Love

Love was... a mystery.
It could bring out the best in people, and it could bring out the worst in people. It could make impossible tasks suddenly so easy; there was just something about it that changed people.
It was often something Nikolai thought to himself, especially during the many break ups he had. The other person screaming through tears, confused how their perfect life could be flipped so easily. Where did this passion come from?
With a yawn he plodded down the sidewalk. He was done with work for the day so may as well treat himself to some coffee at the bakery nearby. The pastry chef there was absolutely adorable, too, always fumbling whenever he flirted with him.
The door to a flower shop he was just about to pass opened, and he quickly stepped away to allow the couple room to pass. He took the moment to observe them. They looked so happy, that bouquet nearly covering the woman up. He remembered when he was like that, gushing over his sweet, innocent girlfriend while playing with her hair, her giggling and blushing all the while. What was her name again? That's right, Shauna. She was one of the librarians at the city's local library; that was how they met. He always made sure to come by and checked out a book once every few days, and the more he visited the more he learned about her. Like how she chose the library because of how quiet a place it was. Perfect for finishing up homework at college, especially with an oh-so hardass of a professor. And, of course, she was a fan of books. Especially... some author he had long forgotten about. And in turn she learned about him. Like how he was a simple health teacher for a high school few knew - or cared - about, or how he was a terrible cook, or even how he'd been checking out the same book each time he came by.
They hit it off after that. She was smitten from the get go, and grew to love cuddling with him on the couch. It went so well that she introduced him to her friends after that. And, well, a smile here or there, a phone number exchanged. Nikolai always figured himself to be the selfless type and never minded sharing his affection with those that wanted it. Shauna, however, did mind. Maybe because he never told her about any of it beforehand.
There were things thrown, some of which connected. There were words screamed, most of which he deserved. Yet he grinned at her. Poor dear, it must have been awful to realize the person you fell head over heals for never cared about you. He used to feel bad about it, but now it all rolled over him. He'd been in a similar position before, he'd lost the person he loved before. Why should others get to feel special and loved when he was stuck with this misery? He wanted to drag as many people down with him as possible, he didn't care how many tears were shed.
Surprisingly, the bakery was empty. Usually by this time it was filled with people getting off work and wanting a snack, or kids wanting a hangout spot for after school. There was a display of treats at the front, all of them heart-shaped pastries. He nodded to himself. That's right, he kept forgetting today was Valentine's Day.
Nikolai ordered his usual coffee and sat at a booth near the window. After roughly a minute, the bell above the door chimed with another customer, a young man dressed in blue, and with a nervous smile on his face. The Sin vaguely recognized him as another teacher, this one from the elementary that fed into his school. The man didn't seem to want to buy anything, only to talk to the pasty chef that seemed equally flustered. A knowing grin escaped Nikolai's lips. Blooming feelings, was it?
He'd met many that were like that, shy and timid around him. It happened here before too. When was that, a couple years ago? He'd enjoyed his coffee just like today when he felt eyes on him. He glanced to the side to see a young woman at a nearby booth constantly looking down at her water then back at him. All alone. Just like him.
Melissa was her name and she was an oh-so sweet girl. How long had she been watching him before he finally noticed? Hours? Days? And that face she made when he sat down in the same booth as her? Priceless.
She never knew what to say, and anything she did say she'd always regret. Nikolai never knew just how many shades of red there were until he saw her kaleidoscope of a face. He loved seeing it, so he'd always be teasing her. She hated it but always smiled at him.
She had never had friends before, and over time spent with him she learned how to open up and break out of her shell. That fretful, quiet personality of hers was now so wonderful and witty, and soon he found even himself being teased!
But then he decided it had been long enough and ended it between them.
"O... Okay..."
He remembered that line, he remembered how she said it.
No arguing, no demanding an explanation, just a defeated acceptance. Instantly her personality reverted and she became quiet again. He remembered watching her try to fight back those tears. He slept well that night.
Now these two, that teacher and that chef, would they meet the same fate? Would they also start off strong and happy, only to end in misery? Nikolai contemplated it as he left the bakery.

Love was... mysterious.
It brought out the best of people, Nikolai mused while reminiscing his past dates. He stopped in his step to gaze into a store advertising Valentine's toys. He spotted his reflection through the glass window.
And it brought out the worst in people.
How many lives had he ruined because of his own petty broken heart? Five? Ten? Fifteen people? There was far more, he knew. Far too many to count. Where were they now? Were they just as miserable as he was? Were they trying to spread it around like a plague?
Nikolai opened the door to his home to see someone already seated at his couch, watching TV. The man turned off the TV before looking at him, giving him a half-smile. "Welcome home," Erithiel greeted.
Or had they met someone to heal those wounds? Someone who could hold their hand and teach them to trust again?
"My, I hope you've been keeping my seat warm for me, dearie," Nikolai teased as he walked over to him, kissing him at the top of his head.

You.
My biggest mystery.
You were meant to be just like them, just another tally mark.
But you ended up different. You're different.
You dug those feelings I'd long buried out and shoved them into my arms. You somehow slipped through all the walls I'd spent so long building.
You changed me.
You scared me.
Because you love me.

"I see you've been busy," Eri noted as he watched Nikolai set down a teddy bear, a bouquet of roses, and a box he opened to reveal heart-shaped pastries.
"But of course, darling! It's an important day, after all!" Nikolai scoffed as he sat down to him. He put an arm over Eri's shoulder, pulling him close so he could caress his cheek. "Happy Valentine's Day, dearie," he said before kissing him. It wasn't long or short, just enough to convey feelings that couldn't be said.

And I love you.