Kalei

I am Kalei. If you want to know anything about me beyond that, I couldn’t really tell you. I used to know what I was, but I am not the same anymore. I used to sing and dance and people would travel great distances to watch me. They said I had a beautiful voice. They said I was special, talented, and gifted. They said I could make the coldest heart melt and the happiest soul cry. They said my voice was worthy of kings and queens, and of the stars themselves.

I loved performing. Everything about it, the excitement, the energy, but most of all I loved the praise. It seems selfish but I felt special. I felt special when the audience would stamp their feet and scream my name. I felt like I was important. I felt like I mattered. And it was the greatest feeling in the world.

When I sang, I would feed off the energy of the audience. I would feel their emotions and use them as fuel for my own music. It was amazing to have so many people come together and be able to connect to them in a way that only a performer can understand.

The only downside of my career was the expectations. People were expecting to see something bigger and better each time. They wanted to be shocked and amazed and no matter how talented I was, I had my limits. I started getting stressed. I had to outdo myself every time. I was worried what would happen if people were disappointed in my performance. This was what I had done for my entire life. It was the only thing I knew how to do. If I failed, well, I didn’t know what would happen and that scared me more than anything.

I started adding stunts to my performance. Making my performance more dangerous seemed like an easy way to make sure my audience stayed captivated. The only problem, was the obvious. It was dangerous. I never really thought about my stunts through the lens of my own safety, I was completely occupied with what everyone would think watching it. One day I went too far.

It’s difficult to remember. Not just because of the pain, but because of my shock. The whole ordeal seemed unreal. I had never considered I might get hurt, let alone die. I had brought in weapons, spears to be exact. Machines would fire them across the stage as I danced and sang. The audience loved it. They screamed each time a spear came close to me sighed in relief as it sailed by and I was left unscathed. I had a set path that would keep me safe from harm. I had practiced over and over and I never left the path. I don’t know what went wrong, I never got to find out. It was something with the machines I’m certain. There is no way I could’ve slipped up, I was too careful.

Either way, one minute I was perfectly fine, the next there was a sharp pain in my gut. I looked down to see myself impaled. The audience went quiet. They didn’t know if this was part of the show or an accident. My mind went blank. I wasn’t registering the pain, or anything else for that matter. I was trapped in my own little bubble of reality. Everything started to get fuzzy and then went dark.

When I woke up I didn’t know where I was, who I was, or what I was. I remembered my old life but it seemed distant and foreign. Like it was someone else’s life being playing for me on a screen and someone was telling me it was mine. I wandered aimlessly around my new surroundings. I opened my mouth to say something, I don’t remember what, but nothing came out. I couldn’t make a noise. I tried again but something was stopping me. I started crying but I still make no noise. Soon I had tired myself out and I fell asleep.

When I woke up for the second time I started walking. I had no direction or destination in mind, I just walked. I don’t know if it was fate, or just by chance but I found myself in front of a theater. It seemed familiar and comforting in this strange world. I went inside and found it empty. Slowly, I made my way onto the stage. I started dancing. I couldn’t sing, but in my head I could hear my own voice. I lost myself as I turned and twirled around that stage. When I finished, I lifted up my head to the sound of applause. A small group of people had gathered. I smiled and took a bow. Perhaps this world wasn’t so different to the one I had just left.

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