Dont want to let you go

Don’t want to let you go

                A sad story isn’t just the moment you heart breaks, it is all the things that lead up to that moment. There are a million ways to tell a story and a million places one could start. This story is one that has haunted me every day since its conception. I could tell you the long story, building on the power of love and friendship, establishing the strength and origin of rivalry. Instead I’ll just skip to the end, like skipping ahead to the last chapter of a book.  So, A good place to start is Murias.

            Murias is an odd city compared to Falias, or rather just different. Most of it is under water, a half sunken city of zealots, thieves, scholars and sorcerers. Death and freedom are so oddly close as the endless sea lies outside of the city of mystery. Falias in comparison is cold city of ice and earth, so quite compared to chatter of merchants and those that dwell here in Murias. My fur and hair always floats around me with the smell of its dampness clinging like a damp blanket, I don’t think things with fur are truly meant to be here. Lyalla if course look beautiful at usual, I guess that’s the benefit of being a celestine. She shined brilliant as the night sky everywhere she went and I loved her for it. We were sent here to fight. We have fought at each other’s sides for years now and have been stationed in all the cities at some point as warriors, mostly fighting in Findias where we hail from. This is the first time we have been to Murias to fight. We have only just arrived in time to set camp and rest, changing guard, some of those already more rested sent straight into battle. I lie on the ground where I and my fellow warriors rest. It’s the start of a day and we are to get our orders. I see Lyalla rise from where she rested, sunset hair streaming and starry skin twinkling and shining in the water that surrounds us. She walks to me in her usual confidant stride and crouches down next to me “get up you lazy mutt” she says with a grin poking me with one of her many deadly arrows. I growl at her and sit up, at this she belts out in laughter “what so fucking funny” I snap at her. It takes her few moments to stop laughing “if you could see your hair right now, it everywhere like a sea urchin.” I just glare at her and bat at my hair in a hopeless attempt to tame it before standing up “perhaps we should head over to hear orders” I rumble out.  She rises with me standing tall with a lopsided amused grin on her face “of course” and takes the lead as usual. We go to the grouping of the other soldiers gathered to hear where they are to be going to fight that day. Its more of a rough suggestion, we often move among the battles in the area, going wherever the fighting takes us. We each go up one at a time. I am sent to the eastern part of Murias and she is sent to the west, where many sail in attempt to flee Tir na nog. We give our usual nod to each other as we leave for each of our posts “don’t get into too much of a mess while were apart” she calls as we part. I flip her off, to which she cracks up in response to. A toothy wolfish grin spreads on my face “and you be careful, you won’t have me there to shred opponents” I call back to her, “I can handle myself” she quips back as she just starts to disappear from view, her skin twinkling in the distance. With that we pause and nod again in respect and walk, disappearing from each other’s sight.

            Now I could tell you about how the next few days went. Tell you every gory little detail, every fight, every triumph and loss, but at some point, that gets boring. In short, the next few days were battle fill as most my days are, all spent fighting various foe. Many of us dying on the battlefield only to reset over and over again, the never-ending war. We soldier lived to fight, it was our lives regardless of whether or not the war made any progress, regardless of whether anything changed. I kept to the eastern side of Murias and Lyalla presumably kept to western side. Now, I would have skipped entirely to this next part here, but there is something about the morning that has stuck in my head until this very day, her smile, he laughter and jests, the sight of her fading from view.

