Loveless Lovelorn (Expanded Profile)

- Taller than average at 5'10. About 6' with shoes 

- His ears are notably long for a half elf and unusually long for a full elf. Loveless does not like his ears as people tend to make comments. He is glad that as an adult people have stopped touching them without asking (the answer is "no" you can't touch him). Mostly. People still grab at him on occasion.

- Has a light brown birthmark on his right hip. It is roughly shaped like an oval.

- Pale brown, curly hair. Wide nose bridge that has a bump to it. Full lips. Light green eyes that turn downward. Thick eyebrows that slant downward. 

- Resting expression makes him look sad

- Takes heavily after his father, really only shares  the trait of having a similar skintone with his mother

- Long, thin hands and fingers. It's one of those things where people either call his hands delicate or say something like spindly, spider hands.

- Has a small scar on the left side of his forehead that really is only noticeable to him

- He is left handed

- Willowy build, small waist. While Loveless does naturally have a lean frame, as an adult he more often than not is underweight. He burns a lot of calories due to constantly using magic and often skips meals if he's focused on a project. Loveless also struggles with disordered eating and will stop eating for periods of time when he feels like he doesn't have control over his life. 

- Occasionally wears a gold religious necklace he has owned since childhood. It is shaped like a diamond with two concentric circles in the center

- Wears cologne and smells like a mix of cedar, rosewood, and cloves. If he's been at work has a bit of an acrid burning scent to him. 

-Has two heraldic rings that he wears on occasion as he can make claims towards being a part of both families. Will wear the Lovelorn one by itself, but not the Pierce one as that is seen as bad form. As much as he hates wearing enchantments done by other people, the rings still have their original enchantments out of respect. He has added on to them, however.
He wears the Lovelorn one on his left hand's middle finger. It is made of gold with a rectangular ring face. This ring was made for his uncle who never got to wear it. The family badge design is simplified compared to its normal appearance. It depicts a leaf above a pen on the left side and a heron on the right; all of these figures are above two waves.
For the Pierce one, he wears it on his right hand's middle finger. It is an old, squared faced ring. It is silver in colour and made from nickel brass (?). The image depicts an eel that is twisted into an oval above two strawberry plants. The ring was originally his grandfather's and had been passed down through his family for generations.

- Later into his relationship with Barnabas, even though they cannot legally marry, the two exchange wedding rings. As per tradition in Isador, the rings have an inscription on the inside of the band that is meant to be statement towards the relationship or individual. Loveless' is a plain silver-coloured ring, the inside says, "A promise to never break this cobbler's heart."

(Loveless is a deeply damaged person who's entire character arc is based around him becoming less of a malicious asshole. How he was raised left him feeling as if that others will never love him out of choice, people only will love him due to obligation or for his skills or heritage. Most people are not fully aware of how bad of a person he is due to how careful Loveless is with how he portrays himself. People typically perceive him as a promiscuous coward who can be an outright asshole if you catch him in a bad mood, but a clever business man who makes exceptional goods.

At his best: thoughtful, well spoken, charming, meticulous, good memory, able to recall small details about people and conversations, gives very meaningful gifts and compliments, good at accessing risks and managing a business

At his worst: self-hating, self-sabotaging, cowardly, untrusting, paranoid, cruel. Vindictive and jealous. He's well aware of what hurts others and more than willing to say it. He says wildly fucked up things and then manipulates his way out of the mess he has made. If you let him keep talking he'll charm his way out of consequence

Often described as "dishonorable in all matters except for business"

(Loveless is mentally ill, albeit he never gets diagnosed due to era and cultural stigma. It effects his ability to trust in others and is part of the reason why he regularly ruins relationships out of fear of being used. Not all the slights against him are real, it is sometimes just his projecting or imagining intentions. It is part of the reason he has such contradictory actions to his feelings and values, and has issues with denial and avoidance. Part of him growing as a character is him dealing with his feelings of paranoia and allowing himself to trust in Barnabas, and to not always go with his knee-jerk reaction when it comes to his initial guess on other's intentions.)

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Untrusting - Loveless struggles to trust other people. He projects his insecurities onto others and believes that if he would do (or even lightly consider it) that someone else is fully willing to do that action too, especially if said action is harmful. He feels that people only attempt to get close to him in order to use him. People don't want him for him. They want him because he is a Lovelorn. Loveless will actively sabotage relationships because of these fears. He views his malicious habits as hurting others before they can hurt him.

Manipulative - Loveless habitually manipulates others both directly (words, actions, etc) and indirectly (rumour spreading, manipulating someone else to hurt someone else). He uses manipulation as a means to escape the consequences of his actions, to 'even' perceived slights against him, or simply because he's jealous and wants to hurt others. People are generally not fully aware of this part of him. They may think of him as a silver-tongued bastard, but not a life ruiner.

Jealous - He is a deeply jealous person. He gets especially envious of things that are the opposite of what he despises in himself. Solid relationship with both your parents? The ability to just let things go? Actually loving yourself? Loveless is wants things that he can either never have or requires him to fully change himself in order to get.

Coward - Loveless knows he is a physically weak man with very little skill when it comes to combat-based magic. He avoids confronting people directly to cut out the chance of getting hit. Loveless will also flake on plans if he feels like they will go awry and lead to injuring him. This man has no one's back in a fight. If he can't run from a situation, he will try to talk his way out of it.
This trait is one of the easiest negative traits for others to pick-up on and is considered one of his worst traits due to cultural views.  

Craves Control - Loveless craves to be in control of every situation he is in. He knows he can't make the world do exactly as he wants when he wants it, so he settles for controlling himself and his property. The way he dresses, talks, poses, and presents himself is all meticulously planned. He knows what image of himself he wants to craft for others. Loveless does have an eating disorder and will starve himself. This is not a constant thing, but flares up when he starts to feel like he has very little control of how his life is going. Loveless also has enchanted many of his possessions and portions of his store and house. Some things will only work if he uses them. Some things will only move if he moves them. He has purposefully made his living environment hostile to everyone but himself.

Vindictive - Loveless feels the need to get even whenever he feels that someone has slighted him. These offenses are both real and perceived. He rarely directly confronts someone about what they have done/what he thinks they are trying to do and instead hurts them through words or nuisance actions (like throwing away their house keys).

