Profile
Hazy
Angel of Sleep & Dreams (page wip)
The nebulae..Shudders with tremors of lightning. glowing black, blue, white, red and a soft beaming purple crimson. The little angel flew. Her destination was resolute, her path - The Hall of Angels. Before which she would meet Amigaelé - the Waldgiest of Nû. The fateful day arrives as her presence brings the shed and the nebulae became stars. Soon the sky would fill - like little embers, the stars flared up one by one. The 10 angels whom awaited her in the great pantheon. Heaven of the world spirit.
"Oh my great gaia - my venerable. the news arrives quick! I feel it! I feel the beacon! I feel his presence! The Millenia flower is blooming oh it blooms. Good mother Amigaelé, may you - send me upon this world you created. For I am your first angel. And with your eyes of the nebulae bring safety to the son, the soul. The flower. The egg. Herald me, the Harbringer of clouds. The first angel. Hazy"
Hazy tends to the stars like candles. In her path of clouds the stars flicker into existence. One by one. And than suddenly, on that day. That fateful fateful day - the universe would become whole again.
INFJ - ♀ - Hall of Angels
Relevant characters
Amigaelé The Millennia Child Vovi Aries
Ͼ Abilities Ͽ
ѧ Clouds ѧ
The art of the Clouds is one of Hazy most known abilities. It is essentially the representation of what she is. Unable to weaponise it. Hazy is left at the loft of elements as she uses the clouds to hide her wake, hide those who mean the most for her. Upon the weave of her claw, clouds would sprawl in the air and swirl around her fingertips, upon which she directs it at her will. Her light body allows her to almost soar amongst the clouds. Her skill, makes clouds almost impermeable that she could walk on it.
ѧ Dream Thief ѧ
When Hazy inherited the mysterious bell from Mother Amigaelé, she discovered the properties of the dreamweaving. Using this ability, she would occasionally enter characters sleeping minds, and peer around. Her curiousity nudging her to learn what she probably shouldn't touch upon. The ability of Dream thief allows her to have clairvoyance of someone's dreams. It also gives her the power to somewhat modify a person's dreams, making it go her way. However in her process of inception, It is not uncommon that dreams are warped to strange levels of surrealism as her thoughts come into play and her victims awake.
"In the darkness that is sweet
Like the red wine on your lips
Just like the illusions that I'll miss
When finally this all slips away..."
- To Mera , Temptation
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Spotlight: Hazy
Her Eldritch Eyes
[Click Image for Music]
They say, the image in her eyes, the pictures that she looks like so - lies a story which spans centuries. A trapped story within. The eyes which beams a gaze of grace, sorry, catharsis, and resolution. The gaze which would instantly pierce one person and only one specific person, her longed one, the one she saw through her eyes. These eyes could tell a thousand stories. In chimes of bells and the soft jingling she leaves upon her rainbow path. Often flying in the weaning dusk, where nobody not even the skies could see her quiet silent trace. Her wandering of the mountains, her soulful gaze. Meet Hazy, Fallen angel of Amigaelé. An exile from heaven. Angel of clouds. The thief of dreams. This is her story...
(a). The grand symphony of the albinoes, or as some called: The animal gods of Nû. They were the absolute servants of Amigaelé. Ambassadors of the light she brings.
Grand festival. The bi-monthly symphony of the albinoes, rings over the massive vibrant halls under the dome of the universe our world spirit so kindly made for us. Stars flicker and the moon is in equinox again. The angels gathered in the cosmic attrium, the court of angels, the seats of chirals, and Amigaelé herself. They gathered before as the animal gods; also known as the Albinoes - sung and played the best music from the world of Nû below. The beautiful harp tone overlayed the soft strums of the clarinet, to the piccolo of the flute. A soft thrumming roll of drums followed by deep and gentle, light and vibrant symphonic strings. Melliflous and full of sonourous tones. Serenades, to sonatas. The tones were beautiful, alien, exotic, wierd. Each albino- the musicians were dressed or represented in the avatar of their animal. Their bodies pale almost like it was made of light itself. Their light skins, made of beautiful veil of stars, and each of their second tone colors. Like stars of black on their skin, black freckles. The albinoes had rainbow eyes, an iris layered with beautiful rainbow pupils. Their outstanding colors stood out, the eyes were what you often saw. Today like every symphony, or g rand orchestra their presence was before us; Amigaelé and her many angels before the world. the 11 Stars seated before the cosmic festival today. Just a constellation in the sky to mortals, while in heaven they were physical, ethereal, and they watched in beauty of the symphony. Intrinsic, ecstatic catarthic songs the wonders of the world brought in by the animal gods and the albinoes. Grand attrium, in the hall of angels, all the angels have gathered again today. Me included. To the presence of the world spirit, the grand orchestra in heaven. The orchestra of the lunar equinox had a name. But as I often am, I did not remember the name itself.
(a). As the hall was empty, she sneaked in. Finding solace and perhaps...downtime as she'd usually do. Sneaking past the the pantheon, past everything, when everyone else was preoccupied or busy. Then sitting and watching the world with its strange lure and temptation.
She slipped her head past the nudged seat- a divine seat and soon, she found herself wandering off again. The angel left the concert halls where the concert took place and snuck past the other angels. And ofcourse as usual, barely noticed. Whilst all the regal other angels sat and observed. The smaller figure, slipped past the commotion of the songs, all of which didn't strike her as much as she'd will. Her mind was ofcourse...elsewhere. She was.. impresent. Hazy dug her way past the royal seats and quickly sneaked out, finding her way back to the pantheon, the grand hall - where none of the others were currently present in. First angel, of Amigaelé and the grand heavens. The bearer of clouds, the skyholder and gem of nebulae would find her way lost from the crowd again. Peeking upon the little world which spun and spun in the center of the attrium, the world which represented Nû of Leuaseia (the world of this story). No danger was near so her paws tipper tappered and she kept a low profiles. Hoping nobody over the tables would notice. Her gaze affixed upon the boring, spinning world below her. An allure which she felt only she had, or at least that she could explain. Maybe today she had time yet again. to wander with her little bad little thoughts. or as the world spirit would call it 'naughty thoughts'. The little rush of excitement and the well...the endless longing and hobby she usually found, by gazing at the world below. Just curling around it and watching it spin, whilst the others were away and she'd be alone. There was this feeling which she had, the whole feeling of the temptation of the world, pulling her towards it, and her thought of constantly well...wanting to just fly there, to somewhere and and....
(b). Alas, it is not always the easiest to slip past the securities of an omniscient world spirit. Well...she had her fun.
Shortlived, her moment of silence was quickly broken by the boom of the world spirit. a gentle grazing boom, a sweet sweet voice of which only the most pristine goddess could make. It was the world spirit, Amigaelé whom had found her this time. She stood up and in that quick moment, she adjusted her posture, regal...regal again. Stowing her wings up from her lazy slog on the ground, waking up quick she stood. and knelt, her body did not move for one moment. She gazed almost loyally towards the planet. Her vibrant ribbons strung in the air, as little cloudlets formed against the floor again, turning to mist knowing that despite all she had done, she had to stand proud and stand strong before the world spirit. With someone bearing such a title as her, ofcourse who can, who should even try to be anything less then regal, powerful, beautiful, godesslike. She was supposed to be the projection of divinity. She. And that she tried. Though she knew not where to gaze, she always gazed forwards. Knowing the omniscient spirit could be anywhere, gazing upon her. And that, she treasured. Almost like a goddess' breath upon her neck, she felt the presence creep up behind her. It was embarassing. Embarassing that the world spirit yet again, and again, caught her in her most intimate heavenly moments. What a shame. the angel bit her lip. If only she could have some more privacy. Privacy in an open universe of attriums and halls. the palace of heaven and the court of the world spirit. Though as much as she wanted her time alone she knew that divine duty came first, and so with that thought she curbed the thoughts.
