Becoming Ansel

A young girl sat at the cafe table bent over a sketchbook with a bag of chips and a tea sitting nearby. Her tongue was poking out just past her lips while she obviously concentrated on her drawing. Jorlais couldn’t help but smile. She’d argue it, but he knew she was the most beautiful human being on earth. No one would ever convince him otherwise. He sat down next to her, watching her silently for a moment. He knew she hated being disturbed while she worked on her art. But he didn’t mind. He loved watching her slender hands grip her pencil and watching it slip over the paper in a sketchy motion, somehow creating a beautiful piece of art. She finally looked up at him, putting her pencil down after a moment. She seemed frustrated with her drawing. But he couldn’t see what was wrong with it. “Hey, Jor.” She smiled up at him, scooching closer to him and laying her head on his shoulder. “How were your classes today?” “They were classes as usual.” He shrugged, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Whatcha drawing, Leanne?” He asked, looking down at the sketchbook where an intricate sketch of a mermaid that looked very similar to Leanne herself recided. “We have to do a self portrait for my art class.” She explained, frowning. “In a way that we feel would best fit us. And you know how I love the beach and singing. But… it just doesn’t seem right…” she frowned. “I can’t get it…” “I think it looks beautiful, babe.” He told her with a smile but he was met with a deadpan look. “Sorry.” He apologized. “What’s going on with it? I honestly don’t see anything wrong.” She frowned, looking down at the paper, her long hair falling over her face to hide from him. But he knew what was going on, he didn’t have to see the splashes on the paper to know she was crying. “I...I don’t know Jor. I don’t feel right. Every time I look in the mirror I don’t feel right. Whenever someone calls me miss or she it kinda throws me off… I don’t know what’s going on…” she whimpered. He frowned, pulling her closer. “Hey. It’s okay. Maybe you’re just having one of your ‘boy’ days.” He reasoned, knowing his genderfluid girlfriend often has random days where she didn’t feel ‘normal’ and on those days he had a boyfriend. He didn’t mind it at all. He just wanted to do everything he could to make his girl comfortable and happy. “It’s not like that.” She shook her head, finally looking up at him, her silver eyes pleading. “I’ve felt like this for a long time now. You know my boy periods only last a day or so. Well I’ve felt like this for at least a month. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure…” she whimpered. “You’re trans then?” He asked, not beating around the bush. “You’re a boy?” She nodded. “I-I-I th-think so…” He nodded silently for a moment, rubbing her back absently. “Alright.” He finally spoke. “What can I do for you to help you?” He asked. She shrugged, lunging forward and burying her face in his neck as she sobbed. “I’m scared. M-mom and dad w-won’t want anything to do with me.” She whimpered. “I can’t be trans. I just can’t.” “Hey. You’re parents will love you no matter what. And if they don’t because of this then they don’t love the real you.” He explained. “I’ll be right here with you. The whole way. No matter where this new journey takes you I’ll be right there beside you, okay?” She pulled back, smiling weakly at him. “Thank you, Jorlais. I love you so much. umm… d-do you think you could use he/him for now? I wanna give it a try… see how it feels?” He nodded with a smile. “Of course darling.”

~~~

Jorlais smiled as his partner walked out of the dressing room. He was so handsome. And that smile on his face looked more genuine than any smile he had ever seen on ‘Leanne’. “How do you feel, baby?” He asked. He looked at him brightly, doing a little spin to show off his new skinny jeans, tee shirt and brand new short hair. “I feel like me.” He said, tears welling in his eyes. “I feel like Ansel.”