Cowboy in the cave

So apprently, I'm supposed to be from Pennsylvania, but really I always felt more at home at where I was raised at.

When it comes too the 'long walk' as Mathew puts it, I don't remember much on it. If someone brings a spsific part of the jounery up, I may be able to remember a part, but that does little too help me overall. Really I can't relate to my siblings when they talk of it, I just nod along and agree with them, but I can never relate. Which isn't great because one of the things they always bring up is my bad health during the long walk, and since I was the one that was suffering under it, my input would be liked. But the worse thing I can't remember is my parents. When I have five, my father and mother where killed in a car crash. But I can't ever seem to think of anything important about them on my own free will. I've heard nice things about them, yes. But nothing that makes me feel full you could say. Only two memories I have of each of my parents, was for my mother me hiding under her long dress when I was little from my large and scary looking grandfather. And for my father, him reading me and my brother Caleb a war story. I wish I could remember more, because people around me speak so highly of them. But what can I do? I just can't wish memories in where they do not belong, even if I wanted too.

I was mainly raised in Texas. And by most means I throught of myself as a Texan. Growing up in the small town of Mull-Tunnel there wasn't always that many people my age, in fact for a while, I was the youngest guy around. But then suddenly all of those babies I found so unintresting because loud playful children, and suddenly I wasn't the youngest most bothersome kid around town, I was the cool, oldest kid, who could teach them new and exciting things to do around town. And in fact, for a while when I was 10 or so, that was my thing. I would walk around town like a general with my troops of younger children and we'd go off and have a adventure every day. Everyone liked us back then, in fact sometimes when we walked past people they'd say 'oh here comes the troop of children.' My family life had changed too by then. I had four siblings, Abe and Becky, the twins who where the oldest, Caleb, and Deb. Then there was my gardiains, Mathew who was a older man that mainly kept to himself, he's wife Edith who was a short but strong willed woman, Gdynia the dog who I conciered my best friend back when I was the youngest kid. That was my family growing up. But see, almost as long as I can remember, Abe Becky and Caleb had been working. And soon by the time I was 8 Deb was working too by cleaning up in the town's Church every week end. And that was normal too me, but it also meant I was a little lonely sometimes. That was unless I was at school. I was liked there greatly, well by everyone but the girls anyway. But then when I was 10, Abe had some shooking news too tell everyone. I'll exsplain how it went.

The year was 1958, Abe and Becky where 18, Caleb was 17, Deb was 14, and I was 10. We where all home that day, Mathew and Edith where sitting in the living room chairs next to each other, and Gdynia was laying at Caleb's feet. Since we had moved in things had to be changed to hold five more people. One of them was the guest room got a anouther bed, and was now only for Becky and Deb. And the basement was cleaned up too fix three boys. And a anouther thing was the couch, it was a very ugly yellow color with red flowers on it, from what I heard Edith picked it out, or at least that's what Mathew told me. Anyway in the room there was some idle chit chat, but nothing much. Deb was sitting on the couch next to Becky, Deb was talking to me about her school life, and how she wanted to work in the Church later on after she got out. Becky didn't say much, but as of late she was looking very happy, in about a hour she was going to be going into town for her daily phone call, there was a house phone here but for some reason she liked using the one in town if everyone was here. In fact she was looking particlarly gleeful today. She leaned back into the couch and fiddled with her hair in her fingers. Caleb was sitting in the kichen facing the living room, and Gdynia the dog was sitting by he's feet. I'm not really sure what he was doing, but it seemed like he was writing a letter of some kind. He did that from time to time, but he doesn't really have friends outside of he's work at the bank, or a 17 year old he worked pretty hard on he's job. The TV was playing but I don't really think anyone but Mathew was actually watching it, Becky looked at it but not watched it. And Edith was asleep. “Sometimes when I'm walking to class,” Deb said. I got the impression that if she had long hair she would have fiddeled it in her fingers, but her hair wasn't black and long like Becky's, it was short and blounde. “I see you walking around with all your friends, before they have to leave you. Do you think once they all get into school you'll be the most poplaur boy there not in highschool?” She was talking about my little troops, and how most of them where going into school next year, most people seemed to get into school around 6 here for some reason. “Oh I think so. Yeah, too bad we won't be in the same class.” Deb shrugged. The reason I was on the floor was because I was drawing up a map of the long creek that was way outback, it took nearly half a day too get out there, but it was there. Then without warming in came Abe. He stood looking around at us for a second. Abe was 18 then, but he looked to be complettly grown. He even had a bread since we was 15. But what was weird about him right now was that he was wearing a sleveless shirt and shorts in the middle of winter. Sure winter didn't get that cold over here, but it was a little chilly outside right now, and it was almost dark too. There was already a darker blue hazze over everything outside, and we already had to turn the lights on. He actually looked happy, which was odd because normally he had a blank face on. In a few strides he steped into the kicken, picked up a chair and sat it next to the couch, and turned over to where Caleb was. “Hey, Caleb come over here, and bring that chair your on.” Caleb gave him a bothered look, but did as he was told and sat he's chair over to the other side of the couch then sat back down, Gdynia followed him and sat down next to he's feet again. Then he looked over to me on the floor and said. “Ed, sit on the empty chair.” And leaving my drawing tools and paper there, I did what he said and now all four of where watching him. In fact everyone in the room but Gdynia was paying full attension to him. Even Edith woke up too see what was going on. Abe rubbed he's large hands together then started speaking. “I have something to tell everyone. Now I've already made my mind up about it so it's final.” After he said that Caleb took a glance over at Deb, Abe saw that and for a breaf second glanced at Caleb with some nastlyness in he's eyes. “Now I'm just doing to say it up front, I'm joining the military.” He let that sit for a second, and no one could or would say anything so he went on. “I haven't signed up yet, but I will in a week.” Again no one said anything, I was at a loss for throughts let alone words, but for once Caleb was the only one who had anything to say. Still leaning back in the chair he's hole body spread out in a more casual way he said blankly. “Well then, I'll need to take up a summer job then come next year.” “What? No!” Becky sat up quickly, her gay and blessfull manourisums gone now. “You can't just leave like that! Why didn't you talk to me about it?” She yelled, and Mathew sat up from he's chair. “I need to use the bathroom.” He said. “You can all sort this out by yourselves.” And then, he went upstairs and left us. And Edith signed leaning back like a woman in a victorian novel. “Well, it's my choice Becky.” “You couldn't have talked it out?! Do you even know where you want to go in the military?”  “I'll just let that come as it will. I don't have anything in mind.” “Why do you even want to go? Are you just trying to get away from us?” “No, clam down. And besides it's not like you don't have your own personal life.” Becky made a made face at him and said. “My personal life doesn't require me leaving you all.” “Mhh, well where I see it going it just may.” Abe mumbled, and Becky looked like he slapped her in the face. “It won't and I don't think you have the right too-” “Oh won't you leave it? I told you a week before I'm leaving, so you can all have time too get ready.” And then with a loud ruff and in a agreguse tone he said. “I've babyed you all long enough.” and then he went out the back door. Again Becky looked like he slapped her in the face, and she followed him outside, to which soon after we heard loud yelling back. Caleb looked too where they had both went out, and he shook he's head, got up and took the chair with him, and went back to he's letter in the kichen. I turned my head over to Deb, and she was looking at the ground with her hand on her chest. Then our eyes met. “Well, I was with him up until that last part.” And then she moved her hands into fits and said again with more passion. “Like he's the only one that works around here! Ah! Babyed us, how rude.” And turned her head away from me and looked out where he left. “It'd be better if he left anyway. It's not our faults he only ever thinks of the family, we didn't ask for that.” Edith signed and turned back on the TV she was watching before. “Abe's a funny one. That's all I can say.” Edith put down the final word, and I didn't even get in a letter.

Abe left two weeks and a half later. No one really had much to say to him when he did finally leave, he left right before it went dark too. The only one of us that seemed moved to see him go was Deb. Abe seemed a little embarashed when she hugged him and told him, “You be good, please write us all letters- and please tell us how it all go's.” He just said back that he would, even if he wasn't much of a writing man. Becky just looked hurt, Mathew and Edith said a few words of encojment, and Gdynia sat by Caleb. But actually, Caleb's response meant something to me. Caleb, walked over to Abe, patted him on the left shoulder and said. “This will be good for you. You'll do well.” And the way he said it was like he was laying down the law. This WILL be good for Abe, and he WILL do good. Abe seemed touched by that too, and nodded, saying nothing. At the end Abe looked at me, told me too keep doing good, and added a quick note on how I needed to find a way to be useful. He kissed Deb on the head real quick, then left for town right as it was turning from blue to black. It was the first night in a long time since me and Caleb had to sleep in the basement alone. The night we finally had enough beds for everyone, because there was two in the basement, me and Caleb had a long talk about “No, you should sleep in Abe's bed.” Until he got tired of talking and lifted me up and thrown me onto the bed then quickly ran back to our bed and spread he's body across it protectivly. I laughed and we fell asleep.

Now, before we get into the modern day, let's go over one more thing. My gang of little kids or as I call them, the troops. There are six in total. Two boys and four girls. First are the Halls, There's Aidyn Hall, Luis Hall, and lastly Madyson Hall. As of 1964, when I was recording this, Aidyn is 13, Luis is 11, and Madyson is 14 the second oldest in our army only too me. Aidyn is sort of a second in comand. Sure no one dares question my leadership, but if anyone can point out a problem it's him by any means. And my bigest fear is that by the time he gets 15, he may over throw me in my older age. Younger kids around here dislike kids that are too old you see, and me, being 16 now, am pushing their limits. Sure I disliked older kids too when I was their age, but now I see more things too like in them too. Not that I would tell them that out right. But now the kids that where older then me when I was their age are now in their 20s. Aidyn wasn't a teacher's pet, or did he spend he days in books, in fact I'm not sure he can read in the first place. But what he does have is a good natural cleverness about him. I'd say he's bigest problem is he talks too much, but everyone lets him because he is just so well liked, even all the girls don't mind he's ways. Then there was Luis, Luis Hall didn't talk much, wasn't smart, and overall wasn't clever like he's older brother was. He was 11, and even when he was littler he always acted below he's age. But what he did have, was that he never hated, or disliked, or was bothered by anyone. He's father mr Hall, was a scary hard man. One of those men that are tainted by war in the worst ways. And while the rest of the troop, and even more so Aidyn and Madyson are terrified of him to the point they don't even like people bringing up he's name. Luis can get literally beaten till he's blue (or red) and he'll come out with a dumb smile. He could be done dirty by anyone and he'd still treat them like a friend. I'm not sure if he was just forgiving or stupid. Heck I've even told him myself that he was stupid, and he'd just look at me, shrug and say. “I'm sorry.” In a way that said he didn't mean that, he just didn't want me too feel bad. He was also the only one out of the group that didn't seem to fully respect me. Sure he had to act like he did because I was older of course, but outside of that, I had no power over him. And then there is Madyson. Before when she was younger she more or less a sheep. She did what she was told and said nothing on it. That was unless what she was told to do something that could ruin her clothes, in that ever happened she wouldn't come out to play the next day, and the day after that her legs literally couldn't run. So we all took great care in making sure she was never dirty, lest her father see her clothes in bad shape. There's been a few times when we've all worked together to clean her dress up. But now that Madyson, or Mady is 14 she's gotten more smart, and a little more worldly you could say. She seemed to respect me more then the others I suppose. And if someone (Who isn't me) gets a stupid idea in their head, she'll tell them. Then there's the three other girls, all from different families. Kylie Rivers, 13. Sara Hines, 12. And Abbie Orr 11. Kylie is now the tallest in our group, in fact we're almost the same hight now, which isn't shocking because her father is a gaint, but still a little supriseing. Kylie however is causing me some problems, but I'll get into that later. Then there's Sara, Sara and her mother are the only people in the hole town that doesn't have skin red because of the sun. Apprently Sara's grandfather was a Indian warrior of some kind, those of what tribe Sara can never be able to say. But it's usually said around town that it wasn't a good one. And weirdly enough Sara takes some pride in that, but maybe it's because Sara dosen't really act like a girl even at 12, in fact she sometimes acts more like a boy then Aidyn and Luis do, but she cries easly so not fully. Then lately our youngest by three months is Abbie Orr. We often call her by her full name, because she likes how it sounds like a book character's name. Abbie is a little different. All of her 3 sisters are in their 20s and she often go's on and on about how she wants to be just like them. She does what she's told well and doesn't have many ideas either, but she isn't a problem. Through honestly sometimes I wish I wasn't 16 and she wasn't 11, so we could see more eye to eye. I understand a lot of her thoughts on her siblings, because like her her family life is a big part of who she is, or at least who people say she is. And I understand that. We are both the youngest in a big family. But sadly we can't talk about such things, what a shame.

Now here's the problem that I've been having as of late. Well a few actually, but one of them is there is a devide between the male devison and the female devison between my troops. There's been a lot of fighting, and name calling, mainly led on by Kylie. Who says I'm the only boy she'll ever listen too, not even Aidyn. And she deagrees with everything Aidyn says, even when before this she probably would have. This infighting and dissapointed me, because back when they where younger, we used to be a shining exsample on how boys and girls shouldn't between ourseleves like kids in the bigger school in town do. But now that look was falling appart.

And my other problem, is problems with the family. It's been a few years since Abe left for the military. That was in 1958, and now it was 1964. Abe didn't visit often, and he didn't write much either and when he did it because clear to us how bad of a speller he was. Sometimes we'd all gather round and try and tell what he was saying to us, it was almost like a family game we'd play every other month. He's job in the military was unclear to us as well, he always said it was like being a police officer, but only in the military, those any time he'd try and describe it in detail it just sounded like he was a taddle tale, and I didn't like taddle tales. And then there was Becky, apprently those phone calls she'd be having for years where with a far off boyfriend, and now they where getting married. Without warming this young man who I'd never seen before in my life came in from Pennsylvania, and took Becky away. And when she came back a month later, her name was Becky Hazes. Well I was just in a horrible shook from this, I didn't want to be around her when she came back, sure Mathew and Edith didn't really have a opnion like most of the time. Caleb when he heard the news he's eyes got wide, then he shook he's head and went back to what he was doing before hand, and he would never bring it up, in fact I think he'd get mad at you if you brought it up. The only one of us that seemed happt to see her again was Gdynia, the poor dog seemed so glad to see she was ok, he sniffed her feet and jumped up all around her to smell all over. But the one of us with the most colorful reastion was Deb. Why she pointed at her and called her names that where so bad Becky lefted the room, her new husband started fighting with Deb, and then the couple both left. After that there was a perido of Becky living this place and that, till at some point she sedlled down in Pennsylvania, and made sure she wrote us or called us as much as she could, Deb didn't want to talk to her. 

So now I'm going to put a pin on June 10^th 1964. Then I was 16, and sadly those my troops still had young adevtures in their minds, I was thinking of more epic ideas. See many times throughout my childhood, I had made maps of the hole town of Mell-Tunnle. The maps where so detailed that very time I found something I had to make a hole new map. I had this old little habit of, like in old maps of the sea, I would draw monsters in the far off distance. But I had to make us my own monsters, because there didn't seem to be any intresting horrors in Texas. Anyway, way off to the right of the town off from the derection of the smaller homes, was this long creek that sadly didn't have a name, we just called it 'the creek'. We had tried to name it before me and the troops, Aidyn and made a few great names for it, but nothing would never stick longer then a month. The creek comes from a waterfall actually, and comes up from a mountain of rocks way up high. But in between the creek below and the top of the mountain is this wet cave area. It's harder to see in spring fall and winter, but in summer things get so hot the caves are easyer to get too then before, unless of course a big rain just came down. Now of course we had been in the begging of these caves before, but we never got that far in. Either because it was so dark we couldn't get anywhere with it, or because of fear- uh, but don't repeat that last one. Anyway, that morning the second I got up I know it was the day. I had been planning this out for a long time now. On my birthday the thing I streassed to everyone that I wanted was a flashlight, and luckly I had said it too so many people, that by mistake Abe bought me one, Mathew bought me one, and Deb bought me one! But three wasn't bad for my plan no, actually it was great for it! Abe's one was the best, because apparently he had got it off a anouther man in the military, and I don't know where that other man got it from, but it sure did look new and shinny. This would be the one that I will use! So on that Saturday morning, I left as early as I could, Mathew and Edith where still asleep, and my two lowal sibings, Deb and Caleb, where actually having breakfast at the same time. Deb leaned over in her chair and smiled at me. “Ha! Your up, good I didn't feel like getting you up.” Now at that point I was planning on just running right out of the door, I had my sack of goods hidden in a pillow sheet behind my back, butttt the food did smell good, and besides there wouldn't be any food out there so I probably needed to fill up first. Quickly I sat down next to them, besides Deb where Becky used to sit. And grabbed as much eggs as I wanted and ate it there. “You should say thanks first.” Deb slilly added, her albow on the table. Caleb was reading something in the paper, we actually never got the paper ourselves, but one of Caleb's co workers got up early every morning, and when he was done reading it would leave yesterday's news on our doorstep, so Caleb and him could talk about modern things while they worked, even though Caleb was always a day behind him. Anyway he was reading it now, he looked a lot older then 23 then. Not in a masculine way like Abe, but more in a mature way. Caleb didn't do boyish things anymore, there wasn't any time for it. If fact the only time I had ever seen him in town for a reason that wasn't work, was when he was around one of Abbie's older sisters. “Huh, oh right thanks Deb.” I said swallowing. “Well I wasn't talking about me, but thank you.” When I got done eating there was still of tiny left overs on my plate, little things that wouldn't matter to me, so I sat the plate on the ground when I left and Gdynia slowly got up from under Caleb's chair and started slowly licking the thing clean, while I stood up and slung the pillow bag over my back. “Wow, it's frying out there and you want to carry that around?” Deb asked laughing. I nodded as I put on my best non winter boots next to the door. “Yep, I got something important planned today.” I could feel Caleb's eyes as I got done. He was judgeing me for sure, he had been as of late. Through the reason I did not know. “Well be careful, you could get a heat strote out there in this kind of weather.” That was a good point, so quickly I turned pace, ran all the way down into the basement, found my cowboy hat I had for 3 years now, I had a different one before that but it was too small for me now, this one was actually getting small on me too, but this one actually had a purpose, to shade my head from the sun, so I picked the thing up by the tip, flopped the tane wide thing on my head. Then I looked through a old unused drawer and was able to find my older white hat, this one could probably fit which ever one of my troops I was going to take with me today, I only needed one person. And after stuffing the older hat into my pillow bag I ran up the stairs, through the kicten and out the front door.

It really was a horribly hot day, I hardly saw anyone outside of their homes at all. Today I only wanted to bring one troop along with me, and that person I had in mind was Aidyn. Luckly he didn't live too far off from me, but it was still far enough from where I was at that by the time I was in he's cluster of homes I was sweating like a pig, it made me wish I had gotten started a lot earlyer in the morning. When I got up too he's small home, I prayed mr Hall wouldn't be the one to answer the door, who ever was coming did take a little while, but when the door was opened I was almost face to face with Mady. She seemed surprised and maybe a little bit worried, she kept her voice low and slowly she shut the door behind herself as she stood next to me. “What are you doing here Ed?” I waved a wet hand at her. “I got a speical thing planned today, but I need just one troop to come with me, and I was wondering if Aidyn was home.” Mady nodded but bit her lip. “He's very busy, with uh, father work. But Luis is free...” I put my wet free hand to my chin and looked up at the sky for a moment then looked down trying not to blind myself. “Mhh, actually, do you want to come instead?” Mady gasped lightly, then nodded quickly. “Yes please! I would love too.” “Great!” Then I moved the bag over my back to in front of my chest, and I pulled the white cowboy hat out of the bag and in front of her. “Wear this, too keep the sun out of your face.” She looked at it for a few seconds, then looked back up with a sorry face and took it. “Ok, but let's get out of here quickly, in case anyone sees me.” I nodded and quickly we where off.