"what are you doing? Little hazy?" The world spirit said.
"I'm protecting the world." the cloud angel replied.
"Hazy...your nose..."
(c). Angelic and ethereal, the angels were not always the top when it came to sticking to the material universe. Sometimes...their obstacles could be the most simple playful distractions.
Attempting to shield her innocence, with the cute alibi. Something she made up on the go. "I-I'm sorry I think I was loosing shape again" the cloud angel silently barked. Embarassed she grabbed onto her nose - which under her cute shivers turned to vapour clouds. She shook her head, hoping that the usual would happen. The apology would work, her innocence unscathed. The... The cloud angel stood firm, and noticing the little twitches in her hinds, she tucked her wings and let one tuft of featherlike tuft drawl over it. hiding and making her posture perfect. Ribbons drifting. She did not know what to expect. As usual, the all giving mother of the world, goddess and gaia, world spirit Amigaelé was always forgiving. Caring. Nourishing. And the angel knew it as well. She was almost the most groomed of them all, the most cared for, or the one she talked to the most. It was one of them. Knowing the rules of pantheon, her posture and her presence was always important. She tried her best to uphold that. And again yet again, it seemed like the world spirit was forgiving in all that. It seemed like it only applied to her. Yet her- Hazy refused to be treated as anything more, then her other angels. She always knelt calm, stood up pure. Her eyes and her mind ; though usually trapped in the clouds or nebulaes- would always have the attention of the spirit beside her. The all presiding presence which she always knows to honor. It was perhaps time to continue her divine duty.
(d). The grace of the world spirit was always beautiful. Calm. Loving. An overwhelming wholesome presence which at worst surrounded the cloud angel with a caring concern.
Hazy was thankful for that. Such a grazing, caring concern which the world spirit would envelope around her. As she would find out her doings. Just as she would - her affection to any other angel, all the same- sometimes well-groomed to others than me. That was okay. Her love is enduring, non ending. It was overwhelming. I loved it. But at times like this, it made me so so awkward. The world spirit had no sense of privacy, her divine status made her omnipotent over all. and I can understand...her role as guardian of the world was more important then I. I can't count how many times since I woke - how many times I've been in this hall when it's been empty. After the conglomerations, after the masses, after the gathering, the assembly, the divine festivals. Especially after the end of it. When I found most pleasure just sitting away in this empty hall, while others were a bit wasted or too preoccupied. Wanting not one soul to come here to ruin her silence and her attraction to the world. The world spirit was beautiful. Laced in white, with horns like antlers, and the most regal deer The spirit was adorned in holy horns, like massive combs of the stars, her body was made of fur, scales, feathers, everything. It bore the looks of a dragon - as she says, something that she is most grateful of. her best creation - the dragons which inhabit the planet of Nû. Hazy was always thankful for the forgiving case of the mother. Amigaelé's mouth parted slowly as her soliloquy began, tales, beautiful tales. Long lost tales which could be told for centuries and centuries on end. Things that she would tell to the other angels which would lul them to sleep. and I would sit and gaze up and listen, smile, cherish, and feel loved. Things like that which would lul me to sleep as well. Past the embarassments, or the little detours I took in the nebulaes. past the little sounds I would sometimes hear when the equinoxx of the moon was just right. I cherished the moments.
And the world spirit spoke, her voice becoming softer and softer. I lay down again, in the massive world spirit's paws. As the air from her warm graceful mouth hushed me into gentle sleep. I would curl up before the little center of the hall and then gracefully gradually slumber into my oftenrare dreams. Before sleep I often gazed into her eyes - the eyes of the world spirit... Wondering what emotion it would be, what feeling she would fell. What face she bore. but I was always met with love, gratitude, solace, calm, and motherly affection. A mixture of love and everything positive. Behind her eyes hid a glaze of concern, something which would sometimes make me worry. But now her words have already filled the air. The cracks in her palms, and the regal fur, the nebulaec eyes, and the beautiful eyes of nebulae which she gazed down upon. It was too comfortable. She brought me upon her divine bed, where I would join the other angels. In a slumber. A slumber diffused by love.
(e). What did she dream about? the greatest world spirit and all her 11 stars.
When I dream, those rare instances when I would dream; was when I had funny feelings about her concern her worries. I don't know why I dream about the world spirit so much, but It was at moments like this when I felt more curious. More curious about what else there was. What held her down. What I could do to lift the weight of her shoulders. Worry for me was like a calm aura of caring. That concern which she always hid behind her face. It makes me yearn more, something which asks me for a resolution, a serendipity. A solution, a cure. I'm not a good color platform (whatever Zadie often liked to put it), but I'd consider myself more...I'm more interested in feeling...Feeling the solution, feeling it fix itself. Truth be told... I was not the type to fall into dream either. I was not really the type. And when the spirit was often asleep, I would often awake just a bit before the rest of the angels, and the spirit herself. My slumber was often short. Perhaps it was my curiousity, perhaps it was my will for serendipity. Or perhaps it was my wonders...Wonders to the pantheon. To the hall... and to the dreams of which the world spirit dreamt. I made bets. Bids. Little moments I would wander out, from the divine halls of slumber into the hall of angels. Little excursions, adventures, and rusty journeys. I'd wander out before the rest woke. It was not angelic nor was it duty. Sometimes I tell myself to stop, but the curiousity of this spinning world inspires me so much. It inspires me to go off-script. Off duty.
(g). I thought...what was all of this... and why was it here. What is this world and why must it be so...alluring.
A little harmless excursion and a small misty muffle of clouds. I'd quickly be in the hall of angels again, sometimes in the archives of the world spirit - and her hundreds of antiquities which she kept in mellow vintage furniture and cabinets. It was a rush of excitement (or whatever it's called when it's divine) which would make me so curios, so thirsty for more. And then a crawl and thump. My body would be against the cold marbled floor of her pantheon and the world which spun in the middle. Like a lazy animal I slumped and watched. Endearing my mind into what lay in the world beneath. What was so... Different what was so...Unique. Sometimes the world would blink...little flashes of light. Small symbols and intuitives joining my eyes. I guess those would be historical events happening in place. I watched with so much curiousity it felt more real then the divine orchestras. It just felt... real. A gravitas which allured and tugged me towards it. Especially when I saw the gentle lavender blink from the northern hemisphere of the planet.
(h). In moments of serenity and peace. When the pantheon was empty. I would find my way here...Observing and gazing at the gentle world which spun on this pedestal. At least the striking image of it. Though I knew Amigaelé's presence was omniscient, I knew that she was not always aware. It is at times like this when I am happy and snuggled before beautiful empty dome of nebulae and the space sky above.
A guilty plea, a soft gazing elysium. I slept often amidst the hall of angels. breathing the calm mist, and eventhough it could get dusty - I didn't mind. The fact I was so near to this world was what made me feel comfortable. Loved, and safe. I often did not sleep long and I kept a soft track of time itself. Of ten would I sneak out at the times of slumber, the dark nights of sleep. And quickly sneak myself back, into the graze of the world spirit again. It was comfortable knowing that I was safe, that I was one when I were so close. It was comfortable to feel alone in the premise of dieties and the intimidating pantheon. It was comfortable. I used to sleep in the empty halls...
(i). The other angels slept inside the box. The one which Amigaelé held so close to her at night. This was when the stars would manifest themselves like constellations in the night of the pantheon. The angels would sleep.