Promiscuous - He uses his sexuality as a means to hurt himself and others, as well as a way to get physical intimacy with little to no strings attached.

Private - Loveless has a crafted public persona. The Loveless most people know and the real Loveless are very different people. As well, Loveless hides what he considers important. People cannot hurt him with or take the things he cares about if they don't know about them in the first place. 

Intelligent - Loveless is a smart man with an excellent memory. He is most notable with his social intelligence, his ability to make connections, and enchanting based magics. Loveless unfortunately uses his social skills and recall mainly to be a mean and manipulative bastard. He knows what fucked thing to say in order to devastate someone and exactly how to weasel his way out of consequence.

Self-Hating - Loveless hates almost everything about himself. He thinks himself pretty, smart, and an extremely skilled cobbler and enchanter. All of that is meaningless though as all those factors cannot make anyone truly care about him. Everyone who likes him because of what he can offer them. Everyone who loves him only does so out of obligation. He does not feel worth any of the skills he possesses. He very much hates himself and doesn't understand how Barnabas can truly love him for himself.
He also projects his own insecurities onto others. Loveless assumes that if he would do something (or even lightly consider it) others are likely to do it too

Prideful - As much as he hates himself, he still thinks himself as someone who deserves praise. He is handsome and talented. He thinks himself as better than most and people need to recognize this.

Cruel - He is mean. He is cruel. He is an absolute bastard. Loveless can and will say wildly fucked things to hurt others. He'll start rumors to ruin lives. This man hates himself and will tear everyone down to his miserable level. Later in life, he does come to recognize exactly how terrible he is. To his horror, he does not know if he can change as being cruel has become a knee-jerk reaction.

Independent - 

- Hides in his house when upset and will refuse to speak to or see anyone. He'll generally pretend he isn't home. He does have a secret room he'll normally go and hang out in. If it's really bad, he'll go for the first place he can feel hidden in (ie. he'll sit in a closet and cry.)

- Sings to himself while alone (later will do it with Barnabas present). Will sing to comfort himself when he's upset.

- Watches his fish while trying to think of solutions to problems

- Really spreads out his things while making notes about plans for enchanting 

- Speaks and reads Isadorian and Sovorian (central dialect) fluently. (knows Sovorian because it's considered a good language to pick up + people mistake him as an elf all the damn time). Can read Middle and Old Isadorian due to ecclesiastical and magic texts (old magic instruction books are basically just religious writings). 

- Cries when he starts getting really upset. The kind of person to be yelling at you while trying not to sob. 

- Very rarely swears

- Hates having people in his house unsupervised. 

- Loveless occasionally helps Barnabas with his work on his free days (and vice versa) so the two of them are able to spend more time together 

- Doesn't smoke, seldomly drinks. When he does drink it is typically a small amount over several hours.

- Hates nicknames, especially ones based off his name. Only lets Barnabas call him by a pet name after they confess that they do love each other.

-Wears cologne and smells like a mix of cedar, rosewood, and cloves. If he's been at work, he also has a bit of an acrid burning scent to him. 

- Wonderful singing voice. Knows how to play the piano fairly well

- Fantastic at billiards

- Struggles with disordered eating that stems mostly from his constant need to feel in control, but has some messy ties to religious ideals that conflate sacrifice and suffering with goodness. It is not a constant. However, people that are in close contact with him can sometimes pick up when it becomes a durated issue. 

(Barnabas is namely the person who notices, and somewhat uses it as a gauge of when Loveless is lying about being okay. This is an issue that is never directly talked about as Barnabas correctly guessed that it is something that Loveless would adamantly deny if asked about it directly and would only lead to a fight. However Barnabas does try to indirectly support Loveless when he notices his mental health is getting worse. Loveless is aware of what Barnabas is doing, even if he isn't willing to talk about or even admit to himself exactly what is bothering him. It's simply nice to have someone take notice of his health and to physically and verbally assure him that he is still cared about)

- Loves strives to be independent and rely on others as little as possible. He thinks that by relying primarily on himself, he is able to have better control of the events of his life than he would otherwise. As well, he rather not put the reputation of his work in someone else's hands as he thinks no one will take it as seriously as him (so he refuses to take on apprentices and never establishes any lasting partnerships).

- Genuinely comes to believe that he is the best enchanter in Alpin. Doesn't think he is the best in the country, but surely one of the better ones.

Religion - Loveless is a devout follower of Yharwel. While not a fan of congregational worship, he still attends church out of social obligation. He prefers to worship on his own, but not going to church would impact his social standing and his career. Loveless prefers to go to church in-between service, but attends a service during the holy day of the week. He averages going to church twice a week. Loveless does pray every day. He is not the best at following all the rules to his religion. He does not think much about the afterlife until after his mother's death which causes him to reflect heavily upon his own mortality and behaviour. Loveless believes that he will not go to his religion's equivalent to heaven. He is crushed by this concept, but knows that he has done so to himself and might have a chance at redemption if he really worked at it. However, he thinks that the chance is overall extremely slim and he has done so much long lasting damage it will not matter. Loveless does think less of those who are not the same religion as him (this view does soften drastically after he starts getting close to Barnabas.)

Loveless had a moderately difficult time accepting that he is romantically interested in men partially because of his religion. Homosexuality is discouraged, but not explicitly disallowed. Loveless has seen laws surrounding homosexuality soften from being punishable by things ranging up to execution, to being legal to extent with some cities still allowing jail time, to being legal but still being seen as relatively taboo. Loveless knows that the church has heavy sway on Isador's laws and the church's stance very suddenly softened causing laws to slowly follow. The church did still allow for many, many years for people to be heavily punished. Loveless did personally witness one of the last executions for homosexuality as a young teen. It has left him with long lasting religious guilt towards his his sexuality. As well as outright revulsion (plus straight up denial) to some aspects of it.

Partially due to his grandmother's influence, Loveless decides that it is in the end okay that he is interested in men as to love and care for another is an act of good, and he very much does want a relationship where he and the other person are loving partners. The religious guilt never goes away, but he does have some reasoning to cling to to help himself justify his sexuality.

