Gabriel (EN)
Puka_Muriska
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- 3 months, 16 days ago
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- Puka_Muriska
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Gabriel
Gabriel was born sometime between 2008 and 2010, when I was between 13 and 15 years old. For a good part of that time he didn't have a name yet, and he was a girl (more specifically, a princess, HAHA♥). Over the years I started drawing him more as a boy, but the change wasn't sudden, for a while (and still today, sometimes) I drew him with binder (or bandages, before I knew they were unhealthy). So technically he's a trans man, although he really does well with both neutral and masculine pronouns nowadays, I'd say he's non-binary.
The amount of "origins" he has is something I'm starting to organize just now, dividing his various tragic pasts among the three Sides of this same universe.
Sometimes he's a giant wolf (slightly smaller than a bus) completely black. I think he likes to take that form when he doesn't feel like verbally communicating anything. Which is quite often. A few years ago, I started to realize that he has a bit of an Underworld vibes... Overall he's weird, quiet and friendly.
Moodboard
Appearance
🖤 For some reason he usually goes around with a chain.
🖤 He has a tattoo in the shape of an eight-pointed star on his right eye.
🖤 He usually has super cold skin to the touch and smells nice, a bit like iris blossoms.
🖤 He sees in grayscale mainly, or colors with very low saturation.
🖤 It's not dark bags under his eyes, it's not makeup either, it's the ~darkness~.
He usually prefers to wear workout clothes or pajamas, it doesn't really matter to him if they are in good condition or not. The other alternative is a messy tangle of shadows (fast, nice and cheap). The only reason why you might find him wearing nicer clothes in some drawings is because it's super easy to draw him as I feel like at the moment, he doesn't give a shit about the clothes I put him in. Something that curiously doesn't happen with other characters of mine, for some reason (on the opposite end of the spectrum is Nethamet...)
When he feels like it, he wraps himself in a turquoise fire. Fire that I use too, magically, and it is the same fire that is kept burning in the Tree of Fire. At the same time, I would say that Gabriel lives "in a liquid state" (not in the cat sense, no, although if he were a human he would have pet cats, they are animals he likes very much). Sometimes it's like he melts into puddles that are both shadows and holes. In fact I used to draw him as a heart of turquoise fire that beats under frozen water.
Speaking of cold, it is not uncommon to encounter him in dreams in extraordinarily icy places, such as Antarctica, or very very frozen fantasy places. I've never stepped on snow in my life, nor seen it in real life that I can remember, so I'm always struck by the detail of the tactile sensation or my footsteps in the snow in my dreams, how do I know how it feels like? Is it a realistic sensation? No idea :D It's also common to find him in cemeteries, abandoned cemeteries, or frozen cemeteries.
About his House
Since I'm adding a little summary about the houses on the new pages I'm creating for my other characters, I thought I'd update this one. As I say below, I don't know much about Gabriel's house yet, but I can describe a little of what I know about his room. Without "filters," his space looks like a dark, icy, somewhat wet undifferentiated mess.
If I "turn on the light", I can give it the appearance of a room, but I decorated it, and Gabriel keeps it, which means it's usually messy, and full of clothes and stuff scattered on the floor (it's a rough interpretation of that "shadow mess" he uses as a nest hahaha). Gabriel likes the way I decorate, so he lets me do whatever I want. Clearly I decided to give it a gothic vibe, with checkered floor, coffin-shaped furniture, scented plants on a dramatic balcony, lots of old computers with green screens making different tones of "beep", skulls-candelabra, empty water bottles, piles of papers, folders, notebooks and books scattered and stacked around, cups with strange fungi feeding on what was once coffee, puddles created by stalactites dripping from the ceiling, spider webs and enough dust to germinate a sapling, that sort of thing.
Sometimes I like to imagine the windows of his piece as 4k screens to our imaginary world, it has a remote control in the shape of a little silver thing, round, kind of like one of those puzzles or brain teasers with little pieces that move. I have no idea how it works, but like other random things I decided on a whim that he had, it will surely have meaning at some point in my life.
About his Tattoos
Another section I thought of adding now. As far as I know he has three tattoos at the moment: the eight-pointed star on his right eye, the ring on his right hand, and the Cloud Dragon on his left arm.
The Star
He always had a "something" tattooed on his eye, from the first time I saw him. Over time it ended up taking that shape. I don't feel like going into detail because it has a lot of history and meaning for me. Just to say that, in the A-Side of this Universe, tattoos with astronomical motifs are customary in the Mithraian moons, which is where Gabriel was born. As the adult aoghymara have an exoskeleton that is almost like glass (which molts when it is badly damaged), the tattoos are usually made when they are still larvae-children living in the water, it is a kind of ritual of passage to adulthood of the Mithraian people.
The Cloud Dragon
A couple of years ago he appeared to me like that in a dream, with a super cool tattoo of the Cloud Dragon. I find it super curious that Gabriel, with all these associations he has for me with death and the underworld, has tattooed himself a creature that for us means "hope". Of course it is not the only thing that symbolizes the Cloud Dragon, there is also the factor that he is a storyteller, that he is free and does what he wants when he wants, that he travels everywhere and constantly changes and attracts change in turn, that he is a lightning bolt that announces important things, that he is the voice of the clouds that I listened to as a child (the clouds used to tell me stories)....
The Ring
Literally that's what it is, a wedding ring, I have the same tattoo on my left hand, I got it in 2017 or 2018.