When the rest slept in gemboxes near the world spirit's grasp. Covered in the velvet grace of the interial box and the vintage glass coverings which like magnificent bedsheets covered their heartstones. No. Their souls. The box was often locked - but sometimes open. The 10 angels were safeguarded by the benevolent world spirit. Whilst I always somehow found my way out. I didn't like it when the world spirit discovered me. I did false runs. Carrying my ribbons - like part of my souls. I would...I would soar across the nebulae of the universe. Around the world of Nû. And gaze upon the unknown. Watching both suns revolve around our beautiful planet, which was too too far from my grasp. I would hover. Sometimes play-pretending to be a world spirit myself. Just so that even if Amigaelé discovered me...lingering in the halls like that... so unregal, so...un-postured, may perhaps understand and find repentance in my actions. well... My gentle alibi of 'protecting the world'. Something I would often say whenever she would wake or find me in my slumber upon the halls.
(j). Was t he world so small? And what was its purpose. Why is it always the vision of the desert! why was it the plant! Why does it bring me there, of there's so many questions to ask.
Regardless. I don't know if the feeling is what nagged me or what drew me... But it was a certain familiarity which brought me closer. Pulled me closer. Something which endeared me to hide amongst the clouds just to feel the grace of the world which spun and spun. It felt familiar. It had a theme. But it was not a theme I could really understand for I have never been on a world before, I have...I have never been on the ground of a planet, never felt the breeze of wind, nor the grace of its gravity and embrace of its elements- I wanted to feel it. To me...It was always puzzles. Little secrets which should be prospered and felt. I've read her writings, and embarrasingly, so snuckily read from Amigaelé's personal library of books. All without consent. I would reach my paw towards the world, and sometimes especially sometimes when the sun eclipsed. The little visions would come. I would see a light embrace my eyes - just as the world spirit would often see herself. An omniscience which let me wander the world. Wander its important places, watch the events unfold, and just...just see it. The world was tiny. At least t hat is what I felt. For whatever the vision, wherever I tried to wander the scry (view of the world through the vision mirror), I would always be brought to a desert, and a little flower. It has always been like this... A desert and a little flower. I could not understand. I heard this song... I always heard this song these melodies. Listen to it. The questions which surround me are so curious so...prodding. I've always wondered. The vision, the image, the picture of the desert, and the little plant. The world beneath me, and sometimes the things I'd see...especially when I reigned free in the pantheon of Amigaelé. This was perhaps the most striking. And nor was it always it happened either. Just moments like this day when it did. It just...bloomed. Just like my curiousity! What brought me here, why is it just this. Oh the questions are too many to ask!
(k). The divine watcher, protector and guardian of Nû. She slept as she felt comfort of her angels, comfort of the world beneath her. Her infinite yearning seemingly unending. Her flowing love. Fulfilling the world and caressing her angels. She loved them to bits. She often slept at peace whilst the opera of Nû played beneath.
Temptation brings me closer. Yet everytime I pry just gently so, every other second I spend out of the world spirit's grasp during the slumbers...during the aggregation of angels...during the symphonies. Every second tempts me to hide even more. Delve deeper. Explore the Hall of angels and all the secrets of which its center brings. It yearned in me, to always wonder what was inside the vision, what was in the world. The tug and gravitas that pulled on me, making my senses rush. I never hope that Amigaelé finds out. Yet at the same time I've never really...dug so deep before. It feels like every day I tempt myself more. Everyday my steps are larger. Every cosmic day. Every night and moon. All the stars in the sky could be my witness. I witness the world below just as a world spirit would. Every close shave I have with Amigaelé during her waking sleep or her gentle grazing aura. I've had to pretend. Stand regal. Stand straight, and aye that I stand here because I want to protect the world - Sigh- I am not that kind. My personality besieges me when I try to be so, my confidence...lingers only at a very certain range. the situation pulls. Each day I start getting tougher, braver. Just slightly so. I use more time, I look through the visions of the world. Through the forbidden glasses of the world spirit. Even just briefly. To see what the visions entail. It was not always easy though.
(l). Between the jangle of instruments, old books, old items, dusty artifacts and plenty of things I have never imagined or understood before. I found a bell.
I approached the hallway of antiques. And within it the discs, the beautiful furniture, the belongings of the world spirit. would make me feel like a child. To be most honest, I never understood the world of Nû nor what it was, what it entailed, what it felt like. I wanted to know it all. The lingering curiosity had me wandering. Even during the conglomeration of angels, the gatherings, the divine festivals were not enough to sate my need to curios and learn. I headed my way into the hallway of antiques. Secret between you and me- Often I did so when the great angels met. Often would I pretend to be impresent. Often did I pretend to not be there. When great Amigaelé's mind was focused, she wouldn't notice me at all. And so I wandered freely. Often in reigns of the depths of the great pantheon, and its nebulaec clouds. The hallways which the world spirit made and carved, only that of a heavenly god's craftsmanship could do make. My mind was affixed on things, it was. During day, though even in the great gatherings, would I seldom interact with many angels , it felt better to be alone. I always thought of ways to understand things more. I always thought...Perhaps Amigaelé had something in her belongings which could lead me to understand. Understand why I'm so pulled towards the thought of laying and watching over the small symbols and the world below. I needed to sate my longing. I did not want it to be desperate. To hide my trail, I used to fill the hallways with clouds, hide things away. That seemed to be my powers. But that was not all I had.
(m). Majesty wasn't always found in the skies, but sometimes it is hidden deep in the luster and lucid of dreams. There are really precious things in life which one must not stray away from. One must turn to.
I had this talent, it has been in the making for tenthousand tenthousands of years. In my flurry of curious and my...my dreamy lucid moments hiding in the hall of angels. and the halls of the pantheon. I hid. In swoons of clouds, mists of nebulae I would bring in my wake. gently burying my path amongst the sky, gently hiding me under a soft blanket of obscurity. It was what I followed. It was the nature of clouds. It was me.
"hide the things which matter most in life...you will keep them safe forever".
That has always been my quote. The quote which I only told myself and myself. Never once heard never once uttered under my breath. Never once another know. It was hidden just like the clouds, and the misty cloudtops I would glean. The beautiful world spirit barely understood my deepest personality unlike the other angels. Yet at once it seemed that she wasn't so interested. You could perhaps call it a peeve, or a sin. Regardless, I used to keep things I treasured most the closest, even if they were furthest. I felt through all these years, all these...epochs. What I did was to protect that which I deared the most. That which pulled me the most towards it. And when I could, I would try to hide it from the others. Sometimes just like the conversations I had with the world spirit alone. i was seldom found. Seldom discovered in the worst moments possible. Though it seemed like the world spirit and her omniscience would get the best of me in the lowest days. I hid. Just like my mantra, my sweet sweet childish alibi.
"I'm protecting the world".
(n). The strange bell upon which I found upon the antiques and which I hid later within the nebulae and the universe somewhere.
One of my greatest and most treasured artifacts was something which I found and hid. Let's just say. my meanderings were not always frought with even more curiosity or more...moments of rush. My heart did not beat fast on this one for I simply placed it inside a treasured nebulae. In the night sky where no omniscient mind ever wanders. I found a bell, upon Amigaelé's shelves. A bell which I've always kept safe. Never let anyone know, keep it in total secrecy. I knew that the world spirit would be unhappy if she found out that one of her artifacts were missing. However It was one of those flurries of moments where I just...I just... felt like I needed it the most. And so I hid it. I hid it until I could find it later. I did not know what the bell was. Neither did Amigaelé really notice what the whereabouts of her antiques would go. Wintersparky made a joke once. She said that my symbol really looked like a bell. She called me the bell dragon. She said it fit me. Maybe she was right. Though her superfluous concept of secrecy eventually leaked out to the confounded world spirit herself, I had to compromise. Upon my neck, and the many ribbons which surrounded it. I made a little little collarbell, then perhaps another one. Those were just to cover it up. Cover the fact up that I discovered the bell. That night, I had a strange dream that I slept and began dreaming. in which I dreamt deeper... The strange occasion of itself was confusing at most, not something I really understood. Most likely it was nothing - I nodded off.
