"..."

CURIOUS • HUMOUROUS • ENTHUSIASTIC

Sharply intelligent, personable, and generally well-liked among his students, Professor Ipswich seemed like an obvious choice for tenure. What they didn't expect was that this hard-won position only took the reigns off, and now 'Professor Sparky' clings like a barnacle to Wellstone University. They can't get rid of him no matter what he does to the wiring.

Not that he's bad at his job- far from it, he grades his papers (mostly) on time, lectures admirably, and remains one of the more popular teachers of Advanced Ancient Technologies and Computational Logic. It's his research that makes people uncomfortable.

After hearing word of the 'death laser' fired upon hunters of an assumed Fourth Guild Fugitive, Sparky has become obsessed with recreating the device- the key problem of course, being the conflicting reports, the lack of tangible technology for reverse engineering, and the alarming pushback of his peers.

Unfortunately, Sparky has successfully built what he calls his 'prototype.' It doesn't, however, fire a laser, much to the relief of everyone around him. Instead, it currently seems to fire a taser strong enough to only kind of sort of cook a phatapin. It's fine. Eggs and omelettes and all that. He's taking a sabbatical to work out the kinks.