Profile
Character
Notes
- Leans direct (but not usually outright aggressive or cruel) and humorous with people he knows, but tends to take a more diplomatic tone with strangers, especially those in need.
- Is absolutely not going to decide which forms of fantasy racism are acceptable to make any of his companions feel more comfortable.
- Desperately wants the love and approval of his mother, who partly blames him for the death of his sister, Bethany, and the near-death (and ultimately, loss) of his brother, Carver.
- Ultimately, no matter what, always seems to have a plan or be prepared if his enemies find the upper hand.
- Almost seems supernaturally aware of the ~moral greyness~ and is anciently weary of it beyond his years.
PIZZICATO
About
The clever Augustine Amell - or as he's now known, "Pizzicato Hawke," has returned to Kirkwall, from which he escaped as a very young man the first time he left home at the age of... Around 17-18, and got caught up in the Circle after a thorough attempt at 'rehabilitation'... He learned how to control his powers, but he never seemed to internalize the message that he's a dangerous monster who needs to be ashamed of himself and his gifts. He did, however, learn to pretend that he did, and this helped him lay low long enough to escape the Circle - his prison that called itself a shelter.
Luckily, he's made such a unique name for himself in the here and now that the Templars haven't caught on that this magnificent man who always seems to have a plan is the same person as that quiet, scared boy. Yet. He's counting down the days until he has to fight his way out of the city, spells blazing.
A natural leader, Pizzicato finds himself comfortably in his element leading a band of rebels and outcasts in a cross-country tour of the broken world. Well. That is, when they get along and work as an actual team. Which can be a rare, but beautiful occurrence.
Always wanting to keep his gaze forward and never get caught up in unnecessary feelings or distractions, Pizzicato and his friends are the people for just about any job.
Pizzicato is able to hold his head up through just about any storm, but a list of perfect ones finally break down his strength - Anders' betrayal, the Chantry explosion, all the mages that died as a result, and a few too many glitches in the matrix dissolved the mind of the Champion of Kirkwall. He is homeridden in a dream with depression for a long time, until... The Inquisition catches his interest, and there is once again something greater than himself, to drown himself in.
Preferences
Likes
- Sweets
- Everything going smoothly
- Guitar music. Lute music??? Strings
- Tea
Dislikes
- Bickering/Poor Communication
- Being unheard
- Ignorance and corruption
- Spiders :(
Background
[TW: Incest, CSA]
Pizzicato might not remember it, because he repressed the memories as a child, but he was sexually abused as a child by his uncle, Gamlen. Alcohol, selfishness and cowardice make for an ugly combination, and to this day, Gamlen has never brought up the topic of his past indiscretions against Pizzicato's virginity. Gamlen isn't sure what he would do or say if Pizzicato ever remembered, and accused him. Probably deny it. Sure, he regrets it, looking back, but... He doesn't have the wisdom or maturity to seriously make amends towards his nephew. He will likely never apologize in any meaningful, helpful way, and sadly, Pizzicato is left to pick up the pieces of own his mind in the wake of this abuse... At least that's how he sees it. Saddling his friends with this pain is borderline unthinkable to him. Unfortunately, this mindset leads him further away from recovery than he could imagine at the time.
This is part of why he's so anxious to slow down in life and analyze his own feelings from time to time. Sure, part of it is about surviving in a cutthroat world that doesn't care about his feelings, but a wiser part of him is afraid of what he'll find and even more afraid of the possibility that it'll knock him down so hard he can't get back up again... And while his friends would, of course, support him - some, like Fenris, would probably even be able to show him he's not alone, he's not the sort of person to burden the people around him without (what he deems as) necessity.
Witnessing pain and cruelty up-close from a very young age (both within his family in the form of abuse and toxicity, as well as from the world in the form of oppression against mages), Pizzicato has grown into a cold, stern man who rarely lets others in past his defenses. Of course, he can smile, he can laugh, and he can bond with others, but there are vulnerable parts of himself he rarely lets slip. He is terrified of the world knowing he cares what happens to him, what happens to his loved ones, and what people think of him. That would dissolve much of his reputation, and he can't have that.
He has to keep surviving, and, with luck, someday thrive... And of course, with time, he becomes Champion, living in a gorgeous mansion and just about sitting atop Kirkwall itself. Seems like all that hard work paid off... But, thinking about it, for what? It's certainly no substitute for therapy.
Links
Varric Best Friends -> Partners
Simply put, Varric and Pizzicato are soulmates, even if it takes them just about the whole game and much more to see it. Varric is Pizzicato's trusted right-hand man, and the first person he talks to when there's trouble. With similar cynical senses of humor and similar ways of hiding their true selves behind a tough exterior, they seem to understand each other intimately as people far before they let down their masks in front of each other. Pizzicato harbors a bit of a crush on Varric as early as Act 1, and Varric knows it, but he's got no idea how this whole 'romance' thing works outside of the pages of fiction. Bianca was a fluke, that taught him nothing about how to love someone truly. So when Pizzicato, in the depths of his psychotic depression, approaches him, full of desperation and lust for something, anything, to hold onto, Varric is confused and terrified. But, as Pizzicato gets a handle on his trauma and becomes a more stable person, Varric comes to understand that he does care for Pizzicato deeper than he thought he did initially.