(o). It felt so far yet at the same time so close. The beautiful bell could not but keep my eyes stuck on it.
In the midst of clouds I wandered that day. I think it was when I was daydreaming in the hall of angels again, was when I found my thoughts straying again. the thought over and over again. Looped upon itself as i sneaked the little bell under my wings again. It was solid. it was cold, It had a little clapper inside, which I tried not to strike. I did not want to toll the bell, neither raise suspision. The days past as I started to realise that the new strange clairvoyance I got. A cloudy fuzzy clairvoyance which, to a cloud dragoness like her - fit perfectly within her theme. she heard, she say she felt...Daylight thoughts when she held the bell. Thoughts of passing angels would sometimes thief themselves into her mind. She had those dreams again. those confusing dreams within dreams whenever the bell was near. often held it close in secrecy. Confusing and befuddling. Hazy eventually shook it off, curioused...It was probably one of those moments again. The clairvoyant bell and the beautiful dreams which she dreamed - not always from her point of view anymore, she dreamt of other angels. Of other beings of other things. And sometimes when she held the bell closest to herself, she dreamt herself a dreaming dream. Hazy was my mind, my name and was I. I did not often keep the bell close during the times of sleep arranged by Amigaelé. It was a little pasttime I did during night when I snuck out...slept with the nebulae. cradled the galaxies. The bell was precious to me and so I gave it a name... The Dream Weaver I called it. i was convinced that there was some latent to it, but I was not sure what. I was convinced that it could read dreams but I didn't then know why for or what for. I treasured it like a toy. I treasured it as I would've like a child. it was beautiful to me. I held it close. And when I tolled and cradled it outside the hearing of Amigaelé, stars would blink, nebulaes would light up in lightning. And clouds would weave and weave around me. I know I've said a lot here, let it be known to you... the bell was a phase in my life. A phase when I felt distracted...distracted, by the neverurging feeling, the need to curl around in the halls of angels and the needs to just gaze and be befuddled by the curious visions, the curious floating world. Which I just...used to sit and stare at nonstop. Last winter Solstice, during the great annual ceremony. I cut a hole in my wing. A convenient one where I usually hid the bell. It was okay, for angels could never bleed in heaven nor truly be 'hurt'. I never attached the bell to it...the bombastica of the ceremony, the outbursts of laughter, the beautiful beautiful speeches of Amigaelé lured me back. I hid the bell in the black black nebulaes again, thinking one day I'd come back for it. The feeling parted and soon I felt the urge drown upon me. The same urge as before...Almost like a pastime, a hobby, an addiction. It covered and laced over me, and soon I felt like I needed to find out more. pry deeper. All of it just into the eye of Nû. To watch the world. To watch the deserts, to watch the stories of millions unfold. The days returned to normal after the solstice festival and I would soon find myself in the similare uneven outbursts of adventure at night, between ceremonies and gatherings of angels. I would return to the same spot I'd always do, my little naughty secret which I kept from the world spirit for so long. It has been ages since I've learned to hide myself, but the newfound clairvoyance helped me. It definitely did!
(p). I felt so close. so close to the truth. So close to understanding. And as the portal opened to the visual and stunning world...I saw the flower again.
Oh that day. That day The sun bloomed like a flower the deserts were windy. Chimes played. Chimes played. I was finally there, It felt so real. As if all light were put to rest and just for that moment, I saw a little blooming flower, a little bulb. shyly peeking out of the desert sand; an inhospitable searing place. The visions through the symbols of the world were vivid. I saw more. I saw that the world was more. More than ever before. I saw the beautiful flower. And and...I admit it, that was where the addrenaline of the situation flung me into my racing senses, my face felt warm. The feelings of the mortal world poured through me. I would quickly part my paw through the welcoming world. Quickly dash back away from the hall of angels. hoping that nobody would have seen me. Seen me do that... un-angelic use of my powers, my manipulations of clouds... to activate something that was only truly meant for the world spirit's eyes only. Though I saw a flower I knew what it was. I consulted the Dream Weaver occasionally in sleep, and I learned that it was an egg. But to what I don't know. My allure grew. And soon I would dash back into Amigaelé's gembox for the sleep of the cosmic night. I hope...I hope I wasn't seen...I felt...I felt memories recursing back to me... Things felt familiar - I held it back...
(q). And then she asked me...She asked me if I could help her. Her heart endearing. I could never expect this. her smile filled me with hope and a forever love and care. Her task she gave me, made me feel whole. It was everything I wanted. In the situation I least expected.
Amigaelé saw me. It was absolutely embarassing. I was at loss of words. I was at loss of alibi. My mind was astray, it ran wild as suddenly all the unexplainable emotions tried to escape my mouth but I held it back.- Amigaelé smiled and gestured. to me. Her paws even though cosmic, grazed my cheeks, gently caressing them it made me calmer. And though my mortal heart raced I felt no fear. Neither did I feel pride in what I did. It seems like she found out. I was too afraid to look up I was too afraid to gaze. But the world spirit made it feel okay, made ME feel okay. I calmy looked to the side but her paws led me to gaze at just her face. Her divine face. With that neverending laugh. That motherly laugh that never stopped to calm me. Though her regalness often shone. It was very different today. I saw her face- divine smile, a smile larger then usual, her eyes crying in graceful tears. She was overwhelmed with emotions. Her emotions overwhelmed me, she smiled so much more then before. It was just me and her. The Cloud angel and the World spirit Amigaelé. She smiled, as the tears ran down her ethereal face. Emotions I've never thought possible. my angel halo brightened. She had a task. And even though she didn't mind me stealing the bell...She knew what I did. and...and she felt thankful. She felt really thankful. Her smile brightened me like solace. Embedding into all of my urges, all of the 'tug' which pulled me towards Nû. My curiosity, it's need to be sated. All in her request. She requested something beautiful from me.... unformal. Beautiful. Charismatic. Loving. The world spirit motioned at a little glass, the embodiment of Nû. The little thing at the center of the hall of angels she chirped. "would you help me my little evangeline. My cloud angel.?" the laughter, the innocent and sweet laughter welled out of her and soon I felt overwhelmed with love again. I smiled, She was in tears. Happy tears, and soon so was I. My sate, her love. My need. her longing. She pleaded so sweetly and informal. I've never seen her like this before. I had no choice but to agree. Today...I felt that rush of excitement again. But this time, it was formal. A divine task. The task of fulfilling what I've longed for for so long...so long in my life I couldn't stop. Like a tutor, like the most caring loving world spirit she was. Her paws (hind paws, she lost her main ones eons ago) guided me she taught me how to use the demeter mirror, how to gaze upon the world...how to understand what I was looking at. She let me keep the bell and even the ribbons which came upon it. She let me keep it as long as I promised one thing. She taught me about deserts, she taught me about wind, rain, snow, ice. Everything I'd see in the world. and she gestured...She gestured that she had the most personal request out of her dearest heart. I listened - or at least I tried. the situation of familiarity the nostalgia was welling up inside me, and I could only take it as a nervous excitement, an ambition a longing. She told me in a sweet voice...Something about a fruit. A divine fruit.
(r). Her dreams, her ambitions, her motives were so different then that she taught me long ago. For the first time I was truly scared. For the first time, I felt a looming stress and something that I simply could not. Did not. Want to understand. At least It left a gentle mark in my soul. Another secret I would keep dearest to my heart.