 Loveless did have to consider how his relationship with Barnabas fits into his religious views. Barnabas is undead and labeled as an inherent evil. Barnabas struggles to be in church yards, it is physically painful for him to enter churches, and is injured by holy objects. Loveless eventually decides that Barnabas is an example of the religious view that those who fall outside of inherent goodness can go against their inherent nature of evil to become something greater. One of the greatest act of good comes from those who actively choose it. Loveless firmly believes that Barnabas is a better person than him due to this. It does bother him a bit that Barnabas does not follow the same faith as him, but has opted not to pressure him into converting. It does upset him that if they were ever able to legally marry it could not be done in a church.

He struggles with the sense of inherent goods and evils.

Following the Three Seas War, Loveless is occasionally asked to donate his skill and enchant things for the church. He generally does the masks that are worn by clergy who interact with witchhunters. He probably does this once or twice a year. It makes him incredibly nervous to be associated with witchhunters to any extent due to how witches work. Despite this, his want to serve his god is stronger than his fear. 

Magic - The concept of magic is directly tied into religion for Loveless. He believes heavily in the tenet that everything has a spirit and while you cannot change the spirit of something, but you can change how it is perceived and how it interacts with the world. He believes that magic is a holy act. It is a somewhat outdated belief, but thinks that performing magic is almost an equivalent to prayer and the actual act of casting shouldn't be done in front of others as a trick or to show off. Loveless does not believe others are worthy to own something that he put his full effort into, so why should he make them something that shows off his full talent. Loveless also thinks that he isn't worthy of the full-scale of his talent. He will make himself extremely nice things, but nothing that REALLY shows off what he can do. The ONLY time he does put his full effort in is when he makes a pair of shoes for Barnabas after Barnabas accepts his proposal that they get married if they are legally able and, until then, they should at least buy each other a wedding ring. 

Loveless is piss poor at using magic in a combat sense (both offensive/defensive). He in theory should be excellent at it, but winds up fucking up the actual casting due to nerves. It's not just being in a fight that gets him, it's the fear that he will mess up the casting and will seriously injure himself.  This feeds into a cycle of where he gets nervous about fucking up, so he fucks up, so he becomes more nervous about fucking up, so he fucks up worse. Likewise, Loveless could have gone into curse breaking, but doesn't have the disposition for it. 

He excels at sensing magic. Loveless had a knack detecting magic as a child, but is only as good as he is through years of hard work. His ability to 'feel' magic lends to his ability to do enchanting. He is able to see it as well, but not on the same level. Loveless is noteworthy when it comes to his enchanting. While living, he is known for his ability to do: intricate and interlocking (ones that feed into each other and boost the overall effect), long-lasting (effects take years to degrade), hard to break (hard for others to remove), and subtle (hard to sense unless you are looking for it) enchantments. After death, he becomes known for his ability to completely mask enchantments and his ability to make secret compartments. 

Loveless is tight-lipped about how he enchants things. He wants praise for his work, but also doesn't want his techniques to be replicated nor to have people suddenly realizing exactly how enchanted all of his possessions are. Loveless takes detailed notes and makes plans before actually trying out a new enchantment. If others actually knew what he was up to, he would be considered odd for how long he spends tweaking a process before actually applying an enchantment to something he wants to keep or was paid to enchant. His favourite enchantment to apply to his own things is to have them be a nuisance to everyone but him (ie. object won't move unless he moves it or a pen that won't take ink unless he does it). 

Barnabas Zedok - Partner - His lifelong partner that he comes to consider himself married to. Originally introduces him as "the man I am seeing" but switches to calling him "my close friend, the apothecary" once he starts falling in love with him.  Loveless feels like it is no one's business to know how much he cares for Barnabas, and if they can't figure out the two of them are a couple from context clues, that is on them. Even though they do fight and Loveless occasionally finds Barnabas to be difficult, Loveless loves Barnabas deeply but he thinks himself as unworthy of the man's affections. Loveless hates himself and can't understand why anyone would actually like him, let alone love him without ulterior motives. Loveless actively tries to curb his bad behaviors in hopes that Barnabas will want to keep him in his life. He knows he's a cruel man, but doesn't want to be that way towards Barnabas. Barnabas is one of the only people he will give genuinely apologies to. At the same time, he'll actively try to sabotage his relationship. He'll pick fights, break up with him for little to no reason. He loves him, but is frightened of how intimately Barnabas knows him. This man could ruin him if he wanted, but doesn't. Loveless also does not understand why Barnabas likes him and actively continues to love him. Barnabas has no obligation to love him, but he does. Barnabas for some strange reason loves him even knowing how wicked he can be. One of the most meaningful things Barnabas has said to him is, "The man I fell in love with is a cobbler. I would love you whether you were a Lovelorn or not." 

Loveless does struggle a bit with justifying their relationship in a religious sense. Homosexuality is discouraged, but not explicitly disallowed. The biggest thing is that Barnabas is undead and labeled as an inherent evil. However, Loveless feels that Barnabas is an example of the religious view that those who fall outside of inherent goodness can go against their inherent nature to become something greater. One of the greatest act of good comes from those who actively choose it. Loveless firmly believes that Barnabas is a better person than him. As well, he thinks that it doesn't matter exactly what Barnabas is or whether he was ever a human, Barnabas is a good man. The fact that Barnabas does feel the temptation to eat others makes Loveless nervous. By the time he learns this about Barnabas, Loveless believes that Barnabas will not hurt him as the man has had plenty of opportunity to do so and hasn't. 

Loveless finds it fascinating how bad Barnabas is at magic, but guesses it makes sense with undead being the anthesis to how magic is. Barnabas' lack of ability to read magic is comforting as Loveless worries about his methods for enchanting being stolen. The man can't steal what he can't understand. Loveless eventually grows comfortable enough with Barnabas to allow the man to sit next to him as he works on enchanting. Sitting in comfortable silence is huge for Loveless and a sort of proof to him that Barnabas likes him more than just physically. Loveless' favourite thing that Barnabas does is that Barnabas let's him lay his head in his lap while he reads and that Barnabas will play with his hair while doing so. Loveless struggles for years, trying to grapple with the fact that he is falling for Barnabas. Even when he finally admits it to himself, it takes him a while to gather the courage to say it aloud. Being known intimate is frightening for him. Loveless feels like he is taking a huge risk letting Barnabas know him as the man could hurt him if he really wanted. 