            The day had begun to draw to an end bleeding into night as I faced my next enemy, I knew this one. He was one of the ones that hung around Zaffre, like a shadow or pet. Zaffre and I had a long ugly history on the battle field and had long ago sighted each other as enemies. In truth we are both rather young for fae so in the reality of things we haven’t been rivals for that long. I don’t remember what this one’s name, I can never really remember what his little side bitches’ names are. He, like the others, are just a face behind that blue bastard, tools for his disposal. The fight didn’t last long. He was a decent fighter, threw a few good hits, broke a few bones, but he was no match for my speed and healing. My claws and teeth quickly met his flesh and his blood filled my mouth and soaked my fur. I went in for one final hit, my claws plunging through his stomach. And then, he laughs, blood spilling from his lips. A bit of odd response but not unseen in battle mad warriors who have seen on too many fights and have lost all their wits. I snarl “what so funny”. He laughs harder with a ting of insanity “I was sent to give you a message”. “What message” I growl. His laughs turn to choking as he coughs up blood, the red of it spilling down his chin “Zaffre sent me. He wants you to know that he took her, your precious friend”. I laugh “Lyalla can protect herself, she’s bested Zaffre in battle many times over the years.” To this comment he gives a blood grin, eyes manic “oh but he’s already won that battle, and soon it will be too late” he taunts as he looks to the dark sky, the moon dipping down “her body will lie at the bottom of the endless sea” he says with one last blood choked breath, his corpse crumbling to the ground. As his word settled upon me the fear rose up from my stomach. I hadn’t felt fear in long time, no real point of it on the battle field, it just got in the way. I struggle to keep any shred of calm I still have as I Ignore the dying heat of battle around me and run, the shores of the endless sea are so far away. I see the moon dipping farther and farther from view like my heart plummeting farther down, sinking to my stomach as a I push myself to run faster.

I finally arrived as the sun had just barely begun to peak over the horizon, sunlight glinting and shimmering through the water, only just minutes from a new day. There he stood, brilliant blue hair gleaming in dim rising light, well groom as usual even after a long day of battle. His handsome face smeared and flecked with blood, clothes torn. He stood with arrogant sort of stance. His eyes catch upon me as I rush on the beach running toward him, his face lighting with a cruel smile “welcome” he says in a mocking tone as he spreads his arms wide, gesturing out around him. The area is littered with bodies of dead fae, impossible to tell which side any of them are from. That’s what happens when you die is suppose, you become nothing more than a body. I stop in front of him, only inches away. His eyes scan over me with a dark satisfaction “good of you to have arrived” his tone taunting. I lock eyes with him, holding his gaze “what did you do” I grind out snarling, panic and anger rushing through me like a dangerous song. He chuckles cruelly “I did what warriors do” his tone matter of fact with a tinge mockery. I look around briefly in hopes that I would see her body among the dead, ready to rise again in the minutes to come. “you won’t find her there my dear rival” he notes as he watches me scan the bodies piled around us. “what did you do, where is she” I growl, flashing my teeth. His lips twist again in his usual cruel and arrogant smile “why in the endless sea of course”. I watch his beautifully cruel face, hatred and anger burning in my chest “why?” He looks me over and laughs before walking up close to me “for you of course” his hand strokes my face with an almost loving gesture. He leans in closer and says in a lowered tone “I did this to take away something you loved and held dear and there is nothing you love more than her” he moves away with triumphant sort of smile and looks to the rising sun. Everything goes blank as the beast within takes over. When I come back to consciousness Zaffre’s body is lying at my feet, gored and gutter, his pretty face marred and mauled by teeth and claws. I take a moment to come back to myself and calm down. I remember why I am here, what it is I came for. There is a sinking feeling of dread in my stomach as I look to the rising sun and I rush half swimming to the endless sea, plunging over out of Tir na nog. I look around frantically everywhere. There are so many remains that litter the floor of the endless sea, rotting flesh and bones, rather unusual in Tir na nog. I look and look for a sign of sparkling starry skin and sunset wings.

             It takes what feels like hours before I see her, time moving like molasses. Another corpse among the many, her pretty hair floating around her like a halo. I swim down and pull her body from the massing tangle. Carrying her lose to my chest I swim her back over to Tir na nog, back to Murias. When I cross over I look around frantically for a place to take her broken body, somewhere private, away from already starting newly battle. Those that had fallen rise around picking up their weapons and sighting upon enemies yet again. I wade with her through the starting battles and bodies and find an area more hidden away. I kneel on the ground, hold her close to me in my lap looking on her cold lifeless face, still lovely even in death. I look to the sky, the sun raised high and look back to her, eyes intent on her face “please” I say to her, to myself. Her face is peaceful and her hair floats around us, brushing on skin like silken threads. I wait and wait watching for any sign of life. The sun rises higher and falls again, the battle continuing on just outside of our little hidden space. I wait for her to stir, even just a little but she doesn’t. I watch and watch into the night as a new sun rises again. Tears stream down my face as she remains still and cold as the new sun rises “please, please just come back. Come back and tell me what a weak idiot I am for crying, come back a tell me I’m fool. Come back and yell at me for getting you dragged into this” I beg, holding her close. But she remains still.