At night. I think...For the last time I snuck out of the Gembox again. I snuck into the hall of slumbers. Where the world spirit slept. Holding on to my little dreamweaver bell. I felt a strange urge. Gazing up I saw the stsars, gazing down I saw the world. It was all so beautiful, the nebulae and everything. It was all so beautiful. Mu hand stroked the little large dreamweaver bell. I could but just wonder what flew through the mind of my beautiful world spirit. I couldn't just imagine. I remember her cries of happiness when she learned what I learned. When she found out what I found. And the sense and sudden rush of fear when I thought I was done for in my little adventures out at night. I just wanted to do this a few more times...A few more times before I was sent down to the world. And so...with a task incomprehensible to the other angels at all. Something I doubt even forgivable or explainable. I held the dreamweaver bell. I...I gazed with it, into the mind of the world spirit herself. And through her eyes I experienced her dreams, her hopes. Her ideas, her wishes. Her everything. The bell of dreams led me into her mind...I did not think my incursion into it would be so quick. So confusing. So scattered. I did not understand her task or what she befell upon me. It was... It was so strange. I couldn't explain my words I couldn't explain what I felt...All of this, it felt too different. Too different to the way she originally spoke to me. I think this was a moment when I crept too deep in the mind of the world spirit. It was my first and last time I could do such an incursion. Honestly...My experience. It was frightful. I was frightened. It was overwhelming. I quickly left her dreams. The subtle feeling of overwhelming still lingered in me for days to come. It was very subtle, and like a mist it stayed close down the innermost reaches of my heart. Luckily for me, the cacaphony, the confusion did not glean much. I was probably just paranoid...I kept this a secret. My incredible sin of peeling into the mind of a world spirit. Something no angel was supposed to ever do.
(s). In full admission... I wasn't prepared, I did not know what to expect.
The commotion grew and grew. a lavender light strobed down from the planet itself. I watched as the physical illustration of a plant bloomed upon the surface I couldn't be slower. Chairs knocked over and the angels gazed up surprised one by one. I was not prepared for this at all as I was summoned by all might to the hall of angels - I had to keep my posture. The pace was fast, the lights boomed. Every angel was in place and the world spirit and I knelt and listened upon my order. I did not expect things to happen so fast. the strobing and the commotion quickly pulled my attention apart, and before I understood what I needed, or remember what happened. My heart pounded fast. The Millenia child was born from the plant. Unguarded, alone, lost in the desert. I tacked my ribbons around my neck, barely able to make more then one loop per each. my hands touched the bell and almost dropping it I bowed hard before the commotioning angels. Amigaelé announced her duologue with me as the other angels listened. The formal connection was formed. I was excited. Retrieve the Millenia 'fruit' - yes she called it the fruit. and I was supposed bring 'it' back to the grace of heaven.... The world spirit smiled as tears ran down her face almost in final catharsis. Wintersparky quickly blew her formality and in her parting wave she yelled my name Hazy! Hazy! Good Luck! the blue angel of snow beckoned. I was formal, I didn't understand how to react but it gave me a smile, almost like t at of Amigaelé's I smiled and gazed up. I did not speak. I nodded hard. Before I knew it, the eye of the nebulae closed, the pillars and pylons of pantheon became invisible, pulling away one by one as in a moment clouds interacted with the atmosphere and I descended. I felt more wholesome then usual, the other angels didn't often speak to me. For such a strong outburst it really calmed my heart. Gave me optimism, flew me high. My bell, the Dreamweaver jingled as it rained beautiful tones upon the world...Signalling my entrance. Though as resolute as I was. I couldn't truly understand the weight of my actions until I found myself touching the warm sands of night the blizzard of sands dawning over me. Was I really here in bidding of the divines, or was this just a personal request of the world spirit herself? I shook my head...such a strange thought. But it was time to go.
(t). The rush ran through my body like lightning. IT diluted the skies in my lavender aura as I descended upon the pretty world beneath. It was way bigger then I expected.
Slinging myself through the world down to the grace of warm air. I quickly understood how much I missed warmth since my time born in the Pantheon. It was my first excperience of such and it was confusing. My duty as an angel was simple. Pick the fruit and return it to heaven...My mad dashes of my wings, I lept and lept through the air. I turned my body back and watched the sky. I saw 10 stars. 10 stars which gently beamed upon me with their strobing lights, I spun through the air in happy. but at the same time the nervosity in me elevated to a point I could not simply understand. Walls of air parted around me in my grace...In my control and I descended upon the world.
(t). Rambanshuhka and Kiranluddha lead me to the sleeping child...But I was not convinced...this was a life not mine to take.
The world with the Millenia 'Plant' in sights. My bell tugged itself. and I soon, the feeling, the grandeous feeling I felt in heaven faded. And almost like a falling rock - my heart. I landed with less then grace. Wondering where all my feeling went. Why my sudden curious, why my sudden longing suddenly faded. Fell into an abyss. I gazed at my dreambell and slowly wondered why. I gazed up again and the graze of heaven was nowhere to be seen. The presense was gone. I could not talk. Distancing myself as I gazed around, like a sojourner angel of the skies. I gazed upon the dreambell once again and it felt like comfort. A toy which I grew up with, and one which I can only rely on now. My-purple aura gently fading into the night. I closed my eyes to converse with the bloom. And so I heard squeaks come to life, I saw...I saw a flower open. I saw strobes of light. Prophetical to all which I experienced once before. I remember the events so vividly, repeating and repeating itself for seemingly hundreds of years when I was up there. hundred cosmic years I mean. I wasn't so sure what happened after, my bell cleared my mind. I...honestly I kinda want to see how everything would play out. The feeling...The feeling I loved. Watching from a distance and just...watching things play out. All whilst hiding in silence of my mists. My task was not at hastet so I took some time, cleared my mind, and witnessed what would unfold before my eyes. I wanted to take my time. I...I wanted to see the world as it is. I wanted to see the events play out...I...I wanted to feel how it was like, how it was like being a guardian. Yes. Being a guardian to the plant which cracked open like an egg and grew to the one they called 'Millenia Child'. I promised Amigaelé that I would return the little one, and she said she would wait as long as needed for it to happen.
ii. The Day I changed my mind
(u). It was the sweetest thing. It was the last thing I'd expect. I saw them both and I saw the smile on the Millenia Child's face. I felt whole. And for that moment, I felt as if my duty to Amigaelé had completely balanced out with the love I saw from the little one and his spirit guardian in the sky. again I felt hazy from thoughts. Again my clouds converged. I hid from the heavens in my little cove of sand, gazing and enjoying the moment whilst it lasted.
I approached and a blue light instantly filled the sky. I watched as the little one played...played with the light, and I was befuddled, intrinsed. My feeling was...happy. I sat and watched from a distance, both seemingly not having a single clue as I was submerged inside the misty desert mirage. My eyes watered a little as I saw the little one spring to life from within the plant. The arid day saw nothing better but the smile of a little one. I just... But I remember the tears of Amigaelé, how beautiful the beckoning of hers was, how she so gracefully asked me, her request to bring back the 'Millenia Fruit'. Her cries and mine happiness, our love was so strong back then... And now as I saw the same in both of them, the strange blue spirit and the little one...It seemed to balance itself out...The little one felt like a little chunk in my heart. He felt like the piece I was longing for. My feeling of longing my racing heart would dull at his presence. The fruit was a child...The fruit was a child. My feelings wanted to balance out. It did. and soon I was left wondering. Wondering if it was truly my duty, my duty to wipe that smile at once off the little offspring's face. Remove it from the hands of another, and pull it back to heaven. I know I've been darker on my divine duties in the past, I know that my mistakes carried reverberance in my history and all that I used to represent. I felt a reprehensible timid in my considerations...I wondered- what if I walked in. What if I made things different. What if I took the child away, from his spirit and protector. The allure made me cover myself within the misty mirage even more. The little hole I felt in my heart I could understand a little more. All those ages I spent gazing in the soft elysium of the hall of angels. All those ages I bided to wonder what the gravitas of the situation was. Why I was so interested in this. It fell to here. I felt awkward, awkward that I had to trail the child so early in its birth. I know I've done darker things in the past, but I think It would've been best if I gave it a little solace. A little breath of the world, a little more time with the spirit that protects it. The millenia child at least deserved a bit more. I felt a bit of jealousy, empathy- emotions changing slow. I felt my sympathies and envies. He was born in the mortal warm world. I was not. This world felt beautiful to dwell in, and he deserved to sense it as it is. I felt a certain unfairness, when I considered my absolute divine options. But at the same time a small fear crept up my spine.