Now getting to the creek from the town took a long time, in fact a trip on foot from town to creek and back was almost a hole sunlight's day. So as you can guess by the time the homes from town where far off in the distance we where both very sweaty and tired. I had water inside the bag, but I gave it all too Mady and she drank it all in 30 minites. In about a hour's time we could see the creek way off in the distanse, and the waterfall too, when we saw it we felt better and started being able to talk again. “So...” Mady started, out of breath. “Just what do you want to do today on such a hot day near the creek?” “I'm- huff! We're going to be going into the cave systome today. We're going to be exsporing it.” She turned over to me and gave me a weird look, her face was actually kind of funny because her eyes where shut from the sun. “We tried that before, and it was took dark Ed.” “Ah, but for my birthday I got three flashlights, so I can hold one and you can hold two in each hand.” Mady throwed. “Won't I get dirty in the cave?” “No, you'll just get wet. And by the time we get back to town you'll be dry anyway. Don't worry you'll be fine I promise.” She gave me one more worried look before we went on, getting close to the creek. Between the creek and the caves, beyond the water of course, was about three feet of rocks, which probably doesn't sound like much, but the creek at the bottom of the waterfall was very deep, so deep that our bodies would be covered if our feet touched the bottom, so we had to get into there a different way, mainly from the side. The rocks did touch the land between the creek and the moutain of stone. Which again probably does sound easy, but the bigest problem is these rocks had been getting sprayed with water for longer then I've been alive, who knows maybe longer then Theo Cox had been alive. So they where all thick with green moss, and that made them easy to slip on. And you probably didn't want to fall into that creek by mistake. And all of that meant, that me and Mady had to be careful. I went first as any leader should, my shoulder and langth of my arm rubbing up agesnt the hard stone earth. In one second the waterfall blinded me, as well as made my hole body and bag completely wet, I had to hole onto my hat as I finally stepped into the cave, and I was imidditly realived to find out just how much more cooler it was in here then out there. And much how much more darker too, the water felt good too. Then I stepped close to the water door in front of me, and pushed my hand and upper arm though it and yelled out so she could here me. “Come on! Take me hand!” I felt Mady grab a hold of me, then quickly passed through the water door and nearly fell into the cave as she let go of me. “Oh, it's so dark in here!” She cried. “Yeah.” And quickly and rumbled through my bag, gave her two flashlight, in which she quickly turned them on. And I pulled out the one that Abe had given me. Mady handed me back the white cowboy hat and said “I don't need that here.” And so I put it back into the bag. When all three flashlights where on, we got a real good look at just how blue the cave was. I think the light blue shining light came from the sun hitting the water to our backs, and the darker blue color, which was the most promument in the caves here, was from the wet old puddles that where spread out here and there everywhere. And the last color was the slightly dark shaded peach color and was reflecting off of the ceiling very good. The overall shape of the cave here seemed twisted but smooth shaped too, like a poorly made clay version of a cave. I had seen this front part of the cave a few times, but never with such good light, I could have sworn there was pillers of earth. That's what caves had on TV anyway, pillers of earth that came up from the ground.  But this one didn't any anything of the such in it. I purpasly tried to keep my face blank, which if you didn't know is a great way for a leader and or general to conduct himself, unless a great battle has been won or lost of course. Mady however looked around with modest worry in her eyes. “So, there are only one way to go from here, and that's down.” I said, walking ahead of Mady and we both went down into the cave. It was odd, it was like there was hundrids of noises and yet non at all. I mean I could prove there was the sounds of drips of water and our shoes hitting the floor, but it seemed like there was other more odd sounds. I wouldn't have sworn then that I wasn't creepied out a little bit. It wasn't too long till the water door behind us faded away, and we where only saved by our flashlights, the only thing showing that the cave hadn't had eaten us hole. When it came to the noises that I couldn't quite identiy, a lot of them seemed so far off that I wouldn't even call them real fully. Some where like droping of a item that could have been wooden, or the very very distat sound of breaking glass. Or maybe a human grunt or horse shoes running. Actually maybe the horse running was more like two people running in circles far off in the middle of a dark cave. Oh, oh that thought didn't calm down my mind. Quickly a not so fun little story was made up about two insain people that live deep down far into a cave, a man and a wife, and that build up a little home right in the middle of the darkest part of the cave, like a web in a thick tree. And they ate whatever small life came by either way. Oh, oh what would they ever do with children? Mady stuck by close to my back, though like that it was hard for her to keep her two flashlights showing the way at the front where I walked. “Are you ok?” I asked. “Yes.” “Do you want to go home?” “No.” “Are you feeling fine?” “Yes.” “Are you scard?” “... Yes.”

At this point we had stopped walking slowly as too aviod falling over from anything wet, the cave was barely wet at all anywhere inside now. In fact it almost felt painfully dry, like the deasrt that no one could live in. At a point, I was starting to notice something odd. “Mady, why aren't there any bugs in there?” “I don't know, nothing to eat.” She awnsered, her body still pressed up agesnt my back, which bothered me a little but I made no effort too stop her. As of late I started to see girls in a difrent light, and Mady's behavor wasn't helping much. “It just feels weird you know, like there should be some sort of bug or animal inside here.” Mady nodded agenst me. Then her head popped away from me, and she looked out ahead of us. “Oh Lord Ed!” She cried, pointing her flashlight far ahead of us. “What is that? Oh Ed!” I stood still for a moment and looked into the distance carefully, then said with little air from the lack of breathing. “I think that's just a piller of rock, maybe there's more then one.” Mady stayed behind me as I took lead, I walked very slowly up too the unknown figure, and when I had gotten close enough, it was shown to me that I was right in thinking it was a piller of rock. In fact there was a few of these blue pillers surrounded by deep darkness even when a flashlight was shown apon it. “See? I was right, come Mady.” And slowly she followed him into the strange room. It was small and round for a room, but parts here and there where pointed up on the ground. The pillers where of course old, they had to be, I suppose anyway. But they where only half of the size of my body, and I had a feeling they would get bigger and bigger with time and age as they pass. I watched them with bored eyes and a quite face, like if I waited there long enough I could see them grow before me. Mady only took a glance at the pillers, then moved in closer to me and pulled on my arm. “Can we please move on?” She tugged on me a few more times. The pillers where lighter at the top, and darker at the bottom. Like age as rotted it too it's core. It made me wonder what the inside of it looked like. “Come on! Your as slow as death Ed!” That was the most rude thing she had ever said to me, and I was so surprised by it that she was able to drag me out of the room and away from the cillers, that where probably as old as the country I was born and raised in.

Deeper inside the cave was both as boring as watching paint dry, and as intresting as a in color movie. The air got dryer then the wet most start of the cave was, and soon the blue darkness became brown, then orange, and then red! The walls where actually red! Now when I made this map of this cave went I had gotten home, I would have to make it in color. Which wasn't the normal way I made maps, because I've made so many that too color them would take far far too long for me too keep up. But this map of this cave would be speical, and I would make this one more important,  so people in the future could think of it more then the others and maybe come here as well. I didn't know how long we had been in here at this point, but it must have been long enough to where our legs started hurting with the kind of ache that begs for rest relentlessly. Mady had really started walking behind me, it was too the point she started getting scard of our farness, and she begged for me too go slower. Agesnt my lesser wants, I bent down, and let her climb onto me on my back, and I carried her through the cave. She was a tall girl, but she was a thin one. Kind of like my sister Becky, but dispite that I could only carry her so long, for about what I could guess ten minitures. Then after I could take no more, I sat Mady on the ground and agesnt the wall of stone, and I fell and sat about three feet aparet from her, breathing to hard to talk back to her. “How can we do this all in a day? We have to go back home Ed.” I didn't say anything back. “My legs hurt so bad, you should have told me we where going on such a long walk.” Then she looked below herself and at the ground she was sitting on. “Ah! It's dirty!” Then quickly she stood up and brushed her dress off and legs, but groaned in pain still. All three flashlights where laid on the ground so they didn't show much, and around us was deep red darkness, so it was hard to see what I was doing but I made sure I left nothing in my pillow bag that was still with me, I felt that the white cowboy hat that I had given Mady was still inside, so I sat it beside me on the ground and nicely flattened the bag to the other side of me and picked up a flashlight and pointed too the bag. “Here... The bag is clean.” She glanced at me with a deer look, like I had kissed her. Then she fixed her dress and sat down, I couldn't see her face but I felt a smile apon her in the air about me. “Thank you.” I nodded, and I hope she could feel me. “But really, what are we going to do Ed? Are we going to go farther or are we going back?” I thought, and thought a little more longer. “This is turning out to be a lot longer of a project then I thought it would be.” Anouther thing, the space around us was getting smaller and smaller, and the air around us was less and less rich and good. It made me being tired even worse, because I couldn't seem to catch my breath, and this scard me if I'm only telling you about it, and don't repet what I just said. Mady made a effort too push her bag over closer too me, so that she could lean agesnt me. It made me feel a way, but I didn't comment on it at all.

Then a darkness came, the cold came and when I looked a ways ahead of myself, my brain had gotten slower too. My eyebrows got closer together and I lifted my head and looked into the darkness of the place we hadn't been there yet. I stared at it so long that Mady turned her head to where I was looking to see what was up, my flash light wasn't pointed at it, but I had a ferm need to not do that. Mady leaned in closer to me and wsipered. “What are you looking at?” Suddenly Mady pointed one of her flashlights at the darkness and my heart droped fully. Quick as a flash I drabbed Mady's hand as she screamed and started running. Leaving behind nothing but the pillow bag and my old white childhood cowboy hat.

Let's say if getting down there took one hour, them getting back up took ten minitues. I known both of those times aren't right, but I'm trying to make you understand how fast we went. I never dared turned my flashlight over behind me, if I did that I would surely die. No one would ever find us there. I could feel my face burn in a ugly look with terrior, and I focused on going ahead of me while gripping Mady's hand. After the fight big long sprint it came to me that Mady couldn't run as fast as me, and what if she was grabbed and pulled away from me forever? So when we got so tired that we could no longer run fast, I made Mady fast walk in front of me, with my back to the evil behind us. Oh that problemed awful Texan cave. That evil cave, let me never touch any of it's tainted red water ever again. Mady started crying her legs hurt so bad, and I had too carry Mady halfway through the cave, but that did slow us down a lot, but she literally could not walk anymore, and so tired all she could do cry. The red walls became gray then blue, dry then wet, and then we saw the water fall door, and the hole around us gotten brighter, but we still where not safe, I let Mady stand next to me now, but she still leaned on me as we went. Still not looking behind me I looked Mady right in the eyes. “Go Mady, quickly please go.” Mady groaned loudly in pain and she started to walk past the water door, when suddenly she fell and screamed. Quickly I popped my head out of the water and I just saw Mady fall into the creek water below, and I jumped into the water after her and the second I got into the water I was worried of drowning, my body felt so stiff I didn't feel like I could move. But the creek wasn't too deep under the waterfall so I grabbed Mady by the wasit and I tried swimming up but I was so hard held down, that I was nearly sure someone's hand was doing it. We stayed under the water so long that my drying air bobbles where coming up too the top, but I pushed through it with my fear, if I wasn't under water I'd be crying in pain, my hole body felt rapped up tightly by a blanket, then finally I was able to make Mady's head reach the serface so she could breath, and under the water I could hear her gasp and cry above. She climbed onto land, and with the weight taken off of me I was able to swim up onto land, I was free like a magic spell. And I fell onto land like a dead fish. But I could not rest long, and finally breaking the reauls and I looked up at the top of the waterfall, and saw nothing. Shyly I moved away from the waterfall as best as I could. Then I looked over to Mady and gasped. Mady's dress was ruined, oh Lord oh Lord save her soul and mine it was broken. She must have hit the rocks when she fell down, because there was a thin pink color all over her light blue dress, and her shoulder still had blood coming from a cut. It was muddy and bloody, but the worst part was the big cut going through the middle and all the way too the bottom. There was no way to fix it now. Mady already known this and was crying lightly. I opened my mouth to speak but she went first. “I know I know!” She cried. “Don't say it I don't want to hear it!” She seemed like she wanted to hug me, but I was also dirty as well. “Oh I can't go home! Not ever again!” I sat up a little better to look at her, I just noticed that around us it was nearly night, we had been in there so long. “Let me help you.” I said, and I stood up painfully, and helped up Mady besides me. “Let's just start walking home, we'll figure out something as we get home.” She agreed, and we started walking slowly.

“Where can I go?” She asked when finally the waterfall and creek where out of sight. “What?” “I can't go home. Ed I just can't.” “Oh. Maybe your right.” She nodded. “Well, I need to go somewhere. Please.” She was right, oh God she was right. One time her dad broke her leg, I known that. No I couldn't let her go home. I wouldn't let that happen to any of the younger kids, even more so the girls. “I'll... I'll think of something, don't worry. I'll come up with somewhere you can go, just give me a second...” Mady leaned in closer to me and shivered. “Huh, maybe I can hide you in the unused barn. You know, that one we used to have meetings at? Would that work?” “I don't know, but-but I do remember that barn yes. It's just so dark, and I'd be alone.” “I'm sorry.” That was all I could think too say then. I was so tired and worn torn I couldn't think of anything too say. “Are you just going to leave me there?!” She cried. “I... I don't think I have a chose Madyson. I have too be home, if I'm not then Deb will wonder, and if you go missing then people will ask me questions. And I don't know how to answer for being gone a hole night Mady.” Right then and there she started crying on me, I more or less had to start dragging her as I walked. I felt a little stiff, and cold too, maybe even hot too I can't be sure. “I'll leave you with the two flashlights you got now, and tommarow morning as soon as I can, I'll bring you stuff to sleep on, and eat and maybe a game or something.” She didn't say anything back, just kept on crying.

By the time we saw the town Mady stopped crying so we'd be quite. The old unsued barn was the second most far away building in town, besides Theo Cox's place near the water tower. The closer we got to the usused barn the more cold and quite she got, and finally when we where at the door she started crying again so suddenly I gasped, and again I felt stiff and shamed. “We're here...” Again she held onto me like I was going too toss her in. “I don't want too go Ed!” She yelled so loud I wanted to cover her mouth so no one could hear it. “I don't know what to do!” I yelled back, and she looked me in the eyes. “I promise you I'll come back as soon as I wake up! I”ll make this place like a little home, just please please I can't take you anywhere else!” Then she cried again, and I had to hold her while she did, in front of the door step. “I promise you I'll come back, I really do.” After that, I opened the front door and a old dustly barn was shown, the only things that where in there was small beds for cows that left and died years ago. At least the hay for the gone cows could be used for Mady now. Then I had to let her go, she didn't want to talk or look at me anymore, so I left, lastly saying sorry. And somehow I known I did something bad.

When I got home, Deb was in the kichen, she asked me, “Oh, Ed, why are you so dirty? You look tired.” “Sorry- I can bath now. Sorry.” She looked at me worried but said nothing more as I left the room. When I got in the bathroom, I saw how red most of my body was, all the way down my legs they where red and brused, and even cut in a few places. But after I bathed they became hard to notice. After I got out I immidetly went to the basement to get some sleep so I could get up early, I told Deb I didn't want any food, and she seemed worried again but said nothing. When I got in the basement Caleb was there, he looked tired and bored laying on he's bed. I think he was reading a letter but I'm not sure, some kind of paper. And to the side of the bed Gdynia laid, he looked up at me when I came in, then laid back down. “Hey Ed.” Caleb said boredly as I climbed into my bed and faced the wall. “Mhh.” Was all I said back, and we left each other alone.

The next morning, I slept a little too long, it was already day break by the time I woke. When I realized how long I was in bed, I immidity raced up the stairs, than panicked again at the top of them. My pillow bag, the one I used for carrying everything for years, was left in the cave. Just thinking about the cave made my long legs shiver, and I decided then that I was erase that place from my mind, maybe even when Mady can somehow go back home, me and the troops can somehow close off the opening too the waterfall, or at least make it look like it's closed off, no one should ever go back into there ever again. Caleb was already out of bed, so I took he's pillow bag, and preyed I'd be back in time so that he wouldn't notice it being missing. Then I got my spare blanket from the closet that I had when I was younger, and headed back upstairs and into the kicten. The sun was out, but it was still very early in the morning. At this time of day normally only Caleb would be up, because Mathew and Deb's jobs are later in the day, but since today was a Sunday Deb had already left for her job, because she worked in a Church and all. Really it probably wouldn't be long till she'd be running that place, it's the only Church in town, and people go there for a lot of reasons. Caleb was cleaning up he's food, he of course had no work, but he always kept a sedula so there he was. Gdynia was looking up at him or more likely he's food, a very hungery very old looking dog. I sat down at the table waiting for him to leave to the living room too read before anyone got up so I could bring some food to Mady, oh stealing on a Sunday, I didn't think of that till now. “Morning.” He said plainly, now sitting on the table to the other side of me. “Yeah, good morning.” I started making myself some cereal then, clearly he was going to be there for a second, and I didn't want him wondering what I was doing. The bag with the blanket in it was by my legs, so hopefully he wouldn't see it or ask about it. “You look better this morning.” He said plainly again, but then looked me over. “But maybe you should put on day cloths before Edith wakes up.” I stoped pooring the milk and shook my head, he was right, apprently I forgot to put on pants and a shirt. “Aw man, I'll be right back.” Then leaving the bag there I ran back downstairs into the basement, fumbled around for any clothes, then finally found some. We wheren't going to Church until later today, people around here actually do it near night believe it or not, cooler that time of day. So anyway I didn't have too worry about putting on nice clothes. My only problem was the hole pants thing, recently I've found my long brown pairs of pants make me look older, which was something I needed (even if my troops didn't like that do too moral reasons) but they made going out hotter. But regardless I put on those pants and a white shirt and ran back up again for a third time, and too my dissapoitnment Caleb was still there waiting for me. “I'm back.” I said, putting up the milk carton then grabbing a spoon and sitting down. “Good, it's not good form to walk around in your underwear.” I nodded. Caleb looked over at me, he's eyes had a droopy look over them. “Ed, I'm gonna go in about half a hour, you tell Mathew and Edith I'll be back before Church you hear?” I cringed a little bit and swollowed. “I got too go out after I get done, can't you leave a note?” Caleb scrated he's head. “I suppose I'll have too then, eh.” Then he started fumbleing around looking for paper and a pen, then wrote down something and left it on the middle of the table. “Guess I'll see you later then, I have to get ready.” I nodded and he left the room with Gdynia, he seemed a little embarassed by something those what I did not know. I finished my food quick as lighting, then not wanting to take much, I stuffed the rest of the ceral box into my bag, those it was only half a bag. Then I grabbed two very old metal pots no one ever used, washed them with water then also put them in my bag. And lastly a spoon fork and one plate. I was hoping the plate would not be missed, but there was a chance Deb would notice it be missing, but I hoped not. Then after saying sorry to God, I left the house quickly and made my way out of town.

