Profile
Sakura Kanzen Katsune was born in a lab in Tokyo to proud Japanese parents Kogo Katsune (her mother) and Patoron Katsune (her dad). She was artificially created from their DNA, because they were incredibly well prestiged and powerful ninjas who had just won a war, but lost many important members of their clan and also of their family. Sakura's 'birth' was a secret weapon in case war broke out ever again between the two sides, she would be the perfect kunoichi to lead the ninja army to victory, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Sakura was always clearly special, for one thing due to her artificial birth she didn't have a belly-button, and also she excelled in all physical activity. She was perfect at all sports, especially kendo and other such martial arts. However, one of her downfalls has always been her academics. In high school Sakura decided to take up some fun hobbies, such as singing and in her singing class she met Miku Hatsune, which was highly unusual since Miku is a singing software and not a human. Due to Miku's singing-software-ness(?) she was much more musically talented than Sakura, which filled Sakura with absolute envy and anger, but on the outside she remained calm and acted as if she were Miku's best friend. It's okay, Miku wasn't going to save the world from a ninja army so what does that bitch know? SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE BIG BREASTS!
There was one thing that Sakura never knew about herself, however, one thing that could cause the entire plan of the Japanese government (and also her parents) to fail miserably. Deep inside of Sakura, built from her anger and envy and also the fact she was created as an object of war, was a dark entity. A dark entity the world would soon begin to know, for Sakura Katsune had a dark side, an evil alter-ego if you will: Akuma Katsune. With Sakura's physical skill and Akuma's cunning, this alter-ego could have proven to be one of the most important and most difficult adversaries in Japanese history.
Akuma started small, but slowly began to grow and expand. It wouldn't be long before Sakura's body would be entirely consumed by her dark side. When Sakura's parents decided to explain to her how and why she was created, it only fed the darkness in her soul and Akuma was almost ready to be unleashed. The final straw was when Miku Hatsune got 100% on her mathematics test, but Sakura only got 47%. The anger, the absolute spite and disgust she felt fully awakened her dark side and Miku, who had seen this time upon time again, due to her status as God's divine messenger, called upon the only person she felt like could stop Akuma from becoming too powerful: Jiyhaxhhl Xenzyx.
Jiyhaxhhl, a strong samurai descended from an entire family of Japanese samurai, had been trained in various areas of the Asian continent and knew his way around a katana. So, when he found out from Miku (due to their soul link, see his profile) that he would be fighting a sixteen year old ninja girl, he didn't fully prepare himself. The fight was intense. His swordsmanship was almost perfectly matched with Sakura's fighting abilities, but Akuma was no honorable kunoichi. She played dirty and unfair, causing Jiyhaxhhl to lose. And upon his loss, out of cruelty and spite Akuma sealed away his soul into his sword, making a cruel joke about how he was always 'one with the sword'. When Akuma left, however, she failed to account for the spirit inhabiting Jiyhaxhhl's body, the shrine maiden: Reimu Haxenajdfllllll. Upon discovering the loss of her host's own conscious and mind (because according to René Descartes the mind and body are separate, so that's totally possible), Reimu used his phone (despite being a samurai and looking very old fashioned, he was still quite trendy and modern) to call for the assistance of Ranjeeta, a bollywood girl who was living in the United Kingdom at this current moment. She requested her help to defeat the girl who took away Jiyhaxhhl's soul, the 16 year old war machine Akuma Katsune.
Ranjeeta called upon Alan from Tesco to bomb the teenage high-school girls home, and he did just that, to buy them some time to figure out what to do. After a long phone call conversation and a lot of asking the other to repeat what they had said due to their intense accents, they decided the best solution to the problem was to wipe the teenage girl's mind of the memories that brought her to this moment. So Reimu asked Miku to organize a plane for Ranjeeta, so the three of them could form the holy spirit and use their combined powers to wipe Sakura's memory of Akuma. This sealed Akuma within Sakura, but would only be a temporary fix to a premanent problem. As well as this, Miku had to try and get lower grades than Sakura to prevent it from happening again, which was really tough on her, because Sakura's grades are absolutely awful.
It wouldn't end there, however. Despite Reimu's efforts to keep everything that happened quiet so Sakura couldn't find out, word still got around. Soon, the Japanese people didn't feel safe and called upon bounty-hunting pirate prostitute, Sarah Adoptune, who didn't have to be paid in real money and only in sex and glamour shot photoshoots. Adoptune wasn't the first bounty hunter to go after Sakura, but she was the strongest and most note-worthy. Would Sarah Adoptune be the cause for Akuma's return, despite trying to prevent it? Would she remind Sakura of everything that happened? Only time could tell.
icon & bio by soymilk