(v). In quiet of the dawn. I was at loss of words. My obligations tugged in one direction and my love and longing in the other. I have never felt like this before. but I was balanced out. I didn't know what to do.
I...I had no clue what I was doing anymore. What if the world spirit found out? What if she found out I lingered. What if she caught me in her moment of omniscience and pried through my head and found out that I had NO will. What right does that give me. What right does that give me, to call myself an angel. Let alone the first Angel at all... My will to complete the divine duty, it completely balanced out and sizzled to a stop in my ambitions soft. Obligations tugged in the opposite direction to the sudden dedication I felt. It was slowly gleaning into me, and I tugged harder to my bell. Looking down at the little waking dreams I soon found out that the little Millenia child had daylight dreams of his own. The Dreamweaver Bell rung. Daylight dreams of discovering the world, of his...his helplessness to the elements. His will to be safe and his will to be protected.... I wept like a child. In my small silence, It was like the moment of happiness and fulfillment, one that I never felt before. I wept. Maybe it was my remorse, maybe it was my hesitation. Lie did not my dreamweaver bell. I felt numb to my task, my hands were numb. I held back my sniffs as I gazed from afar, hidden...Yes I hid a lot. I gazed from afar. at the wholesome experience of them both. The blue spirit motioning to the little one who motioned back even though both couldn't talk. An intimate scene which I believe both of them had every right to live through. I...I wanted him to experience life. Him as in the little one. And suddenly my senses poured. I wanted him to experience life. I wanted him to feel what it was like. To live a beautiful world which we the angels helped mould. To bring peace in the heavens. I wanted him to be so much more. Wiping the sand from my face my tears got some in my eyes but i quickly shook it off.
(x). In quiet of the dawn. I made my decision. I wanted him to live I wanted him to live. In my jingles of the dreamweaver bell I named him more then the world spirit ever did. I named the Millenia child...Vovi. I wanted him to live. I wanted to watch him like a guardian I've made my choice. One day, I hope to return again. One day I hope to meet him in person when my deals with Heaven is done...Whatever it takes.
Whenever my hands reached the bell, I kept on getting memories of Amigaelé's dreams. That confusing mess that I only softly grazed from her mind. That fear which it wrought me. I think I was just paranoid again -I shook it off. Call me a seer for that is what it felt like. I hid low in the distance, sleeping when they did. Waking when they did. I saw their beautiful journey through my eyes. And for one moment, I felt like I never wanted to leave. The express of longing in my mind ended as i felt my heart feel whole. The music box played in the distance and though I couldn't hear it. The smile in the little one's face made me melt inside. Blending in, I sometimes flew far up the skies. Pretending to be searching. I didn't want the world spirit to know. So I often summoned whisps of clouds high in the atmosphere which I-knew would've often made the vision demeter (the mirror thing which the angels peered upon the world from) a bit foggy and hard to observe. I would play in the air and swoop around. Spinning in circles as their happiness filled my heart. The affection balanced out and soon I felt like I had no divine duty. No divine intervention in this. And as the small small hatchling and the spirit reached the city of glass. I felt like my role was done. My role as a guardian. I did not want to purpose my reign. For one moment, I lost all care in the world. I was surprised. The spirit was nowhere to be seen. And I saw a little hatchling waving upwards towards me. Perhaps the Millenia child realised me? No that wtas impossible. The deariness flooded my heart and the longing made my heart feel full. I wanted him to live his life. I didn't want to bring back the 'fruit' so soon. My mother spirit, My Amigaelé. Please give me amnesty, give amnesty to the child and I. And let us return at a later date. And perhaps then can I find him. and perhaps then may he be ready to return. As afterall...- I waved back at the little clumsy hatchling outside the city of glass. A name sprung in my mind and I held the bell tighter. I saw the hatchling gaze up into the sky in wonder, and soon I motioned back my my goodbye. "Bye bye as well...Vovi". I chirped. In the bare winds as I prepared to fly. Back to the pantheon I heard a little chirp back. I could not explain why my feelings melted but it did. I feel like I have fulfilled all that I wished to see. I feel like I've found this chunk of heart I missed. I felt whole. And I know now I have the bravery to return to heaven, after all these days of watching and bewildering. I feel brave enough to return. To throw off these dreams to throw off these fears I had. These stresses. I knew the mother spirit would understand. She would understand as she always did- I smiled. The foggy thoughts of the little one and the spirit welled up in me. Breathed new motivation, new empathy. A new love I've never felt before. I raced up before the sky. Waiting for the holy receptacle, the nebulae to bring me through. My mind raced. I wanted him to live his life. I wanted him to feel what it was like. I wanted everything for him, which I could never feel in the emptiness and cold of the Heavenly pantheon. I wanted so much more. Stopping still of my trajectory, I gazed back, my wings keeping me aloft in still flight. I gazed down upon the world and once again waved my fairwell. See you in 15 years Vovi...
(y). Soft bid goodbye. I gazed upon the world. I decided...I will meet him again in 15 years. 15 was my lucky number. And so with that I gave superstitiously to him as well.
Grand entrance, the world spirit brought her back. my paws, my paws were empty handed. I saw an angelic figure wait between the row of tables near the center of the hall and attrium of nebulae. It was the second angel- I barely saw her silhouette. She in deepest gratitude welcomed me. Just by her presence she usually did not speak much. I saw the looming figure of a concerned world spirit behind her. As the stars of the other angels manifested in the background. The second angel would he there upon my entrance back. My paws were empty handed. The little bulbs of small stars raised upon her strange shoulder wings made of two gigantic leaves. She stood in silent serenity. Hand reaching out towards me. The spirits of the other angels closed and I turned my head askewer. The second angel spoke.
(z). A strange reception. The second angel before the first. The first is empty handed. The second had an appeal.
Grand entrance and her appeal. The second angel rarely ever spoke before but she did now so. Under the backdrop of the world spirit. my hands were empty. And it seemed like the world spirit knew- this time she did not speak. The voice of the second angel was so beautiful. I have never heard it like so before. There was so much forgiveness in it. So much care. It was as if she were an extension of Amigaelé herself, yet at the same time not. I felt it. She spoke the thoughts of the world spirit-no- The world spirit spoke through her. Her voice calmed my heart and so I bowed down in regality. Worrying less now and wondering what comes next. And she had a strange beckon. a forgiveness which extended directly through the world spirit herself. I for one thought that I was done for but alas I was not. It felt like the world spirit's patience had no end. She would forgive and forgive, just as the Second angel beckons to me now. Telling me...Telling me- there's a chance, there's a chance! The soothing voice that we could still help her! regardless if I failed my divine 'duty' or not.
