Safe

Darwin‘s a living disaster, or at least that’s how he’s always viewed himself. He often had places to be in and things to do. He’s the textbook definition of a workaholic. Even his bones shake from the weight of all the pressure that he sets for himself.

He believes that he’s not good enough to execute all these ambitions, yet in order to get ahead in life, he’s still going to attempt them anyway.

As of today, he’s recently been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder at a mental health clinic his siblings finally pushed him into. Frankly, he should’ve expected that with how neurotic he can be, but he doesn’t think he can afford the therapy or the benzodiazepines they’re recommending him at the moment.

But at least he knows that yeah, he needs to get help someday and seeking the local counselor on his college campus might be his best option right now.

And whenever he’s at home and he feels waves of panic threatening to invade and blur out all his senses, whenever he feels his throat go tight and his lungs freeze, he goes to Haru. Though he’d been hesitant with seeking comfort through his boyfriend at first, since at the time he was under the mindset that he needed to be the one to deal with his own issues and that no one else should get involved, he still remembers the pain that flashed across Haru’s face when he tried to put distance between them.

“I don’t want to just be there for you,” Haru once told him, his voice watery around the edges. There was determination shining in his eyes at the time, burning brighter than ever. “I am here, always will be.”

And while Darwin appreciates him a lot now, and he’s happy to be in the warmth and safety of his arms every night, there’s only so much that Haru can do whenever he’s at school and away from him in that moment. He can seek Haru out all he wants in their apartment, but whenever Darwin is out and thrown into situations outside of Haru’s reach, it can be a scary reality.

One day, while frantically finishing up a report for a physics lab at a cafe, Darwin feels all of his muscles seize up at random. His fingers are trembling as they hover over the keyboard of his laptop and it’s difficult to breathe.

It hurts.

Chatter from the other patrons buzz all around him. The roars of a quickening pulse drum inside his head, prodding at him with a rapid-fire rhythm that’s out of sync.

It hurts.

There’s a shrill noise piercing his ears, like a sharp static that refuses to stop screaming. It escalates in frequency, overwhelming his everything. Tears are stinging in his eyes, making his vision go all fuzzy.

It hurt—

Suddenly, he feels someone pull him up to his feet before escorting him out of the cafe in a swift yet gentle fashion. It’s a jolt of movement that brings him back to reality, and for a second, he feels another set of panic seeping through.

However, that all diminishes when he’s been brought outside into the quiet of the night, in the back of the cafe where there’s nothing but a chorus of cricket chirps serving as mild background noise. It’s a refreshing change of pace from the crowded atmosphere of the cafe.

As a cool breeze washes over him, he’s able to breathe again, to recollect his composure again.

“Take your time,” a female voice murmurs, almost inaudible with how monotone she speaks. The Nunuke girl that had saved him is still there. She’s maintained a respectable amount of distance from him now, just in case. “Breathe slowly. I have water if you need it.”

A blue hand offers him a water bottle, which Darwin tries to accept. However, it almost slips out from his clumsy grasp. His hands are still shaking, still suffering from the aftermath of the panic attack he almost had. All of his reflexes are jittery, it might take a while for them to steady.

“Let me.” While exercising caution, the girl twists open the bottle cap for him. Then, before she can give it back to him, she asks, “Are you okay with being touched?”

Usually Darwin wouldn’t be (with Haru being an exception), but this time, he doesn’t trust himself to not drop the water that he needs.

After a moment of hesitance, he nods.

That’s all that she needs.

Her hands are warm as she helps tilt the bottle back for him to drink from. A twinge of discomfort occurs within him at first, since Darwin feels like he’s being babied and it’s weird, but his thoughts over that fade away as he finishes a good chunk of his water thanks to her.

“I-I don’t even know you,” he stutters out. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to know me, I just knew that you weren’t okay and understood what that felt like.” Dimples dot her cheeks as she offers him a small smile. “I’m Selah.”

“Darwin.” He blurts his name out without even thinking, which is stupid since he doesn’t usually trust strangers, but what’s done is done. “I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

“It’s not a bother.” There’s a delicate hush to her words as she says this. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Darwin honestly can’t thank Selah enough, and there’s a part of him that wants to keep the conversation going, but he also knows that Haru is waiting for him right now and probably wondering where he is.

After parting ways from each other, he figures he might never see her again, since the chances of that are slim.

But nevertheless, he’s reminded of how understanding some people can be after this and is glad to have met her.