I didn't know what I'd see when I got near the little old barn. The closer I got the more plain faced and stiff I got, I didn't know when I got to the door, weather I would knock or just come in, but I decided to knock, and after two times hearing nothing, my heart picked up speed and I just flung the door open, but did catch it before it hit the wall. Looking around it didn't take me long to find Mady. She was asleep on a cow's old bed, just like how I left her. I signed and put my hand to my chest. Then I shut the barn door, and took a nice good look around. The place wasn't very dark, because of all of the cracks in the walls and floors. Lord knows if there was any food here at all, it would be over run with mice. The color now in the daytime was a plain light brown, with streaks of red here and there, a show of better days before my time. Near in the very back there was random farm suplies, really just any kind of random thing. Gentally I sat the bag too the door, and walked over to the sleeping girl. I thought for a momemt with my hands on my knees, then finally I lightly nugged her shoulder. “Mady, hey Mady. It's me.” She made a grumbing sound but moved little. “Mady, it's me Ed, it's morning.” She turned slowly, moved a lot of hay around herself as she did, and when she met my eyes she rubbed them and then looked up again. “Ah, Ed? Oh.” Mady sat up a little bit and looked around herself. “Oh...” She started on a sad look, when I saw it I looked around and my eyes met the bag agesnt the door. “Hey, hey wait look what I got.” She stayed there as I got up, picked up the bag and came back over to where she was. “Look what I have for you.” She watched me blankly as I pulled out a blanket for her, the ceral and the spoon fork pot and plate. “I didn't bring a pillow, because you have the hay.” She didn't seem much turned either way from the stuff I brought, she opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her for she went on. “I know, there's no water. And of course you'll need water somewhere hot, but you remember right, that my brother Caleb taught me how to make fire? I know I haven't used it in a while, but here's a plan right.” Then I picked up the pot and handed it over to her as she placed it on her lap. “I'll go out and get water from the creek, away from the waterfall, then I'll boil it too make it safe too drink, and then you can have water too drink for a few days.” Mady but looked blankely at me, and didn't respond to that. “I was thinking last night.” She started. “I can't go home, it wouldn't be safe with this.” She gesutred at her still ruined dress. “And by now my family surely knows I'm gone, so I had this idea, but I need your help doing it Ed.” I nodded and leaned closer to her. “If I was gone for a week, then maybe my father would miss me and forgive me for ruining my clothes, and he wouldn't hurt me.” I smiled but then dropped it right after gaining it. “I like that plan, but what do I tell everyone else?” She looked confused. “Everyone else? You mean the troops? Nothing, you can't tell them anything Ed.” “Oh, I see.” Then I rubbed my chin. “Well, what about Aidyn and Luis? They'll worry for you bad, and I don't know if I can lie to Aidyn like that.” Her face got tight and she leaned in close. “You can't tell anyone! I'll only be gone a week, then I'll come back and things can go back too normal.” I signed and rubbed the back of my head, moving away from her. Her voice was stern, and I was reminded she was only two years younger then me. “Can't you stay missing for just a day? I didn't bring enough stuff for you to say here a week.” I said. “That's why I need you, I can't get food myself, and I don't know how to make a fire.” “Yeah, right but a week?” “Yes, a week Ed. I need him to miss me, at least a little.” I shook my head at her, and she said back grimly. “Remember the last time I ruined a dress?” I did, I tried not too most of the time. Really I had seen bad brushes and marks on all of the Hall kids, but them being on a girl made it all the more worse. “And my dress is a lot more ruined now then it was then.” I nodded, and gave her a sorry look. “I need a week, because if I'm only gone a day then he may get mad at me for going missing at all, but if he gets the idea I may not come home he'll want me home, maybe, I don't know.” I nodded but kept my eyes away from her, something about what she said made me move away from her again and hold my knees closer together. “Fine, but you don't have enough food too last you over a day. I'll have to find some more today. And I'll have to make more then one trip too the creek to get water and come back here too boil it. And that could take a hour or more.” She nodded. “Thank you.” Mady made too hug me, but moved back in the last second. “What I mean is, you'll be alone a lot, and bored. And you can't leave the area around this barn.” “I know.” “Uh, I'll find you something too do while your here. I was going to bring you some kind of game this morning, but I forgot.” Then I stood up and streacked, she still just sat there and watched me. “Well, I guess I'll make my first trip too the creek, you can try and wake up and get ready while I do that.” I picked up the pot from her lap, then walked over too the door. “I'll be back soon, don't worry.” She said nothing as I shut the barn door behind myself and started on my way walking. 

I took three trips too the creek and back to the barn. Which may have taken about a hour and a half going there three times and coming back. Thankfully I never saw the waterfall as I did. But still thinking of leaving Mady in a barn just a little while away from that waterfall made me feel dark, and maybe gross inside. The idea that I got too sleep in a bed safe in my house, and she had to sleep in a old barn closer to that waterfall then me made me mad at myself, how could I do that too a girl? Every time I got back to the barn Mady was doing something different. The first time she was mostly asleep again, and I didn't want to bother her. I came too the problem of where I would keep the water after I got it. Then I looked through the random farm tools in the back of the small barn, which did end of waking up Mady, but I did end up finding a old dustly large watercan, or milk stoob maybe? I'm not sure what it was, but it was about two feet tall, and was more then enough space then I needed. I clean the thing out as best as I could with my hands, I didn't think it was very clean by the time I was done, but it was the best I could do, I promised myself if she had to drink out of this I would give her the best foods I could find, and my lunch for school every single day. She didn't diserve to drink out of that old piece of garbage, but it was the best that I could do for her now. Then I sat the thing up carefully agesnt the wall, it stood upright on it's own just fine, and I filled it up with the water I had gotten from my pot that trip then went on back out again. On the second trip back I was started to get tired because of how hot it was outside. Mady was seemingly trying to fix her hair with her hands when I came. She actually tried cleaning up her dress a little but didn't have great luck in doing that, it still had the pink spots of blood on it, and the wond where it came from I could not see anywhere on her, and I was too shy too ask about it. But don't tell anyone that ok? Then I poored the water in the milk can and went out again. By the time I came back the third and final time the sun was at it's peak power and I could not go a anouther time. When I got there again Mady was laying around very bored looking, she smiled when I came in. “Hey Ed. You don't look great.” I nodded, walked too the back of the barn where the milk can was and poored the last of the water in, and walked over to where Mady was and laid on the hay next to her, sweating like a pig. “I don't think I need anymore water for today Ed, your over working yourself.” I gasped a few times before saying dryly. “I'm just resting, you need more water too wash your hair and face and too drink. I will work harder, I promise.” She shook her head. “No Ed, I can wash my hair and face in the creek, we should save that water you got too drink, I can drink that water for two days Ed. You rest.” I wanted to say something protesting back, but I just didn't feel like doing it, far too much work. “Don't be in too much of a rush today, it's a Sunday.” I nodded. “After you boil the water, I'll have enough for a day, the only thing I really need more of is food. But you can get that tomarow. No need to kill yourself over that.” I didn't have anything to say back too that. For a while, I'd say a good 20 minites we'd laid there, me ruffing and nearly falling asleep a few times, trying to cool down but failing somewhat. And Mady watching me do so, not speaking much. Here and there she'd give me a tip on how to lie about what I was doing coming too her every day, and all I could do was nod and agree with her, and never really known how to disagree with what she was saying. Any time I almost fell alseep Mady would sat me on the shoulder and say something nice too me about it not being a good time too sleep. At a point my body got tired of laying the way I was, and I desiced just too bite the bullet and get up. Mady seemed ready too get up too, and I grabbed the milk can full of water, and we made our way outside, not too far away from the front of the barn. The sun wasn't so bad when your not doing any physical work. Mady leaned up agesnt the barn and watched me work, I said this and that while handed the water can over too her. “I need to go and find some wood, for he fire.” “Why do we need a fire Ed?” “Because.” I said as I wipped my head and glanced up at the sky. “Too make the water clean to drink, and it'd be better to wash your hair in too.” “Oh.” There wasn't many trees around the area, so it wasn't like there was sticks just laying around anywhere like Abe said it was like in Pennsylvania. I had to walk a good bit till I found a good amout of sticks. But at least they where dry enough, oh gosh they where dry enough. I never got far away enough to where Mady couldn't see me, so she lazzly watched me the hole time, I swear she was asleep a part of the time. When I got back I started trying and fauleing too make the fire, she watched me as I worked. “I think I'll have too go after I get done with the water Mady, don't know the time but it's getting later, and I'm sure the other troops are wondering where I am, and I have too get home before Church.” Mady looked at my face, and signed a little, but said nothing. “Tomarrow after school I'll come right back here, and I'll save my lunch and give it too you, I know you don't have enough food till then, so maybe I can run back here after Church, but it will be dark by then so you may be asleep. You hear me?” She nodded. “Good, right. Uh, right.” Because I had nothing to hold the water over the fire with after I finally made it, I had too use my own hands. At that point the water can had gotten heavy, so holding close enough to a fire too where it could get hot but far away enough to where my hands at the top wouldn't get burnt was hard. Mady looked weirdly sorry about something, but what it was I did not know. “You can't really read anything good right? I know Aidyn reads good but what about you?” I asked, my voice showing a little strain in what my body was doing. “I can't read much. Well, maybe it's more that there's nothing good to read.” “Ah, I agree. Books are normally about boring things. Man I wish I could bring you too a movie thetor! But since I can't, maybe I can find you some books too take up your time?” Mady shook her head. “I don't need any of that.” I nodded, but I told myself that I would make a effort too find her some books once I could get any that wouldn't be missed for a while. “Ok, is there anything else that you want? For boredmon I mean.” Mady thought for a moment, then said. “Some paper and a pencil. Maybe a pencil sharpener if you can find any.” “Oh, ok. Not sure if I can find a pencil sharpener, but I do own a knife! And I can give you that. I know you know how too use one.” Then she just nodded and looked at her feet.

By the time I could hear the water boiling inside, my arms where hurting from holding it up so long, and my hands where aching from the heat of the water so close too it. Seeing as Mady was of course thersy given she hadn't drank anything all day, I poored a little bit of water into the pot and handed it too her, because that was the only kind of cup we had there. We both actually drank out of the pot, and by the end of it the water can was half empty from where it used to be, but I was ready for that. Afterwards Mady ate half of the cerical I gave her this morning, but even though she hadn't eaten all day she still didn't eat much, and at a point she didn't talk much anymore or look me in the eyes. Then the sky started too look more purple then blue, and then I known I was late. I quickly got up out of the barn and promised Mady on my dead parents's souls that's I'd come just as soon as I could, and that I'd bring her back something good. She just noded as I left, the only thing I brought back with me as I walked home was Caleb's pillow bag.

When I was walking home, I seen a lot of women close by near their homes, talking in low voice too each other. People didn't quite seem as friendly as I thought they would be. Which was weird because everyone got nicer around summer break. It was summer break yet, that happened at the start of July. And though most people in town wheren't well off enough too go any farther then a small Florida beach, the air still made people look forward too it, like how even if you don't enjoy Christmas yourself, seeing others enjoy it makes you happy they enjoy it, that is unless your a Scruge. I never went anywhere for summer break, sure Mathew had the money, and so did Abe now, but none of us ever really seemed like we ever wanted too go anywhere. Me and my siblings had had our long trip, even though I can't remember it well. But like the last few years, Abe was going too come home for a the first week of July, which I for one was glad. Now the thing that had everyone on edge about that was Abe had already been told though letter that Becky was married, not by herself but Deb told him. And he never said what he thought about that. And Becky had already told us though the phone that her husband was taking two weeks off work too come and speak he's break with us, all as a family. For once Deb didn't seem too pleased with the 'all as a family' mindset anymore. But what this would mean is that this would be the first time Abe meets this husband of Becky's. And Abe wasn't anyways a easy person to please, if ever anymore. So that left everyone on edge, probably himself too. But we still had a few weeks till then, so (before this horrible bussness I've found myself in came up.) we would have a few weeks of calm before the maybe storm. When I got home it seemed everyone was already getting ready for Church. Deb was of course the only one fully ready. She wore plain clothes but always fixed her short hair up nicely, she was the panio player while everyone singed, and she thought her job a very important one. Caleb was mindlessly finsishing some kind of plain food while trying to listen too what the three other people in the living room where talking about. Mathew Edith and Deb where all descusing the war effort, that one that didn't seem too imprtant a few years ago too me but was now a point of debate. Really it was all boring adult talk, so quickly I went into the basement, put back Caleb's pillow, and took a quick shower. Really it was a good thing Deb was talking too Mathew and Edith, because if not then she would have surely got onto me about how dirty I was, but she did that a lot of the times. After I got out of the shower I grabbed my best Church clothes, my new ones actually. See when we all got here we didn't have much clothes too go around, and Mathew didn't know how to buy clothes for children. So we wheren't dressed well for a long time, which I often heard got Caleb picked on at school, which is probably why so many young men around here just nod at Caleb, because most men here Caleb's age probably got their asses kicked by him at some point. But the one time Mathew wanted us too look our best was Sunday, so we all had one pair, and the pair was I was wearing now used too be Abe's when he first got here. And though I was happy to be finally able to wear this, it was also a little... uh, embarassing. Because though it nearly fit me like a glove, this was Abe's when he was 13 and 14, and I'm 16. And even now I had feel a lot of lossness in the arms and front of the suit. So I always pulled it close too me when wearing it. I really did seem too be smaller then Abe and Caleb, thinner too like Becky. But Becky looked thin in a pretty way, I just looked weak in some parts of my body and stronger in others, like my legs. I didn't feel very well put together, like God had made some kind of mix up in me. The fact that all my other siblings had black or bloude hair each, two for two, and I had straght up orange hair now really showed how different I looked.  After that I came dowstairs, the same coversaion was still going on, I'll be it only Mathew and Deb where having it now, Deb looked a little red as she spook. Edith who was in the kicten just got done feeding Gdynia and apprently was speaking too Caleb, she was already ready and was seemingly waiting on the talk in the living room too be over. “Oh, I haven't seen you around Ed. But at least your ready.” She said in a more uptight way, then went back to her work. Edith was a strange woman. Her and Mathew where born in Poland, but moved too America when they where both teenagers. They didn't come too Mell-Tunnle first, but settled down here in their mid twentys. While Mathew had learned to speak with a near perfect American voice, he learned this was people would be more wiling to trust him in work. Edith didn't care too hide where she came from in her voice. Anouther weird thing about her, was her tone of voice and what it meant too her. See not only did she speak with a little acesnt, she often sounded posh too. But she lived like everyone else here, didn't think of herself any more highly then anyone else would, and her husband and her where only a little above the middle class, and they lived just the same as everyone else did. Even weirder is that- though nirther of them ever speak very openly about it, they both grown up orpains in Poland, and from what I've gathered, that isn't a very high class place too be at. So where ever she got the posh sounding voice, your guess is just as good as mine's! Edith then leaned agesnt the counter and looked at me like she known something I didn't want her too. “Let me guess.” She said too me, as if she was about to say the funnest joke. “You've been around that Orr girl today, the youngest one, what's her name again?” I cringed, and glanced over at Caleb who also just got stiff. “If your talking about Abbie, then no. I hadn't seen her all day.” Caleb quickly started cleaning up he's food, he was worried I'd bring up Abbie's sisters, because more then once I've seen Caleb hang around her sisters, and for some reason that's concisidered bad too be around them. “Ah.” Edith signed. “Well maybe not today, but I've seen you walk out of here with her before.” I waved my hand at her, playing off her subipisions of me. “Abbie is a friend, and I don't see any of the kids in my group like that.” Then I said in a younger voice. “And she's 11! She's like a baby too me.” Edith shook her head. “You talking about that army thing you used to go on about? Son your too old for that sort of thing.” “No I'm not! It's not like I actually think we're in a army! It's just a saying now.” “Then stop saying it, Ed your too old for that.” “Leave him be.” Caleb suddenly said, with he's normal vigure back. Edith signed and the matter was dropped. Soon in a second Deb came in, her hand too her left breast like someone had just said something shocking. “We should get going.” Dispte her face being red, she said in a happy voice. Mathew came in soon after, Caleb petted Gdynia before we went out the door, and off we where into the car and on the road.

Back when all of us lived here, getting seven people into a car was near impossible. In fact, at a point when driving too Church sometimes Abe and Caleb would just walk there while everyone else driven their. The distance wasn't great but Mathew and Edith where right next too their 60s, and their life hadn't been easy early on so it showed on them well, so they didn't like too walk if they didn't have too. With just five of us in their now it was a lot easyer. In the past when I was little I used to have too sit on Abe's lap for space, but I imagine if I did that now people would probably ask a few questions. Three people in the back was easyer alrightly. Being in the back of a car made me feel like a kid again, and thinking of kids in the back I immiditly looked up and said out loud. “Hey, with Becky being married, maybe we'll have a kid in the back of the car again.” Deb scoffed and shook her head, while Mathew laughed. “Maybe, maybe.” He said wistfully as he turned a corner on the road. “When she does have a baby, and I'm sure it won't be long,” Deb started, her voice oddly rude and old womanish or her, the last part of what she said there the tone was so hateful Caleb had to look at her. “That baby won't be in this car, it'll be in that shabby topless yellow car.” That shabby topless yellow car she was talking about was the car Becky and her new husband came in on. “Becky is a married woman now, she's 24, it's about time.” Mathew said sturnly at the front. Deb just shook her head. “Becky is recklass, and she had no right running off like that.” “You've never been in love, so what would you know about what she did and did not have a right to do?” Mathew said back even ruder. And the two went on bickering about if Becky did the right thing or not. It was a little weird seeing Deb speak so poorly of Becky, she used to think quite highly of her. And it was weird seeing a old defend love so fersey. The hole fight I looked out the window too my other side of the fight, and Caleb literally being in the middle of the car just kept he's head low, every now and then he'd look over at me like this was WW2 Japaness war tourcer too him. I was ready to get on my hands and knees when we finally got too the Church yard. The fight ended and the sour topic of Becky was dropped. It was about the same Sunday as every other at Church. People talked a lot though about nothing intresting. We can at the normal time so we had about 10 or so mintures till the actually thing started and the bell was ringed. Because this was the only Church in town it was always packed, in fact it was so packed on Christmas and Easter that we had too keep the front door open at all times so people who got left outside could hear what was going on. all five of us went off into our own groups, Mathew and Edith went too see a old friend in town, Theo Cox, supossidly the only man in town that liked the couple when they first got here. Deb went too do some work before things got started, she was now at the front with the preast talking to him. Caleb didn't go anywhere himself but was dragged by a few boys that where a little younger then him too the back of the Church outside, whatever those kids where up too I had no idea, but they seemed to enjoy bothering poor Caleb, who didn't look happy being taken away. And of course, I had too see my troops. They normally waited for me at a very sposific spot. It was the second pew to the front, and to the left side facing the wall. But too my worry, three of them where gone. I known where one of them was of course, but the two boys where gone. The second the three remaining, Kylie Sara and Abbie looked over at me, I known that was what we where going to be talking about. I saw down besides them to the right, and they all watched me like dogs ready for the hunt, mainly Kylie. “Hey you three, where are the Halls?” I asked weakly. “I have no idea!” Kylie yelled. “I'm worried about them.” Abbie started. “Yesterday I went over too your house Ed, to ask you a question, and when your brother told me you where gone for the day I thought you had went out with Aidyn somewhere. Did you see any of them yesterday Ed?” I shook my head no. “Huh.” Kylie thought, putting her hand too her face. “Must be a family problem then.” Sara leaned in close and wispered just to the rest of us. “Maybe her old man finally died.” Abbie gasped and put her hand too her mouth, Kylie just looked shocked, and I gave Sara a 'bit quite' face and she stopped. All of us shared the same thought of Mr Hall, most people in town did. Some of us where just more open about what we thought then others. I'm sure that when Mr Hall dies the only living beings that will come to he's funeral is Miss Hall and the worms that will pick at he's bones. “We'll see them at school anyway.” Kylie waved her hand away at this problem. “It's not like there was anything good planned to do anyway.” I felt insulted by that comment, because I was the one that planned. But I kept that feeling too myself. “So.” Sara started. “What do you have planned this summer Ed?” It was too note the only one that seemed like they wanted to hear what I had to say was her, I known Aidyn would though, you just can't trust a woman to care about anything I suppose. “Actually, I do have something planned.” I said, I tried not too have a grim tone of voice but how good I was at that was up too the three girls too say. “You know that cave under the waterfall? You know the creek one?” Kylie and Sara nodded, but Abbie just looked at me dumbly like she didn't hear a word I said. “Well I was in there last Saturday, and there's nothing in there, so I want too block it off this summer.” They looked among themselves then back too me. “Why? That sounds like a waste of our summer.” Sara said. “And it sounds hard too!” Cried Abbie. I waved my hand away at them. “If we do it the right way, it shouldn't take more then two weeks at best. Next time I see... Aidyn, we'll talk it out with him.” Kylie shook her head and laughed, in a way that made my brows furrow and my face redden slightly. “Maybe you and the boys can, but I got better things planned this summer.” I crossed my arm, and tried to give her the look I would have when she was younger. “Oh yeah? What things?” “Things you wouldn't care for.” “Fine, do what you please Kylie, but enjoy doing it without me.” And with that I sat up from where I was at then walked off. I could hear a light fight between the three behind me as I went, and soon Sara started following me and left Kylie and Abbie behind. Quickly I found the farest pew away from other people, which wasn't saying much, and sat down with my legs spread far apart and my arms crossed. Sara sat next to me with one hand on either side of her face. “I'm sorry Ed.” She looked at me but I didn't keep eye contact long. “I think you should kick her out.” She leaned in close and wispered too me. Every time that thought came to me, or Sara and or Aidyn suggested it, I cringed inside. That did seem like the right thing to do, not just for my own pride but more so's Aidyn's and Luis's. Kylie bothered them a lot more then she bothers me, she seems to have this big problem with boys as a hole. “No no Sara.” I wispered back too her. “If I kick her out, then Abbie will surely follow. And then, inculding me, they'll be just five of us.” Sara shrugged. “Better five strong then seven weak.” I nodded, but said nothing back. “I don't know Ed, but I think whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen this summer I say!” She seemed to know what she thought she known. And I agreed with her on that. It was becoming more and more clear Kylie wasn't enjoying our games anymore, and it'd be a better show to kick her out then waiting for her too go. But still, either way it just seemed like a end too something great that I had build up. And Kylie had to be the one too take it down so suddenly too. She used to love what I made up. And the places we'd go and things we'd do. Now suddenly she just didn't. Maybe she just thought she was better then us because her father is the town's preacher. It seemed my Rome wasn't build in a day, but it can be distroyied in one.