(aa). Come! Sister of heaven. Angel of clouds....You could still help mother! Please...We miss you
Grand entrance, the world spirit brought her back. my paws, my paws were empty handed. At least that was where all the angels and the world spirit's gaze focused on. I had not with me...The Millenia Child. I had not with me, the divine duty I promised to complete. The world spirit peaked, her eyes opened a bit again - which she rarely did in the grand ceremonies. Grand gathering. Especially when the halls were full. She smiled. She always smiled. Each time the differences would be so subtle as much a glow in her cosmic beauty. The angels did not speak, nor did they show any candid expressions. The world spirit was silent, but the little symphonies played in the background...still. I was afraid, but at the same time I knew I had to. And as the eyes were on me and the brightness of the stars bloomed. It seemed like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Amigaelé's expectations were never meant to be met with lightly. But I knew she had a soft hand but an absolute reign. Though I know she was motherly, her love was unending I'd think... ofcourse she would forgive me. Ofcourse, I think she would understand. I think she would understand after I let her look into my mind. But I was still shy. I propped the dreamweaver bell against my side as I bowed in all regality. I asked... I gently wished upon the world spirit. I...in my calmest tone approached. My approach turned into a wish, which soon turned in a beg. I wanted to bide my time. I wanted more days for the little child to experience the world beneath. I wanted him to live! I bided for a little more time. I wanted to watch over him. I knew the world spirit was benevolent. I asked Amigaelé what she thought. And it seemed like her vision, compared to the vision she approached me with a few cycles ago...seemed to have changed. Changed just very slightly, to me and only me. The request of hers were not heard by any other angel ever so it was all on me. I begged for more time and the benevolent world spirit would agree. It seemed like though her patience never withered, it felt like that just one of these day It would. Ever since I'd come back. It was the same ceremony ever. Everytime it was me, me being not prepared as I struggled upon my weaves of ribbons, and a commotion growing louder and louder. Everytime she did it, it was the same. It seemed like in formality the angels acted the same either. As usual I'd be confronted by the second angel first, she would beckon to me come! Sister of Heaven. Angel of clouds...You could still help mother! Please...We miss you. I heard this quote so many times, I saw the same ceremony repeat so many more. Everytime was the same. Everytime when I 'pretended' to not get the Millenia child, it would repeat and she would bring me back. After the ceremony- as usual I would've been sent down to the world and I was sent up again. The benevolent spirit sent me down to the world and I was sent up again. I felt like I was a failure. I felt like there was no way to back up this task. I felt like her request was...unchangable I felt like it was impossible for any nor other angel to take upon a task. Not an albino, not an angel. Not even the omniscient world spirit herself. It was almost...almost as if it was only meant for me. A destiny I was forced to take. The commotions the gatherings and all would just feel repetetive. And soon I would be upon the great halls of angels again. Being brought back through the eye of the nebulae. Soon like everytime before. I would be begging. I would be asking the world spirit if I could bide some more time. Like always, it was just a request it was nothing formal. But she kept falling back on that. Days became months which became years. I used the time to hide myself upon the world, upon the couds. Especially once the 15 year mark had passed.
(bb). I gave in.
I think I buckled. I have to admit, at times, and all these years. Though for all these times I was brought back again I would never have comprehended that I would even as much as buckle and give in. Especially for this time. Today. The expectations of heaven felt like an anvil made of stars. The divine task would never end until it was done. I think I buckled. Ever since I met Vovi again in the City of glass, ever since the times I have held his hand, shared my little cloud animals. I would be drawl by this strange sense. The looming fact how this will happen again, and again, and again, and again until I completed the task. The looming sense that it could be too much for me...Forcing me to make it happen. I was given a simple task...Point my bell at his face and let thine divine light cover and 'bring him in' to be one with the bell. So I may return him to heaven in peace. Just hold the bell up. And let it finish the work. Maybe one day I will see him again. The temptation was real. At least the force was...Especially when I found Vovi in person again. And then everytime she found that I did...I would be sent back to heaven. In hopes that I had brought the millenia fruit with me. A divine audit. How did I do, where did I go. Did I understand her orders? Everyday grew daunting...repetetive. She asked me...she asked me if I could just 'pluck the plant by its head and bring it back to her' sometimes. And even though it seemed as if all angels were trapped in a loop, doing the same thing, doing the same gestures. I was out of words. I didn't know what to say. But for every moment I tried to motion my refusal, she'd bring me back. Wintersparky would cheer me on, over and over again. Exact same phrase exact everything. Libra would slam her paws down and gaze in extreme interest. The other angels always did the same they'd always do. and the whole process would begin again. and again. Almost in monotone-ity... She'd say... 'bring me back the millenia child and I will make it right'. She said it everytime. It was almost as if Amigaelé possessed full reign of my halo, and for every moment I did not 'finish my task' she rewound us angels. she rewinded me up again. and the whole ceremony would begin. I would hide upon the world and I would hide so hard. In my times, I would've gradually visited Vovi in his life more. But for everytime I was out in the open...They would bring me back. They would bring me back...My eyes were already full of tears and my mind was in remorse. I felt a bit depressed. I felt bound by my actions. Amigaelé always acted the same. It was always her gentle divine claw, stroking my chin and making me gaze up. I used to smile. I used to wicker and blink, sometimes more sometimes less. But times like these...The years passed and I could not anymore. Now...I was in tears. I was in tears. my face caught in frown. I did not want to... I did not want to. The 15 year mark passed as my mind grew heavy. Heavy like rainclouds, and yes - it did rain in the desert recently due to my wake of stress. I tried and I tried. I didn't want to hurt him I wanted him to live his life. I know 15 was my lucky number but I knew that he deserved so much more...! My hand sollemn reached for the bell as I pushed it upwards, its light spilling like a quasar. Even though I knew it could be painless, even though I knew it would just...'hold him' enough to bring him back to Amigaelé as one. I could not fanthom what possibly happened next.
(cc). I watched the searing light pour out. Like tentacles of pure light it latched around him and pulled at him.
I think it was twice already. I tried to make him to look inside the bell. It was too much at first but I had to try again. This time... It was more then I bid for. The light was violent. As if a monster left unhinged, It pulled itself out of the bell... Like a welling monster of dreams it quickly tried to latch onto the body of the Millenia Child. I saw some of his leaves waste away I saw blown askewer fur which blew in the opposite direction. Pieces of enamel horns broke off and I quickly regretted my choice. I was a monster. I was a monster in the bidding of Mother Amigaelé. what I did was WRONG. I was glad I held back. I was glad I held back. And as the light engulfed my most beloved. I for one second thought that I was going to kill him. It felt like I was killing him, and I so desperately pulled back against the light. So desperately curbing the Dreamweaver or whatever it has become. Holding it back and finally...Yanking it out of wrest. Out of Vovi's direction. I wanted him to be as one. I never expected this. all my reluctance...All my stress. It had a purpose. and I...I had a purpose as well...For what I refused to do so long, even I could not fanthom something as violent as this could happen- I slung the bell aside and quickly embraced the dragon of leaves. Held him tight as the bell sithered out into the sand. A faint lavender glow still emitting from it. I held the knocked out dragon so tight. So tight. I couldn't believe what I had done. I felt sick. My stomach was sick. I felt mortal. I broke down in tears. I held him tight. Wondering if the Leaf dragon was okay. His body seethed of smoke.
(dd). The Little one was thrown into delirium and it was the last thing I wanted. Smoke billowed out of his body and I quickly regretted my actions one by one.
How could something be so... How could the world spirit be so...so...Wretched in her actions. Why th bell? Why did it burn him? What fairness did this bring when the world spirit could've just done the same to I as to him. Bring my body to heaven through the eye of the Nebulae...Why him. Why the blinding light. The thought shuddered through me. Especially as the memory undug itself from the confines of my mind. 'pluck the Millenia fruit from its head if you must'. That sounded wrong. it was wrong. All my expectations were shattered as I thought I had committed the ultimate sin. A fire so worthy...snuffed out of life. I watched the stricken broken flakes of blackened leaves blow into the wind. and a few of fur. Some of enamel. I just sat in silence watching the one I held so close. Hoping he was alright. Wondering if the fiery spark I've found through him, since the first day I saw...Still persisted still persisted. And even if It did I wished...I wished. that he would at least not hate me. not become someone else. Not become one whom grows on vengeance and hate. The thought scared me. The Leaf dragon awoke. And I quickly stood again, regal as ever. Just a knee-jerk movement. I stood regal, and my wings adjusted themselves. My face was full of denial and embarassment. I gazed at him so carefully quickly trying to break out of my pose...My halo...withered as my feelings fell like a rock. He parted his maw and said...
