Kabedonnevali

Bonnevali anxiously plodded up the forest slope. Hoisting herself up onto a rock, she turned around and offered her hands to Aebel. He sized up the rock, shouldered his camera equipment, and after a moment of hesitation, accepted both her hands. She pulled him up with a powerful hoist! It was so sudden Aebel nearly lost his footing.

“Careful! Don’t hurt yourself!” Bonnevali cautioned, steadying him on the rock. Aebel found his footing, gripping her hands as he steadied himself, Bonnevali gripped his hands back, almost instinctively pulling him close to her. Her cheeks heated up as she realized what she’d almost done but Aebel didn’t seem to notice.

“Thanks,” Aebel said to her, letting go of her hands and dusting himself off. As he looked around at the tall trees around them and perked up at a bird, Bonnevali found herself growing more flustered. Ginny said Aebel cared about her, Raux had said he had a crush on her. Could he really? She had resolved to bring him out here and tell him how she felt, but…

“Is it okay if we pause here so I can take some pictures?” Aebel asked, turning his head to look at Bonnevali and interrupting her train of thought. Bonnevali jumped a little.

“You- oh! Sure.” She said. Aebel smiled at her, and she felt her heart flutter before he turned away, going to get his camera equipment out. Bonnevali folded her arms, grabbing at her triceps as she watched him work, her heart beating a little faster before slowing down and then beating faster again. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

Finally she moved to sit down on a rock. Her anxiety melted slightly watching him excitedly take pictures, she rested her chin in her hands and her tail began to sway against the forest floor, rustling the fallen leaves. Aebel looked up, glancing back over to her at hearing the noise, causing Bonnevali’s tail to go rigid and her heartbeat to pick right back up, her anxiety returning. Aebel frowned.

“Bonnevali? Are you okay?” His brow furrowed slightly and Bonnevali felt her chest rise to her throat.

“No!” Bonnevali exclaimed, a little over eagerly. “No, I’m fine!” Aebel looked far from convinced. He set his camera down gently on the ground and jogged over to where she was sitting. Bonnevali squirmed, wanting him to go back to what he was doing. Not now! Not here! She’d wanted to bring him somewhere specific, she-. Bonnevali’s face got hotter and hotter thinking about what she was doing.

Aebel came and sat down next to her on the rock, making her sit even more rigidly. Aebel looked at her with concern, her heart fluttered again seeing that expression on his face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly. Bonnevali leaned away from him, feeling overwhelmed. Her heart hammered in her chest and she couldn’t speak. She moved her mouth, trying to speak, but no words came out. She finally managed to clear her throat.

“No! Thank you. Um.” She stood up quickly, moving away from Aebel. She turned around, not looking at him, and folded her arms. “I- um. I’ll tell you, but. But let’s wait until we get to where I wanted to show you. Okay?” She gulped, waiting for his reply for what seemed like forever.

“...Alright… If that’s what you’re most comfortable with.” He sounded confused. Bonnevali squeezed her biceps and shut her eyes tight for a moment. ‘Pull yourself together!’ “Do you want me to stop taking pictures so we can keep going?”

“No! Er- well, if you want to.” Bonnevali turned to face him, still gripping her biceps. He raised an eyebrow at her, making an expression she couldn’t understand.

---

Aebel moved over to his photography equipment without saying a word, he could tell Bonnevali was anxious to get something over with, and his own heart felt wishy washy thinking what it could be. He thought back to what Ginny had said to him not long after he’d returned from Fabrem. And then the smirk Raux had given him before he’d left with Bonnevali this morning.

He felt an anxious pit in his stomach alongside a feeling of gleeful anticipation. It was a strange sensation. He had assumed Raux was just smirking and trying to tease him like she always did, but now… He glanced back over at Bonnevali while he put away his equipment. She was standing rigidly still, squeezing her upper arms and looking anxious. He furrowed his brow again, he didn’t like it when she was upset.

He shouldered his equipment, reflecting on Ginny’s advice about making the first move. He felt his face heat up and he shook his head with agitation. ‘No. I’ll wait for her to make the first move. …But who am I kidding, it’s probably nothing, she probably has something else bothering her, I need to be able to help her with that.’

“Ready to go?” He called to her, trying not to look troubled or flustered. Bonnevali looked after him with a pained expression.

“You didn't have to stop taking pictures.” She protested, moving toward him. Aebel shrugged.

"It's a forest. It's not going anywhere." He said plainly with a faint smile, turning his palms up in a 'whatever' gesture. Bonnevali blinked, her brow unfurrowed and raised, looking a little surprised.

---

Bonnevali’s tail began to sway against her will. She tried to reign in her excitement but she was too giddy from Aebel prioritizing her for any guilt at distracting him from his photography to hold sway.

'Hold your horses there Bonnevali,' she thought. 'just because Aebel is a good person who puts people first doesn't mean there's anything special about you.' Bonnevali's brow furrowed again slightly and she sighed quietly.