Loveless's knee-jerk reaction to having some sort of upset in his life is to break-up with Barnabas. He is aware that he does this and hates it, but struggles to get himself to stop. As their relationship progresses, Loveless becomes deeply grateful that Barnabas begins to take him saying that they should to break up as Loveless just asking to be left alone so he can calm down. It crushes Loveless to know that Barnabas recognizes how cruel he is and that he has been the target of some of his worst behaviour. Loveless genuinely tries to make it up to the man. Barnabas becomes the only person Loveless will willing leave alone in his house and store, as well as let him watch him enchant or hear him sing to himself.

(Their relationship is weird and turbulent. It is toxic early in, but eventually settles into something that is overall beneficial for both of them as they grow as people. They set firm boundaries and expectations for behavior as well as actually work on themselves so they can be a better partner. They listen to each other, acknowledge their shortcomings, and actually do things to change. They go from dating from a few weeks at a time, then breaking up for months to dating for months at a time, breaking up, then making up later that day.)

(Jealous of his ability to allow others in his life and that he so actively tries to be good and succeeds. Jealous that Barnabas has a lot of people in his life that care about him and people view him as a good person. Jealous that Barnabas is willing to be open about his sexuality even at risk of his social standing and career.)

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Minerva Lovelorn- Grandmother - Loveless loves her and knows that she loves him. He knows that she is one of the two people in his life that actually give a damn about him. However, he has complicated feelings towards their relationship and worries that she wouldn't love him if she didn't have a familial obligation towards him. He feels that Minerva's love for him is done partially out of guilt for how Erda turned out, sorrow that Linton died so young, and that she feels the need to prop up the only Lovelorn heir. He has noticed that Minerva is inherent cold and tough on others, but is softer to him which feeds into these worries. He feels that his suspicions were partially confirmed when Minerva admitted that she regretted not taking him away from his mother and raising him herself. Still, she is the only family member he has that loves or even tolerates him. Loveless believes that Minerva does at least genuinely want what is best for him. While she may not be happy that he has abandoned the world of theatre almost entirely, he thinks that she means it when she praises him for his accomplishments in his career choice. He knows that he owns his current success partially to her and her connections.

Loveless does get frustrated that Minerva encourages him to keep his relationship with Barnabas quiet and to try to portray himself as heterosexual as possible. He doesn't feel like there is much of a point as it's an open secret that he has had past relationships with men. He lets her comments slide as he knows she only means well and is fine with him being in love with a man. Plus, he knows that Minerva very much approves of Barnabas and actually likes him.

Loveless struggles with the concept that his grandmother will die well before he does. Whether she has an obligation to love him or not, she loves him and is the only family member he really has. 

( They do love each other, but generations of family drama and tragedy add this tinge of sadness and fear to their relationship. Minerva does want what is best for him, but feels like she failed both her daughter and grandson. Loveless appreciates that she's been on his side his entire life, but worries if she loves him for him)

(Jealous of her ability to be seen as a cruel, but good person; that Minerva exhibits such conflicting traits with seeming ease. Jealous that she has close friends that she has purposefully tried and found true.)

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Erda Lovelorn - Mother - He thinks her stupid, vapid, and cruel without reason. He hates her viscerally and violently. He loves her despite everything she's done to him. It disgusts him how he feels. Loveless doesn't like thinking about his emotions regarding his mother. They are confusing and contradictory. It frightens him how much he can see himself in her. They are both cruel to be cruel. Manipulative others so they can get what they want. Loveless thinks the biggest difference between the two of them is that he just happens to be smarter.

He seldom sees her as an adult and tries to stay away from her as she tries to control his life even now. When they do meet, Loveless is seemingly polite to Erda. However he intentionally antagonizes her by bringing up aspects about his life that he knows upsets her. He adamantly denies that he has any interest in women as he knows how much she is against homosexuality. Once Barnabas becomes an important part of his life, it only furthers the rift between them as Erda makes active attempts to ruin their relationship by trying to play into Loveless' paranoia that people only interact with him in order to use him. Loveless doesn't want to admit how much she has impacted and continues to impact his choices. He's done things he wouldn't have solely because it would embarrass her and would sooner die than admit half of the stuff he's done. He also hates to admit that Erda probably does love him, but rather tell himself she treats him the way she does because she hates him.

Loveless heavily internalized things that Erda told him as a child, especially things surrounding his ability to be loved. When he was a child she would go from wanting to very actively be his mother, to disappearing without notice. When she did want to be with him, it was more of her treating him as a prop to show how great of a mother she was than actually wanting to be with him. Still, Loveless has memories of her that seem like there were times that she genuinely cared about him. Holding, reading, and singing for him. Teaching how to pray and reassuring him when he'd get scared. It all feels so cutting to him as she would then go and throw all his things away, berate every little mistake he'd make when trying to learn how to sing, dance, and act. That she would actively make sure to let him know how wretchedly imperfect he is as a person, and that as a bastard heir to the Lovelorn family that people only want to be near him in order to use him. People who are not obligated to love him will never love him.

His last interaction with her makes him fear that he may not be salvageable as a person.

(They both hate each other, they both love each other. Neither can word exactly why they do as they don't think about it. Loveless doesn't understand how he can love someone who abused him. He knows he is only feeding into things by antagonizing her, but wants a sense of retribution. Erda doesn't understand why her son seemingly only hates and antagonizes her when she thinks she did nothing wrong.)

(Jealous of her ability to think highly of her self and her seeming inability to see her own flaws. Jealous that she was able to find someone willing to marry her despite herself; granted she did ruin it in the end.)

