Profile
24* - He/Him - 6'3" - White
A daydreamy poet, amateur philosopher, and dogshit musician whose life is going nowhere fast in the year of our lord 2003. Unable to hold a job, since the capitalist machine stifles his artistic soul, Sage is wholly content to carry on with his aimless spiritual musings and cringeworthy creative endeavors. My condolences to anyone who has to listen to his atrocious keyboard songs, or his long-winded rambles about cosmic destiny. Obsessed with H.P. Lovecraft, Depeche Mode, Scientology, and veganism. Drowning in credit card debt, but aha, what are financial woes to the majesty of the universe, hmm!
(Sage is, unfortunately, an AU version of Shirley.)
Created Fall 2018
BACKGROUND
Unemployed and eager to occupy his time, Sage was recently invited by his best friend to join a forum for... alien enthusiasts? Alien abductees? Aliens! Oh, how intriguing! He's been spending a lot of time online as of late, discussing his "otherworldly transcendence" and "dream encounters with extraterrestrial envoys". His so-called "experiences" are probably nothing more than self-deluded wish-fulfillment fantasies, but hey, good luck convincing him of that. This man is comprised of at least 80% bullshit, and he's not stopping anytime soon.
VOICE
I pity anyone unfortunate enough to hear Sage talk. This man keeps up the most unbearable inflection he can muster, raising his voice an octave or two and putting on the flowiest airs. In his pretentious efforts to sound "wise," he flexes his clumsy thesaurus of a vocabulary, pauses to say "ahh!" every other sentence, and forcefully pronounces the H in words like When and Where. His typing is just as laboriously long-winded, spinning whole novels into forum replies for literally no reason. Uses perfect capitalization, grammar, and punctuation, even in the most casual of AIM chats.
RELATIONSHIPS
Scorpio is his longtime internet friend, roleplay buddy, and adoptive little sister! She may insult him on a near-constant basis, but nevertheless, his overbearing praise and concern are boundless!
Ah, the Ghosts ! Beings from beyond, beacons of transcendental knowledge! Sage tries to engage these guys in "philosophical" conversations, but they don't seem very interested.
Few people online put up with Sage's nonsense, but Leo is a kind and welcome exception! May their artistic spirits resonate through song! Ahaha!!
Gemini keeps having to lock Sage's very off-topic threads about Scientology and poetry. "Ah, moderating must be such a tedious task... I am grateful for your hard work, Gemini!!"
Sage doesn't know what a Runed Scape is, but he's glad Virgo is here to share her otherworldly experiences!
Good heavens...! Some of the things that come out of Reckan's mouth are positively obscene! Alas, this poor wayward youth... Perhaps Sage can be a benevolent influence? (No.)
Oh, my. This Capricorn fellow seems quite troubled, hm? Unperturbed by his volley of inappropriate comments, Sage occasionally PMs him greetings and inquiries.
Hmm. Ttari doesn't seem to like Sage much. He can't imagine why. :(
