Even Forever Doesn’t Last

Loki clung to his brother, tears streaming down his face. He buried his head in Thor's chest trying to calm himself but miserably failing.

He hadn't meant it. He really hadn't. It just sorta happened. And now stoic Thor and a crying Loki sat on the floor of the barn.

The horse was dead. Loki had killed him. Not intentionally of course but he had nonetheless. Thor had wanted to scream and shout at him at first but when the boy's tiny frame turned on his heels with an expression of sheer panic and fear he couldn't stay mad. Thor had loved his horse but not like he loved his brother. And if Loki had meant to do it on purpose Thor wouldn't have caught him. He'd learnt that long ago. If Loki was up to mischief (that often left Thor on the receiving end) Loki wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near when Thor realized who was to blame. He'd be hiding away in one of his many little nooks and crannies waiting out the blonde's temper.

This was different. Loki hadn't meant it. What exactly Loki had been trying to do, Thor wasn't sure. The boy was too worked up to get coherent words out that weren't 'I'm sorry' followed by more sobs. Besides, Loki often preferred the company of the horses over that of other Asgardians, so it was pretty obvious he would never intentionally harm one of them. Much less kill one.

Thor rubbed circles on the younger brother's back, trying to calm him down. Repeating over and over to him that it was okay. Loki still didn't seem to think so. "No it's not!" He finally screeched, gripping the front of Thor's tunic tighter. "He's dead...I...I..." He couldn't finish the rest of the sentence before dissolving once more into tears.

Thor sighed. "It wasn't on purpose." He pointed out still trying his hardest to console the raven haired boy. "He's in Valhalla now." He tried to keep his voice light and happy for him but it was difficult considering he was growing tired of Loki's constant denials of it being okay.

The boy's bright green eyes looked up to him, the tears dissolving for a moment to sniffles. "He is?" He asked hopefully.

"Of course he is." Thor smiled ruffling his raven hair.

Loki gave him a half smile and wrapped his tiny arms around his brother's neck; he'd always been fond of his brother's hugs. He didn't get them very often. "Thank you Thor." The younger muttered as he sat up to wipe his eyes.

It'd been a long time since the two had been that close, Loki realized with a twinge of regret in his gut. But he would never admit that he missed it. Not even to himself.

***

Sigyn frowned, snapping his fingers. “Loki.” He called, shifting his weight. “Where did you go there?” 

The god turned his eyes to the smaller man and sighed, running a hand through his long black hair. “Long ago. I’m fine.”

Sigyn’s frown only deepened, giving Loki a scrutinizing look. He knew him too well to know that he wasn’t in fact ‘fine’ and was lying. If anything Loki knew how to tell a convincing lie… but not to him. 

“You’re thinking about your brother.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. He knew the look. When Loki started thinking about how close he used to be with Thor. How they’d been practically inseparable as children. How the three of them used to play games. How Loki and Sigyn always managed to play tricks on Thor and get away with it. But now things were different. They weren’t even sure if they’d get the chance to see Thor again. And if they did he likely would not be on good terms with them. And by this point they were in too far over their heads to back out of… whatever it was that was happening. 

Loki shook his head. “Sigyn.. I don’t want to talk about my brother…he’s not even...”

“Don’t.” He warned, narrowing his eyes at him. He knew exactly what Loki had been about to say. The new revelation that he wasn’t Asgardian had really weighed on him. And Sigyn knew most of his anger towards Thor was being misplaced. Odin was the one to blame. “He’s still your brother, Loki. By blood or not.” 

Loki’s jaw clenched at being interrupted and corrected but he didn’t speak against Sigyn. He never did. Loki was unruly and unpredictable but one thing always remained; he was always good to Sigyn. Besides, he knew he was right, he just didn’t want to admit it. “Right.” He conceded, his eyes shifting from Sigyn to out over the city. “You’ve really been living here for the past year?” He asked, the lights of the city shining against his pale skin and setting Sigyn’s heart alight. 

He’d almost given up hope for a while. After Loki had fallen from the bifrost, despite it having not been planned, Sigyn had known in his heart that Loki had escaped. So he ran. He ran to earth and cloaked himself from Heimdal’s gaze. He’d made sure Loki would be the only one that could find him. And he waited. And waited. Until he’d almost conceded that maybe Loki had died that day. He’d begun to spiral, the state of his apartment was testament to that. But then, he’d awoken one night from a dream with a voice in his head. He’d thought he’d finally lost it at first when Loki started speaking but quickly realized that it was real. Loki was alive. He was okay. And he had finally found him. 

He leaned against Loki gently. “Yes.” He answered. “Waiting for you. I knew you’d find me.” 

Loki gently put an arm around his shoulders, leaning slightly against him as well. He’d hated being separated from him for so long. He’d beaten off the urge to return to Asgard for him several times and now he was glad he had. He would have been devastated to have returned only to find Sigyn gone.

 But he’d gotten mixed up in things much bigger than him. The portal he’d ducked through that day had landed him in a world new to him and he’d soon found himself making deals with an entity that promised him power. He’d delivered but he wasn’t sure at what cost yet. Loki couldn’t help the sinking suspicion that he wasn’t quite free while working for this man. And for that reason he’d tried to keep himself distanced from his spouse. But the guilt of letting Sigyn think him dead became too much for him to bear and he searched for him. Finally finding him hiding on Midgard. 

Their connections had remained telepathic for a while until Loki could set his plan into motion. And Sigyn remained faithful, listening and helping Loki where he could from his place on Earth; setting things up and being ready for when the plan would be set into motion. And now things were in full swing. Soon he’d be setting off for the next step in his plan but this time Sigyn would be by his side. 

“You truly are too good to me.” He told him, kissing his forehead. It was nice to have this moment’s reprieve. Though he knew it would only be for a short time before they’d have to be off, leaving behind the apartment Sigyn had called home for the last year.

“I love you.” He told him, his orange eyes shining as he looked up at him. “I will always wait for you.” He placed a hand over Loki’s, lacing their fingers together. “Stay with me tonight.” He told him, his voice almost begging.

“Sig, I..” he began, swallowing and his heart melting at the pleading look in his eyes.

“The plan can wait one more night. I’m sure the so-called Avengers haven’t even been gathered yet. We have time. Please. Just give me tonight.” Sigyn insisted. “Loki. Just tonight. Just us.”

He nodded, turning and pulling Sigyn against him and enveloping him in his arms. “Just us.” He agreed. “Tomorrow we will face the world. But tonight I am yours.”