night talks

In the dark of her room on the Rakatan Temple, Bastila lay awake.

It had long-since passed the time where she should have fallen asleep, but after what had surely been hours of restless tossing and turning, Bastila had accepted the fact that sleep would elude her for tonight.

Physically and emotionally, she was exhausted. It had been little over a day since the Star Forge had been destroyed, and despite careful treatment by Jolee, her limbs still ached - but that was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil. While she had certainly stabilised since she had been led back to the light, there was still a war raging in her mind.

Yet, despite this - or perhaps because of it - she was unable to sleep.

Instead, all she could do was lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling blankly while her thoughts and memories flashed before her, out of control.

Bastila didn’t know why she was still here. She didn’t know why the Jedi had allowed her to walk free. She didn’t know why Revan had refused to kill her. Couldn’t they all see that she was still a danger - that she couldn’t return to who she had once been?

These thoughts plagued her, overwhelming her and threatening to drag her deep under. But she still had her Jedi training, and when the door to her room creaked open she was up in a moment, lightsaber in hand and pointed at the intruder as the door shut behind them.

As the glow of her lightsaber lit up the room, Bastila was able to see the identity of her intruder - she was able to see Revan’s startled expression, wide, typically green eyes shining with a yellow glint from the saber pointed at their neck.

The sight was enough to make Bastila feel sick, so she shut off her lightsaber and sat back heavily on the edge of her bed, her eyes downcast.

“...My bad.” Revan spoke after a moment, slowly walking over to Bastila’s bed, taking their own seat a small distance away from her, sitting with their back against the wall behind them, and their knees pulled up to their chest. “I should have knocked.”

Bastila continued to refuse eye contact, letting out a short breath. “What are you doing here, Revan?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Thought you might be in a similar position.”

“...No. You knew I would be in a similar position. After all this time, you still struggle to accept our bond.”

Revan shrugged. “Surface-level feelings are only a fraction of the story, Bastila. I don’t want to just take your feelings from your mind.”

“I am afraid that we don’t have much say in the matter.”

“That seems a rather defeatist way of seeing things.” Revan replied, then paused. “No. Sorry. I didn’t come here to argue. I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“That couldn’t have waited until the morning?”

“No.”

Finally, Bastila looked over at Revan out of the corner of her eye. “You are awfully strange.”

“Ah, that’s why you like me.” Revan grinned at her, then became serious yet again. “But you still haven’t said - are you okay?”

Bastila sighed. She considered lying, or attempting to avoid the conversation - but Revan had always been stubborn. “I… am not honestly sure.”

Revan nodded, and rested their head back against the wall. “I get that. I’m not sure, myself, either. After everything that’s happened… I don’t see how anyone could expect us to be sure of anything.”

Bastila looked away from Revan again, her loose hair falling to shield her face from them.

“...I can leave, you know. If you’d like me to. If that would make it easier.” When Revan spoke again, their voice was low, betraying a double-meaning. “I know that I have been complicating things for you, and I--”

“ Don’t .” Bastila’s voice was forceful, and more sure than it had been in a while. “I have betrayed everything that I have ever believed in. I don’t know where to go from here - every detail of the path ahead is shrouded in mystery, except for you . I don’t- you can’t expect me to…”

Revan moved before Bastila could finish, closing the space between them and wrapping an arm around her. Bastila tensed for half of a second, before relaxing into Revan’s embrace, resting her head against their shoulder.

“Okay.” Revan said, their voice still quiet, but now with a degree of levity. “Then I won’t leave. We’ll do this together. Whatever this is.”

Revan gently combed their fingers through Bastila’s hair, stroking rhythmically and smirking when they felt her smile against them. Eventually, when Revan was sure that Bastila had finally fallen asleep, they shifted so that they could both lay back on her bed comfortably - it was a bit of a tight fit, the bed having been designed for only one occupant, but Revan was certainly not complaining about the opportunity to hold Bastila close.

Time passed, and Revan, too, drifted off to sleep. Neither of them had any way of telling what the future may hold but, at least, for now, the ex-Dark Lord of the Sith and the ex-Jedi were safe together.