Cedar
CedarSquirrel
Profile
- Gaming
- Relaxing
- Crafting
- Darkness
- Tight Spaces
- Inequity
- Socializing
- Abandoment
- Cedar's favorite type of candy is anything sour.
- Cedar's favorite games to play during his spare time are Pokemon, Sly Cooper and Animal Crossing.
- Cedar is a semi-hoarder. He loves to collect Funko Pop, squishables and horror related items. He has a very difficult time letting go of things because of the fear of being alone and his collection makes him feel safe and secure .
- Cedar was abandoned when he was really young and then adopted, but was never truly understood. He has a hard time trusting others and letting people know his true self. He is consistently working on building trust and love for others with the support of his husband Kal.
Cedar is the one sona that represents me and everything about me. Cedar is a way for me to learn who I am as a person, but how to express that self to others as well. He isolates himself from the outside world due to his fears and has a hard time loving himself. He will always be there for his family and friends and if you take the time to know him, he will never leave you. If you can be patient with him then he can learn to trust you and let you into his heart.
Cedar was abandoned by his biological father at birth, and then his biological mother at the age of 4. He was later adopted, but grew up in a home where love had to be earned. If he didn’t excel at things then love was not freely given. This made him withdraw within himself, creating distrust with others, and a hatred of his own self. He locks his emotions away and hardly ever expresses them. Often when he does express them they come out in the form of rage, so he feels it is better to just lock them away. He spends most of his time trying to make others happy, because he doesn’t want others to feel the pain of having to earn love like he did.
Cedar grew up pushing himself as hard as he could. Trying to excel at everything he put his mind to, just to earn the little love that he could. He became jealous of those who grew up happy, and as a result he looked in the mirror hating everything he saw. The happiness he so prized in others he could not hold for himself. He secluded himself from his adoptive parents and learned to live alone. The disconnect created a broken bond that could never heal. His father was quiet, but always defended his mother. His mother was cold, controlling and manipulated Cedar to follow the path she wanted him to take. Once he veered off this path, she was emotionally abusive towards Cedar as a means of control. This pushed Cedar to spiral his way down into darkness, not caring if he ever found his way out. Until he was able to start to find his own path by the side of his husband Kal.
As he grew up Cedar became comfortable within the darkness, and around the spirits that dwelled there. The coldness and peace he felt from the spirits brought him peace. He slowly developed the power to see, summon, and communicate with the departed. Summoning spirits from their afterlife takes a heavy toll on Cedar’s body, and he does so sparingly. The recovery is always rough and lasts quite a while. He can also astral project into the spirit realm in order to connect more with its inhabitants. When he is in his astral form his fur turns blue and he is cold to the touch. As long as his body remains in the physical realm, Cedar can return and go as he pleases.
Kal is Cedar's heart and entire world. There is nothing in this world that Cedar would not do for Kal to make him happy. They met in their high school years and have been inseparable ever since. They have had their ups and downs, but their love has strengthened and truly has become immeasurable.
To be determined.
To Be Determined
To be determined.
To be determined.