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Bram Steel- Acquaintance - He doesn't like Bram and finds him to be an irritating individual who he thinks needs to shut up and mind his own business. Still, he thinks Bram is overall a decent person despite his flaws (this is a lot coming from Loveless). He finds Bram to be physically imposing and is nervous to be around someone who is so close to potentially dealing with witches. Still, Loveless can't help himself but to antagonize Bram whenever they wind up talking. He purposely talks in ways and uses words that make it hard for Bram to understand him. His own nerves and not wanting to upset Barnabas are the only things keeping him at the level of "annoyance" instead of "outright asshole". He does eventually show his worst self in front of Bram which, while the insult was aimed at Barnabas, Bram does hit him for doing so. Loveless stops tormenting him as much in following interactions. Loveless eventually warms up to Bram a bit after Bram pulls him out of a fight. He starts being nicer to him less out of fear and more out of "even if he hates me, I have to be a little nice to this guy who saved me ." 

(Jealous that Bram is a physical imposing man who has the willpower to hold himself back so he doesn't hurt others. Jealous that Bram has sought to be seen as a good man, worked against cultural/religious bias, and succeeded.)

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Lorrimer Kyler-Coeman - Acquaintance -

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Laplace - Customer/Acquaintance - Laplace could care less about his existence. It drives him absolutely up the wall. He knows they have repeatedly met, but Laplace acts like it's the first time every single time they talk. He knows she hasn't forgotten. A person like Laplace doesn't just forget. He is dead convinced that she's doing it on purpose to torment him and there is nothing he can do about. He's too afraid to call her out on it as she has the power to ruin him, so he has to just sit there and take it. Loveless wants to call her his enemy, but that seems entirely too risky. 
Only refers to Laplace as 'her' because his grandmother does. 

(Jealous of Laplace's inherent power. Loveless thinks that while Laplace is charismatic, she is free to do whatever she wants since people are terrified of vampires. She can go against gender norms, she can express her sexuality how she wants, and doesn't have to worry about someone hurting her for that.)

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Lewis Blainewright - Childhood Magic Tutor -  Loveless hero worships him even now as an adult. Understandably so as Lewis was the only real lasting male role model Loveless had as a kid (even if it was only for a little under 2 years). Lewis' presence in his life lead him to becoming a cobbler and an enchanter. He also gave him the attention and validation he craved. Loveless believes that Lewis did love him and that is why he was so kind to him. Loveless knows that Lewis would be proud of his skill in magic, but disappointed that he grew up to be a cowardly asshole. He also struggles with knowing that Lewis would be vehemently against his relationship with Barnabas. He doesn't like thinking about how violently homophobic his hero was and Loveless has not fully accepted this fact about the man. Loveless likes to lie to himself that Lewis would have made an exception for him. Doesn't want to admit it, but is kind of glad that the man died when he did; it means that he will never have to deal with the kind of person his childhood hero actually was.

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Torin Vave - Father - An Oskelish elf. He has never met the man and has no want to do so. Almost everything he has heard about him has been negative. However, Loveless knows that his mother and grandmother did try to ruin his reputation so he doubts that most of it is true. Dislikes that his father's reputation does impact his own to an extent.

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Corrin Ready - Ex - Loveless would point to his relationship with Corrin as probably one of the worst things he's done. He willingly seduced a married man and the fallout of their relationship ruined Corrin's life, and all of it stemmed from the stupid fucking impulse to upset his mom. While Loveless wasn't directly responsible for any of the things that happened after they stopped seeing each other, Loveless feels that if he hadn't messed around with the man things would not have turned out so badly.

Loveless describes Corrin as 'the type of man I could have fallen in love with.' In truth, Loveless did fall hard for him, but saying that he loved the man makes the whole situation that much worse.

Early Life - As a child, Loveless was described as a sweet, quiet, and obedient child. Loveless didn't have any long lasting friends or adult figures that were constantly there for him. His mother cycled from coddling him to outright ignoring him and demanding others to do the same. Other kids bullied him as he was an easy target and they were also acting out how their parents spoke about him (he's a half-elf bastard of a terrible woman). He rarely saw extended family and was very much excluded when he did. Loveless develops the habit of hiding himself and his things largely due to his mother's behaviour towards him. His favourite stuff he rarely plays with as that means other people can easily take it from him. 

* 6. Every birthday party for him has been an event that devolves into his mother yelling at him. On his 6th birthday, Loveless decides that he much rather spend the day hiding. He wedges himself behind a cabinet and winds up falling asleep. Understandably, people freak out when no one can find him. The party turns into a search for him, and he's only found because one of his relatives happens to be on the floor after a button on their jacket breaks. Loveless gets yelled at, but still decides to make hiding a bigger go to thing to do. Loveless carries this habit for the rest of his life.

F* 10. Loveless has a role in a play and gets directly mentioned in a review as having a lot of potential and another refers to him as a potential comeback for the Lovelorn name. Erda gets extremely jealous and, while it was normal for her to harshly criticize him, absolutely berates him for his performance. During it she tells him "No one will love you if you aren't perfect," which sticks with Loveless for the rest of his life. Following that, Loveless adamantly refuses to have any more acting lessons or perform again stating that he doesn't want to be an actor. He largely stops singing for others, but will still practice since he likes singing in church.

* 10-11. Erda begins seriously courting a man and abandons Loveless at his grandmother's under the guise that she wants Loveless to spend time with Minerva, then refuses to come and get him stating that he'll only get in the way of her relationship. Loveless was unaware of the nature of the situation (and isn't clued into it until he's an adult) due to him preferring living with his grandmother. He had active daydreams of living with Minerva so it was like a dream come true, but he does miss his mother terribly. During this year and a half Loveless decides to he would like to be a costume designer based on a book he reads (and that Minerva let him keep). It also comes to Minerva's attention that Loveless has a knack for sensing magic so she ensures (despite Erda later arguing) that he will keep having one to help hone his talent. The relationship Erda had falls through and she comes and collects Loveless. She was so sweet to him (read as manipulative) upon returning (plus he's a child that missed his mom) that Loveless insists that he'll go back home with her. Minerva reluctantly agreed.

*12. Loveless nearly drowns. Some people show up unannounced to visit his mother while he's playing outside. Not aware of the visitors, Loveless gets absorbed in one of his favourite childhood activities of watching the fish in the garden. One of the visitors children sneaks up behind him and pushes him in. Loveless does not know how to swim, and the bottom is too slick for him to stand up. One of the kids, not understanding the situation, pushes Loveless back in when he finally manages to start pulling himself out. A gardener notices and saves him. The man is fired as he shoved one of the other children.

