AJ

AJ is just going through the notions, driving to work early, getting started on the piles, wishing for a day when things will be...different from now. That's when they meet the new girl, Carol, who is the newest addition to the team, and AJ can already tell she will fit in great. Not only is she gorgeous and friendly, she also seems rather smart and quick on the uptake, something that's important when working with a lot of deadlines and only having little time to train her.
Still, it's her first day, and AJ knows how that feels, and even if they can't do much because they're neither responsible for her training, nor very good at social interactions of any kind, they try to be as supportive as possible. During lunch, Carol clearly is trying to bond with them, and they try hard to keep the conversation aloft, but it's hard. It's even harder when Carol brings them a coffee, undoubtedly meaning well. Oh, how AJ loathes coffee. However, there's no way they're going to tell her that and let her down, so....they drink it. 

This quickly becomes a routine, just as quickly as they become something like friends. Carol's energetic nature and their shared interests in art make it easy for the two to get along, even though AJ leaves it to Carol to approach them, unwilling to ever force her into spending time with them. So, AJ drinks their coffees, despite hating every single one of them and praying to the heavens to make her stop, but they just can't bring themselves to tell her, especially not after she has already brought them so many. They notice fairly quickly that they're having....pretty strong feelings for Carol, and while they aren't surprised about that in the least - because, you know, Carol is simply amazing, with her long hair and wide smiles and her wit and her enthusiasm.... - but they have no intention of acting on said feelings, because no matter how much their affections might be growing, there was no way they'd have a chance, and thus no way they would jeopardize their current friendship.

At the same time, they get to know Amber, who has been following them on their social media app for a while now, always liking their art pieces and leaving such kind comments on them. She unexpectedly sends them a PM with the sweetest, kindest message possible, and after AJ's initial reply, they start writing back and forth - first through the app, then via texting. AJ isn't quick to trust, but once they do, they do so wholeheartedly until they learn to regret it. With Amber, they never had to regret it though.

Instead, the two chat and laugh together, and AJ relishes in the written exchange, since writing comes much easier to them than talking. But then, through sheer luck, the two find out that they live in the same area, and Amber's workplace, a café, is just around the corner of AJ's. While Amber is overjoyed at these news, AJ is a little more apprehensive of meeting her for real - not because of any risks of Amber not being who she claimed she was, but because they feared Amber would be endlessly disappointed by the real version of them. Short, chubby, not very impressive, and all that. Both of them know how they look thanks to the occasional pictures, but AJ is still worried. Plus, they still aren't any good at social interaction, and Amber is undoubtedly going to expect lots of conversation and fun once they meet.
AJ is still fretting over all of this when they are in front of that café, but they walk in anyways - and when they first see Amber for real, they're pretty sure they're going to have a heart attack, because, wow.
Amber is...amazing. She looks like she could crush them easily, but the hug she gives them is confusingly gentle, just like her voice and her words. AJ, at first shy and awkward as always, finds themselves quickly warming up to her and enjoying the evening together, just chatting and laughing. As it turns out, they needn't have worried about a thing, because Amber makes it obvious that this meeting is not going to be their last.

It doesn't take long for AJ to be smitten with Amber, not when she's such a gentle soul and they have so much in common. However, AJ is aware that they don't have much to offer, and they know Amber could do infinitely better than them and would undoubtedly never consider them a possible partner, so they don't give those thoughts or feelings any weight, much less act on them.

With all the texting, meetings, and Carol asking them the strangest questions about their relationship status or whether there was anybody special in their life, AJ one day decides to bring Carol along to a meeting with Amber at the gym. Mostly because Carol tried to ask them to come along to the movies but they had already made said plans with Amber, but still, they feel like those two would get along great. Which they do. Amber and Carol are naturals at social interactions, so obviously AJ isn't surprised in the slightest when the two seem to befriend each other immediately, and is a little overwhelmed (in a good way) when the three of them spend the entire rest of the evening together until deep into the night - first at the gym, then the café, then Amber's home. They aren't that great with the exercises in the gym, but nobody judges them, and Carol isn't faring too well either, so they actually, surprisingly, quite enjoy it there and are willing to go again in the future, if Amber so wants them to. (Amber does.)

Soon after, the three become an item. AJ doesn't know what triggers it, exactly, but they don't mind, enjoying the time spent with both of them, and of course pushing down their growing feelings like a pro. The other two don't make it easy, especially when they use weird words like 'dates' and the like to describe their meetings, but that's undoubtedly just meant jokingly, nothing serious, and nothing that should ever make AJ get their hopes up.