We where just near starting, when the most shocking, and most horrible sight came too my eyes. Suddenly everyone at the front of the Church went quite, and when everyone else looked too see why they stopped talking, they all went quite too. And me and Sara's mouths dropped when we saw it too. It was the hole Hall clan but the girl I stole away, walking through the Church. Mr Hall, the red horned man himself was at the front, he said something to he's sons then walked on up too the front with he's wife. A almost scard looking Mr Rivers, the preacher, started a talk with him, both of them looking grim but maybe for difrent reasons. Aidyn and Luis looked lost standing in the middle of the Church, everyone looking at them like they where naked. So standing up I told Sara too stay, and I got out of my row and walked over too the brothers. Aidyn's short hair was messier then normal, and so was Luis's. Aidyn looked hurt and tired. And Luis just looked lost, and maybe tired too. I tapped Aidyn on the shoulder, and liked they both sharmed a body they both looked up at me. Aidyn smiled wide with still worried eyebrows, for a second I'd thought he'd hug me, then he reframed from doing so. “Follow me,” I said lightly, and quitely they did follow me back to where Sara was still at. Kylie and Abbie saw this, and followed quickly after, till we where soon all at one pew together. “Where's Madyson Aidyn?” Kylie asked, her face pale. Aidyn just shook he's head, then put he's hand too he's mouth. Me and Kylie took a glance at each other, suddenly I forgot what I was mad at her for. Luis leaned in close too Aidyn, and our attension was suddenly ripped too the front of the Church where the preacher started, Mr and Miss Hall behind him, nodding. “I have something important too say.” The preacher started, and everyone listened. “Madyson Hall has gone missing. She hasn't been seen since yesterday morning.” Quickly the noise pot of this building was sturred up with talking and chatting. The preacher went on to say details of her going missing, and how she went to answer the door, and never came back. And how no one looked for her until it was night. And how the very next morning mr Hall would be starting a search by himself and he's boys, and- mr Hall did this part by himself, took off he's hat and said. “Now, you all know I hadn't ever asked any of ye for anything. But now I do. Please help me find my daugther.” Why, asked anyone for anything?! He'd never he spoke much too anyone let alone asked! Everyone was so moved by this one way or anouther, woman cried men planned and children sat back and worried they weren't safe next to their mothers. Everyone went on making ideas on where could have gone, and soon this building went from a house of God and into a police stasion, and I was the criminal. I sat back into my seat, keeping my eyes too my folded hands, thinking on ways I could lie when they asked when, which they did later that night. “What are we going to do Ed?” For the first time in a long time, Kylie looked at me and asked honestly. “We'll, well just have to wait and see.” I said like a old dog.

It was quite busy the next day. A lot of men went off work just too get into the search. I was course wasn't able to go running off into the night that Sunday, and I wasn't allowed too play around that day after school on Monday either. I was weirdly both worried and hoping they'd find Mady in that old barn. I was almost   sure they'd have too look in there. I mean, no one cared at all about the barn, and surely it was out of people's minds. But if someone was walking around and saw the barn, they'd look in it if they where part of the search party. I remember when I eating dinner, Caleb came in after work at the bank, changed clothes and went out near dark with a flashlight, he didn't even talk to any of us, we just know where he was going. After that Mathew came back, he had been looking most of the day, and now was dead tired. When I was told to go to bed that night, things where so busy up there I couldn't sneak out to go to her, and that meant she didn't eat today, and wouldn't eat till tommarow night. I felt so bad about this I woke up real early, early enough to where I couldn't eat breakfast, I didn't desver it, starving Mady like a dog. I still had my uneaten lunch from yesterday and my lunch for today, I stuff them in the same lunch carrier and ran off as quick as I could, trying to not be seen by anyone in town as I went. It wasn't even light out yet, though it wasn't quite dark either. It felt like it took my a lifetime to get too the old barn, and I known I wasn't going to get too school on perfect time. When I was finally up to the barn, I flung the flimsy wooden door open so hard that it banged agesnt the wall to the right side. A little figure at the front of the barn lifted upright, and I saw it was a very disorianted Mady. Her tired eyes met me, she looked scard, then went back too tired. “Ed, you didn't come last night.” She said plainly, and in such a weak way I walked over to her in strides and quickly started laying out my food in front of her, then after my lunch box was empty I shut it. “I couldn't get out at all Mady! Everyone in town is looking for you.” She glanced up, whatever the face meant I could not read it, and looked back down at the food and weakly started eating it already. “Please tell me your only staying here a week Mady.” She didn't say anything back but she nodded. After a moment I added. “Family seemed broken up about you. Aidyn hardly talked at all yesterday.” She nodded, while finishing a apple. “But, I have to get too school right now, or I'll be late. It's a long walk, going the way that will make less people see me, you know.” She looked up, swollowed and said. “Ok, thank you.” I nodded, and left for school.

I got too school too late, so I got my hands wipped for that. Overall the hole day went badly. None of the troops talked too me, Aidyn and Luis wheren't there. And kids my age never really talked to me so it was a lonely day, that was till after school, I ran home as quick as my legs could take me, and going inside luckly Mathew as asleep and Edith was out shoping so it was easy to grab Caleb's pillow, and I put in three apples, one old bored game I don't play anymore, and two books that where for 10 year olds so hopefully she could read it. Then again I ran back out, all the way though town with what I had, and then I finally found the old barn. When I got there Mady seemed like she was waiting for me, she stood up the second I walked in. It seemed like almost all the food I gave her was gone now, wish I had brought more then apples. That day after showing her everything I got, I ran to the creek and back four times, but it wasn't hot then so it went much faster then the last time. Then made a fire and boiled the water. Actually burnt my hands bad enough to where the skin around my fingers and palms where white from all the dead tissue. After that we talked as long as she could, she actually feel asleep while we where talking in the barn, so that was when I decsied to leave. When I got home everyone seemed so busy that they missed me, besides Deb finding me right before I went to bed, and she said that I needed to have dinner before getting to sleep. But I said I already did and she leaved it alone. 

The next eight days when by both as fast as lighting and as slow as a snail. Every morning I got up early, grabbed what would have been my breakfast and hide it away in my lunch box along with my real lunch, maybe ate a apple along the way if I could remember it, and run all the way too the barn, I'd meet up with Mady, give her what I had of food, we'd spead a very short few minitues talking to each other, but then I'd run off back too school. Weather or not I was late just depending on how fast I could run that day, and if the teacher was too lazy too notice me being missing, it seemed I was never strong enough to go very far. I'd spend the day at school, though all of those days Aidyn and Luis never showed up, I saw none of them any of the days outside of school too. And I hate to say this, but I was just so busy all the time that I hardly cared about that. Then came the weekends. Kylie had been planning out what to do on the weekends with me for a while now, allows saying I needed to make a quick check point map for us so when the weekend came we'd remember everywhere too look. At first I didn't care too make this map, because firstly, it'd take me away from time I could be doing work. And two, I already known where she was, but I didn't want anyone letting on too what I known. I told this problem to Mady, she seemed bothered, and said she a quite shy voice looking down that she was getting very loney, and the books couldn't make up for human contact, and that I should spend Saturday with them, and make up a lie to them about some family bussness on Sunday so that I could be with her. I didn't like the lying part, but she exsplained it and I had nothing better to say back, so I did what I was asked too do. That Saturday was very very boring, everyone at home seemed both bothered by that poor missing girl, by the first week of summer coming soon, and finally by me, because I think they thought I was always missing because I was looking for my missing friend, and that they felt bad for me. Every time I walked by one of them I got a sorry look, and I had to look sorry back, because I was. The troops all seemed sad, we didn't talk much, and we walked as one instead of me at the front, because for once no one knew what we could do about this other then look, and everyone I town had looked so much. By the time we got back into town, and one by one everyone had to go home, last was Aidyn and Luis, and when Luis ran back inside Aidyn looked over to me with the most seriuse face I'd seen on a 13 year old since Abe was 13, and he said. “Thank you for helping me look today. I know your busy tommarow, but I'll look then too, and it's so nice seeing everyone look for her.” I nodded. “It's the least I could do Aidyn.” “I just know she's ok. I've heard my mom- and people around town come up with some horrible thoughts on what happened too her, and I just know that isn't true, she'll come back to me I know it.” Well, what could I say too that? I nodded again and shook he's hand, and we parted. 

The next day was the day I had to spend with Mady. I of course went early that morning, which was now seemingly how I'd start every day. The only one up then was Deb, and she told me before I ran out not too work too hard, she said it with a sad look so I can plenty guess what she meant, and then I headed out. To my distress, she was in the kitcen so I couldn't steal any food but my own breakfast and a apple. And sure, I imagine having pancakes would be great for Mady, best meal she's had since- well I don't think they have those at her home. But they whern't the most filling or healthy of foods, something I hardly thought of in food till now. To my mild suprise, the barn door was already open when I got there, for a second my heart was beated horriblely, as I thought of the waterfall cave, but as soon as I turned the corner I saw Mady inside, seemingly fixing all of the old cow beds to look nicer then they where now. I staighted up my pose and said. “Hey Mady.” She must have not heard me, because she let out a little sqeek of suprise. “Ed!” She yelled, half annoyed half joyful. “Don't scare me like that!” “Well I wasn't trying to scare you any.” I laughed back as I came inside. She looked like she was going to hug me but reframed from it. “Well ah, I don't have much for you, just a little bit of food, my breakfast and a apple.” I showed her the things, then sat them on the ground. The light coming from outside was hitting me on the back, but the inside of the barn was very cold, making one part of my body warm and the other cold. I couldn't blame Mady for wanting to leave the door open to get some warmer air inside. “So! When is Madyson Hall making her sudden apperance back home?” I asked, with a anouther laugh. Mady looked confused, and then her smile fell. “Oh, it's been a week hasn't it.” I nodded, trying to keep my good Sunday face on. “Sure is, now how are you going to do it? Or what are you going to say, you ahh... Well not to be rude, but you haven't bathed in over a week, and your still wearing that bad dress, so I'd just say you got lost is all. I don't know, maybe I found you or something?” She fiddled her hands together, and stepped back a little bit, but I only stepped closer a few more myself. “That does sound like a good plan...” She said meakly. “Yeah, so when do we go? I say I take you too your house first, I think that's where I would take you if this really happened anyway.” She looked up at me concerned like, and said in a ferm voice. “Ed, I don't want to go home.” My smile dropped, and I put my hands in my pockets. “Uh... Why?” “Because, no one hurts me here.” “Oh, Mady your brothers, your mom, heck even your dad missies you, it's been over a week since you went missing. Everyone's on edge about it. Please don't make them worry any longer.” Mady looked at me like I had just slapped her in the face. “My dad doesn't miss me. And Aidyn and Luis can get by with out me for now.” I cringed, and started rubbing my legs with my hands. “Mady, it wouldn't be right. And staying in here alone all day can't be good for you-” “And getting hit everyday is good for me?” I cringed again, moved my hands to my sides and kept my eyes away from her. “No, but this isn't right.” “I like it here, and if they wanted me they should have acted like it while I was there!” She got too close too my face, and I had to move away from her a little bit, coming closer to the sun. “I can't go along with this Mady. This is wrong.” “So what? Your going to bring me back to him? You know what he'll do to me if I come back like this? Lord I'll never walk again!” The very thought alone of that happening made me shiver myself, and I wasn't even the one in danger. No, no I couldn't do that too her, but how could I do this too Aidyn and Luis too? They loved her. There had to be a inbetween. “Ok, ok...” I started, putting my hands in the air. “how about you stay here until a month go's by. Then they'll probably think your... uh, dead. And when you come back, they'll have to want you back by then.” She thought for a moment, then turned back too me and nodded. “Ok, I'll do that then. Will you still help me out?” All I could do was nod once, I had no way too say no, or say anything I was thinking for that matter. “Oh thank you Ed!” Then she cross the barrier between us and wrapped her arms around my waist. It made me feel kind of small actually, even though I was still taller then her. I couldn't bring myself to hug her back, so I just patted her on the shoulder a few times. “You'll see Ed, it'll be fine I promise.” I nodded agesnt her then said. “We'll need to do some things diffrently though.” She looked up at me and I let go. “You can't keep eating so little, and to be frank, your dirty. I'll need to start bringing you more then breakfast lunch and a apple. And if your staying here a month, you can't keep wearing that same dress. Tommarow I'll bring you back a dress from the attic in my house, one of my sisters's old dresses. As for batheing well...” I rubbed the back of my head. “I could just bathe in the creek.” She suggested. That made think back to some of the stories my siblings told me, a few about having to bathe in the creek in the woods, some really pretty creek. “No, you can't.” I said fermly. “Why not?” “Because, someone could see you out there.” “Then I'll do it near the waterfall, hardly anyone ever go's there. I bet no one has seen it since we've been there.” “No way Mady! I'm not letting you anywhere near that waterfall! It's not safe to go there alone.” “Well then you can come, you can just not look.” What she said shook me so badly I had to cover my face with one of my hands. “Oh don't be like that Ed, if you just don't look you'll be fine! You and me, and all the other troops used to swim in the creek every summer, it's not like you haven't seen me before.” “No. That was a long time ago. You'll just have to have a sponge bath here. It won't be as good, but it will work.” She shrugged. “Fine, but it's just more work for you.” After that she started eating the little bit of food that I got for her. It really came to me then what I had to do, I food I was giving her now just wasn't enough. And I just couldn't bring myself to keep stealing apples from my family. And she couldn't live off my lunch. It was then I decided to quit school and get a small job. I couldn't care what Deb would think of that, Caleb quite school at 16 for work so I known he'd understand. But I couldn't tell Mady, she didn't need to worry about that. After a month I could go back, if they would let me anyway. I spent the rest of the day gathering water for Mady, halfway though I had to wait outside for quite a while as Mady had a sponge bath. We talked though the thin wooden door while she did so. But when she was done she had to put on the very same dirty dress again so it did felt a little pointless even if her fluffy hair did look better now. Her and me actually walked out and gathered water together for a while. She got tired real quickly though, and so we couldn't make that many trips, but it was nice while it lasted. Before the day ended, and stood near the doorway as it was now night out, and said. “Are you sure you don't want to come home? If you don't come home now, then it will have too be a month?” She sat on the cow bed nearest too the door, her hands in her lap. “Why will it have to be?” The reason was I was quiting school as soon as I can find a job, and by quiting I mean just not showing up. “Just trust me. Do you want to come with me?” The second I finished what I said she shook her head. “No. Goodnight Ed.” I nodded. “Ok, if that's what you want. Goodnight Mady.” “I wish you could stay. It's sad waking up alone in a old barn.” For some reason what she said made me embarassed somewhat, so I turned my head and shook it. “I have too go.” She nodded, and then I left.

I got back late that night, I felt tired in nearly every way. It wasn't late enough however that everyone was asleep. In fact they where all waiting for me. All of them where talking in the living room when I got there, when I shut the door Deb sprinted into the room, she was wearing her Church clothes and I relized what I did wrong. “Oh Ed! Where on earth wear you today?” She made her way over to me and hugged me, I moved away from her. “Oh, I'm so sorry I missed Church Deb.” Deb shook her head. “You can't keep looking for her Ed all day long, it's not good for you.” She tried to hug me again but I moved away. “Well I'm not going to anymore.” I said as I walked into the kicten. “Ah! I was getting worried for you Ed!” Mathew said to me. Edith sat next to her husband with their chairs beside each other. Edith just shook her head at me but said nothing. Caleb was leaning agenst the wall. He like Edith just shook he's head at Ed. “Please don't do that again to us! What if you went missing too?” Deb said to me. I didn't have anything to say to her, so I just started walking up to the bathroom, and left everyone there downstairs too talk about how messed up I am by themselves. Going as quick as I could I took a shower, put on my night clothes then went too bed. I laid there boredly for a long time doing nothing. I had a want to read something, but what I would read I did not know, and I did not feel healthy enough to do it. After a while Caleb came in, he looked tired too. He had that look of 'we need to have a talk' and he made he's way over to Abe's old bed, and we both laid down quite for a little while. “Hey.” Caleb started. “I know your missing her, but listen, at this rate...” He signed, and rubbed he's face. “Maybe you should try less hard and don't hurt youself, because if she's still around here, you'd be looking for a body, not a girl.” I signed loudly back, and nodded. “I know.” We stayed quite for a moment, and then seeing as this would probably be the only time we'd be alone, I said. “Hey Caleb, I'm quiting school soon. So I can get a job.” I heard Caleb shift a little in he's bed. “Huh... Well good for you.” He ended out talk off akwardly, and after a while we went too sleep.

For a good two weeks I worked too put things back in order best I could. I didn't know how to quit school formally, and I didn't want to have to get Deb's permission so I just didn't show up anymore. When the troops asked me why I wasn't coming to school anymore, and I told them I was job hunting, and that I didn't need school anymore, they looked worried. And I known what I was doing, this was killing my friend group. I known the second we all split apart, I'll be alone, because no one my age likes me. But I was only going to be doing this for a month, then finally things can go back to how they once where. It took me three days to find a job, and of course it wasn't a good one either. And in the end I was hired by Sara's father of all people. Her father worked as a sort of house cleaner, he moved people in or moved people out, did big cleaning jobs, this and that sort of inside house work. And though it was hard work, it payed well. But Mr Hines worked alone, all by himself. And he wasn't getting any younger, it was hard cleaning a house alone in he's mid 50s. And he known me a long time now because of he's daughter, and since he heard I was job hunting when I was walking though town one day he pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to help him in he's work. And of course I said yes. The work took longer then school did of course, the first day we had to repaint some walls, and that involved moving everything out of the living room, and then the next day we had to come back and move everything bad in. I didn't really get payed for the work I did, I known I wasn't. I wouldn't have told anyone in my family what I got payed because I known they'd be mad at it. I got payed every day and not by a week by week basies. I'm not sure if I liked that or not. But that was fine by me, because I was only paying for Mady's food, not rent or more then one person. I couldn't get Mady great food, the best food I could get her was my lunch every day Deb still gave me even after leaving school. We had a old unused can opener and I took and gave it too Mady, so I could buy her can foods. I tried to teach her how to make a fire, but it seems impossible so unless she wanted it cold she'd have to wait till I got out of work. I still got home real late like before, but now everyone at home just thought it was my work. I had to get up very early every morning, and I went to bed late every night. A few times I fell asleep in the barn with Mady, she'd have to wake me up so I could get home at a good time. On Sunday's it was a little more easy, I didn't get Saturdays off because Mr Hines didn't take Saturdays off. On Sundays I just stayed by Mady, her loneyless worried me, she never seemed lonely until I had to leave, and then she would beg for me too stay, but I could only stay so long all the time. She didn't know why I had to stay away more often, but I think she had a idea of why because more food was coming to her. Every now and then we'd walk out too the creek, and sometimes even through and past the creek. It was good for her health to get out of that dusty old barn. One day I found one of Becky's old dresses in the attic that was too small for her to wear now, a long red one with white dots.  When I gave it too Mady she nearly cried and hugged me. It was a little too long on her, but it fit around her body well and she liked it a lot. It looked a lot nicer on her then that dirty dress she wore before. Overall she was being good to me, the work though hard and a little unfare, got Mady enough food along with my lunch and breakfast to keep her going, the family was doing fine (for now) and really the only sour part of life right now was how the troops and me where spending less and less time together. 