*12. People come over to visit Erda and bring their children. Loveless gets caught by Erda before he can slink off and hide and is told she's going to play the harpsichord and he's going to sing. Loveless has a meltdown in front of the guests, she eventually relents and tells him to go play with their children. He refuses saying that last time they tried to drown him, he insults them so Erda slaps him. Erda has him sit on the floor the entirety of the visit stating if he's going to act like an infant he's going to be treated as one. The guests leave and Erda tears into him for misbehaving like that and goes to his room and has whatever nonessential thing he owns thrown away including the book that Minerva gave him (he would have normally hid it, but forgot this once). 

Young Adult - As a teenager, Loveless was described as weak-willed, cowardly, and generally unfit to be a man. What was considered charming about him as a child is now heavily criticized. As he ages, Loveless becomes a better liar and manipulator, taking on some of the worst traits from his mother. He's still bullied and rather run than fight, but he is mean with his words. Loveless begins to act up against his mother's wishes and purposefully start arguments or ruin things for her via subtle gestures. Lewis Blainewright becomes a lifelong influence on him, for better or worse.

F* 13??. A man courting his mother takes him hunting. Loveless does pull the trigger and hit the deer. It's a poor shot and he has to shoot it again at a closer distance. The bloody, messy agony of the animal leads to Loveless developing a near phobia of blood. A bit is fine, but when it starts pouring down someone's face or is all over their clothes he can't handle it. At best it makes him nauseous. At worst he panics or faints.

F* 14-16. Lewis Blainewright was hired to be his magic tutor a few weeks after his 14th birthday  Loveless absolutely adore the man. Lewis is stern, but he pays attention to him and answers almost any question Loveless asked. The man didn't have to, but willing picked up being a tutor for whatever other subject was needed. Lewis often took him into town and tried to teach Loveless basic life skills in case he found himself in a position of having to be totally on his own.

Lewis tried to impress upon Loveless the importance of being a man in a country that is constantly in one war or another, but recognized that Loveless didn't have the temperament for battle, so he focused on stressing to Loveless that if he couldn't fight he had to be useful in other ways. Lewis focused on teaching Loveless enchanting as the half-elf already had some ability to read magic. Loveless struggled to understand it at first, but soon found himself making headway due to stubbornly practicing in order to impress Lewis. Advancing his skill in magic was the easiest way to get Lewis to praise him and Loveless craved the validation.

As much as Lewis helped give Loveless the attention he needed and was a fantastic teacher, the man was incredibly homophobic. Things that Lewis would ambiently say and admit to doing (coupled with Isadorian culture and religious views) left Loveless with deep-seated internalized homophobia. Even as an adult in a same-sex relationship, Loveless still struggles with the fact that the man he considered a hero would think he was absolutely vile.

F* 15. Loveless sees one of the last death sentences carried out for homosexuality. During a trip into town, Lewis insists they stop and watch a public execution. Northeast Isador is (and continues to be) one of the most conservative areas, Wolden not being an exception. The two watch the man be hung. The rope length to height/weight was poorly calculated, and the man is nearly decapitated. Loveless feints which leads to the only real time Lewis has yelled at him. Loveless recovers and then carry on with their day, Loveless desperately tries to win back Lewis's approval by playing down his feelings about the event. The event lingers as something that still scares Loveless as a very real possibility that something similar could happen to him. As an adult Loveless has a suspicion that Lewis was so insistent that he witness it so it could serve as a warning for him to man up.

*16. Loveless confesses to Lewis that he would like to be an enchanter, preferably one that enchants clothing as he still enjoys costume design even if he wants nothing to do with the theater.

*16. Lewis gives Loveless a book on enchanting clothing. In it, Lewis had written, "Good luck with your endeavors!" in ink that could only be read if you were used to reading enchantments. It's an early birthday gift since Lewis knows Loveless will spend his actual birthday hiding, and Lewis avoids being anywhere near Erda. 

Lewis's luck runs out a few days later. While he and Loveless are playing cards as a break from studying, Erda catches them. She fires Lewis on the grounds that she didn't hire him to play cards, she hired him to...to do whatever she hired him for. Erda can't remember, but Lewis needs to leave. Loveless begs her not to, and insists that Lewis has been teaching him. Erda ignores Loveless, and Lewis packs his things and leaves.

*16. Loveless spends the rest of the week crying over the fact Lewis was fired. He opts to run away and hide in a nearby field. Early March in north Isador is cold and wet, but Loveless doesn't care. He doesn't want to be at home. He gives up after a few days as he really didn't have a plan or money to go elsewhere.

When he arrived back home, Erda was beside herself with worry. With the amount of time he had been gone, she had become convinced that he had died. She says that she contacted Lewis and asked him to come back, but he firmly refused. Loveless is convinced she is lying. Erda has never gone back on firing someone before. In Loveless'mind, he's also convinced that Lewis would have come back if she had asked. He and Lewis were very close, Lewis wouldn't just abandon him.

*17. Loveless turns 17 and doesn't bother to hide during his party. He spends the entire time trying to make it a miserable event for his mother by constantly undermining things she says. Eventually she brags about what a fine actor and singer Loveless will be. Loveless interrupts saying that he is going to be a cobbler. His mother took it as a joke, but Loveless adamantly insisted he wasn't joking. He is going to be a cobbler. The two get into a huge fight and Loveless is ultimately kicked from his own party. 

Later that night Erda lashes out at Loveless' current singing tutor, Aelli Miro. She degrades him loudly in front of others, tossing out serious accusations against him, before telling him that he's fired. Miro says if she wants to end his contract she can. Erda does.

* 17. Loveless runs away for real this time. He packs his things during the party, waits a few weeks, then leaves. He said he was going to be a cobbler as a snap decision, but decided to stick to it. Loveless left home with the intent of finding a cobbler who specialized in enchanting to take him on as an apprentice. To make it harder for his family to find him, he went by the name Hollis Carlyle and claimed to be a full elf who was only 15.

He gets rejected repeatedly. Loveless was used to lying and could sell his fake identity well enough, and had basic enchanting skills already, but without anyone to vouch for him, no one wanted to chance working with him. Besides, a young elf out all on their own seemed a bit suspicious.