(ee). He brushed it off. He said...It was something something about his red mountain dreams. I had no idea.
He simply apologized to me. Almost as if it were normal. Even as much as it tolled him, even as much as pain it seemed to toll him. He forgave as immediate as he was hurt. My heart dropped. He sounded no different he sounded like he was one and himself again. My heart dropped. Dispossessed I quickly kicked the bell aside. Even though I knew it hurt my hind it did not matter. I strolled up to it. My walk first fast but slowing. timid to more timid. I stood still one of my fores raising up almost as if ready to ask what happened. My mouth kept itself shut. my mind was no longer rushing in the flurry of thoughts. The leaf drake shook his head and soon the sand which found its way there flew off and blew into the wind. My whisps of clouds quickly formed and helped him up, brushed off the dirt and kibble which found its way upon the precious drake. My eyes were like in the picture. They were so concerned. So concerned. All he did was mutter something. He told me not to worry, and that he had nightmares sometimes. And that these nightmares would make him kind of...'burn out' as he'd say like that. I shook my head in disbelief... Was he really covering me up like that? Was he really finding myself an alibi to give him? My gaze could only surround him. My clouds embraced at the Leaf drake as I had no other words but to look and look. The leaf dragon recovered fast. My footsteps were locked and I was...I was just befuddled. Concerned but in a hopeful way. I covered my face. I covered my face as the Leaf dragon wandered off back through his dome of glass. Promising that we would 'dance amongst the dunes' more in the future. I shook my head and fell to a sitting position, My tail weak. I turned around. Trying to cover my shame. Turning around I nodded in a bit of hopeful. But I quickly hid my emotions behind as i turned around.
(ff). I felt as if I just wanted to renounce it all. Just...Renounce it all.
I turned around and ran. I tossed the bell aside as I wandered deep into the burning boiling desert. I knew I had to part. I often told him so before. In order for the world spirit to not discover my actions. I parted, and I ran so fast. My sin was unforgivable. I couldn't believe I did that...My heart was so slow. I felt hurt. I dropped the bell. I dropped it and kicked it aside. as I wandered in the distance. Dissociated. I waiting uponst the horizon. Awaiting my judgement yet again and again. My mind was full of bile towards the world spirit. Upset...That one would do this to...my inspiration.
I felt so much shame...So much 'heavy'. I knew soon she would open the nebulae gates. I knew soon she would usher me upon the pantheon. Usher me again in it and everything would repeat. This time I used the bell, This time I would return without my bell. I think I overstayed my welcome to this world. To my task. And to her nebulous eyes, the world spirit Amigaelé.
(gg). The pain of her everlasting ever repeating torment. The torment of kindness. The torment of repeat. I finally discovered how fanatical she was about returning the Child. I broke. Though I tried to stay regal the tears still poured from my face- I broke. I could not possibly serve a heaven like this. I would never hurt the Millenia Child. I-I¨m decided. I will leave this heaven.
Tears ran out of my eyes and I could not understand why. Why she was so persistent about it. Why it was always the same. and why did she always say that I had to 'pluck the fruiting flower off its neck' as she sometimes would randomly say. I just could not. The visions I got from her mind long ago through the Dreamweaver made so much more sense each time i was brought back...It would make more sense. My fears alight. 15 years passed and I was already full of tears. I could not back down on my promise. My promise of letting the Millenia child live. Neither could I see any remark as Amigaelé's request seemed to somehow turn itself into a divine order, a divine task...An unbreakable union. My halo felt heavy, and I did NOT want to do what I was meant for. I just could not. I remember the light. the light was so strong it was vapourising him. I was lucky I stopped in time. And though the world spirit was persistant, I was already in tears. My tail jammed the Nebulae gates open just a bit before they could close. Their clamping pain felt upon me. I ripped off a ribbon off my neck. My halo started shuddering as she said the same same thing again. Bring me back the Millenia Child and I shall make things right. The world spirit said as always. My tail kept the Nebulae gates open as I denounced myself immediatly to the wholly silence of the entire hall of angels. The loop was broken.
(hh). The crying roar which filled the universum. and I finally spoke my mind. It felt like everything was torn asunder yet at once. Despite my tears, it felt like the heavy weight was lifted upon my back.
I had never seen an expression change so fast before. I have never seen much furor or anger. The dust of nebulae around me ignited. The pure seething anger of the world spirit peeled off the once benevolent spirit I knew. Her roar pierced the heaven and reverberated amongst the stars. I sensed pure fear, yet my anger, my stress met the same. I was silent in my anger. Silent in my rage. Silent before the raging spirit whom lost her mind. Amigaelé roared. I think she found out. My halo cracked and soon I tossed even more ribbons off my body. the one with the little bell symbol clanging across the floor stopping short off the ledge. I stood still as the wrath of stars wrapped around me. I felt it singing me. Turning the stars. My head dipped low. I renounced my angelhood. I announced my will to leave heaven. I turned that will eventually into a resolute task. It was my resolution. I refused to give in. The world spirit blared. She blared. Anger, furor, turmoil. The sky spun. The world spun. Day and night became much faster to her heartbeats yet I stood still. Before her was a new Dreamweaver she intended to give me to bring home Vovi but that was something I distanced myself from. I'm sorry. Mother. I said. As I pried open the nebulae gates with her permission, the one I held open just in time with my tail. I cried. I was crying so hard. I told her. I told her. I would hide the Millenia Child from her. I would make him safe. I will hide him away in the world where nobody could ever find him again. I told her...That the Millenia child was not hers to take. I ran.
(ii). "Everyone...Sleeping with their gods. Someone's gonna die. So much noise,, we were born to love" Oxygen - Blackfield
I had this talent, it has been in the making for tenthousand tenthousands of years. In my flurry of curious and my...my dreamy lucid moments hiding in the hall of angels. and the halls of the pantheon. I used to hide. In swoons of clouds, mists of nebulae I would bring in my wake. gently burying my path amongst the sky, gently hiding me under a soft blanket of obscurity. It was what I followed. It was the nature of clouds. It was me. I ran so fast. I fled upon the world of Nû. Covering myself in the guise of clouds, I knew that this was my only way. I forgave my angels so hard. I forgave my sisters, I forgave my halo. I knew. and I hope they could understand too... That this is who I am. and this is how I want to fulfill that hole in my heart. I had no duties with a twisted divinity. I had no duty against the spirit of the world. I-I ran so far. I promised that one day I would be back for him. I will never break any of my promises. I flew so far. far back towards the nation of glass, back to Novi Sceurna. Back to the place we once called home.
I am the one he always knew as Hazy. Angel of clouds. The dreamweaver. His angel.
"hide the things which matter most in life...so you may keep them safe forever".
end.
Epilogue
Upon the mountains of a million peaks. I sought refugee in a place I once trained at, a place I once hid at. It was called...The House of Thunder. I knew that the world spirit may one day find me. I knew that her furor was infinite. I knew that the only way I could elude her was to hide. I had no other choice. Upon the mountains of a million peaks. I sought refugee in a place I once called home. When Vovi and I last parted. We promised to meet here. I still await the day when it comes. I know that my little cloud animals will keep him safe I just know it. And until that day will come. I will protect this world.
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Character Role in Story
Deuteragonist - Second Protagonist
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