Then summer started, I was almost happy till I remembered that one, I wasn't in school anymore, and my daily work would just get more louded probably, oh well. And two, that meant that Abe and Becky where coming home, and that no good husband of Becky's too. Which meant they'd probably want me home more, so less time around Mady as it was. Poor Mady, why couldn't she just go home? The day Abe came home was nearly a envent. We all cleaned up nicely and waited in the living room for him, he known where to go. Deb and me sat on the couch, Mathew and Edith sat in their normal chairs watching TV, and Caleb leaned agesnt the wall waiting alongside Gdynia. When we heard two loud knocks at the door, Deb got up to get it quickly, but my legs where longer and stronger and so I out ran her like back when we where little kids again. I flung the screen door open, and there he was, our oldest sibling in uniform. He's face was bright, and he's face was clean, which was weird because before he left for the military he had a beard and messy black hair, now he's face was clean and he's hair was smooth. He's skin was so white, and he's hair so black, he looked like a man from the 1920s. Abe hessataed to get closer, and then reached in and hugged me, patted me on the back then moved away. He's tone when he first spoke was nearly horsee, and he sounded glum. “Your taller Ed, you look like a man now.” I smiled and nodded. I known I didn't look like a man, but I was taller then last he saw me yes. Deb moved in closer to between us, and before Abe even known she was close she pulled him into a hug, he laughed and hugged her back, though seemed a little akward about it, every man no matter who it was got a little akward hugging Deb after she became a woman. “I missed you!” She yelled, then pulled out a folded up letter from her pocket and hit him with it. “Your 24 years old, and you can't even spell Abe!” Again Abe laughed and took the letter from her, it was a one he gave to us a month ago. He's face got a little red and he looked away and laughed it off. “Ah, well I always write at night, so I was probably tired when I made this.” He handed it back to her, and we all shook our heads. “Oh things just aren't the same when your not here! We're just not a family.” “Yeah!” I agreed. Abe rubbed he's neck and nodded, mumbling something I couldn't understand. Mathew came in and with a strong laugh patted Abe on the back so hard even he cringed in pain a little. “Are you adoving us?” He asked, and Abe shook he's head. “No, actually...” Abe looked around with a sneaky look, then honned in on Deb. “I'm thinking on leaving the military in fall.” Deb cried out in joy and bagged him to do so. “About time!” Edith came in and put her hand on her husband's shoulder. “I didn't say I quite next, and you can't just quite the military quickly, so it'll take time but...” And he said in a kinder tone. “There's nothing out there in the world left for me, but here.” Everyone else seemed lightened and gay by what he said, and that it was the most kind thing. But a hit of a more worse off emotion hit me, and it did take the smile off my face for a second. We all gathered close and talked about our lives, when Abe heard I quite school to get a job he said “As long as you can write better then me, I'm proud of you Ed!” And he shook my hand. After probably half a hour we remembered that we had a much for cumpterble living room, and we all headed into there. And we all took our seats where they where before but Abe sat near Deb while he's arm was over her shoulder. Caleb was still where we left him, losing some humour Abe glanced over at him and quickly said. “Hello Caleb.” Caleb nodded and plainly said. “Welcome back.” Abe nodded then turned back to everyone else. Caleb moved into the basement with Gdynia. Abe talked about he's job some more, and the places he's been. He told a story about some Irish born man in the military he known that would read people random parts of the bible, but he's acent was so thick no one could understand him at all. But it did make some underknown parts of the bible easier to remember because of he's silly voice. Shyly, Deb put her hand on my arm and said. “You remember Madyson Abe? One one of Ed's friends right?” Abe looked at her with the change of tone, then said. “No, what's wrong?” Deb took a breath, and when she felt my arm stense up she moved her hand away from my arm. “She's missing. She just dissapeared one day and no one has seen her since. It's nearly been two months by now.” “Oh...” Abe gave me a sorry look and I nodded. “Oh, her family is so destroyed. You know I never liked her father, he looks- uh, well you know what happened to him in world war two. But he's wife always comes to Church, and she's a lovely woman, you can tell she's heart broken. Lord knows what happened to that poor girl.” Deb put the tip of her hand to her mouth, and Abe nodded. I've heard talk of what most people think of what happened to her. Some guy knocked on there door, then kidnapped her and well- you know. Really that made my skin go cold, and my face plain. If someone found her in that barn, and I don't know who in town would ever do this, but you just never know, well, if something happened in that barn no one would ever know. She's complettly unprotected there. I wish I could spend more time with her, the only time she's safe is when I'm with her. Then there was the power I held too, I mean, I tried to keep it out of my mind, its like the thought you get when your close too a high edge, the feeling you get when you can do something horrible so easily. Judging by the looks Abe and Deb gave me, my thoughts shown on my face, so I tried going more blank and just shrugged at them. “Is there any leads at all? Any kind?” Abe asked. Deb shook her head. “No. She just dissapeared one day. Oh it's just awful.” Then they changed the topic after a time, and I felt better. But that didn't last greatly long, because Mathew had to bring up the now black sheep of the family. “So Abe, when do you think Becky will have a baby?” Abe glanced over at Mathew, and shrugged. Clearly he normal formal yet southern manours where back, not so much the laughing happy one who just came home. “I don't know, not sure how good of a uncle I'd be.” He mumbled under he's breath. “I'm not good with babies anymore.” Deb just shook her head and held her tonge, she known Abe wouldn't let others speak lowly of Becky's character, and Deb loved Abe so she wouldn't do that in front of him. “All I care is, if she has a boy she should name it after our father.” He looked around, and we all agreed. He was talking of our real father, the one that raised us. Not the one that planted us. We hardly ever thought of those people. The rest of the day went on like a one day vacasion. And that night when we went to Church everyone was so happy to see Abe again, even if hardly anyone known him. I sadly though, as good of a day as I had, I couldn't see Mady that day, and I every now and then I could feel Aidyn's hateful eyes on me. Because I got a lost sibling back, and he's seemed lost forever. 

Just a few days after that, like how Abe was born a few hours ahead of her, Becky came back with her husband. Things weren't quite as happy as when Abe came home. Only Caleb and Abe seemed to want to treat her fully like normal before she ran off. Caleb nodded at her, asked her how she was doing and whatnot. But Abe hugged her and told her he missed her, and that she needed to stay longer then two weeks. And then when her husband, called Sammy Hazes, came in carrying all three of their suit cases, Abe gave him a good look over but said nothing, just nodded at him in a very stern way, like he was Sammy's father in law or something. Caleb seemed a little put off by Sammy, and him and Gdynia left for outside too do some mail arens while we all got settled in. For the next three days Abe would ask Sammy a series of seemingly random questions till on the third he just stopped, and seemed to be more calm around the man and even made small talk with him. There was a small bedding problem. See with Abe coming back in, Caleb refused to sleep in the same bed as him. Actually one time late at night when it was just the three of us up, Abe me and Caleb, Caleb was walking over to my bed, and Abe called out from sitting on he's bed. “What? Do you not like me anymore?” Caleb shook he's head, but before he got to the safty of our bed Abe came over quick as a flash and started pretending to drag Caleb over to he's bed, and acting on that I grabbed Caleb's hands and started trying to pull him closer to mine, and we'd switich on who was winning or lossing, and both me and Abe laughed loudly and hardly. But the two who weren't laughing where Gdynia and Caleb. Gdynia looked at this with he's ears up from the side of my bed and a worried look. And Caleb just looked suprided and was actually struggling to get away lightly for most of it, till Abe actually yanked on Caleb's next and chest, so responding Caleb elbowed him in the next and pushed us both away. After Abe got done gagging we all went to bed akwardly without commenting on it further. Poor Deb now, and really I do mean poor her, well she  had to share a room with Becky again like when they where younger, so she more or less woke up every more a little angery. Though this problem seemed to go down with time as things went by. This Sammy character, well first he slept in the attic for a while by he's own request. He of course couldn't sleep in the same room with Deb. But after one morning when he came down with a spider on he's shoulder, he started sleeping in Abe's bed. So all four of us young men where all in one room. One day I made a joke to Sammy when I was feeling brave, that he had moved from sleeping with one twin too a aouther, but he just kind of cringed at that, so after that we talked little.

Then, there came a day when Mady demained I stay with her longer. I was so busy with work and family, and she was more alone then ever, and she demained it so I couldn't say no. And that meant I needed to make a plan. It went like this. There was this boy in my class who was my age, but we hardly ever talked, he's name was Rogers. Deb sometimes worried that I never made friends with people my age. So I told Deb that Rogers asked if him and me could have a sleepover, and I asked her if I could walk over to he's house this evening and spend the evening and night and morning with him and he's family, then come back the next mid day. She said that was fine by her if I spent the rest of my day only with the family. And I did. Deb tried to make it speical by bringing out this new boredgame she just bought. We all had fun, even the dog seemed to have fun with he's large old body underneath the table we played on, every now and then licking someone's feet, which would make someone randomlly laugh and then most of us would laugh at something we didn't understand, till Gdynia licked our feet. Then that evening I was off. I took a good piece of dinner Deb had save from last night, some cold corn. I told her Roger's parents didn't get very good food, so I asked her if I could take some of the corn and she said yes. This wasn't going to be my food, but Mady's. I slipped out of town easily when I left, it weirdly cold that night even though it was summer, so I took a light jacket. Though it wasn't dark out yet by the time I got too the barn, it felt weirdly unsafe, and it made me think of the waterfall cave and what me and her saw in it. I tried not too do that when I could. I opened the barn do- no I flung it agenst the wall and yelled. “Honey! I'm home!” Mady was messing with something in the back of the barn, and quickly turned over to look at me while screaming, but when she reconized it as me and started yelling. “Ed! Your going to kill me if you keep scaring me like that! Oh I hate that I never feel safe here!” She stomped her foot on the ground then crossed her arms. “Fine fine.” I laughed. “You can stay mad at me, but I got corn for you, and we need to quickly make a fire before it gets dark.” Her mood changed, and then she ran over and looked down into the green bowl I had. “Oh, oh Ed. I haven't had corn since last Christmas!” She hugged me with the bowl inbetween us, and I handed it off to her. “I'll get out what I need to make the fire, you hold that.” So we did just that, I got out everything I needed, and she watched with a little girl's smile on her face. I hadn't been able to get her any good foods, and by good I mean good tasteing. Or at least nothing this fancy, fancy for a old barn at least. I still had to hold my hands over the fire so the bowl with corn in it could warm up, I thought of buying something to hold it up over a fire without my help, or me burning my hands, but that would take money away from feeding Mady, and she'd only be staying here a week and a half longer anyway. Then life could go back to normal. While the thing was cooking next to my hands, Mady watched closely while smelling it. At some point she looked so hungery I was worried she's eat my hands! When the corn was done and she was finally able to eat, I gave her my jacket and we actually stayed outside near the fire, so while she ate it was my job to keep the fire nice and warm. “It tastes fine right?” I asked, and she nodded. “Ha, well good, you should thank my sister, she does a great job cooking.” Mady looked over to me, and moved in closer. “The blounde one or dark haired one?” “Blounde one.” She nodded. “She's the one that works in the Church, I remember that.” “Yeah... You know, she- Deb, worries about where you went too, and she doesn't even know you.” Mady sunk in closer to her bowl. “Everyone worries about you, they say a lot of things...” Mady sat her almost complettly aten bowl next to her feet and looked to me. “What kinds of things?” I cringed. “The kinds of things I'm not saying around a girl.” She tilted her head. “They don't think I ran away, do you?” “No, well some people have suggested that, but that's not what most think.” “They think I was kidnapped, right?” I nodded. “The few who are still actively looking for you, well there looking for a body, you know...” She nodded. “I would have guessed that by now.” “Right...” I nodded then looked back over to the fire. “I haven't seen much of your brothers, but they surely want you home.” Mady messed with her shoes on the ground. “Mady, it's soon going to be time you have to go home. What do you think about that?” “I don't want to go home. I like it better out here.” Quickly I flung my arms to my sides and stood right up, looking down at her. “You can't tell me you like being all here alone! I'm not letting you stay here alone anymore after the month! I Won't help you, I can't!” She looked up at me, with a honest to God hateful look, and stood up to met my eyes almost and say. “You can stop helping me if you want, and if you do I'll just run away somewhere far away from here and you'll never see me again!” “Ohh, Mady you can't do that! Please don't do this!” She got close to my face and yelled “I will! I'm never going back home and that's a fact Ed!” I stepped back from her, my face felt hot and cold at the same time. She cringed and quickly started finishing her food. I sat back down but kept father away from her. After a moment when I known she didn't have anything in her mouth I quitely said. “I can't let you run away...” I said plainly, Then added in a sour tone. “As of late I've heard a lot of ways little girls can get hurt out there. And if you think I'm ok with letting you stay out here in this old barn while something is in that cave out there!” she made no respounse. Again she said nothing back, because there really wasn't anything that she could have said back then, I know that. I messed with my shoes on the ground, and the fire weakly started to go out. “I have good news.” I started, and she looked over to me lightly. “I'm supposed to be at a sleep over right now that was never actually planned, so that means I can stay the night.” She seemed pleased by that. “Really? The hole night?” I nodded. “Until morning. I want to be back early so my sister Deb doesn't go and call for me.” Mady nodded back, the air between us seemed lifted and she moved in closer to me again when I back away. “I've been wanting you to stay a night. That makes me so happy.” “Right, well do you have a empty cow hay bed I can sleep in? She shook her head no. “Oh...” 

The next went by like any other. It was almost time Becky and her husband had to go home, but by then everyone at least liked Sammy a little (besides Deb) and it was a shame seeing Becky go even more so. But by the last days everyone tried to make the most of it, besides me who had work and Mady to tend to. Then one Saturday something every new, and very scary happened. Becky insisted that I stay inside all day, and though I didn't want to, I known Mady had enough food to last her so I did that, and I didn't have work that day either. But the weird thing that day was Caleb. That morning he went outside with Gdynia to get the mail, he had a small drink with him and everything. I was eating breakfast when that happened. He went out, waited by the mailbox still for a while just looking at something, then he came back inside and put Gdynia back inside and left he's half drank cup on the table, then went back outside and no one saw him for the rest of the day. For the first four hours we didn't worry that much, no one really commented on it. But the later it got the more grim we where over it. By the time the sky wasn't as bright any more even Abe looked pissed off, and after phone calls didn't show any results Abe went off with a pistol to look for he's brother, telling me and Sammy to watch after the house and no one is to come outside after him til he gets back. The panic wouldn't have been as bad if when it was around midday, Deb hadn't started to panic and went on about how there could be a killer in town that got Mady and now Caleb. It was far feachted given I saw him leave, and he seemed like he known where he was going or that he had something to do. Phone calls told us nothing, everyone said they hadn't seen him at all. And it wasn't like Caleb to not tell us when he was going out. Sure he did go out enough, like any other young man he's age, but he always told us when he was going to leave and a ruff idea of when he'd be back. Just when the idea of him getting murdered seemed most real, and it was already fully black, from outside the door opened, and Abe and Caleb where back. We all ran over to see them but Deb was in the front, and her mouth opened to yell but she held it back. If anyone was going to be mad at Caleb for running off it would have been Abe, Abe was oddly good at finding fault in Caleb. But when they both came glumly in, Abe for the first time since Caleb was probably a toddler, Abe had physical contact with him that was nothing but kind, he had he's arm over he's shoulder, and they both shared the same kind of exspression. Abe weakly smiled at Deb and said mutely. “I found him, he was actually with Theo Cox most of the day, you know, the one guy in town with no electricity in he's home.” Deb moved her hands to the sides of her dress in a very stiff pose. “Why?...” Caleb straighted up a little bit, and handed over a cream colored piece of paper to Deb. We all gathered around it and read, slowly one by one all of our faces changed but mine, because I did not understand what the card meant. It was small, and looked like it was just saying who Caleb was, how old he was, where he lived, he's full name. For a second I thought the thing was funny because it said he had white hair, when even though Caleb's hair had gotten whiter the older he got, he was still bloude mostly. It just looked like idetfacasion card sent by the government. But suddenly my ears where shattered when right next to me Deb dropped the thing on the ground and screamed like it was going to kill. Quickly Becky held her sister in her arms, and Edith started speaking kind words to Deb. Caleb had a sorry look on he's face but made no effort to comfort he's sister. I looked over to Caleb and met he's eyes. “What does that mean? Caleb what's happening?” Caleb was about to speak but right as the first word left he's mouth Abe  spoke for him. “He's been drafted.” I didn't really know what to do about that, all I could do was nod. Drafted? Well I've heard about men being sent off to fight in Vietnam. I heard it on TV and in the paper, and everyone seemed to have strong thoughts on it. All I could do now was step back and watch the others thoughts on it and came to my own in time. “Burn it! Not Caleb! burn it!” Deb yelled but Abe yelled back just as quick after her. “No! He's not going to burn it! There's nothing to do now.” Caleb opened he's mouth but Abe moved he's arm away from him and started. “Your going, you can't do anything now.” “I don't want him to die!” Deb cried into her hands. “You watch too much news Debbie.” Mathew said in a way that was gental but cruel. “The government has to draft men, and Caleb is no different. There's nothing wrong with making sure men come to help in war.” “Oh Mathew!” Deb looked up at Mathew with weak anger. “Your not American! Your from Poland! How dare you speak for my country! And how dare you brush off he's life so easly! If Caleb dies I'll never let you live it down!” Then Deb sat down on one of the table chairs and cried into her hands. All Mathew could do is shrug. Abe came over to her and hugged her, she nearly fell into he's arms when he did that, it looked like something out of a movie. “Well!” Sammy started, in a almost scard voice. “I think you'll do well Caleb. Heck, this may even be good for you. Really I was thinking of signing up myself, like my old man. Bless he's soul.” At that last part Becky glanced over at him and gave him a dirty look. A little fight broke out over when he'd go, and what we where going to do about money, because Caleb's job brought us the most money now. But it seemed pointless to me because I'd known we all had enough money to last us a long while, Mathew wasn't a poor man. Then the talk of how long he'd have to spend in the military at the least, and even though Abe show have had a idea, he said he did not know at all, or what Caleb would be doing there. The talking went on so long that Caleb himself was actually able to sneak out of the kitchen and away into the basement with Gdynia. After a time I followed him, and they didn't see me either. When I got to the basement I met Caleb laying on our bed with all of he's clothes still on, looking at the celing. I came close, took off my shoes and socks then laid on the other side of the bed next to him, looking at the same place he was. “I'm Sorry.” I said flatly. After a time Caleb finally said. “I don't want to leave Ed. I don't want to go.” He said it in such a way that my eyes strained, and I'm sure I would have wept if I was a woman. “I'm sorry.” I said again. “I don't want you too go. I don't want you to die.” Caleb looked over to me with a very ferm face. “Ed, I promise you, I will not die. I'll leave my country, I will fight in this war I don't really understand, and I'll do what I have too, but I will not die.” When Caleb said something like that, he meant it. He could have been shot down where he stood, but now he was protected and that meant he would not die. Nothing could get him now, he was safe, and I felt better. Caleb turned back to look above. “How much do you remember about dad Ed?” Dad? Honeslty I was so used to a parentless life I forgot people had parents. “Oh, dad? Well I remember this and that. What of it?” “Well, if you remember, he used to read us books about war. Men in war. You remember how he was sick, don't you?” I nodded. I don't know if he saw me nod but he went on anyway. “Well, he wanted to sign up too world war two, but he was too sick.” “I do remember. Huh, I guess he'd be happy to know one of he's sons is fighting in a war now wouldn't he.” Caleb nodded, but not in a proud way. “Well, weather or not he would be proud, I have to go now.” Then I saw that Caleb had the horrible card in he's hands, I didn't see it because it was so small. He must have picked it up off of the ground after Deb dropped it. “I have to carry this around...” Caleb said lamely. “I'm sorry.” Was seemingly all I could say that night. 