In Southwest Isador, Loveless luck changed when he asked a man named Selby Driscoll. Selby didn't ask many questions outside of if Loveless could enchant and if he was going to behave himself. Selby wouldn't pay him to start out, but would cover room and board. Figuring it was the best he could get, and almost out of money, Loveless accepted. Loveless quickly learned that Selby had fired his last apprentice that morning and immediately regretted it.

*17-23. Loveless works under Selby. As much as Loveless appreciates Selby taking him on as an apprentice, he does think the man is kind of a tool. A good enchanter though. Loveless prefers learning how to be a cobbler (and how to be an independent adult) from Selby's wife Peony as she is much nicer to him and an overall better teacher. 

As Loveless ages he gets better at tempering himself to be 'quietly mean' so he can stay out of trouble. He tries to behave, but hints of him being a manipulative bastard still show through. Loveless struggles with connecting to others around him due to class differences, his lack of social experience, and his own weird issues with trust. In the end, the social faux pas he makes almost cost him his ability to become a master enchanter without the aid of his family name.

'Hollis' is known for being a hard worker who is dependable when it comes to his job. He shows real promise especially when it comes to enchanting. Hollis is smart and easily solves logic problems. Outside of that, he's a bit strange and awkward. He's quiet, and tends to miss social ques when he does speak, but gets better once he becomes an adult. He'll argue back and can be extremely mean, but has 0 ability in a physical fight.

* 19. Rumors of him having a fling with a girl spread. He didn't. It was her sister. He catches a lot of flak from Selby about this due to the girl's father not just being a notable enchanter himself, but a head of the enchanter's guild. Loveless and both sisters fervently deny that there was any sort of romance or relationship. The rumors mostly fade out with time.

Adulthood - Loveless consistently seeks out physically affection through short-lived relationships. 

* 21. Late into the year, Loveless is accepted into the cobbler's guild as a master cobbler. His bid into the enchanter's guild is rejected. He understands this as that was far more of a longshot.

*22. Rejected again to be a master enchanter. He and Selby talk it over. Selby tells Loveless that he's about on par with how good he was at the same age. It's only after talking about it for a bit that Loveless remembers the old rumor that spread. Selby agrees that there's a chance that might be playing a part in it. Loveless doubles down in try to advance his enchanting skills figuring he might as well try next year then go from there.

*23. Rejected again. Loveless fears there is a very real chance he's being barred from being a master enchanter because of the stupid rumor. Decides that he might as well spend one more year studying before trying again. If they aren't going to let him in this year, he might as well really show off next year. If they don't let him in then the suspicious are confirmed in his mind. 

Loveless happens to read in passing about a technique of preplanning enchantments where you test interactions on a small object before applying them to something larger. Boosts his ability to make complex enchantments, and a technique he hones for the rest of his life.

F* 23. Loveless realizes that he is also into men. At a large holiday celebration a man about his age approaches him and subtly hits on him. Loveless makes a spur of the moment decision to flirt back (as much as he hates to admit it, even if he had a very closeted interest in men beforehand, he largely did it as something that would make his mother furious if she ever found out). The two spend the night together. Loveless realizes how much he enjoyed the experience, but firmly keeps the revelation to himself due to a mix of his childhood experiences, internalized homophobia, and that he could face prison time for the act.

Loveless reflects on his past and does note that he had some definite moments of fintd other men handsome, but they are far less than him falling for women. 

*24. Yet again, he is rejected. Loveless is convinced that he is being barred from getting the master title due to politics. He meets with another head of the enchanter's guild about it. After discussing it at length, Loveless turns out to be right. The head of the guild doesn't outright say it, but does tell him that other members feel like he doesn't have the right character.

Loveless pleas with him to allow him in and he, aware of rumors around the other man, mentions he'll be willing to do anything to prove himself worthy. The head of the guild accepts and the two meet later in private to discuss the matter.

* 24 Loveless becomes a master enchanter. The joy of finally achieving his goal is damped by disgust with himself due to the lengths he was willing to go in order to achieve the title. 

Loveless admits to Selby and Peony that he lied about who he was, to which both reply they figured that he was being dishonest to some extent. Pegged him to be a rich boy, weren't expecting him to be half-elf. 

Loveless writes to his grandmother about where he's been and what he has been up to. In return, Minerva sends back a thick stack of writing that both admonishes and praises him in equal measure. She demands that he comes and see her to prove that he actually is still alive. Loveless says his goodbyes to Selby and Peony and goes to see Minerva.

* 24.  Loveless sees his grandmother for the first time in years. It's tense at first, but that soon fades as Minerva can't help but expressing how happy she is that not only is he's still alive, but he decided to come back. Loveless stays with her for a while as he decides what to do next. Even though he is heir to the Lovelorn fortune, he still asks his grandmother if he can use some of it to start up a store. She says that he can as long as he includes 'Lovelorn' in the store name, and suggests for him to move to Alpin.

While waiting to get everything sorted, there is a family gathering that goes as well as to expected. 

Loveless manages to get a hold of Lewis's address and writes to him. He gets a letter back from Lewis's daughter saying that he died 2 years prior.

*24. Loveless moves to Alpin and opens his store.

*25-26. Courts a woman, but the relationship falls through. Panics after having the thought of being willing to marry her. Loveless falls into a paranoid spiral that results in him believing that there is no way that she actually cares about him. He breaks up with her, but firmly regrets it a few weeks later.

*27. Loveless starts seeing another woman. He falls hard and fast. They have a lot of the same interests and ideals and he thinks he could be in love. Her older sister suddenly died. Her sister was set to wed a man in order to keep their family in the upper class. While her relationship with Loveless could potentially do the same, he comes with the baggage of Erda's actions and his own reputation. She breaks up with him. Loveless is heartbroken but understands.

*27-41. Loveless has had a few quick flings in the past, but starts falling into a destructive cycle of using them as a means for physical attention and to cause problems. He hates himself for doing it and thinks himself as disgusting. Still does it anyway. He has cheated on partners this way. The habit slowly peters out after meeting Barnabas until he stops completely after realizing how much he actually cares about him.

