tapewormslurper's Bulletins
Is anyone else getting random twitter account log in attempts or just me? 💀 Past week someone tried logging into my old twit acc tsuki3458, so i changed my pass. Then, today, someone tried logging in to my nsfw acc botflyswallower . is it just me or any1 else?
my tsuki3458 is private/locked but my nsfw should be public so //scratches brain confused
me and my friend did tarot readings LOL to see if it was my stalker from few years back but it seems like it isnt (surprisingly but a relief i do not want to deal w them again and i hope they grew up and got better).
i’m usually not one to be paranoid or stressed/confused bc growing up a lot of ppl hacked into my accs like my steam acc some russian hacked into it and deleted all my friends list :”) and changed my password (i know its russian bc i received steam email support in russian…) im sad they deleted all my steam friends…..
and my old youtube channel with 40k subs got hacked by crypto bros LMAO
the only strange thing with now is that they tried logging into my old tsuki3458 2 times last week and today my nsfw acc which makes no sense bc im only active on my public/current acc tapewormslurper
but yeah //weirded out
wow, hi guys, i am so sorry this is happening to all of you oh my god 💀
im looking into the persons accounts both on toyhouse and their 2 twit accounts and its very strange to me
i hope someway you will all receive your money soon jesus- this is literally insane💀
If you’re unaware:
https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/1746572.quick-psa-sheller-jodora-mass-chargebacks
i'm not sure if my prevous bulletin notified bc i put it in private first... idk how bulletin notifying works !
This is my current contact info last updated on: [ Feb 25, '24 ]
Please contact my boyfriend first before me unless you've already contacted me!
I will just have my boyfriend read it if I haven't read it myself or gotten back to you in a while ;-;"
His contact info:
Discord: bear436
Twitter: _DRAC0N_
My current contact:
tapewormslurper @ Discord
(Contact me here directly please! I get less anxiety when messaging here. Toyhouse Msgs/Comments second choice preferred, Twitter as a last resort)
this is my main/personal discord! not my other alt that i made a while ago ;-;
Umuulan467 @ Instagram
(This is my personal/private instagram! Do not message my art account tapewormslurper instagram!)
YOU CAN ASK MY BF FOR MY EMAIL IF you'd rather email me if you feel uncomfortable interacting with someone else other than me!
Thank you! I hope to end my ordeals this year entirely. (Preparing for the future! Never had goals before!)
How this will work is he just reads messages to me and I will reply but through his account (He'll copy paste what I write). I just need someone to be my proxy basically ;w;
Everything will still be handled with me 1on1 but I just need someone to help me with my inability to respond OTL
He is busy as well .... med student ...oops- so he will reply/let me know asap. For extra note, we are in EST/ET and he is usually free weekends and night times due to school and studying.
I don't want to ghost anyone anymore ;-; so I hope this proves to solve my communication problem.
In terms of art problem, I am trying to get back into drawing again OTL so I hope to be consistent. I am fixing all my problems by properly planning everything out because I realized I can NOT do shit unless I actively plan/write it down... looks at my hobonichi planner.... but yes. I aim to finish everything this year. As I want to take a break!!!! properly!!!! and enjoy creating again without any fear due to self destruction,,,
If it seems like I speak differently ? time to time? I caught this myself , it's mainly because I find that a bit of broken english makes it easier for non-fluent speakers to understand better.
I am pretty detailed and decently formal when writing but if you see me suddenly switch the way I speak/write it is due to that!
Over the years I developed a fear of checking messages due to a stalker who kept harrassing me for 2-3 years straight :') It has spiraled into me now fearing to check messages from people overall.
For those who did not follow me before when I was younger, they basically sent me a lot of graphic images including: Gore art of my OC, beastiality, pornography, yeahhh......
I didn't think about how much it will affect me as I now have trust issues and a fear of checking messages B") This is not limited to exchanging messages with people online as it has affected my personal relationships as well.
Mix in general guilt of not finishing stuff properly and on time and unfulfilled promises, add on to my anxiety I have gotten into a spiral.
If you message me and I respond a bit or right away but do not follow up, it is because of multiple things:
1.) Forgetfulness/Memory Issues . I am trying to fix this issue so that I will properly finish my dues and owes and just not trouble anyone anymore into the future.
I am also having some sort of time blindness??? in a way? Days are passing by too fast for me and I cannot manage time properly anymore.