Personality
Once, in a dream, he took the form of Killua (for some reason he became attached to that character) and told me that I had a vitamin B deficiency. I took it to mean that I had to keep delving into this B-Side of my universe. But no, it turned out that I was literally vitamin B deficient. Maybe he got the little warning light on some vitamin-measuring device he installed in my brain at some point. Or maybe he meant both things? After all, it seems that his homemade vitamin device doesn't detect vitamin D deficiency, only vitamin B deficiency. Or, maybe, being kind of a goth, he didn't care enough about my lack of sunshine to give me that diagnosis as well. Haha. I'm inclined to believe that his inconsistency was out of laziness.
I don't know what he does most of the time. He comes and goes with his phantasmagorical business, and he stares at the realities with wide eyes, poking around in forgotten corners out there. No need to call for him to come, he just shows up when I need him. Or I show up where he is. His company is always super reassuring to me, despite how... quietly eccentric he can be (or serenely lunatic), and the secrets he goes about shaping in the dark (maybe he's just going for a nap?).
About his Plushie
Where the fuck did this monkey come from? I mean, I have my suspicions. It has existed in my imaginary world for years now, not many, I would say about 4 or 5? It seems that lately, in my dream universe, it came to symbolize my physical body. It seems that sometimes it hybridizes with Mr. M.: my Minotauro Miedo (Fear Minotaur). And it seems that he is also... a stuffed animal. Gabriel's stuffed animal... (that was decided before symbolizing my physical body, is that weird?). He was always a stuffed animal. A stuffed animal with vitamin D deficiency, because clearly Gabriel has it in his cave. Although probably its origin in my subconscious is in that one time when I was about 12 years old, that I took that thing they call the "Mayan horoscope" from a book that mom had from her hippie phase, and I got the "Blue Solar Monkey", the little poem it came with was very cute, something with the inner child and art and play, but I can't find it...
Before the monkey gained any spiritual relevance, when it was just a random imaginary whim, I remember making a joke somewhere that I no longer remember that only Nethamet knew the secret of the monkey's origin, and the others had made bets to see who would discover it first. In other words, only the sun of my imaginary world knew that this blue solar monkey was a Something. It's related to things I'm working with right now.... These kinds of weird coincidences are common when I do introspection with my imaginary world, it's as if someone with a sense of humor, artistic sensibility and a taste for games is constantly weaving an interesting plot in my subconscious, and I'm reading it bit by bit, stumbling around. Now... Which of all my characters won the bet then?
...It's fucked up, that's what I could glean for now, this damn monstrous stuffed monkey is an important part of my endless work here in the Labyrinth N°26 that I'm trying to get out of right now (maybe I'll go into a bit more detail about this in the Cozy Corner, more later).
Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Story
It's not at all easy for me to decide what to tell about Gabriel from the B-Side. To begin with, he has about four thick folders in the archive of drawings and notes of my imaginary world (it took me about 25 years to realize that the diary format is probably less chaotic than having 10,000 loose papers lying around, by which time I had to resort to an office archive to organize everything in a way that allows me to find things). Let's see...
The folder with older stuff is full of pages with school notes, chemistry formulas and math homework of those X-clearing things (mmmmmmm.... now that I think about it, I don't have drawings done on notes from literature, philosophy or psychology classes, just math, physics and chemistry xD), all tangled up with doodles of this character who still has a demon tail, emo clothes (in one he has a majestic but sexy little dress in "alien nobility" style with pointy shoulder pads hahaha), chokers and, quite often, a keyhole in his chest. Most things are pretty cringe-worthy (I think the most cringe-worthy stuff is from a few years ago anyway). If Nethamet was born as my Mary Sue, Gabriel was born as my imaginary crush, definitely ( what does that make Zandi, who is even older than Nethamet and Gabriel? .... I think Zandi was born as my hero). Maybe he's a personification of my imagination itself?
Imaginary Tear
If drawings of Gabriel with black "tears" appear around, it is because, at some point, I began to associate Gabriel with the imaginary friend I had as a child, who was a raindrop, and had a square TV screen in the middle of his belly, exactly like the Teletubbies. The reason I associate the raindrop with Gabriel is simply because they both have the same vibes, or at least in the memory I have of that raindrop (soothing, androgynous, quirky, introverted, friendly and loyal, always showing up when I needed him... along with this "alien" weird energy that both of them have). Not to mention that both Gabriel and I find the rain very peaceful. That's why I tattooed myself a black teardrop next to the ring, on my fingers.
The Secret Garden
That was the name of the blogspot I had around the time Gabriel was being born. Because the appearance of Gabriel as a "character" was not something that happened from one day to the other (as it happened with Ciro for example, that well, Ciro did have more years of previous existence, every now and then I find her in some dream of 2007 or something like that, but she did have a day that PAM was born in my consciousness with name and favorite color, and consequently I could know her birthday if I searched a little). Gabriel was more complicated, I had to go out and look for him (I think that was already made clear in the Zine I yes yes yes).
The Secret Garden is also something that exists in Gabriel's house, that is, the Crystal Fortress. All these years have gone by, but I still don't quite understand how his house is configured (which doesn't surprise me either, Gabriel is a real mess), I just know that it's a lot bigger than what I know consciously, in fact it's probably more like a city. I do know Gabriel's room (from the Sand Castle you can access his room, by some twisted logic, his creation), the hall in which there is this magic door that leads to the Secret Garden, and the secret trapdoor in that same hall, which leads to a place I call the Graveyard. I don't feel like talking more about the Secret Garden here, but I had to mention it, I guess. The same door that leads to the Secret Garden also leads to the Sanctuary, a bit in the style of the door in Hayao Miyazaki's Moving Castle (that's why I said it's magical, it's not worthy of that title just because it's imaginary, no). So as a way of closing this presentation, I leave a video to give a super general idea of how the Sanctuary looks like, which is a place I like to go to hang out with Gabriel, out in the open (the good thing about the imaginary damp cold is that it doesn't make me catch a cold).
Last edited: 23|05|2024
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