Eventually though, they do get their hopes up. Out with Carol, one fateful night, partying because Carol so desperately wanted them to go to a karaoke place with her, they are a little drunk and very straight-forward, just not very straight. They move along to the music, they dare to sing, and they even put their hands on Carol and whirl her around a little as the two laugh - and boy, oh boy, life has never been sweeter.
Just that the two later on wind up at AJ's place and Carol wants to sleep on the old, worn-out sofa, but AJ can't have that, so they're going to share a bed, and AJ is not ready to be in a bed with Carol, but then they are, and Carol is so close, and hugs them, and tells them they should take off that binder, and, also, there's that matter with the kiss she gives them before falling into drunken slumber.
It's...all a little much, and AJ isn't sure how they can turn this around to be their fault, but it surely had to be.
In their panic, they contact Amber, who had to work a late shift but just got out and is totally catching on to something being wrong.
Next thing they know, Amber is at their door and ready to soothe and comfort them to the best of her abilities, and AJ is happy to accept it.

After this fiasco, AJ has the weekend to ponder how to act towards Carol the coming Monday, and how to deal with everything, including their own emotions.
With the plan in mind to push everything down relentlessly until the feelings eventually faded away, they quickly find themselves ambushed on said Monday by Carol, and taken to the cafeteria, where things go an entirely different way than anything AJ could have possibly imagined.
Feelings are confessed, intentions clarified, and suddenly, Amber appears with coffee and a hot chocolate and a confession of her own, along with a proposal.

Dating two girls? At the same time? Not unheard of, but unusual, especially when the two girls in question were Carol and Amber, who could clearly have ANYBODY, including each other, but nope, apparently, they have terrible taste. AJ doesn't understand.
AJ also has to realize that they have never wanted anything more in their entire life than this.
AJ isn't sure whether they should agree, but somehow, they do, and suddenly, they find themselves in a very new, very confusing, but undeniably amazing relationship.

Coffee and hot chocolates are drunk and there are lots of rather awkward conversations and pauses in said conversations, first (or second) kisses are shared, and plans are made, before Amber leaves to go home for the day, and Carol and AJ have to return to work.
From that day onward, the three are rarely apart, spending lots of time together either at Amber's café while she's working, or at one of their places.

Everything is still a little new for all three of them, but they're trying.

Past

AJ comes from a fairly conservative family. Their parents were young when they married, and still so when AJ was born, but AJ believes they did the best that they could. Still, things were painful there.

AJ has never felt like their assigned gender, but any time they tried to voice this out, they were shut down or ignored. Being a disappointment became the norm, no matter whether school grades weren't good enough or their fields of interests didn't correlate with their parents' ideals. They were never beaten, or at least not more than they deserved, but there were other ways their parents let them know and feel their disapproval.

Being forced into dresses and pushed into family meetings with distant relatives fueled their growing hatred for themselves and their fear of leaving the house, of going out there, of meeting people, of being judged for who they were and being forbidden to be so. Their parents started arguing a lot with them, telling them to stop being like this, like that, be more open, be less so, do it this way, stop doing that, be more like this. Whenever AJ tried to speak up, they were shut down. Whenever they cried or begged for understanding, words were twisted and facts made up to make them the one to blame, rather than anybody or anything else.

In the end, they retreated within themselves, trying hard to be something they weren't, and live with the hatred that was burning right underneath their skin - for themselves, and everything they were. They still tried to make it right, to be the person their parents wanted them to be, but it was a losing battle.

Seeking solace, they lost themselves in books, in their own stories, in games on the internet, in forums that allowed them to read up on their gender identity and make sense of what was going on, why everything felt off.

They foolishly tried to come out to their parents, something they deeply regretted to this day.
Finally, they had found out what was wrong with them, and they had so badly wanted to share it, to share the relief, to possibly take action against their dysphoria, to be who they truly were - and instead of support, they were met with ridicule, confrontation, denial and threats.

In the end, AJ couldn't take it anymore and found themselves a tiny apartment to move into, where they got themselves a teddy hamster called Ted and tried to heal from the years of pain. Unfortunately, loneliness isn't the best way to deal with the past, only adding to the pain and guilt and useless 'What if's.

Shortly before they found their current workplace, they dated a guy who seemed nice at first and was very straight-forward in his interest in them. Not out to anybody but themselves (and their family, though that hadn't gone well), they went along with it, seeking solace and affection. Unfortunately, they quickly learned that there were people who only took from others what they wanted, but never gave anything in return. AJ tried so hard to please him and appease him, but his wants ultimately went beyond what they could give, and after making sure they knew just how much all of this was their fault, he broke things off and left them behind, even lonelier than before.