2.) School. I am currently working for my Associates in Chemistry so I will be very busy OTL.... and if I can't focus on my studies either it is because of
3.) Family. I am middle child while taking care of my younger brother who is autistic and needs attentive care/help. He is nonverbal for the most part and needs assistance for a lot of daily necessities.
4.) Unorganized ;-; Sometimes my notifications pile up or I accidentally open one and I say I will reply later only to later on forget ;-;;;
5.) General Anxiety ? That is the best way I can put it >,>"
6.) Burnout ! I thought I was going to draw again last semester after or during my philippines trip but NOO AHAHK DRFGNJKFDNKjg......................... anyways. 8 flights with 4 back to BACK WHY MOM- and getting sick in the process !!! while also taking care of my brother who got sick !!!!!!!!!!!!! and being sent straight to school a week right after !!! WITH MY CLASSES IN THE MORNINGS!!!!!!!! BAD BAD BAD COMBO AAA............//bangs my head
ok i go to sleep now good night everyone ! wish for everyones safety :'( and may hard times heal and regrow into better times
FINALLY OTL I SET UP NEW CONTACT INFO...
My boyfriend will be helping me contact/talk with people regarding owed and any refunds.
If you prefer to use twitter, his account is https://twitter.com/_DRAC0N_ .
If you prefer to use discord, his account is bear436 . yes i told him to decorate it like that i am very on brand
If you don't feel comfortable communicating with my boyfriend, you can email me instead: [email protected] . I constantly look at my emails and I am less nervous (though still pretty am) at viewing and replying but not as bad as DMs.
Fully realized I will never be able to look at/am fully incapable in DMs or replying to people properly so I am having my partner help me out because I want to finish and end things properly this year and no more.
Any recent ones I'll handle myself accordingly but everyone else my partner will assist you/us OTL.
As stated before, I hope to issue refunds around Summer and finish it off this Fall. I don't honestly have much to refund to/for but this is how I will manage while paying tuition and rent/electricity at the same time.
In addition, if there is a design in my adopt folder you want a ping to, let me know (only if you havent commented on their profile already). No promises but I hope to finish a majority of them throughout this year. (I am so sorry to the people who even offered OTL)
I really just want to be free of any dues and want to enjoy making art let alone even making any art at all again.
Ramble - Toggle
I do not wish to elaborate about any specific happenings in my life but it has been always a rollercoaster. I will point out though that a PSA about me on deviantart under my old user 345348 ? i... am forgetting my own user- has been made few years ago and it was about a failed art trade. I took too long and kept losing contact and by the time I was about to continue and finish it I had to be sent to the ER Psych ward and unfortunately that PSA was made about me. I forgot before or after the submission to the psych ward but it all happened the same week! yep. I do not have any wish to take that PSA down nor any ill will to the artist and any others who developed bad blood with me because of my mishaps. I was too weak and was easily shaken by life happenings to properly fullfil any promises so now I am sick and tired of if all(myself) and am going to, absolutely will, finish everything this year. By all means necessary. Getting my life together. I am not going to ruin anything for me and for anyone else anymore.
Thank you. Again. For your patience. As always.
Salamat po ulit.
Now, in terms of boundaries - Toggle
I do not wish to participate or involve myself in any drama or bitterness.
I already set my morals and I refuse to partake in any anti/pro discourse because imo it’s very silly to me (please guys i just want everyone to get along its really stressful)
If you dislike the fact I use the words loli and futa by all means do whatever that makes you comfortable but do not harrass me. Posting about this before has gotten me softly blacklisted by the dainty cs because of my opinion/using the terms at all. Kindly do not contact me if you wanted anything for/with dainties.
As an unfortunately terminally ill online adult that grew up with it, who is also closeted trans and all things queer (I do not wish to die in my household. I already got threats of disownership and early death just for being atheist while I was younger btw), please be kind and not bully me for not bending my ass over to creeps who used the words loli and futa improperly. I adore lolita fashion and I do like lolis (I cope with them for my lost/broken childhood oops) so I hate the idea that loli is already considered a sexual term. In terms of futa, I've never once referred a trans person or character as such. It's supposed to be the term for intersex but overtime got used more/prominently in nsfw spaces. A lot of my characters have both genitalia and even none. If you don't like any of these facts(my sound opinion) , please do whatever makes you comfortable. I will continue complaining to my friends about how I didn't get a loli from a gacha game and will continue to make futa characters (I already have so many sweats").