---

Aebel wasn’t exactly picking up and understanding all of Bonnevali’s cues, but he could still tell something was wrong, and he didn’t like it. He wanted so badly to reach out and hold her hand, to try and provide some kind of comfort - and just to hold her hand - but he couldn’t, he didn’t.

They walked together through the forest, the rest of the hike passing in relative silence. Aebel tried on multiple occasions to strike up conversation, to varying degrees of success. He would get her talking, get her smiling, and then she’d look at him and falter. It was distressing.

After this happened for the third time a thought occurred to Aebel that distressed him even more. What if the thing that was bothering Bonnevali wasn’t that she was in love with him like Ginny had suggested, but that she was in love with someone else? Ginny must have noticed Bonnevali was in love, and had assumed it was with him. Raux must have told her he liked her, and she was taking him out here to reject him. A sinking feeling of despair and dread settled in Aebel’s stomach, he made no further attempts to speak after that.

---

With dismay Bonnevali noticed Aebel’s sudden pained expression after his third failed attempt at having a conversation with her. She felt a flare of anguish and quickly turned to rail against herself for hurting Aebel with her unresponsiveness. She desperately just wanted to get there and get this over with.

But lucky for her it wasn’t long before they arrived at their destination. They moved around the trunk of a fallen tree, the tiniest trickle of water running under it. Bonnevali led Aebel up a steeper incline, covered thick with grass and speckled with rocks, relatively free of trees and undergrowth. Cresting the peak of the hill and rounding a bend, the tall coniferous trees opened up into a sunny clearing, a massive tree at its center. Turning to the left the surrounding trees opened up to reveal a slightly overhead view of a waterfall crashing down some 80 meters away.

The sun shined down through the canopy, the light played off the wet pink and purple stone below, sparkling and dancing over the water. The waterfall poured off into a pool of water, which then flowed out of the little valley and down the mountain in the direction they’d come from.

Despite Aebel’s previous gloom his eyes went wide with wonder at the view, then wider when he spotted a huge, lone edemian buck. It flicked its four ears, approaching the water and looking around. As it confidently strode forward several smaller deer followed. Two smaller bucks and a handful of does. Aebel fumbled with his camera, eager to capture the moment, and eager to forget about and delay his anticipated rejection.

Bonnevali stood back and watched him, trying to enjoy his excitement, but her mounting anxiety was more than she could distract herself from. After several minutes she could bear it no longer, she cleared her throat and shifted on her feet, moving toward Aebel. Aebel looked up at her, his ears perked up but he had a look of despair on his face. It hurt Bonnevali to see it, but she couldn’t imagine why he was looking at her like that. Her stomach tied in knots and her head hurt.

“Aebel, um. Can I talk to you now?” She asked, feeling her already fluttery heart speed up. Aebel perked up from his camera and toward her, a pained look on his face. ‘This is it,’ he anguished. ‘This is where she rejects me.’ But he swallowed hard and stood to face her, moving over to her where she stood under the giant tree, his heart sinking more with each step, he steeled himself to hear it. He would not cry.

“Bonnevali, before you say anything-” he started, standing hardly a few feet away from her with his back to the tree. But he was cut off as Bonnevali’s hands slammed against the tree on either side of him. He jumped, stunned, Bonnevali almost equally so, she really hadn’t meant to be that aggressive. But riding her accidental momentum she didn’t let herself hesitate any longer, ‘This is it!’ she mentally exclaimed.

And so, barely daring to think, she kissed him. It was a hard and fast kiss - she was so high on adrenaline and couldn’t muster anything else. As she quickly pulled her lips away from his, he stared at her with a look of utter shock and befuddlement. He didn’t- He couldn’t- WHAT??? His face grew hotter and hotter, and, so shocked he’d forgotten how to balance, he swayed before tipping over and falling face first into the grass.

“Wh- Aebel!!” Bonnevali yelped, diving to her knees next to him. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay??” Aebel rolled over onto his back, not even processing the pain or the ground beneath, his shock melting away into a feeling of pure ecstasy.

“Hey Bonn?” He asked breathlessly, turning his head to look at her. Her curly hair was mostly up in a bun, but her wavy bangs fell around her face, slightly obscuring one of her eyes. Her brow was furrowed and her expression worried, worried for him. Every muscle on her face, everything about her demeanor, every shift in her eyes - looking at her now Aebel felt like he was melting from how adorable and beautiful she was.

“Hm?” Bonnevali responded to his question, perking up and furrowing her brow further. Aebel leaned his head back in the grass, closing his eyes and soaking up the floating-on-clouds sensation of the moment.

“Can you kiss me again...?” He spoke with a dreamy look on his face. Bonnevali’s ears and shoulders shot up with surprise, her face somehow managing to get even hotter.

