Unbalanced

They’re supposed to be meditating. Supposed to be, because the idiot beside him won’t stop moving long enough to start, and every time he does, he finds a way to distract the more disciplined swordsman next to him. The Hasegawa household isn’t known for its tranquility, that’s for sure, but for goodness sake, can’t they instill a little more patience in their son? And they were hoping Yumeshiro would rub off on him? Yeah, sure, when pigs learn to do calligraphy. If Yumeshiro commits a murder right this second and takes over the Hasegawa household, he’d like to state for the record that he is only a man, and though he comes as close to perfect as possible, he could use a little bit of work in the area of patience.

“Shiro-chan,” Tadakatsu starts the same way every time, with a devious lilt warning of trouble on the horizon, as if he’s trying (and succeeding, unfortunately) to give Yumeshiro a headache.

“What?” Yumeshiro responds gruffly, as threatening as possible. It never works. Tadakatsu knows no fear.

Tadakatsu lays his head on Yumeshiro’s shoulder. “We should go see Mukaido-san again. He’s come up with a new script. Everyone’s talking about it!” He throws his hands out and whacks Yumeshiro in the face. Bastard.

“I’d rather shave my head.”

“Okay, I’ll give you a head start.” Tadakatsu partially draws his blade. It earns him a smack upside the head.

“Idiot.”

“C’mon Shiro-chan, he even gets naked in this one, and then drenched in real blood! Your two favourite thi— Ow!”

Yumeshiro puts him into a headlock. Maybe if he squeezes just right, the lack of air will reset Tadakatsu’s brain, and he’ll be a man worth fighting beside. “What are my two favourite things again?”

Without hesitation, he answers with, “Blood and nudity?”

The way he grins fills Yumeshiro with homicidal rage. “Why, because I’m a degenerate like you? I have more refined taste.”

Tadakatsu scoffs and tries to get himself back up, but Yumeshiro shoves his elbow into Tadakatsu’s back. They roll around in the dirt. Every time Tadakatsu thinks he’s gaining the upper hand, Yumeshiro puts him back in his place, teaching him a new lesson every time. If he stayed down, he could keep his dignity. He’d be no less of a man in Yumeshiro’s eyes. Any man can see they’re beneath him, anyways.

“You like how that dirt tastes, Katsu?” Yumeshiro laughs at his friend’s futile efforts. He’ll never get out of this hold with his weak-ass struggling. Give up now! 

Except that’s only true as long as he’s faking. He reverses their positions in one swift movement, and Yumeshiro suddenly finds himself face down in the dirt. He curses and struggles for real. Where the hell does he hide all this damn strength? “I dunno, maybe I should get a second opinion! Whaddya think, Shiro-chan? Good enough to be buried in?”

“I’m going to kill you!” He can’t make good on that threat though. Under Tadakatsu, he loses all of his strength. Grumbling, he stops trying so hard, and Tadakatsu relents.

“Now can we go see Mukaido-san?”

Tonight. Tonight he swears he will kill Tadakatsu.

“...Ugh. Fine.”