If it isn't clear already, I have not posted nor will ever create nsfw of my underaged ocs. That is the job of my milfs and dilfs and intergalactic babes!!! why do u think they are so hot-
Why I am sensitive with people and dms: Stalker - Toggle
For those who are new and haven’t known me during my youtube years, I had a stalker who was younger than me by 2 years who was very explicit and was consistent on being one for around 3 years more or less. They made it extremely uncomfortable to trust any new person I was talking to, causing me to develop trust issues and a fear of opening dms/messages. They made numerous accounts on instagram, deviantart, twitter, and left paragraphs of comments on my youtube videos. They have broken boundaries by 1) sending me straight up porn while we were talking, this was when I was 13 and we started talking 2) Reposted my selfies onto their account which 3) INCLUDED PHOTOS OF MY YOUNGER BROTHER [I have a younger brother who I am extremely protective of as I am his primary caretaker and the sibling he mainly grew up with so my heart sank and I had a breakdown upon learning that] 4) Kept harassing me on every social media platform I had 5) Sent me beastiality porn (not art but an actual photo) through deviantart notes 6) god just too much torment. I finally called them out one last time around 2 years ish ago and yeah peace and quiet… At first I was very embarrassed and ashamed to have a stalker but now I am just… angry and upset. I did my best to avoid and reject them as a means of protecting them from their own self since they were younger than me but idk, evil/bad people start out young so yeah… Hope they have gotten better at least… that was my final “shut up” message to them to just actually grow up and get better. During that time I was fearful of them as well as other people who made me uncomfortable, but no longer anymore that is not how I’m going to continue with my life.
Turning 20 this year... wow…
A lot. and i mean. a lot. has happened. Throughout the years. Too many terrible. But, finally I can start to rest my heart.
Extra rambles - Toggle
I started my healing process by forgiving my parents especially my dad (on my bday ahaaaaa) and I’ve just made it a focus to continue life/living with love and to hold onto that resolve. My boyfriend… oh my god //slaps face. He’s a manchild. he’s even worse than my brother who is autistic and 9 years younger (sobs). But I love him very much so, I spoil him even when I am upset at him. Same with my brother, he is a reason why I’ve finally continued to fight to live and continue to love. Loving… is hard. Extremely, hard. Loving my partner with all the wrongs he has done to me and continue to do so is so hard. But nothing drives me more than spite LMAO. and yeah yeah love too. I am very forgiving (a bit too much but as a pinoy i hold onto the grudge hard too LOL). No worry is needed for me and my relationship as I already have a loving, forgiving, and extremely funny friend group. I never lie to them and am very honest, and they do the same. I know I am safe and protected by/with them. I love my friends very much. But why are all of them going into medical :”)
my dumbass is investing into every single one of my friends going into medical by being a sugar daddy and by the time they all have proper jobs im going to be their sugar baby, thats how it works right? (i do it with my partner bc i have 2 jobs and he doesnt oops)
also… why am i surrounded by koreans.… my main friend group 80% are korean…. please where are my pinoys…..
On another note, MY BROTHER IS SUCH A BOSSY BITCH OH MY GOD i wonder where he got that from (me. it was me.)
My brother has grown so much (literally too he almost my height omfg) and can speak/say more words even if theyre just one or 2 words. AT LEAST HE CAN COMMUNICATE NOW!!! AND ITS ALL MY FAULT AAAAAAAA he is mini me. I have also realized it is probably because i am also autistic (undiagnosed i need to get checked out) which is why me and him resonate a lot. i also dont know why but anytime i play games with my friends (i scream and yell a lot not bc i rage but bc im just rlly loud) he falls asleep!!! but if hes in my sisters room he cant sleep!!! ig me playing games is white noise to him lol asmr. I kept complaining to him overtime to “close the door” and “turn off the lights” and now he says “turn off” and “close door” 🥹🥹🥹🥹 also he says “hugas” which means “wash“ whenever he needs to be cleaned after using the toilet. before he would just stay there and wait for us to check on him but now he comes out of the bathroom and says hugas to us. He now also says a bunch of things whenever he needs something and its so cute. one time we were in central park and i was with him just us 2 and we were walking around, he picked up this really big stick and we walked to this area with a little white boy around his age or maybe slightly younger and the kid asked my brother “can i have that“ and i didnt know how to respond like “uhhh(my brother oh no hes really clingy with his things andi dont think he can understand or even)-“ but then suddenly my brother like closed his eyes and makes this face anytime hes shy and hugs me and then gives me the stick… so that i could give it to the boy 🥹 bc right after he gave me the stick instantly he walks off to a different direction/place… sobs
HIS BITCHASS DOESNT SHARE TOO LIKE… ESP WITH STRANGERS… IT WAS REALLY CUTE….