*30-33. War breaks out. During the Three Seas War Loveless acts as an enchanter for the state. Outside of a few boots and uniforms, he mostly enchanted various piece parts. Though not totally certain he thinks he helped make magic mines or something similar based on the various enchantments they had him do.

With the end of the war, the church reaches out to him and asks if he would like to still enchant things on occasion. Loveless gladly accepts.

*33. Homosexuality is legalized in the entirety of Isador. Loveless starts being slightly open about his sexuality following this. He chooses to describe himself as "preferring the company of women, but not against the occasional homosexual act." While bisexual isn't yet coined, there are terms that are used similarly. However, Loveless dislikes being called by any of them as they all have effeminate connotations or vulgar popular media associated with them.

F* 33-35. While at a social gathering, Erda points out a man by the name of Corrin Ready as he's looking at his pocket watch. She tells Loveless how Corrin's grandfather won it in a bet from his grandfather, Linton. Loveless had already met Corrin and had been paid to enchant a few things for him. Loveless gets it in his mind that a thing he could do to make his mother furious with him is by get the pocket watch from Corrin by seducing him; there are rumors that Corrin had interests in men, but had married a woman for the sake of his family. Corrin takes the bait and what starts as just a way for Loveless to cause problems grows into a real relationship. Even if Loveless says that Corrin was a man that he could have come to love, Loveless genuinely fell in love during their affair. But once he received the pocket watch (Corrin gave it to him as a token of affection) Loveless breaks up with him via letter writing it as if he was terminating a business deal. Corrin is heartbroken and tries to get in contact, but Loveless refuses to see him. Corrin ultimately divorces his wife and takes a job overseas in United Solvaria. 

* 34. takes on his only apprentice. Peony contacts him about Selby's death.

*34. Loveless buys his house.

F* 36. Loveless meets Barnabas. Loveless decides to hit on a white haired elf he sees while attending a fair. The man introduces himself as Barnabas Zedok and says that he works as an apothecary a couple blocks over. The two spend the day together, Loveless suggests that this is a date, and then spend the night at Loveless'. Loveless finds it a bit odd that Barnabas is still there in the morning, but decides it's fine that he stayed as they have a pleasant but a bit awkward breakfast together. They run into each other a couple times that month and Loveless winds up opening up a bit about himself, offhandedly mentioning the book that Minerva gave him as a child that was then 'lost'. He says that he always wanted to replace it, but can't remember the title or author, just some of the art inside. Loveless breaks up with Barnabas though after realizing he's getting a little too vested in something that was supposed to be a fling.

Several months later Barnabas shows up at Loveless' shop with a copy of the book that Loveless described to him saying that he saw it and it seemed to match, Barnabas says Loveless can have it as a gift as he seemed genuinely upset that he lost it. Loveless is too surprised at the act to hide how much he adores the gift. The two wind up dating for a bit after until Loveless break up with him again. Barnabas is very nice to him, but it still is a homosexual relationship and Barnabas is an undead. However Loveless figures there isn't anything wrong with a bit of niceness in his life and decides to date Barnabas on occasion as means to get some genuine affection. So he keeps going back to him.

*36-Current. Barnabas and Loveless date each other. (Key events broken up further below). It's a weird tumultuous relationship that evens out with time as they grow as people. They go from dating a few weeks every couple of months to dating consistently with their breakups being only a few hours. I can't emphasize enough that it's a weird relationship.

*41. Barnabas brings up he can hear him singing. Love cite 

*41. He hard catching feelings. Barnabas meets Minerva.

*43. Barnabas steals Lewis's book from him. Gives it back and apologizes.

*43. Barnabas drops a door on him. Sites as a point of might love.

*44. Let's Barnabas watch him work.

Midlife - It's a semi-open secret that he is dating Barnabas. Greater lengths to fix self.

* 54. Current age.

F* 55. The last time he sees Erda.

*55. He really fucks it this time with Barnabas. Bram hits him.

*55. Sick, nearly dying.

Loveless begs for forgiveness. Later admits that Erda is gone and asks Barnabas if he's a bad person. Set up for them getting close again 

*55. Bram saves his stupid ass.

*55. They say I love you.

Loveless proposes that they marry if they are ever able to. 

1.) Barnabas dies before him. A broad sort of AU, but after they fall in love with each other and post Erda's and Minerva death, Barnabas dies (honestly, probably pretty brutally murder with how hard it is for him to die). Doesn't really matter exact years, but Loveless is in his mid 50s. Loveless has a major breakdown  which results in a huge backslide on his development as a person, basically resulting in him behaving similarly to how he did before he met Barnabas. He's alone, mean, and bitter. Loveless invested himself a lot into the concept of having someone who would love him for the rest of his life as Barnabas was supposed to be guaranteed to outlive him. Now he has no one. He becomes both more and less religious, he prays more, but is less sure in the teachings of his religion. The whole process of Barnabas' funeral is a mess, and Loveless winds up keeping Barnabas' ashes as he couldn't find anywhere that would agree to bury him. Loveless becomes embittered towards religion, despite him still participating in it, as he feels that it failed a truly good man. He keeps praying and acting in it as a petition to God that Barnabas should be treated well in the afterlife.

He sort of gets a grip after a decade, but never hits the same level of being a functional person as he had previously. Loveless never tries to have a romantic relationship following Barnabas' death and spends the majority of his time by himself. He and Bram weirdly wind up as better friends which sparks from them both keeping in touch due to feeling like Barnabas would want them to.

- He was made by my wife in early 2021 with the intent of having him be a Minecraft roleplay server character. She opted against actually using him and gave him instead to me. She named him and his mother + grandmother, set up the basic dynamics between the three, decided he was a half elf who was the product of an affair, gave him the personality of being a manipulative coward, and that he was good at enchanting.

- I originally had him as a background character in another story/setting (Odtrium). Switched him to Isador on a whim to have him just as someone who Barnabas knew and dated. I accidentally got super emotionally attached.

- Future thing for him that will never be acknowledged in the actual story, but Loveless does die in the 1910s. He's accidentally shot in a robbery and dies pretty much immediately. If he wasn't accidentally murder he would have lived around 130 and died in the 1950s.

-Refuses to ever use a sewing machine. States that it makes it impossible to enchant things properly (which is the truth). He's also afraid of them.