“Kiss you… again? O-okay.” She scooted closer to him on her knees, then hesitated. Aebel cracked an eye open to look at her after a second of nothing. Seeing her flustered expression he grinned at her, sitting up onto his knees too.

“Here, how about I kiss you instead.” He leaned in closer and Bonnevali felt her heart rate speed up. She tensed, and after a moment of hesitation, unable to speak, she nodded shyly. Aebel smiled broadly at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back. Leaning in closer Aebel rested a hand behind her ear, gently pulling her face closer to his. He hovered there for a second, relishing the moment. And then finally he kissed her.

He gently pressed his lips against hers, holding them there much longer than Bonnevali’s panicked kabedon kiss. Compared to the experience of that kiss Bonnevali felt a wonderful relief, her anxiety slipped away and was replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling. She leaned into the kiss, not wanting Aebel to pull away. She leaned her whole body forward, sitting up on her knees and placing her hands in the grass on either side of him.

After a beautiful, blissful, fleeting eternity, the kiss ended. Bonnevali took a breath of fresh air, smelling not only the forest but Aebel’s wonderful floral scent, the smell she’d missed for so long when he was in Fabrem. It had lingered in his house for awhile, but faded as the months of her house sitting dragged on. But now Aebel was here, and he had kissed her. Bonnevali felt the same ecstasy Aebel did. Aebel let out a dreamy sigh.

“I love you Bonnevali.” He said, tilting his head at her with a rapt, dazed, look in his eyes. Bonnevali beamed at him, a soaring feeling in her chest. She threw her arms around him, burying her face in the flower on his neck, the smell wonderfully intoxicating.

“I love you too.” She mumbled into his neck. Aebel laughed, wrapping his own arms around her. As much as he loved feeling her face against his neck, he pulled her away from the flower.

“Careful, if you keep your nose in there for too long you’re going to get a migraine. Or worse.” Bonnevali began to protest, but broke into a wheeze. Aebel laughed again, pulling her closer against him and guiding her head to the flowerless side of his neck. Bonnevali shifted, moving onto his lap, and rested her head where he guided it. After a moment she began to purr.

Aebel oriented himself so he could rest his back against the tree, Bonnevali nuzzled her snout against his neck. They sat there cuddling for a few minutes, Bonnevali’s purring subsiding.

“Aebel…?” Bonnevali lifted her head, speaking quietly.

“Hm?”

“...I missed you.” She buried her face in his neck again, her eyes beginning to sting. “I don’t want you to ever leave me for that long again. I don’t want- I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice broke, and a tear slipped down her cheek. She sniffled and wiped it off on Aebel’s shirt collar. Aebel leaned his head away, looking at her with concern before resting his head back on hers and squeezing her tighter.

“I’m not going anywhere, Bonn.” He assured her, rubbing her back. “And… I don’t want to go anywhere you aren’t.” Bonnevali squeezed him in response, shutting her eyes tight and rubbing her cheek against his neck.

“I love you Aebel.” She professed, louder and clearer than her previous mumbling into his flower. Aebel’s heart swelled, feeling like it would burst; so many times he’d fantasized about her saying that to him. He buried his own face in her neck, his tail thumping against the grass gleefully.

“I think- I think I’ve loved you for awhile now.” She continued. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about for the past seven months.” She pulled back and looked right into his eyes, making his heart skip a beat. “I just… I feel so at home when I’m with you. You make me feel…. You make me feel safe.” She blushed, wanting to glance away, but holding his gaze. She wouldn’t be a coward.

Aebel stared into her earnest eyes, he wasn’t sure he could even believe her. He made her feel safe? What had he ever done? His tail continued to thump against the ground. He smiled broadly at her. Wait- he should say something, he hadn’t responded yet.

“You’re so brave and strong Bonnevali…” He whispered. “And exciting. I love being with you. I love your… I don’t know how to describe it… You’re perfect.” He beamed. “You’re perfect and gorgeous and adorable. And I love it when you rely on me. I want to be there to hold you when you need holding.”

“Well I want to be held.” She mumbled with a smile, rubbing her face against his chest. “...And I need someone I can rely on.” She gave him another squeeze, mumbling even quieter. “I want that someone to be you.”

Aebel was the happiest he’d ever been. He pulled her in, hugging her as tight as he could, he kissed the top of her head and she began to purr again.

In that moment Bonnevali was reminded of something she had done years ago, something she had completely forgotten about. One night when she had been alone in the forest, her mind as dark as the sleeping mountains, she had prayed to Diaphlyn. She’d asked for someone, for a friend, someone she could finally be with without feeling lonely. She felt that now. Her tail swished against the ground like Aebel’s had earlier. She sent a silent thank you to Diaphlyn and smiled a deep, sincere smile; a feeling of warmth wrapped around and hugged her like Aebel’s arms, and she felt a happiness she couldn’t remember if she’d ever felt before.