my brother also makes it a habit to always stay in the same place/vicinity as me whenever its just us 2. one time in the philippines we were in a mall and i lost sight of him and i was really paranoid i even walked to almost the other side of the mall but i came back to where i was and he was still there thank god. i most likely just had tunnel vision. i was ordering these waffles and my brother was just walking around the same area in a circle. and he instantly comes to me anytime i call him so he knows to follow me. he also makes it a habit to hold my hand anytime we’re walking and lets go only if he wants to walk further ahead or anything else.
oh yeah… he... also likes bubble tea now… specifically milk tea he doesnt like bubbles lol.
he an avid milk drinker too now. that bitch stealing all my food..… he takes my sweets, chips, milk, milk tea //sniffs
yeah… i love my brother… why we almost the same height though this is unfair
Yeah… hehe i’m tired oops i have work aaaa
i see too many backroom adopts that are just 1:1 copies/reference to each other and i just cant.
why r u bidding money at that point just do the same as them its not original anymore-
hi i could notbelieve something real bad could happen to me last quarter into 2023 but it did lmao //slaps knee
Anyways.
2024 New Years promises:
- Finish all art debts. This includes art and refunds. I will try to finish all refunds by summertime since I juggle between paying tuition and electricity bills!
- Get back into art especially start art journey where i can qualify as a pro freelance artist because i want to attend light box expo in the coming 5-10 years.
- Start developing 5 original projects i have planned and at least finish 1 in 2024 potentially around dec2024 since i will be busy spring summer and fall for school (cries at tuition).
- actually finish more than 1 piece of art. since the past 2 years or so i have NOT finished a single piece of art EVER this shit crazy bonkers man!!!
I will possibly attend AnimeNYC2024 in august again (possibly friday not saturday since i want dibs on some art merch cus im a filthy rat) and tickets will go on sale again this january so ! yeah !
this semester was WACK i had to drop my main chem class and i think i have to drop my math class again and retake it 3rd time next semester (dies)
hope everyone else doing school and college is getting by though! :"") i hear it is just tough this semester //cries
And again, stay safe everyone. Remember to keep your head up high and keep going on!!! Never give up!!!
if you need any more motivation, get a silly little guy (looks at the countless tiny figures i have... uh oh)
this 2023 year was way too much for me//twirls hair
See you guys again 2024! and for real this time. with actual art. wow. crayzy
Lots of love!!! xoxo
if im slow / take a while to reply its because i have been very hectic ! now im just recovering from animenyc and work bc my feet and back hurt so much for no reason (rubs shrimp shell) my entire body hurts… why… (also my mental has been decaying more than i thought it would and at a stronger and faster rate youch)
ive been doing part time recently at a boba tea shop and wow ! today had to do 215 items due to 2 massive orders n my boss did not let me know until i showed up late to work bc i lost my keys somewhere… going to look for them…. anywho
i will get back to everyone around wednesday ! est/new york time
my depression got worse LMAO , stay safe once again everyone, lots of love, much needed for all
edit: should clarify i know not to direct 1:1 copy. ive had people do heavy referencing on others and also myself so i know not to do that. im not that dumb :”)
How would you guys feel if theoretically speaking, i see ai adopts and i got "imma take that" for myself. Not going to ever sell but at least just for myself. but if i ever do rehome the character would sale be ok? i was thinking of just regular trade.
bc i just got back on dA and i was NOT prepared to see the amt of ai art let alone ai adopts like 😢😢😭😭
its already one thing to pay 6-25usd for an ai adopt, its another thing to be charged an extra dollar or so just to enlarge the image :))))) yes i am petty
i dont like purge so imma just say rehome
Offer on any of my ocs even the ones in the Revamping folder, this is completely separate from my UFS/OTA/Adopt folder !!!
unsorted is also included bc i do not organize wow!!!
my own designs in those folders are in limbo fr....
Obv gonna be ranked up in difficulty so no lowballing !!!! i adopt a baby because i wanted to love them but i cannot and havent been able to for years.
i want them in good loving homes! please use them and cherish them! i havent even been able to do that even to my own ocs like egg, times are tough
i want them with stories! good and bad! good and all
extremely depressed be like 🌦️
happy halloween
stay safe everyone !!!!
i am very sad lmao