Anders Friends, Partners->Exes in a Nightmare
Anders is almost overwhelmingly tender and affectionate towards Pizzicato, which Pizzicato is completely floored by, having not received much unconditional love from others. Though his condescending attitude and his ignorance towards elves and blood mages frustrates Pizzicato quite frequently, Pizzicato is confused by how fond he is of his fellow mage friend. At first, it seemed like a natural conclusion when the pair of mages grew closer to one another at the end of Act 2, and for a few years, they were very happy together. But it was not meant to last, because as Anders lost his grip on Justice, he became so consumed with vengeance that he implicated Pizzicato in a very badly-planned direct act against the oppressive institution of the Chantry, that the Templars used as an excuse to slaughter mages with no consequences. Pizzicato understands, at the end of the day, that none of this was Anders' fault... But he spends a lot of time blaming himself, blaming Anders, when he should be blaming the Chantry and Templars in the first place. It's what prompts his major decline into depression, and he leaves Anders on an impulse, terrified that he would never be able to trust the other mage again - and a sort of glitch in the matrix, in which Anders' image haunts his mansion, only causes Pizzicato to fear Anders even more. In time, though, he works through his own problems and reaches out to Anders again.
Fenris Frienemies -> Partners
Fenris' cold, distant exterior does not clash very well with Pizzicato's, they have a way of ambiently annoying each other quite a bit - especially with how stubbornly ignorant Fenris can be about mages. However, Pizzicato understands where Fenris is coming from and doesn't judge him too harshly, and something forgotten deep inside him relates very very intimately to this man who has suffered so much trauma and abuse. Pizzicato wants to be closer to Fenris despite their differences... And it seems that Act 3 is their time to shine, it's during his falling-out with Anders, and especially after the death of Danarius, that Pizzicato really comes to understand Fenris and reach many mutual understandings with him, forming the friendship with Fenris he's always wanted. His relationship with Fenris is... Certainly not the lovey-dovey cuddlefest of constant agreements that his relationship with Anders was, because Fenris is nowhere near as dependent on Pizzicato's approval as Anders was, but they learn to handle disagreements with healthy conversation and being compassionate to each other. And, eventually, Fenris overcomes a lot of his fear of intimacy and vulnerability. Pizzicato comes to regard Fenris as someone who completes him and makes him stronger, a sort of foil to his comparatively more optimistic, forgiving nature, that cares for him first and foremost rather than just someone trying to get under his skin. And also Fenris stops being mage racist because im so tired man
Carver Brother, Rival -> Mutual Understanding
Pizzicato never asked for Carver's hatred, to be clear. And for the longest time, he didn't understand why his little brother hated him at all, leading to some nasty passive-aggressive spats between the two of them - the worst of which happened when they both lived with their mother. But in the here and now, Pizzicato more deeply understands his brother's pain and doesn't hold anything against him. He even misses Carver, now that he's gone off to join the Grey Wardens. Carver never truly comes to understand how passionately his older brother adores him, and he resents Pizzicato for years to come.
MERRILL Friends
Merrill is so sweet that the sweets-loving Pizzicato can't help but be charmed by her and trust her more than he might trust the average person, even with his vulnerable side. He feels sorry for her, being an elf and a mage - a blood mage especially - and he does his best to stand up for her when she doesn't feel that she can stand up for herself. She has a very obvious crush on him, and doesn't seem to care how obvious it is, and Pizzicato has no idea what to do about that... He ultimately lets her down gently, which she fully respects, though she is a bit disappointed at first. Nonetheless, they remain unwaveringly close friends, but Act 3 is a bit trying on them, because of Pizzicato's closeness to Anders, who has begun to show more and more toxicity to the people around him - Merrill has always felt he's a bit of an asshole, but seeing Pizzicato work so hard to let him get away with things at first just makes her feel like he doesn't care for her as a friend. However, they work through this together and end up even stronger friends for it.
AVELINEFriends in High Places
Pizzicato and Aveline met under painful circumstances, and from that, an unlikely friendship was forged. They don't tend to agree on everything, especially with Aveline joining the guard and, to a lesser degree, the way she treats Isabela, but Pizzicato is at least comforted that she is trying to fight corruption and oppression where she can. They meet for drinks and chats sometimes... But at the end of Act 2, there's a bit of a rift in their friendship. Aveline had never shown such deep corruption before, and Pizzicato temporarily loses faith in her ability as the captain of the guard - because at this point, what makes her any different from any other guard, upholding oppression more than the safety of the people? But she realizes her own wrongdoing in the case of those two elves and their poor sister, and works hard to keep fighting corruption in her ranks, and eventually their bond is restored once he's confident that she's dedicated to righting that wrong.
ISABELA Tense Friends -> Friends
Pizzicato and Isabela start out not necessarily as rivals, or even frienemies, but... Awkward but pleasant acquaintances. Pizzicato is put off by Isabela's boldness and she's put off by his stern nature. However, despite that, he notices himself accidentally spouting dirty things around her from time to time, which she loves and finds hilarious. (I didn't know that's what the diamond icon did :( ) He also absolutely does not approve of her amoral, selfish behavior, and the ending of Act 2 only causes him to trust her even less - leading to a pretty big argument at the beginning of Act 3, in which he's hesitant to reassure her that they're still friends. But it's an argument they make up from all the same, the two learn to be vulnerable around each other and their friendship reaches a point that Isabela can hardly bear to say goodbye once she's got the ship she wanted so badly.
