Hello, friend! I do in fact have something I would LOVE to be taken off my hands.
I've got a bag full of bedsheets right here with me! Sheets, pillowcases, a blanket, bedskirt and all. They're all perfectly fine sheets, mind you! A lovely shade of pinkish-red, too. But you see, someone rather unsavory had to sleep on them in my chambers one night long ago, and the thought of keeping them makes me violently sick. :} Have you any interest in them and their story?
Ohhh yesss, that is just about what my problem is.
This particular individual (I'll give false names to protect my own hide! ;P), Ocho, had... Quite the argument with his roommate, Abigail. Mine (Nueve), bless his darling heart, had the bright idea to let Ocho sleep in our guest bedroom that night so as not to add any more fuel to that fire.
But my roommate is the sweetest little man you'd ever meet, and I'm not sure he could comprehend the depths of my fiery loathing. So, y'know, there's that.
Ｂｕｔ ｍａｒｋ ｍｙ ｗｏｒｄｓ, ｈｅ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｄｅｓｅｒｖｅ ｉｔ.
So anyway, there I was begrudgingly preparing our guest bed with our SECOND (SECOND)-finest linens, knowing that disgusting flightless lizard's revolting body was going to be in PHYSICAL CONTACT with our ＳＥＣＯＮＤ－ＦＩＮＥＳＴ ＬＩＮＥＮＳ. And the devil himself walks in, uselessly flops onto the bed ＡＳ Ｉ ＡＭ ＭＡＫＩＮＧ ＩＴ and asks me, wine in hand, if Nueve sleeps with me.
Of course he does.
Ａｎｄ ｔｈｅｎ ｈｅ ｓｔａｒｔｅｄ ｌａｕｇｈｉｎｇ. He had always thought Nueve was attractive.
The level of willpower it took not to break his glass and gouge his eyes out so he never looked at my master mine like that again was nearly traumatizing. I've held onto the sheets out of respect for Nueve, but I really do think it's time to let them go. :<
Spinycemb
Hello, friend! I do in fact have something I would LOVE to be taken off my hands.
I've got a bag full of bedsheets right here with me! Sheets, pillowcases, a blanket, bedskirt and all. They're all perfectly fine sheets, mind you! A lovely shade of pinkish-red, too. But you see, someone rather unsavory had to sleep on them in my chambers one night long ago, and the thought of keeping them makes me violently sick. :} Have you any interest in them and their story?
7 years, 9 months ago
Oh my. Yes, I'd be glad to rid you of them. I've GOT to hear this if their very presence has made these objects unusable for you.
7 years, 9 months ago
Ohhh yesss, that is just about what my problem is.
This particular individual (I'll give false names to protect my own hide! ;P), Ocho, had... Quite the argument with his roommate, Abigail. Mine (Nueve), bless his darling heart, had the bright idea to let Ocho sleep in our guest bedroom that night so as not to add any more fuel to that fire.
Ａｓ ｆｏｒ ｍｅ, Ｉ ｈａｔｅ Ｏｃｈｏ ａｎｄ ｗｉｓｈ ｕｐｏｎ ｈｉｍ ｏｎｌｙ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｓｔ ｐａｉｎｆｕｌ ｏｆ ｄｅａｔｈｓ.
But my roommate is the sweetest little man you'd ever meet, and I'm not sure he could comprehend the depths of my fiery loathing. So, y'know, there's that.
Ｂｕｔ ｍａｒｋ ｍｙ ｗｏｒｄｓ, ｈｅ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｄｅｓｅｒｖｅ ｉｔ.
So anyway, there I was begrudgingly preparing our guest bed with our SECOND (SECOND)-finest linens, knowing that disgusting flightless lizard's revolting body was going to be in PHYSICAL CONTACT with our ＳＥＣＯＮＤ－ＦＩＮＥＳＴ ＬＩＮＥＮＳ. And the devil himself walks in, uselessly flops onto the bed ＡＳ Ｉ ＡＭ ＭＡＫＩＮＧ ＩＴ and asks me, wine in hand, if Nueve sleeps with me.
Of course he does.
Ａｎｄ ｔｈｅｎ ｈｅ ｓｔａｒｔｅｄ ｌａｕｇｈｉｎｇ. He had always thought Nueve was attractive.
Ｈｅ ｃｏｎｇｒａｔｕｌａｔｅｄ ｍｅ ａｎｄ ｅｘｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｕｔｍｏｓｔ ｅｎｖｙ ｆｏｒ ｍｙl̛̛̞̤̙̰̰͚̘̩͕̘̕u̡̧͏̨̟̩̹̝̪͙c̶̸̛̼̼̱͇̦̦̘̫̳̪̳͈̹̯͚̰͘k̨̻͉̮̣̥̬̹̳͉̣͔̫̩͈̹̖̖ͅy̵҉̧͖̰̜͇͉̦̗͉̥̭͇̣̭͝ ̨̻̫̭̜̟͎̩̞̣͇̠̺̱̘̹͔̘̀́͘͝s̸̛̮̲͖̻̝͙͉̩͕̘͢͠i̸̧͍͎̹͉͖̬̮̤̪͉̦͙̟̘͟͠t̵̵̛̰͍̦̤͓̥̻̝͈̤͍͔̼͓͙̗͉̫͟͜ư̧̩̩̲̬̼͉̹̟̮̱̕͠ͅa̢̛̰̤͙̤̼̻̰͈̙͓̯̙̜̦̩̝̺̕͡ͅt̢̻̪̦͚̣͇̱̖̱͇̬̗͉̗̫̟̮͘͝͝͠i͏̛̲̠͔̬͎̱̮̲̫̻͈͜͞ͅó̴̧̨͕͉̟͕̜̰̣̠̻̳͞ͅṇ̢̲͈̥̞̟̯̰͕͙̩͙͝ͅ.̡͜͡͞͏̲̜̮̲
The level of willpower it took not to break his glass and gouge his eyes out so he never looked at my master mine like that again was nearly traumatizing. I've held onto the sheets out of respect for Nueve, but I really do think it's time to let them go. :<
That answer your question?
7 years, 9 months ago
Yes yes yes it does. I can definitely understand why you had taken umbrage with him as well. I'll gladly take them off your hands.
7 years, 9 months ago
Lovely! ^_^ Would you like me to keep an eye out for anything else lying around that has been tainted?
7 years, 9 months ago
Yes, of course! Although if the stories themselves hurt to think much about, I won't make you relive them.
7 years, 9 months ago