Poetry Collection

I did say these were all pretty angsty, didn't I?

Anyway, this one was from around grade ten or eleven or something.

Shower Dysphoria

Closed door.
A wave of defeat.
Don't look.

Don't look don't look don’t look.

Closed eyes.
First goes the shirt.
No matter what,
Don't look.

Don't look in the mirror.

Keep your eyes closed,
And pretend.

It's futile.

Even with closed eyes,
I can feel it.

That alien weight on my chest.

Step into the tub.
You can open your eyes, now.
It doesn't matter anymore.

A mirror can't reflect self-loathing
If you aren't in the frame.

Feel the artificial rain on
What I think is my body.
Scream.

Scream loudly,
Painfully, into your mind.
Hope the anguish disappears
With your voice.

Practice your empty smile.

Ignore the word that pulses with
Every heartbeat.

Liar, liar, liar.

Step out.
Clothes back on.

Is it my eyes that deceive,
Or my head?

I don't understand myself.

Not a girl!
My heart yells. 

Not a boy!
My eyes argue.

Well, then,
What am I?