dinosaurtaxfund's Links
counterpoint: mutual over-the-top hatred and its ensuing violence is really funny
don't let him near raph they'll both lose their fucking minds and try and rip each others' throats out out of blind rage
THERE IS A PRIMORDIAL SERPENT SLEEPING IN MY BRAIN, I FEEL ITS MUSCLES EXPAND AND CONTRACT
AGAINST MY LOBES, MY CORTEX, MY MUSCLES
I AM CERTAIN IT WILL WAKE UP
BUT WHEN?
I WEAR THIS FACE, INVERTED
they're bros what more can i say
leeches off of him to fuel his never-ending hunger. dimitri is seemingly ok with it so it's fine i think
i'm not talking to a man with an unwashed ass (yells at him for half an hour over the phone)
relax it's just called doing a little trolling
do not care did not ask PLUS you're stuck with me for the foreseeable future
mom come pick me up jinx is going on a maniacal rant again and she won't stop to let me hand her her order of mcnuggies :(
"reports" to uriel every once in a while so he can chill at the cafe with him. never orders a drink though that's kinda sad
keeps eros on a figurative leash so he doesn't go super joker mode. insists that he try powdered donuts (or whatever food he has on hand) but he straight up refuses every time.
fresh-from-the-factory angel gaia took as a replacement when staging the assassination of her colleague. eros is blessed enough (or maybe ignorant) to not know his second maternal figure (first being [REDACTED]) is a calculated killer. eternally grateful to her for taking him under her wing so he's blind to most of her wrongdoings. has some weird oedipus complex going on and gaia willingly indulges it.
due to liz's persistent "I Can Fix Her" syndrome florence has gone from Being A Bit Racist to... (checks notes) Not Racist. u can tell bc she "fell in love with" (read: became extremely attached to the first person to show her consistent human kindness) liz after viewing her as an equal
has a terminal case of platonic "i can fix them" syndrome. understands florence is from a different time period with different social norms but still willing to bitch-slap her if she drops some uncouth shit in public again
tl;dr i can ignore assault and property damage but i draw the line at racism
scared of roaches so he hands bug-squanching duty off to liz. been friends with her since high school and never once paid for gas for all the times she'd let him carpool. for every instance of a Richard And Liz Toxic Moment there's like 4 Richard And Liz Awesome Moments dw
resident bug handler. obligated to let him carpool after florence crashed his motorbike but the mf won't pay for gas. is the "voice of reason" of the house and talks richard down from the ledge a lot and they are Good Friends :D
thinks it's quite humorous to toy around with vanity but also sorta maybe kinda likes having her around. sometimes they sleep in the same bed idk, it's girls nite at the mansion and there is no getting out <3
also predatory and super weird but what’re you gonna do? cry about it
has a weird boss/subordinate relationship w/ desire as her "court jester" (read: assistant). if they're not in the mansion together they'll call each other on the phone for at least half an hour every day
we share one braincell. it’s gone missing i think
keeps hogging the braincell to *try* to be a productive member of society
all he wanted was one night of hand-holding he didn't sign up for whatever... *this* is
hesitant to steal his soul because he buys her fast food ig. also she's his pseudo-girlfriend so there's that
THE classic 'rivals to lovers' story; we went from florence getting into a drunk slapfight with her on day 1 to them being gfs. love wins <3
every day i wake up to this dumbass raiding my pantry at 5am. love loses </3
grateful that she can keep this kid from falling back under gaia’s wrath but super weary of ramona idolizing her and copying what she sees as her most negative traits, so she tries to put some distance between them. ultimately that would hurt ramona more than help (and frankly she needs all the help she can get) so florence begrudgingly lets her stay close.
i owe you my life :””0
wishes blair would stop being a greedy bastard with the company budget and not leave her egg salads in the fridge where *literally everyone else* has to put their lunch. also desperately wants to snatch her credit card information but we all can’t get what we want
don’t hate the player, hate the game you crusty whore <3
you are less than the dirt i walk on
i will wear your skin as a trophy and devour your eyes for fun
this guy definitely lives without a plumbing system
ive done the research, ive looked at the facts, ive analyzed the hard data and my conclusion is that youre way more mad than i am right now,
the next time she sees him it is on fucking sight. also hates how materialistic and over-ambitious he is but nonetheless commends him on surviving a fight with god
"neutral" towards his twin sister, but he absolutely despises her ramblings about touchy-feely stuff. probably because he gets no bitches
likes to gossip with her and do her nails. has a positive symbiotic relationship with her since sloth can fuck with bodies and hand over the souls over to her for eating
desire is sort of a big sister to her, figuratively and literally. she calls her up a lot to sic her on these hoes
do your laundry you piece of shit stoner. also sorry i crashed ur motorbike i didn't mean it :""""(
bonded over their disillusionment with the world and now she's on the hook to help him with whatever project he's trying to make.they smoke together sometimes.
met him over skype. yells over the phone about seasonal anime and how 'time is a flat circle'
met him over skype. chats on the phone about dumb programming shit n roswell's just like 'ooh i see'
boss gets a dollar, i get a dime, why tf can’t i call malice on company time 😔😔😔
*writes you an incredibly detailed email about how my day is going and what i want for dinner tonite* love u xoxo