For a while after that, the world was glum. The hole world was glum. Two days later Becky and Sammy had to leave because of Sammy's job. Becky seemed so sad to say bye. It wasn't that she didn't love Sammy, she clearly did. But it was like she was mourning her past life, a life she could never really have again. Deb still didn't seem to be at peace with Becky, but after Deb cried on her, Deb saw her in a different light. When they left our house some empty, and it made me wish I could go with them, and suddenly for the first time since I had probably gotten here, I remembered I was a forener like Mathew and Edith. I wasn't a Texan, I was from Pennsylvania. I had been ripped from my home at a early age because of death. And I had forgotten that because everyone around here saw me as one of them. I just fit in so well, but I wasn't them. My blood was just a little different. Like how Abe and Caleb where from different blood even though they both had the same mom. Speaking of Abe and Caleb, left both left in two weeks time. Abe didn't want to quit the military now. He didn't say why, and wouldn't talk about it too anyone, but he wanted to stay away from us. Caleb as the days went by looked more and more tired, and sad. Like he was going to die. And on the second week, he was gone. He already known he'd have to cut he's hair short in the military so he thought it'd be better to let Deb do it instead of someone he didn't know. By the time he's hair was close to he's head, he's hair really did look white not bloude. What ever was wrong with he's hair I did not know. Maybe he's head was sick. Like a weed was in he's brain. Mathew was going to drive Caleb out to somewhere far away he could be flown away out of this country. Caleb promised to write as much as he could, more then Abe ever did. And he would write longer and more detailed letters, because he loved us. He said he wasn't even gone and he already missed us. And then he was gone, Deb cried when he was driven away. And she looked over to me, and with sparks in her eyes the way only a woman could, she said. “Ed, oh sweat Ed. We where once five, but now we are two. Oh we all used to be a real family. But now we're not. Oh I'm so lonely! Why couldn't Abe stay! Becky doesn't love me and Caleb has to go, but why couldn't Abe stay!? I thought it'd just be you me and Caleb from now on! Oh my life is nothing but loss since mom and dad died!” Then she hugged me, and made my shoulder wet. I didn't know what to do, so I just let her stay agenst me. The house was lonely as you could have guessed after that. I had the hole basement to myself, and I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would when I was younger. And around me people seemed less joyed and gay as they once did.

A season, all of summer passed by. My friend group was dead. Not killed by Kylie like I once thought, but by me. Now only Kylie, Sara and Abbie stayed by each other. We talked when we ever saw each other, but that was if we saw each other. And with me working all the time I didn't often. Luis seemed the same, he didn't change much from what I could tell from he's sister's dissaperance. He turned 12 that summer, and he still looked and acted just as young as when we where first friends. Aidyn on the other hand, he kept to himself, he actually dropped out of school to get a job like me, but he did it because he needed to, because Mr Hall wasn't working anymore. He stayed home every day, never went to Church or family gatherings or to buy anything, he never left home. Miss Hall had to get a job like her son to hold up the family. And overall the state of the Hall family was looking grim. Every time I saw any of the family members, or heard what they where up too, I'd go and tell Mady in hopes it would change her mind on not coming home. But it never did. The only good thing that came, was that I stopped seeing marks on Aidyn and luis, and they in return seemed less scard of home. On a good note my work was getting better. Mr Hines seemed to find me more and more useful, and at a point he started paying me for the hourly work I did, started paying me a lot better overall really. It still wasn't quite anything to live off of, but it was by far enough to help Mady live by herself. She now had enough to where I never had to worry about her having food any given day. And now I could buy her more safe water, and we could both stay away from that creek leading to the waterfall cave. What I did worry about was Mady's mental state. She hadn't seen anyone but me in months, and she honestly was not bothered by that. If I ever brought it up she's give me a bad look then I'd quit. It seemed as of late she'd either be very kind to me, or very nasty. If I was to be honest with myself, she scard me a little. Sometimes she'd even grab me by the arm really hard if she was mad at me, and there wasn't anything I could do back. I couldn't tell on her, because what if her father started hurting her again? What if he hurt her worse then ever for being gone for so long? What if he killed her? I didn't think he would, but I couldn't trust him. But the fate of the Hall family was set in stone on September 2th. 

On September 2th it was near night but close enough to day that the sky was red and pink, So I wasn't surprised when after work when I got to the barn I saw Mady leaning agent the barn door with her head looking up. I was in good sprites, and she seemed to be that way too. “Hey Ed.” Mady said. “Mady.” I tipped my cowboy hat then sat down besides her. “Why are you wearing that?” She laughed. “Well see today I was chilly I had to wear my jacket right?” I gestured to my arms, which till had the jacket on them. “And out of all my jackets this one looks the most like a western jacket, so I just had to wear a hat to go along with it didn't I?” She laughed and shook her head. “It's really nice out, isn't it?” Mady started. “Yes it sure is. But it won't last long.” “True. You get any letters from your brother Caleb this month yet?” “Oh, no he's only written two times since he's left, but they where really really long so that made up for it. He says it's getting a letter to send from one country to a aouther.” “I bet. I'm sorry it's just you and sister now.” “Oh it's fine, I mean it's not like we where going to be together forever. I'm not shocked. Though Deb doesn't seem very happy about it.” Mady nodded. “I'm sorry. Are you going to stay the night? Or do you have to be home by night time?” “Oh, I should be back by the time everyone is going to bed. But I can still stay while it's dark. Oh! That reminds me!” I had something in my pocket the hole time I walked here, and kindly I took it out and placed it gentally into Mady's hands. “It's a pocket knife! I know you don't like the last one I gave you. But this one is sharper and longer. It's just in case anyone comes in here without me around.” She gave me a funny looking smile, but nodded and thanked me anyway. “I know it's not the kind of gift a girl would like, but please promise me you'll keep it by your bed at night, it'd make me feel a little better.” “Ok, I promise I will.” The knife had a handle around it, so it wouldn't cut her while she slept, so I felt a lot better with it being in her hands. A knife couldn't do much, but it was better then nothing for sure. “Hey Mady, I know it's a a few months till Thanksgiving, but what do you want to do for it? I can't be with you on the day surely, so would the day afterwards be fine by you?” I didn't even bother mentioning her abandoned family anymore if the mood was good, which it was now. “The day afterwards if fine, makes no diffrance to me.” She said. “That's good, I'm sorry I just don't think I can stay away from them on a hoilday like that. I don't know about the food, but I'll figure that out when we get there. Maybe I'll save up enough money to where I can buy you something really nice.” She smiled at me and nodded. “I'd like that a lot Ed.” I nodded back. “Me too, I mean, I think you'll enjoy it.” She smiled more. “Thank you. Oh your so kind Ed, your the kindest person I ever met.” “Oh now, I'm sure you've met someone nicer. I'm just doing what I have too.” Mady laughed and shook her head. “If you say so, but don't put yourself down none.” 

I stayed with her as long as I could, but I wanted to be back before everyone went to sleep, so I had to leave her alone with the knife. Walking home it really seemed cold then, and the idea came to me of buying Mady a coat and a aouther blanket, if it really was going to be a cold year. It's not like Mell-Tunnel was that far down south in Texas, hardly at all. When home was in sight I known something was wrong, all the lights in the house where on, it was lit up like a cadle. I rushed inside just as quick as I could, and when I got into the living room I saw Deb crying with her hand on her face. She was sitting in the middle of the couch, and when she looked up at me she gave out one last sob and then seemed to hold herself back a little. In her other hand, the one that wasn't wet, she had the home phone with the long wire. “Oh, Ed your back...” She said in a hourse tone. My blood ran cold as ice, and I betrayed what Caleb told me, as my first thought was that Caleb had died off in the war. “Is it Caleb!?” I asked, running close to Deb and holding her hand that was wet. “What? Oh, oh no Ed. I suppose he's fine. I hadn't heard from him since he's last letter.” My body lossened up, and I let go of her hand. If I was a more open person I would have thanked God right then and there out loud instead of in my head. “Oh, ok... Well then what's wrong?” She took a deep breath, and handed me the phone. “Please, can you up this up first.” With just a few quick strides I hung up the phone then came back to her. “Ok...” She sat up a little straighter. “Ed, you know the Hall family well? Or do you just know the... missing one.” My body became stiff again, if it wasn't for the fact that I just saw Mady, I would have been scard for her. What of Aidyn and Luis then? Are they hurt? “Yes, I know the family.” “Well, you see-” She started messing with her hands after wiping her face again. “Earlier this morning, some man in town found... Ah, they found a little dress near the side of the... Creek. And he known about the little girl that went missing this summer, so he uh... Well he went too the Hall family and.” Deb held her hand to her mouth, like saying whatever she was getting at would make the thing come true. “And? What else Deb!?” “Ah.” She chocked out. “Your friend's father and mother both said it was their daughter's dress the day she went missing. I-It was all wet turn and even had some remains of blood on it...” Oh no, I hadn't seen her old dress in the barn in a long time, this must have meant that Mady went out one day to the creek and thrown away that old dress, why did she do that? I could have barried it somewhere no one would find it, she shouldn't have thrown it in the creek, and she shouldn't be out at the creek anyway. “My God...” Was all I could say, I mainly said it to make her believe I was shocked, and I was, but not for the reasons she'd think I was. “I know!” She cried, tears falling form her eyes. “Oh she's surely dead now! We'll never find her body now! Coyotes would have gotten it by now! Who would do such a thing to a young girl!?” After that she put her hands on her face and wept. I sat beside her on the couch and rubbed her back and comported her as she cried. I didn't have anything to say to her so I didn't speak.

I couldn't go and see Mady the next day, which made me angery at myself because now it was more important then her. The hole town now soon heard that Madyson Hall was declared dead, the next morning it was said the funeral would be in a week and a half. When it came to what others where saying, there was still some debate over weather she got lost and died, and the animals ate what was left of her, or she was- uh, well raped and murdered, and her killer left her clothes there a long time ago and made off to hurt someone else. But most people agreed on you can't charge animals, and if it was a killer it was surely no one in town so he'd be long gone by now, so the bussness was over and all that was left to do now was hold a funeral and move on. I sought out Aidyn on the second day of the news of her apprent death being out, he was actually looking for me too. We talked at the front door of he's house, just where I tole he's sister from him months ago, that felt like years ago now. “Do you, you know, really think she's dead? You don't really believe that do you?” I asked him plainly. “Well, I guess I have too now, but I... I don't want to.” He said, he's face was very white, and very blank too. He could never seem to be able to met my eyes as we talked. “I know she's in a better place but, I don't know, I feel left behind.” He's pose straightened and he shook he's head. “But this sort of thing happens you know.” “I know. I know.”

After our short talk, I partacally ran though town. I took a day off work for the first time since I had gotten the job, Mr Hines seemed to think it was about my seemingly dead friend, so he was more the willing, and when he said I could have a day or two off I was about ready to kiss him, but I only needed one I said. I ran quicker then I ever thought I could out of town. I didn't know why, but it felt like if I don't do this quickly then something bad will happen. It also felt like something bad did happen to Mady, everyone was talking about it, and I was scard for her. When the barn was finally in my sights I gave my last fighting effort, I really wished then that the barn wasn't so far off from town as it was. As I got up to the door and opened it I thought for just a second I'd see what was left of her bloody water damamded courpe. But all of my stress and worry fell when I saw Mady look up at me surprised, her hair was wet and it looked like she put up on her clothes, a small pot of nearly empty water was next to her. “Ed!” She half yelled half laughed, her face red as her dress. “If you came here a second sooner, you would have seen me nude!” Under normally cercomstanses, I probably would have been very embarassed to hear that, but I was ruffing for air so hard my head hurt, and my mind was everywhere in Mell-Tunnel at once, that it hardly meant anything to me. “Come in, it's hot outside.” I shut the barn door behind me, and clumsally came in and sat a good eight feet away from her on the ground, me pantting like a dog. “Mady... Oh God Mady what have you done?!...” She started too look confused, with her hand on her arm. “What?” “You... You should have went home a week after what happened. Oh God Mady... Where is your old dress?!” “My old dress? Oh. I uh, I thrown it away in the creek, it smelt bad and I hated looking at the blood on it. Why?...” “Oh God Mady why! You should have told me I could have barried it!” “Why does it matter? What's wrong!?” I thrown my hands in the air, stiff huffing. “Mady, someone found that dress, and everyone thinks your dead! No their all sure your dead! You have a funeral in a week Mady! Oh Mady why didn't you... Oh No, oh no oh no...” I nearly cried right then and there, but I just didn't know why. “Oh...” Was all she could say. Then I looked up at her, anger making my face red, and I known it because I could feel it in my cheeks. “You should have gone back in a week! Now if- oh God, why did I help you!? You have to go back now!” I made to grab her arm, but she slapped me across the face so hard that I fall back on the ground, her nails caught my skin and made them bleed. “Don't tell me what to do!” She yelled down at me as she was standing up now, in such a way that it was like a little girl screaming and a grown woman at the same time, high pitched but hard and cruel. “I'd really get killed if I came back now! I can't go back I won't! I'm dead now to everyone and I'm fine with that! I hated living there!” I scooted away from her a little bit, with my hand to my face and my eyes closed shut. “I can't... Mady I can't hide you away in this little old barn anymore...” “You can't just leave me now! Your not taking me back to that old horrible man!” I pulled my legs closer together and sat up a little bit. “Mady, please. If you go home and he touches you ever again, then I swear I'll take you away again, I'll hide you. But please try going home. You haven't seen how your brother looks, he's... awful Mady.” I looked up, and she crossed her arms as I sat up more. “Ed, if I can't stay in this barn anymore, then I'll go run away too the nearet city. I'll make a life on my own there but I promise you I'm never going back home.” After a time I stood up too her and removed my hand from my face, she cringed at my face but didn't say anything. “You... You don't have to leave the barn-” “No, no I want to leave this barn, I'm sick of it. But I'm not going home either. Ed-” “What do you want, just say it already.” I said tiredly, I put my arms down to my sides fully. “Ed, can you just- can you move somewhere else with me?” I stared at her blankly and rubbed my eyes while signing, and she went on right as I started that. “Please! Please come with me! I'll be all alone and it's not like you really, uh..” She shrugged in a defeated way. “It could be good for both of us.” I shook my head again. “Mady I'm not your husband. You can't just go and ask me that.” The last few words I wined a little. “Your old enough now anyway! I'm only 14, but in a few months you'll be 17! I still need help Ed...” I felt dragged and used, like anything I said meant nothing. “I can't just do that to my sister Deb. What could I ever tell her? She'll have no sibings left with her, she'll be so alone.” “Ed, you can't live for your family! Your old enough now you should be your own man. If she can't accept you being gone now then she never will, so why not rip the bandage off now?” I rubbed the back of my neck a little. “I don't think it would be right.” “I need you a lot more then Deb does you know. Can't you do this for me?” How could I say no? I just didn't know how too. “Oh Mady, please I just...” I rubbed my face again. She made to say something but I put my hand in front of her. “Not now Mady. We can talk about this later but not now.” I ran my hands over my hair and moved away from her, mumbleing to myself. I couldn't see her now but I could feel her arms crossed. 

The days leading up to the funeral was a mess, nothing but one big mess. Every time I saw her she was talking about running away with me and how to do it. It was just so much I needed more then a week to think it over, but she wasn't wanting to let it go, she gave me Hell all of the time. I had to go to her funeral. I didn't tell Mady this but her father didn't come. I don't know why and I won't tell you any of my guesses. Things got tighter and tighter. With my hands tied and my wings feathered, Mady convinced me. One night she sat me down, two days after her funeral, my face still wasn't clean from her attack on me. “Ed, can we go now? I don't think I can wait any longer. I want to be free. I want to be free from my old home, and now I want to be free of this barn. Why must I always be trapped? I want to be free Ed please come with me. If you don't come with me now then I promise you I'll go alone, and you'll never see me again.” “... I- Ok, I'll come with you. But give me time, I have a idea to where we can live. But I'll need time to see if I can do it, just... I don't know.” I sat down on the ground and started rubbing my knees, she watched me with a blank look on her face as I did that. “Ok, I'll go with you and take care of you, if you are fine with two things.” “What are they?” She asked, getting down to my level and near my face, in a very dog like way. “First thing, you know how I have a biological father that is still alive?-well, as far as I know.” She nodded. “Yes. You never talk about him.” “Right, well I know nothing about him, only little memories. But if we run away, I want us to try can run away to he's house before we try and make it on our own. He may want to see me after such a long time. And I don't know if we can make it on our own.” She nodded again. “Mhh, how about we try and live in the city near by Mell-Tunnel before going to him, and then if we can't live on our own then go to him. What's the other thing?” “The second thing is, when we leave I'm going to write my sister Deb a letter telling her why I left, and I'll tell her everything that is going on. I'll tell her about you, and why you haven't came home, and how I've been helping you. Just everything. Does that seem fair?” immidity Mady cringed, and moved away a little. “I... I guess that's fair. As long as she finds the letter after we leave. But do you even know where your father lives?” “He's not my father. But I do remember the town he used to live in, and we have the same last name of Ender so he can't be that hard to find.” “Makes sense. But I really do think we should try and live in the city first, can we please try living there for a week first, and if it doesn't work out we can go to your father.” I thought for a moment, rubbing my face and the lids over my eyes a few times. “We... We can try doing that for a week. It's not like I want to see him again or anything. But the letter to Deb stands. And I'll make sure she doesn't see it till after we're already gone. We can go tommarow night. I don't have much money saved up, but it'll be enough to maybe buy us a one room appartemnt for a week, maybe...” 

We left after two days. There was a bad air of death everywhere I went. I could see it in my sister's face that she thought I was mourning, I known she did. One time she even sat me down and told me how losing our parents made her feel, which only made me uncomterble. Mady said before that I had nothing to lose by leaving, but one of my bigest problems with going besides what it was going to do to poor Deb, was not knowing what will happen to Caleb. I won't get he's letters if I live somewhere else. I know he told me he'll be fine, but I still worry a lot. I guess I had nothing to lose when it came to friends, but still. The packing for the trip wasn't the easyist thing to do either. The two old suit cases me and my siblings had when I got here where still in the attic, being unused and left to only carry dust, so stealing them didn't feel too bad on my part. I packed what food we had left saved for Mady, one extrac pair of clothes for me, one very old dress of Becky's that Mady hadn't had yet, my cowboy hat and this really old bible I had been given for my birthday at the start of this year. To save money we had already planned on just walking to the city, which would probably be a day or two days walk, which it was. 