Right after starting their apprenticeship at their current workplace, they met somebody else in a shared class, a girl a little younger than them. They got along fairly well, and once more she seemed nice at first, and didn't beat around the bush when she said she'd like to be more than friends. AJ was a little warier this time, and despite not quite feeling ready for a relationship, and not quite knowing her enough to know whether they were truly attracted to her, they agreed. After all, rejecting her would just unnecessarily hurt her, right? Plus, it didn't matter. AJ didn't have anybody or anything else in life, anyways, so maybe, if they didn't love her now, they eventually would. Or so they thought.
Unfortunately, this relationship was also doomed from the start. Anything AJ said was analyzed and twisted and thrown back at them, their interests and passions ridiculed. They were told to grow up when they were excited about a new book from their favorite series coming out, and made fun of when they got scared during a horror movie they were urged to sit through, despite not being into horror, in the first place. This went on until things got physical, with their girlfriend trying to actively force herself onto them after they repeatedly mentioned not really being into sex. They were pushed around, shoved to the ground and yelled at, again, and she called them a freak, broken, and many more swearwords that AJ still tries to forget to this day. Instead of breaking the relationship off, and ignoring AJ's suggestion to do so, the girl tried to 'fix' them, which led to much more pain and sleepless nights as AJ struggled to figure out what to do and how to break free. They couldn't bear to let her down, or hurt her by breaking up, but at the same time, they couldn't make themselves go along with her. They tried to explain and make her understand how they felt, also outing themselves as agender as they went. This led to their biggest - and last - fight that ended with her breaking up with AJ and telling them that they would never find anybody who would accept them, and that they'd be miserable for the rest of their life. Ironically, the moment she was out of their place, they finally felt a little more at peace with themselves again.

After these two rather failed relationships, AJ mostly gave up on dating. It wasn't that they didn't believe in love anymore, nothing like that, but they decided maybe it simply wasn't for them. The pain ran deep, but there were other things to worry about, like passing their apprenticeship and finding a different place in case their workplace didn't take them in afterwards. Luckily, they passed just fine, and their workplace did wish to keep them, which would allow them to stay in the department they had been working in for most of their apprenticeship and was already accustomed to. They liked the work and their coworkers, even their supervisor that worked along with the rest of the team. It was this supervisor that they approached shortly before they signed the contract, wanting to come clean first and explain their gender identity. It was a terribly stressful situation for them, since they were very well aware this could backfire and they wouldn't be able to stay and be without a job - and who knew if there was any workplace out there that would take them as they were?
Luckily, their supervisor was very understanding and supportive, and the first one to tell AJ they were perfect just the way they were. She was the one to go to the higher-ups and request the necessary changes, as well as help AJ through typing up an adequate email to their coworkers to let them know. From that moment on, they changed their name to AJ, and used Mx. in emails, and suddenly, it felt like a burden had lifted off their shoulders, for the first time in forever.

It is because of this show of support and the acceptance of their workplace that AJ is happy there, despite the poor work conditions and little pay. They care deeply for their coworkers, especially their team, but due to the age gap and the varying interests, they haven't been able to really connect with them for anything outside the workplace. Though they also aren't sure they'd want that.

In their second year working there after their apprenticeship ended, their hamster Ted died of old age. They were heartbroken, though they knew it was to be expected, since the life expectancy of a hamster didn't magically become infinite just because they would like it so. AJ was certain they would never get another, feeling like nothing would ever replace Ted, but life had different plans when they per chance saw an insert online for hamsters for sale, depicting one that looked nothing like Ted yet gave them that exact feeling they had had when they had gotten Ted. They sent an email, then exchanged numbers and made an appointment, and a few days later, they were the proud owner of Ted Jr., mostly named so because the one who sold him had dubbed him Teddy. This one was much more active during the day than he should be, and much less of a digger than Ted, but he also was a lot more affectionate and came to AJ when they called, climbing out of his cage and onto their hand whenever they held it out. AJ remodeled the cage upon finding out that he preferred climbing to digging, and always makes sure there's enough treats and food puzzles in there to keep him happy. He's been with them ever since, and they can't help but hope that he, at least, will be immortal.

Present Day

art by SacredNanners

Dating Amber and Carol, AJ feels much more at peace with themselves, though life isn't any easier because of it. Dating one person is hard, dating two can be even harder in terms of time management and making nobody feel left out. Next to that, AJ is planning to begin their transition, Amber is working on becoming the manager of the café she works at, and Carol is uncertain of what she wants from life, in the first place.

They are more confident now, but also begin to realize that their workplace isn't necessarily the best, not with the crazy amount of clients and work and only so little staff, the little pay, no overtime pay even though they work crazy hours, and the lack of an actual break during work hours. Before, they wouldn't have been able to picture leaving this place. But now? Now, they might just be brave enough to look what else is out there, and maybe find something that will pay better, so that they can in return shower their girlfriends with all the things they could possibly want and spoil them just as much as those two spoil AJ.

Also, could it be Amber is looking for a place for them to move in together??