Charles F. Kurbatove

Charles Kurbatove: A Surefire Way To Get Sued By RobTop

FIRE IN THE HOLE! Buying Geometry Dash was a massive mistake.

⎣ LORE ⎤

Charles is a robot. A bizarre one. Despite being purely synthetic down to the last atom, Charles thinks, acts, and behaves like a normal human would. He has emotions, a sense of humor, and everything else a normal human could have. He probably has a soul in there.

Where did Charles come from? Legend says that it all started when a man by the name of Robert Nicholas Christian Topala started bonking out code into his computer...and the rest is history.

Charles isn't like other robots. Unlike other robots which don't have emotion, run off code, and rely on electricity to work, Charles feels human emotions, runs off a synthetic brain, and, get this - eats food! Yep, he has a gullet. Even a mouth and tongue, which can taste! So don't feed Charles some of your spicy noodles, because, turns out, he can also feel spice too...Anyway, he doesn't connect to a wall outlet or solar panel to juice up. He, instead, relies on food energy to get through the day.

Now, being made of steel and silicon, Charles unfortunately can't come in contact with water (actually; most kinds - his house is wired up to pure distilled water, which is safe for robots!) He prefers, in lieu of water, a bath in mineral oil. I heard it's cozy. It's his type of jam.

Everything below will be a bunch of hyperfixation-fuelled word salad I typed up at 1:40 in the wee hours of the morning. Ready to strap in? Okay, here we go.

okay so first of all let's get this right out of the way so basically Charles is this insane amalgamation of circuity and flesh so he's kinda like a cyborg but not really so he's like complet made out of metals and circuitry and shit BUT HE'S HUMAN okay you need to trust me on this one okay

so basically his entire human psyche, his conscience, his soul whateva ya wanna call it it's all stored in a big beefy piece of solid state storage. actually he even has a bunch of his ports on his backside like a TF card reader. when you insert a card into this slot you can quite literally save backups of his entire soul INTO AN SD CARD

and since his entire brain is basically super fast SSD storage he can quite literally record the world around him. Have you heard of photographic memory? Charles can capture anything at a moment's notice in 8K 120FPS

here's a very cool thing okay so remember when i said that Charles has ports on his back well he has a bunch of USB ports, including serial and PS/2 which means you can connect him to your mac or pc or linux (ackshully it's called gnu linu-shuddup) machine and you can interface with him, run diagnostics, etc

He even sports wireless connectivity so you can quite literally use him as a Bluetooth speaker (his mouth is basically a speaker and subwoofer so you can quite literally usenhim to host your next block party)

and what's even cooler is charles also runs on linux!!! this means he also has a computer inside of him. this allows him to search the web at the speed of light (DIMRAIN47 REFERENCE???), chat with friends, and even play games (although he gets very hot so he generally doesn't do that)

charles is also dustin's (other) best friend and they hang out a lot together. and in case of emergencies, malfunctions, breakdowns or total annihilation charles gets his mind backed up every week or so as well as his blueprints to a secure data storage server :)

most importantly, the "Fith" in Charles Fith Kurbatove stands for FIRE IN THE HOLE 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

⎣ HISTORY (AS AN OC) ⎤

So this January of 2024 I decided to buy hit rhythm platformer game Geometry Dash to see what all the fuss was about. A few months ago, you see, on Twitter I follow a guy by the name of Simon (who I'm pretty sure I met due to both of us being Daft Punk fans) and turns out, by extension, he was also an active and prolific-isn player of Geometry Dash. So, naturally, as we were mutuals, my feed began to feature posts from Geometry Dash players.

So, naturally, I got curious and decided to check it out. I got the free version initially on my phone - and it sure is fun and frustrating, I'll tell you that. Eventually, the game's developer, RobTop, released the long-awaited update "2.2" out on all platforms, and that's when it really picked up. It trended on Twitter (because it has been 7 years since the last major update, it seemed), and since I was curious (and I knew there was stuff beyond the free version!), I decided "you know what? Fuck it, I'm buying it."

So I bought Geometry Dash. And great timing too, it was the Steam Winter Sale at the time I bought it, which meant that I got Geometry Dash for an absurdly cheap price. Seriously - 65 pesos (barely over a US dollar) for one of the most well-known rhythm games the world over? WHAT!? The fact that the game was cheaper than a Whopper burger is mind-bogglingly insane to me, when you consider that other games go for multiple times that.

And so I began playing Geometry Dash. Playing the levels. Trying out the new Platformer levels. Grinding away at user-created levels. And, most importantly, exploring the depths of the place.

Now, you see, one of the awesome things about Geometry Dash is its surprising amount of depth. There's a crap ton of ways you can customize your character (or icon) in this game. Like, I'm pretty sure there's a gazillion combinations in there! And, the great thing is, you can buy some of them, too. Geometry Dash features several shops where you can buy stuff. There are 5, and one of them is the basic Shop, ran by a basic Shopkeeper. The basic Shop just sells that - basic things like icons, colors, and mounts (and a whole lot of other things as well.) The Shop is attended to by the Shopkeeper.

Clicking on (of rather, pestering) the Shopkeeper will cause it to eventually turn demonic (and give you a free "demonic Shopkeeper" icon in the process) and begin speaking in a threating "i'm a god" tone. That was when it clicked. I love it when there's stupid crap in a game like this. RobTop didn't need to put this in the game. But he did. And that's admirable. So, naturally, and rather bizarrely, the Shopkeeper became my hyperfixation. Heck yeah.

Eventually, I got so obsessed with the Shopkeeper that, one day, I decided "You know what? Fuck it, we ball." So I took RobTop's homework, and spun it off into my own twisted creation. The result? Charles Kurbatove.

⎣ CHARACTER DESIGN ⎤

Charles has a number of differences from the regular Geometry Dash shopkeeper. While both share the same skin tone of pinkish-red, Charles wears more than just a red tank top. For starters, Charles has hair—human hair—and not a wig. His hair is brown, with some extra lighter tan highlights. He also wears a brown bandana, and even has earrings on his robotic ears. In lieu of a tank top, he instead wears a pale green hoodie with a colorful design, and big 'ol orange sweatpants, along with black Chuck Taylors to complete the look. He's probably my most ornate OC I've ever designed. Time flies.

Couple of notices & other stuff:

- The images and the OCs are distributed under the Creative Commons license (CC-BY-4.0). This means you can:
  - Share the work
  - Adapt the work (like fan art, VOs, etc), even commercially, without needing to also use a CC license. Just credit me!

- NO NSFW. Please. Even if I turn of age. I know rule 34 is unavoidable, but I do not consent to or endorse such works.
- Please avoid trading or adopting my OCs - if you want to create media, just make fan art :)
- No proshipping/problematic content with my OCs, please :) It's awkward

This work is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/