I will relay the next months up until February to you quickly, because they where both very intresting and some of the most important months in my life, while also being horribly boring. When it was late enough that everyone was asleep, I snuck out of the bacement and left my letter on the kichten table. I wasn't much of a writer, but I did manage too write up four sheets of paper exsplaining myself to her. It was hard making the words look neat enough that it would be easy to read, but I had too. I told her that I would only at best be a year, and though I wouldn't tell Mady that, that was my plan. I didn't want to be living in some bad city with her forever. No I'd only stay long enough to where she could get on her feet, and I could be left alone so I could make it back home. So at the longest it'd take a year to do that, after she was on her feet and could live alone, well I don't know. I don't want to leave her, really she's the only person I honestly talk to anymore that isn't Deb. But in some ways I'm just flat out sick of her. Is that wrong? That's probably a very selfish thing to think. As I left my house I really wondered what Deb would think about this, I was almost scard of her in a way, scard of what she'd think of me. But maybe some good would come of me leaving for her, she really was a little too family orented, and this could help her get out of that in time- I hope. Mady and me didn't speak as I came to the barn, packed up what was there that we needed and left the rest. We wanted to purposly leave items there that would show someone had lived there, so when in my letter I said just where Mady had been living, anyone who wanted too could check for themselves, I known Aidyn would want too. It was a two days walk to get too the city. It really made me think back too the stories my siblings would tell about the long journey across America we all made, and sleeping at night in the outdoors really made me almost remember it a little. Mady on the other hand didn't have that happen before in her life and didn't enjoy litterally sleeping on the ground, not even in the barn. This was the first time she hadn't slept in the barn in what seemed like years too her she said too me. She rested her head on my chest most of the night, which at the time felt very natural but looking back on it was a little embarassing, and later on I'd grow a dislike to her touching me at all. The city, now onto the city. The city was called Crow-Well, a name that was definitly a head turner if it was brought up in conversation. Come to think of it I hadn't been in there since I was five, when we passed by the city years ago going to our new home. The way the place looked was very brown and yellow, even at night outside it looked that way. Sometimes that would come off in a very bright and colorful cheery way, and other times it looked soul crushing, all given to the person's mood, and my mood wasn't doing so well. We're we where living, well I didn't have so much money, even less then I thought I did. So when me and Mady made our way too the cheepest looking appartment in town, we where told we just didn't have enough for a week. Of course that was very discourageing, but when we left the building a man walked out and confronted me. He told us we could split the rent, if we wanted to stay in he's appartment. Mady loved the idea, but I saw the way he glanced at Mady, and I'd had enough of people speaking about horrible things happening to her, I didn't want one to come true. So I flat out told him no and took Mady and myself away. When he was out of sight she told me that I had made a bad move, and we should have taken the offer. But I just told her no and to not talk to that guy again if she sees him. It was starting to get so late that the reality of us sleeping outside in the city was real, and after what just happened I didn't like the idea of that happening. Luck for us, it turns out that appartemt though the worst off in town, wasn't the cheepest. And we did end up finding a one that we did have enough to stay a week in. It was only two rooms, a main room with only a small table and a iron bed, and a small bathroom. I let Mady sleep on the bed and I stayed on the floor, she said we could both fit in the bed and when I gave her a no look, she dropped that idea quickly. On the job front it went very well, a little too well actually. The very first day we got there when the sun just started to come up, I told Mady to stay inside all day till I got back, and I went out looking for any kind of job that could keep us in that two room home. The next day I planned on going job hunting with Mady, because I wanted us both working to help and start Mady being on her own, maybe someday if we got enough money I could take her out of that city and find a more calm place for her too live. It wasn't too hard to lie about my age, I looked enough like a 18 year old. In time I found a job in a factory that made small car parts. The job I had there wasn't too, in pay or for my body. Mainly I just carried things from one spot to a another, nothing to fancy or too much brain power was needed, but Lord it sure did hurt. After the first week of working there Mady started letting me sleep on the bed and her on the floor. But one cold morning I woke up and she was in the bed with me, and after that I never slept in the bed again and stayed on the floor in pain. It took Mady a while to find a job, first she tried house cleaning, but she was kicked from that one. But after a week and a half she landed a job babysitting. It was just one client. I met up with him, he seemed like a nice man called Mr Cleaner, apprently he's wife had died giving birth to there last child, and he just didn't have the time to watch over them while he worked. There was four of them in total, two girls and two boys. A 10 year old, 9 year old, 5 year old, and a 2 year old. I was sure Mady would kicked from her job soon enough, that was of course a lot of kids, and I wouldn't blame her if she couldn't do it. By the second day she came back nearly in tears saying how those kids where just horrible. So the next Monday she had to go and stayed for the first 10 minitues, and waited for when I was alone with the first oldest three, and told them a horrible old story about a monster that lived in the dirt under their house, and how if it heard bad kids running around saying bad things, it'd come up and eat the youngest first. They looked scard when I told them, I even felt a little bad afterwards because the five year old started crying. But after I told them that Mady never came home ready to cry. By the third week I known we where going to stay there for good, and that there was no need to see my biological father now, though after that he did stay in my mind. I just really couldn't remember much of him, not even what he looked like hardly, made me wonder if he had short orange hair and was a little bit short like me. I'd seen old 1940s pictures of my father, the one that raised me, but I didn't know what that other man looked like, I guess he must look like me because I look little like my mom. Just how much I loved my family really came to me then. Life was more glum then ever. I said it was before, but back then I was home, and being glum when your where you belong is a very different feeling then when your not where you should be. Kind of made me wonder what kind of man I would be, or what kind of man people needed me to be, or what man God wanted me too be. Who knows what Abe was doing, back in the military seemingly never home anymore, he never talks about just what he does and it's a little creepy in a way. Or what Becky was doing, states away from me, and if she was happy away from home unlike me. And what Caleb was doing far away in a different warring country, and when he'd finally come back home. And Deb who I left behind, the last person she had left. All that was just too much for me, so I tried to not think about it whenever I was working or resting. A another time, but it would just surely clog up my mind from anything important. Mady's birthday came, she was now only a year younger then me, being 15.  Thanksgiving came and we had only a little more food then we'd normally would. We actually ate out at a family resturant. It was really nice, it may have been just a lunch meal to us before but now it was a hardly filling dinner. The resturant was very colorful too, all blue and yellow, it looked like the kind of place you'd see in a new movie, all bright and pretty full of people just like that. The outside was brown like the rest of the city but inside it was something very different, like a beautful geode in a cave. Christmas wasn't as fun as Thanksgivings, it was too cold in our little room, at least I didn't have to work that Friday. It was nice just sitting there and talking to her though, she was nice and I was too. Half of the day we spent home, and the other half we where invited to Mr Cleaner's house, the same man Mady was working for. He was having a small Christmas party in the morning, and it was nice being able to go out somewhere just for fun. There wasn't any people there, mostly just Mr Cleanr's co-workers and their wives and children. It only lasted four hours but it seemed like it lasted a long time. I talked to everyone and even though most of the men there where twice my age I got along with well, at one point Mr Cleaner said I was a fine young lad. I seemed to ride a weird line where some of the people there talked to me like I was a kid, and some people talked to me like I was a adult, it was a little weird but no one was rude so I wasn't really bothered by it. At one point I was coming out of the bathroom, one of the little kids ran past me as I walked down the hallway, and I from above me at the top of the stairs Mr Cleaner spoke. “Hey, uh Ed right?” I turned to him. “Yes sir.” “Can you come up here real quick, just want to ask something.” He gestured to me and I did as he asked and got back up to the top. Everyone besides a few kids in the living room was outside near the door, I stayed as long as I could but it was just too cold. “It's nothing too important, I just wanted to know..” He put he's hands in he's pockets and looked around me. “Is Mady your cousin? Or your girlfriend?...” He asked with a small horse laugh. I shook my head both in a way to say no and a way to collect my thoughts. “No, nether.” “Then why do you live together? Are you sure she's not your girl?” I shook my head again. “I'm just helping her out.” He shrugged. “Whatever, I believe you. But still.” He spoke now in a more slii voice. “It's not good to be living in the same home alone with a woman your not related to if your not married.” The way he said it offened me, I moved back a little bit and took a step down the stairs. “Nothing is happening.” I walked down the stairs and out of the house. The rest of the Christmas day went well, I only got Mady a bracelet. And Mr Cleaner gave Mady a necklace but she never wore it. One day I asked her why if she doesn't wear it then why not sell it? And she said that she was saving it. New year's came and went, and nothing really happen other then it getting colder. And then it was 1965. It was weird spending the hoildays without my family, Mady didn't seem to care. It stayed cold up until the start of February. When I was at the start of the new month, work was just as hard as before, I was payed by hours not on a scudual, so how much work I did payed off. But my back was starting to hurt so much that since we where going a little bit better then when we got there, I decided to take on less work. Mady's job actually payed more then mine, which made me want to look for a better one, but I never seemed to find the time to do it. I was always either resting sleeping or working. My last job with Mr Hines had at least given me a little bit of muscle then before, so I wasn't just not working then suddenly gotten into a hard laybor job. Weird thing about me now was that I both looked more musclar and more weak and skinny, It was a strange look on me, because I still had a rather boyish face, and at this point I was worried I'd keep it. Besides the laybor boss, no one at worked really liked me. They acted like I was a punk that was in their way, even when the only reason I was near by was to help them with their own jobs. I tried to keep to myself whenever I wasn't working at the factory, there wasn't always something for me to do, though when there was the job was so hard it'd leave me begging in my mind for a longer time with no work, it really was killing my back.

At least Mady didn't seem to be bothered with her work anymore. She'd now either come home smiling, or fall asleep on the bed and when she woke up she'd be smiling. On Sundays she actually looked really bored and sad. A few times while I was asleep during the morning on a Sunday, she'd actually go out somewhere, leaving me alone for hours till she got back near dark. I used to ask her where she went, but she'd give me a non answer so I stopped. I really wanted to tell her how loney it was when she wasn't home, but I always told myself I left her alone in that barn by herself all the time, so how could I complain about that. It was my fault she was in that barn before anyway, or why we where both out here. Sometimes I'd wish she'd slap me and yell about how she wanted her old life back, and how I ruined everything. But she never did, she seemed happy overall. Seeing her happy made me want to work harder, but without a new job I really couldn't do that without killing myself. I felt kind of bad, complaining about work and back pain when my two brothers where in the military, Caleb worse in a war! But then the pain would come again and I'd complain in my mind. At the very least it was honest work, and I felt pride in that. 

A more intresting day was one night after I just gotten home from work. The second I walked inside I noticed one thing, Mady wasn't there. The bathroom door was open and of course she wasn't under the bed, she was just gone. It was a Monday night, and she had never been gone before this late. She always come home a hour before me, and I stood looking in the same spots in the room over and over again, like she'd just show up there suddenly. I wouldn't have cared as much as long as she would have told me first. I don't trust this city, as good as it's been to us I still don't trust it. Quickly I took a few bits of change and headed out the door. My plan was to out back out into the cold night to find a telaphone booth, there almost always busy whever I walked by them, even at night, normally used by people like me, but they'd just have to make room for me. The hole apprtemnt hallway and stairs was a gray yellow color, and a intense one at that. It's the kind of shade and tone that makes you more on edge and intense overall. It was enough that when I was walking past anyone that was still up outside I ingored them and went on, no one wanted to talk to me anyway. The second I walked out the front door I wish I was back inside. It was the kind of cold that you'd get used to it if you stayed outside long enough. It was hard finding a telephone booth in the dark when I used to finding them in the dark. When I finally did of course someone was in there, I waited by the side of the booth, not leaning agenst it but near it, just so the guy inside would know I'm waiting, though by the end of it I had to stay there for about 15 minitues. When he finally got out he glared at me then walked off, not that I cared because finally I could get in there, though apprently he had on some sort of prefume because I hated trapping myself inside there with the smell. Luckly for me, Mady and I had memorized Mr Cleaner's house number, and it was so late by now he had to be in with the kid's. If Mady left he's house and didn't say that she was going anywhere, then I'd really be worried for her safety now. After I turned the phone number back one more time and leaned back waiting for a pick up, I really started to notice just how brown and yellow this town was. The sidewalks where a grayish brown, the building where dull tones that reflected the other colors, the wood doors where all a rich sort of brown, and you can guess what the color of the street lights where. It took Mr Cleaner a good while to pick up, long enough to really worry me that he was asleep and wouldn't pick up for the rest of the night. “Who is it?” Said Mr Cleaner, I was a little taken aback at just how awake he sounded, like it was mid-day not the middle of the night. “Hello, uh this is me, Ed Lois.” There was a short silance until he anwsered. “Oh, hi Ed. What do you need?” “Sorry to bother you at this hour, I was just wondering when was the last time you saw Mady? She's not home.” “She left about her normal time, I was there. But I'm sure she'll be home soon, she's not the type to just run off.” That last part took me off guard a little, and I had to shake my head to myself before anwsering. “Right, well if you have any idea where she's be, please tell me now or go look yourself. I'm worried someone may have, uh you know, never mind.” “Well I can't think of anywhere, but if she turns up I'll tell you. I nodded like he was there to see it. “Thank you, if you don't see her tommarow by the time she should be there, I'll call you and tell you she hasn't shown up.”

And after that he hung up and so did I, and then it was a long slow walk home. I just couldn't think of anything more to do then, so the only thing left to do was wait for her. 

She came back half a hour later. I was laying flat on my back on the bed, if it wasn't for my worry I would have been asleep a long time ago. When I heard the soft sound of the front door opening I sat up so quickly that I hurt my back and got a sharp hot white pain from doing that. Mady looked surprised but also shy and small. “Oh Mady!” I said, crawlling out of bed and walking over to her, leaving the blanket on the floor. “Are you ok? Where have you been?” She seemed fine, maybe a little tired and maybe a little week looking in the legs, like she had been walking a long time, but she seemed fine. “Oh, I'm fine. A woman who I talk to before and after work offered to take me to see a movie with her, she had a extra seat. And we talked a long time after that. I'm sorry I may have worried you, you look stressed.” “Hell yes I'm stressed. Mady I didn't even know you had any friends.” I rubbed my face with one of my hard hands again, and Mady apoligized again. “I mean this city isn't as safe as Mull-Tunnel was. Mull-Tunnel never had a kiddnaper of little girls like everyone thought happened to you, but this city surely does. You can't just go somewhere without telling me first, if you stayed out too long I wouldn't know.” Mady seemed a little put off by that. “Well I'm 15 now, I think if I want to go somewhere I can just go.” I didn't feel put to argue so I just shook my head and grabbed my pillow and blanket and started making my spot on the floor. “If you want, you and me can go to that theider next Saturday. It's very cheep, and I could pay to go there myself with my own money. It's a older drive in but you don't need a car to just go there.” After I got into my possison I thought for a moment. “Mhh, I haven't seen a movie since last spring, that would be really nice actually. Well if it's cheep then sure, next Saturday we should go there if you want.” She seemed happy at that, and so was I.

We did go to see that movie next Saturday, and in fact we made a habbit of going there any free day we whern't at work and I wasn't in too much pain, it was a really nice short priod of time. February March then April went by, the only real diffrance was I saved up more and more money for her, and she did the same for herself. I never told her yet that when I really thought she could make it on her own I planned to leave her, but when we got close to that I would. Though I really wondered if she would care. Besides the times we went to the movies she never really talked to me, talking to me seemed more like a job to her now then anything. If I tried making small talk with her before she went to work, she'd look outwardly put off and like she was trying to rush the conversation even when she wasn't in a hurry, so I stopped trying to talk to her before work. And more and more often she was seemingly grossed out by just me in general. With there only being two rooms in the place, a bedroom and a bathroom, it was near impossible to avoid each other. Sometimes she'd just hide in the bathroom with a little yellow papered book and a old blue pen and sit there in the dry bathtub for hours at a time. But what really grossed her out, is when she'd ever see she shirtless. It only happened a hand full of times because I mainly dressed myself fully in the bathroom, but whenever I wasn't wearing a shirt she'd just look the other way and make a disgusted face. I didn't understand it at all. My sisters never minded me with or without one on, and I'm sure back when Mady lived in that barn she wouldn't have minded (she was a little handsy back then) so what was the wrong now? It was like I had vialaded her by letting her see that. It really just made me feel uncomterbal in my own skin whenever she was home, even as the days got hotter and hotter in that cramped yellow appartemnt, I either wore a long sleeved shirt or I hid in the bathroom when Mady wasn't hiding in there. Mady in gerneral started being out more and more. More offers to go places or stay out late with someone. She never tells me where she's going, it worrys me I lot and I can never sleep when she's not home out of worry, but I never bring it up too her anymore, she'd just give me a bad look and not listen to me anyway. If she wants to risk her life then let her do it I say.

Work was the same, just the same. My co-workers saw me the same way as when I first got there. My boss still saw me as a troubled no good kid. My job was still hard as Hell, and was murder on my back. The weather was getting hotter which ment my work was getting harder and harder to do in a muggy factory, 'at least I wasn't working outside,' I'd always tell myself. But there was one thing that was going good. My favorite time of the week was when I would get my pay for my hours labor. Not just because of the money of course, but of the thought of it. Before I just felt pride in myself, but now I had self respect, or a least enough of it. I had done good work, honest work, and I was getting a honest pay from it. I really felt like a man every time I got payed. I wasn't a boy that ran away to help this girl out, I was a man suporting myself my home and a anouther person all at the age of 16. It was a good feeling. I guess seeing all the work Abe and Caleb did, even before they went off into the military at different times for different reasons, really got to me. I was always the baby of the family, and they where the men. But now I was a man, and I had joined their ranks so to speak, at least if felt so then. It really felt like then it was my time, my time to do good and be honest. It gave me confudance for my future. 

Then finally, on 24^th of May, Mady didn't come home that night, or the next day, or the day after that. Her few things where gone, and I had left for work that day ahead of her, so I didn't see what she took with her. She said nothing to me that morning and I said nothing to her. Our little home was gray, the city was quite. I called Mr Cleaner the first day she went missing, and then he said he didn't know. And I called him again and again he said he didn't know. Then on the forth day she was gone, I went to he's home, and when I got to the door he met me there and told me I wasn't allowed inside, then I looked him in the eyes and asked where was Mady again, and all he said was that I had to leave. I couldn't hear anyone inside, not even he's noisy kids, though I could have sworn I'd heard noise inside before. I wasn't as tall as him, but my eyes could almost reach he's own, and I feel the tenssness around him, he's eyes shown nothing but hate, and through I hated to remember because it disturbs me too much, he smelled like me too, and Mady, he smelled like my appartment. “What the Hell is going on here?!” I asked, nearly spitting in he's face. “Get away from my house Ed. Your not welcome here.” He almost said it like I was a real threat, maybe not to him, but a threat non the less, like I had done something wrong. “Where is Mady?” I asked as I moved in closer to he's face, and he didn't move back. “Go, Ed. Now.” “What did you do?” Suddenly he put he's hands on the coller of my shirt and I acted just as quick by digging one of my nails into he's arm and the other I gave him two punches in the face, but I couldn't reach for a third one because he actually lifted me off of the ground with my coller, making it horribly hard to breath. Then after holding me in the air for a few seconds he thrown me to the ground two steps down from where we stood before on the sidewalk. Something about the way my head got hit that I couldn't think at, I just stood up and starting swinging at him. He swung back and hit me right in the face. At some point he thrown me back again and made me fall agaent the sidewalk again. “Stay away from her, fuck off Ed.” I wanted to get up, but I just couldn't. He shut the door on me and I was left there. Laying on the side walk outside in front of everyone who came by made me feel very naked, and helpless. There was blood on my face, and in the back of my head, enough that where was splats of blood on the sidewalk. I went home that way, anyone that saw me walking by looking like that they walked away from me. And to speak honestly I went into my lonely appartment laid my head agenst my pillow and then got it bloody. I just laid there for nearly half a hour hardly thinking of anything important, or maybe I did, I can't remember. And then after a time I just stayed there all night and cried like a baby. I don't want to talk about it. 

I left without warning. I didn't tell my boss I was going, I didn't even sign out of my appretment, I didn't keep anything that was in the apparetment other then my cowboy hat and the old flashlight Abe given me that Mady left behind. I didn't bring a backpack or a bag so I had to wear my hat and carry my flash light. I of course kept all of my money as I went. I had a fine deal, fine enough for what I could do. At least I could bring home something good. I walked for fours days, by the forth I was of course hungery, I'd found water before but not any food in nature, then again I wasn't really looking. I wasn't going fast by any means, but at that rate I'd die before I got to town. I waited around for cars that went by and tried to get their attension, I guess I looked so ruff a lot of them didn't want to stop for me at all. But After about a hour of light walking and trying to pick up a ride someone stopped for me, the man driving a dark gray truck was very good to me, and drived me the rest of the way to Mell-Tunnel, because he was going the same way as me. It was actually raining by the time I got out, which I wasn't sure if I liked it or not, on one hand it felt good and the other I didn't want my clothes getting wet, and worse my wallet with my money inside. But it's not like it was pouring or anything so I decided just too just enjoy it. Only cars where passing by because no one but me was outside, which was good because I didn't want to exsplain myself to anyone but Deb. By the time I got to my old home my legs where so sore I was ready to fall down. Luckly for me we never once bothered locking the front door, so I was able to get in without having much trouble. 

I stepped inside and emiditly stood my shoes off next to the door and felt my hat on the table. The lights wheren't on in the kicten or the living room. Halfway through the kicten I looked down and saw Gdynia at my feet. He looked older since I last saw him, and sadder too, but he always looked sad after Caleb left. He sniffed my shoeless socks and then when I bent down and started petting him, he laid down besides my feet and let me. I wispered very quitely to him, so no one upstairs could hear me. “Hey buddie, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in a coon's age.” Of course he didn't talk back, but it almost seemed like he nodded for a second. After petting him a few more times on the head and upper back, I got up off the floor and walked into the living room, Gdynia followed me into the living room and stopped near the couch and he laid down to sleep the second he hit the floor. Carefully I stood near the bottom of the stairs and called. “Hello? Anyone up there? It's me Ed.” 

There was some rumbling upstairs, and a few short quite words, then after that Deb stepped out of a doorway. She was wearing a long white night grone and her hair was a little longer then it was when I left, she stared at me blankely for a moment, then quickly went down the stairs and stood next to me when I moved out of the way so she could stand next to me. “Ed? Why are you back? Is...” She shook her head. “Is Mady with you?” I rubbed my leg and signed. “No, she's gone. She wanted to stay in the city. She ah, didn't want to come home with me I guess.” It took her a second but Deb nodded slowly. “Why are you back?” She asked. “Because- well she doesn't need me anymore.” Again Deb nodded, and tied her night goan around herself again. “Has Caleb been writing?” “Caleb? Oh, only one letter, last week actually. He's hanging in there, uh.. You should go take a shower Ed you smell.” She blushed after saying that, not thinking before she spoke, but I just nodded. “Right, I'd love to. But first.” I pulled out my wallet and handed it over to her. “You can have all the money hear. I don't want any of it that I saved up there. It's the only way I can repay you now.” Gingerly she took it from my hands, but she didn't even look into it before she suddenly hugged me. “I missed you.” She said. “Oh... I missed you too.”

                                     Act 2

                               A Book End

I lifted up some from where I was sitting a little and narrowed my eyes, then after I identified what I was looking at I leaned back into my chair, crossed my legs and looked down. He was ruining my western fantasy, sitting on a old rocking chair with my tan cowboy hat, this one was newer though and a real old one probably from the 1880s, old Theo Cox gave it too me for my birthday this year. The person that was coming to me was Aidyn Hall. But this wasn't the young happy Aidyn Hall that was my play mate way back when, the creative happy one, this was Aidyn Hall the ever working cold faced hard ass who periodically come up to be trying to beat the shit out of me. It was borderline a game we played, we where farely even matched, I was older taller and had been ruff housing with my brothers all my life, but Aidyn didn't play around when he made to fight me, he wanted to make my life awful every time he saw me outside of my home till I'd leave town. Or at least that's what I thought he'd thought of me. Really though whoever won either fight didn't matter, what mattered if who came out more mad. “Look up Ed! Get off of your porch!” We never fought on each other's property, and right now he was standing right next to my front steps, and no close. Long times ago Aidyn used to be welcome in that house, and I in he's (not that I'd ever go in there before or now) but now we where enimies. “I'm resting Aidyn.” I said not looking up from my shade of my hat. “I don't care, get up now!” “My brother is home Aidyn.” That shut him up just for one second, but he was back on the same track. “Get up Ed!” Abe was home, and that could worry him. “Fine, fine. I know you missed me.” Slowly and tiredly I stood up, left my hat back onto the chair I got out of. I could barely step off of my porch until punched me right in the chest, and we where off. I moved away from him, jumped a few times next to him probably showing off how much taller then him I was, then I pushed him away from me. After he gathered himself he jumped right at me and he tried pushing me right in the face and then we where just off. Soon we where roiling around on the ground like cats. He hit my neck a few times, he always hit my neck, and I always tried crushing he's face. That was what we always did. A few times he punched he right in the nose, and he got me real got there so good my blood actually fell a little on he's face. Right as I was about to fall to the ground, from above of me was yelled. “Get out of here!” Of course it was Abe, no one could yell louder then Abe when a problem was on he's lawn. Aidyn crallwed off of me on the ground, and seeing we where still on my lawn Aidyn gave me and Abe a bad look then walked away back into town without saying a word.

I slowly moved off of the messy moved around dirt and stood up in front of Abe. He wore a white tank top and long brown pants, and keeping up with the theme of he's life though he was 26 he looked like he was about to turn 40. After he left the military half a year ago he grown out he's bread again, and now it was long enough I nearly forgotten already what he's face actually looks like. “Can't you just run that guy over with the car and get it over with?” Abe asked as I stepped back onto the porch and put back on my hat after wiping my lightly red face. “Where's the fun in that?” Abe shook he's head and stepped back inside, and I sat back down and kept watch again, the family home protected again.

It had been two years since Mady and Caleb left, and I hadn't seen either of them since. Of course there isn't any signs of Mady, and I wouldn't want there to be. But Caleb seemingly can't write anymore, because he hasn't in a year's time. At this point it feels like either he's going to show up one day randomly, or where going to get a death note from the government. But I still remember what he told me, and I have faith in him. Abe came back from the military, apprently there was a government plan to where every few years he'd get payed less and less for he's work, but since he just gotten out of there half a year ago he didn't feel the need to find work yet, and mainly stayed around home most of the day and did outside and inside work. When he wasn't working he was spending time with Deb. Deb seemed at peace more then ever. She forgiven her sister fully, and outright told me to not hold onto hate like she did. She was now 21, and everyone was waiting for her to find a husband. She was a working woman in the Church, and some working woman never settal down, and this was seeming getting to Abe and worry him. There was a anouther person working in the Church besides Mr Rivers the preacher and Deb, a anouther man that was working too being the new preacher after Mr Rivers. Everyone wanted Deb to marry him mostly, he was a respectable guy but Abe didn't want Deb too because the guy was 13 years older then Deb. Deb never brought up the prospect of her getting married, though she did talk of nameing a child Carry someday. But more or less Deb was the same as she ever was. Becky was more busy then ever. She still lived in Pennsylvania, and only really came here every half a  year or so, but she had a good reason. A year ago she and her husband Sammy had twin baby girls. They weren't identical but they where both pink skinned and had black hair. They both had a nice mix of both parents, pinker skin their their father, black hair like their mother. Thicker smaller bodies like their father, small hands and feet like their mother. Like Abe and Becky it was a hard birth, though it was harder on Becky then it was on the babies, unlike how it seemed like Becky was born dead when she first came, and Abe couldn't have made it now. But even though the girls where born small, we had to keep in mind that Abe was born small weak and quite, and clearly he wasn't that same drying naked baby anymore. The girls names where Lily Hazes and Judy Hazes. They seemed like very different people, but never wanted to be appart, though they where both only 1 year old right now. Whenever Becky and her family came over it was a joy to have them here. Abe never seemed to say much about them other then that they where good babies. Though he acted like he had a certain pride to them. He's thigns where so big he could easily sit both of them on he's legs, but he's favorite seemed to be Judy. Maybe because she was more out going, or maybe it was because Lily cried more and was generally a worse baby, even if it wasn't her fault. I loved them as much as anyone else did, though the thought always came of did Caleb get the letter we sent telling him about the babies. Weather or not he really got it I have no idea. It was worrying.

I got a new job, one working in the same bank Caleb used to work in, they let me have a small job because they liked a missed my brother so much. Actually they said sveral times that when he came back Caleb would have the job back as soon as he wanted. Really life when on about the same as it always did, besides the hole Hall clan but Luis rejecting me. Really even though I had a sibling who's life was probably on the line wherever he was, life did feel set in more or less to me, or at least for me.

Despite being 18, I felt no need to leave home. I was there by my own will, no one wanted me gone and I didn't want to leave again, at least for now. That was until April of 1966, when Becky sent me a letter adressed only to me. Deb went out in the morning to get it herself, as I went out so early for work (luckly came back early too.) so she always got it every day after Caleb left. When I got back that day Mathew wasn't feeling well, so he was asleep upstairs, and Edith was down stairs sitting in her chair with Deb sitting in Mathew's normal spot. “Oh, finally your back.” Deb said as I came in, she was crossing her legs and had a hand on her face. “Yep, what's going on?” Deb pointed over to the letter resting on the table near the chairs. “Becky herself sent a letter. But apparently it's just for you. Don't know why.” When I walked over and picked the thin thing up, it seemed that Deb was right, over it was bright red words saying. 'this is just for Ed- (Don't peek Deb!)' and indeed the letter hadn't been touched yet. “Oh, that's odd.” Was all I could think to say. Droping my work bag in the middle of the floor I walked over to the couch and sat down, opening the letter with my nails. Normally Deb would have complained at me for leaving it on the ground, but right now she was so interested in what I was doing, all she could do was stare and watch. “Deb-” I said as nicely as I could. “Can I not have a audience?” “Oh, sure. But tell me what she says please.” “I think,” Started Edith, not looking away from the TV. “If that Becky girl hadn't only wanted Ed to see, she would have made that more clear.” Deb shrugged her shoulders and turned away from me to look back at the TV, though I'm sure she wasn't actually watching it. Becky always had very neat hand writing, so she was able to pack a lot in a small piece of paper, even if she did write a little on the back.

“Hello Ed. I'm sorry if this letter was hard to keep away from Deb, if Abe wonders if something bad has happened because of this letter, tell him nothing is out of order and that I will be sending him a private letter in a few days actually. Only for you and Abe though, but if you want to tell Deb then by all means you can, I just didn't want her knowing something you didn't want her to know, this is your bussness. 

Anyway, you wouldn't believe what has happened, but though he's work Sammy has gotten into touch with mine and Abe's father! We've been writing each other as of late, and he wants to see me and Abe soon, and he's two grandchildren. I'm sure Abe will come, but here's something else. My 'father' has been in light contact with all of our other fathers too, and apprently your father Mr Ender wants to see you again too! No word from everyone else's fathers. But Deb's was a scary man as I remember him, and Caleb is off at war so of course he can't come, probably wouldn't even if he could! You don't have too write back, all you have to do is either come to my home with Abe, and we'll sort it out there, or you can stay home. Either way I wouldn't blame you, though I would like to remind you that as I known him, Mr Ender seemed like a very nice man, and liked you a lot before we did what we did all thoughs years ago. So if I where you I would come, but if not I understand. 

Your deer sister Becky.”

As you can guess, that surprised me. I leaned back into the couch, and rubbed my neck a little. “What did she say?” Deb asked looking over the chair she was sitting at. “Here, see yourself.” leaned back and handed her the paper, and while she read what I just did I scotted back into my seat. Really I hadn't thought about Mr Ender since me and Mady ran away, and after that he was gone from my mind again, I couldn't really remember he's face or body anymore or what he sounded like, or what he's first name was. Really the only thing I know for sure about him is the last name. So seeing him for about a week wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Abe had he's own car besides the family one, so he could take us, and I had only taken one break since getting my bank job so they'd probably let me go for 8 days or so, however long it would take me to get from Texas to Pennsylvania and back, or the 'tip of Texas,' as Deb called it here. “Wow,” Deb finally said breathlessly, then handed the paper back over too Edith so she could try and read it, even though her reading English was only so so, really in the end Deb had to read it out loud before we could all discuss it. “Should... Should we just tell Abe now? Or wait for him to get he's letter?” Deb sugested. “Just tell him now.” Edith waved her hand, actually paying attension to the rest of us now. “yeah, knowing him he'll probably want to drive there, say hi then come back in the same day.” I laughed. “Mhh, your right. Well what about it Ed? Are you going?” Deb asked, leaning closer to me and away from her chair. I shrugged. “I don't have a reason not too. Though that does sound a little, uh, akward.” Deb nodded. “I'm sure it would be, it's been so long since we ran off.” “Mhh, I don't even know how you lot made it out all the way here.” Edith said, now turning back to her TV. “It was a team effort. And we weren't bad kids.” Deb said, glanceing at me hoping I'd remember something new about our old jouney. “You where very sick though most of the time, you know that Ed?” “Oh yeah!” Edith laughed a little. “He was so ill by the time he got here, that he didn't get better for two more weeks!” Edith said, in a joking light hearthed sort of way that didn't really fit what she was talking about. “Well clearly it wore off, because I'm as fit as a horse!” I said, shutting my eyes and puffing out my chest in mok pride. “Maybe a lame horse.” We all turned our heads, and in came Abe wearing working clothes and thick brown gloves, he must have just came in from helping out one of the nebours with their car problems. “Oh Abe!” Said Deb as she picked up the letter from her lap and handed it over to he's gloved hand making the paper dirty. “This is for Ed, but you have to read it!” Abe glanced at the letter, then to Deb, and back down to the letter. Me and Deb looked at each other and back to Abe as we waited for him to get done reading. When he got done reading he sat the letter down on the small table near the two chairs and when he started walking up the stairs he said. “Got nothing better to do with my time anyway.”

Funny enough, no one seemed to sad to see me go. Everyone said things along the lines of  'hope it go's well, see you!' of course I just told everyone in town besides my close friends that I was just going to see Becky. Most people in town didn't know that all my siblings where half ones, and that we all had different fathers. Most people just known that are parents where dead and Mathew and Edith kindly took us in, which was true. Abe just wanted to get it done, so he didn't even want to wait for he's letter to come, he didn't seem very happy the day he got the letter, but he never said what was in it, and none of us saw it after he took it in the basement where we sleep. I could only leave work for a week and a half, which was fine by me. We where in Abe's long thin gray green car soon, and we left early in the day.

On the road Abe talked more then normal, which was nice because it was a little akward sitting in the front of the car with him if he didn't talk and I had to do all of it. Normally in a the few times we where alone and I wanted to talk, he'd just let me go on and on and never really comtribute. But now even he was bring up topics! He'd start off like. “I know you never left the countrey Ed, but if you ever do we should go to England. People there where a little... Odd, but the buildings in both London and more rural places where more beautful in my eyes.” “You want to go to England with me?” I turned over to him and laughed a little. “You know, if Deb wasn't so into her work, I bet I could get the hole family out there, but I don't know what to do about Becky's family, not sure what she'd want to do.” “Your not getting Mathew and Edith back in Europe. And even without them that'd be 7 people you'd be trying to get into England for like a two week trip, that'd be awful!” “I have the money to do it, I wasn't in England long in the military, but I'd love to go back there out of work.” “Why don't you just go there alone?” “Because I spent enough time away from this family.” And the conversation went on and on like you'd think it would. 

We got to Becky's home in a day and a half. Becky's home wasn't a large one, there wasn't many rooms. But it was full of nice things and nicer people. They all seemed happy to have the us. Sammy was busy with work so he couldn't see us much. As soon as Abe got out of the shower he took Judy and only Judy out of the cribe and sat her on top of he's lap. Lity cried without her sister so Becky had to take her into her arms, one twin holding a anouther. I felt a little out of place there, I hadn't been in Pennsylvania since I was 5, and I had truly taken on the Texan look. Even my voice sounded like a Texan's voice, none of my other siblings had that kind of voice, besides maybe Caleb who had the same quite self reserved male shyness of men over there had. The people around Becky's home where too well dressed, too 'high and mighty'. And I hated the weather up hear, it was too cold and rainy. I just couldn't connect with my homeland. 

The day we got there was the same day we where going to met our 'fathers' again, now adults. Becky had apprently already seen her father just once, but Abe hadn't of course. It was night, and because of that Becky had to keep the outside lights on so they could drive up more easly. Sammy took the baby girls upstairs so we could have some privasly. Becky and Abe sat on the couch, and I leaned agesnt the wall. First came Mr Jasper. He walked in with a light glide and quickly he's eyes looked over both of the twins in a quite cold way. He was bold, tall and so very thin. Overall he looked tucked in and well formed, but I never thought Abe's father would be so thin, Abe couldn't be that thin if he starved to death. He looked more like Becky. Abe looked like our mother's father, I've seen pictures of him and he was a beast even bigger then Abe. “Ah..” Mr Jasper nodded, then out reached he's hand to Abe and they shook it like bussness men. “It's good to see you again...” Abe nodded at that. “Right, you look good.” Abe lied. Mr Jasper really did have clothes that looked like they came from the 1940s, besides he's belt maybe. “Your... big.” Mr Jasper said akwardly. Abe nodded. “Do people call you Abe or Abraham now?” The father asked. “Still Abe. The only person that ever called me that all the time was a old friend I had in the military.” Jasper nodded. “Right. I heard you where in the military, are you out now?” Abe nodded. “Good, good. Well you seem well off enough I suppose.” Then Mr Jasper sat down on a near by chair. “What job do you have?” “None right now. I'm on a small break, but I'm looking.” “That's fine. You should try getting into marketing, your the right age.” Abe cringed a little and fermly said. “I don't want that sort of life.” Mr Jasper nodded again. “I imagine. Abe I-” He shook he's head to himself, then crossed he's legs. “I want to see my grandchildren now. And my son in law.” Becky nodded and took up quickly and walked upstairs in a very woman like way. Mr Jasper took a good look over me then turned back to Abe. “Is he that little one? That's Eddie right?” Abe nodded, and I forgot that was legally my name. “Well, hello Eddie.” He reached he's hand out and I came in closer and shook it. “Hello Mr Jasper. Nice to meet you.” He nodded. “you used to be really cute, I can't even tell who you are if it wasn't for your hair color.” The way he said that made me cringe a little inside myself, and I backed off and leaned again agesnt the wall. Abe glanced at me but before he could say anything, Sammy holding Lily and Becky holding Judy came down. The girls where asleep, Sammy looked shy in a male way, and Becky was smiling as wide as thoughs 40s drawings of Santa Claws would be smiling. Akwardly Mr Jasper reached out he's arms for the girls and while Becky gave him Judy with ease, Sammy gave him Lily more slowly and only after looking him over. The second they where put into their grandfather's arms they started crying in a shrill baby way. And just for one second he looked like he was going to cry too, but he put that face away. “Lily and Judy huh? Fine names.” He said in a dull way, I guess because he wanted boys, that's the only reason I could think of. “There good kids.” Sammy said blankly, keeping he's eyes on Mr Jasper. Suddenly I heard the noises of a car coming near by soon to park outside, and I looked over to everyone else in the room and said “I'll go out and see him first, be back soon.” everyone nodded and I walked out of the living room into the cold night air. It was never this cold at night in Texas, not even in winter, and it was only June now! The car that parked near by was as I suddenly remembered, the same one he had when I was a child, I didn't even know that I could remember that. The lights were still inside so I could see the person inside looking at me. He smiled very wide and then stepped out. I don't remember what he looked like a decade ago, but I'll tell you what he looks like now. He's somewhat fat, but well groomed and wears nice clothes like white work shirts and dress brown pants. He has hair like mine only more thin on top. A very round bright creeked happy face, and this really big taccy watch on he's right arm. He put he's hands to he's hips and looked me over from top to bottom, really it made me feel weird so I was glad it was dark out and there was a good 10 feet apart from us. He grinned so wide at me. “Wow... Just wow.” He said, in a voice that matched he's looks. “Your great! God Lord in Heaven!” Before I could get away he took two big steps to me and rapped he's arms around me, sqeezing me. I didn't do anything back beyond signing slightly in pain. “You look just like your older brother!” If it wasn't for the fact that my face was over he's shoulder, I would have probably given him a weird look, given I looked nothing like Abe or Caleb. “... Nice to met you too, Mr Ender...” He pulled me away from him then took my hand really hard in a very friendly way, like we where old buddies from school. “You can just call me dad! We have the same last name after all so that's dad would just make more sense you know!” Up close I could really see he's age better, he looked more fitting to be my grandfather then dad. “Oh... Most people call me Ed Lois, not Ed Ender. That sounds a little weird.” Mr Ender shook he's head. “No no no! Eddie you don't want people calling you Lois, that's a girl's name! No offense. Now if I had named you as a baby I would have named you something from the Bible. Like that Abe kid- oh wow...” I put he's hand to he's head and laughed. “Abe kid, ha! He's 25 now isn't he?” “26 actually.” I corrected, and Mr Ender laughed again harder. “Wow, I haven't seen you in so long. I thought you where dead...” Then he's tone quick as a light lost all good gayness. “I thought you where dead Eddie. To think you where in Texas this hole time, you could have been in Japan for all I known...” He looked at me in a more tender way that made me step back a little. “God your as tall as me.” He made to hug me again but I put my hand up and quickly said. “It's cold out here, let's go inside please.” He shurgged and quickly turned around, making to go inside with me. 

Inside Mr Ender shaked everone's hands, he even shook Lily's and Judy's hands and they just looked up at him wondering. He sat down on the couch right next to me which made me a little uneasy, and he just started talking and laughing in a very happy go lucky way. He always seemed to want to put he's hand on my shoulder or my back. I was used to Deb doing that too me a lot, she was by nature a touchy person, but someone I didn't know all that well doing it too me felt weird, but I let him none the less. Things went swimingly that night, made me wish Deb was there she would have liked the mood. Mr Jasper sat and held he's not so happy grand children. Becky leaned in close to her husband and watched the room with a face flushed with pride at her work. Sammy and Abe talked on and off most of the night among themsleves, it was nice seeing Abe get along with Sammy so well now, and that he trusted this man with he's twin sister. The two girls cried on and off a lot, but since most everyone was talking most people ingored them until they got hungery and Becky had to make them both bottles. I just listened instead of doing much of the talking, and of course, all night long Mr Ender talked about the fun things him and me could go and do now, he even offered to come to visit me in Texas a few times, I told him he didn't have too but from the way he talked about it, I'm sure he was going to do it weather I wanted him to or not. At one point he mensioned two things that really got to me, one he talked about how he made up a little room for me in the attic when I was 5 and that I never got to use it. And two, he brefly thought importantly mensioned he's son, he's other son. I honestly forgotten I had a anouther brother, not Abe or Caleb, but one named Col. One that died in WW2 a long long time ago. It sliped my mind so easly about Col when I was little, because I had my siblings and not this weird foren dead half brother, who died before I could have ever met him. But he was just as much as a sibling as any of my other 'real' siblings where. And apprently I looked like him too, so there was a brother I did look like. Really it made me wonder if he hadn't died in the war, maybe we could have been good friends. And it really made me worry for my other brother that's still in a war.

                                    The end