Mental illness+disability in OCs discussion

I've been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - which is what most of the characters with 'PTSD' that I've seen should be calling their disorders. The different is that PTSD tends to stem from one major event, or potentially a handful of similar events, whereas C-PTSD is from repeated traumatic instances such as childhood abuse, abusive relationships, sexual abuse, human trafficking, living in a warzone, etc. I understand that it's just because people aren't really aware of the difference, but a quick google can tell you there is one. It's just frustrating to see people claiming their characters are diagnosed and it's - unless this is a key plot point - wrong as hell. 

So many characters I've seen don't actually exhibit PTSD symptoms either, they're just scared of stuff which is a valid way to respond to trauma but to get diagnosed with PTSD you have to experience more than that as a symptom. There's actually like, so many things you need more than that. Like, a lot of the characters I see here have a bit of The Sads and have panic attacks. Now, I am definitely not saying that that's not valid cus it is - but it's not PTSD. It's frustrating to watch people who don't seem to do any basic research outside of 'one time I saw this character who was like this', and it really doesn't take that much work. Below is a list of PTSD diagnostic criteria. 

I'm also diagnosed with BPD - borderline personality disorder. It's horrific. I hate living with it, and it's more damaging to my daily life than my C-PTSD. But the only characters I see with it are the... well, super-fast-bipolar-axe-murderers or the hyper-manipulative-evil-genius characters. Also a lot of people seem to mix up bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, there's... so much wrong with that. I'm just so used to BPD being used to signify that this character is 'clearly evil' and 'awful' when in reality everyone I know with BPD is struggling to keep themself in check all the time because they care about other people too much. 

The last issue that really digs into me personally is ADHD. I have ADHD and it's the woooorrrsssttt. I constantly talk over people, I get distracted when people are talking to me because I'm focusing too much on listening to them talk to me and I don't process what they're saying, I am bored ALL OF THE TIME and I cannot bring myself to do basic chores like cleaning and washing because they're not FUN and don't give me the dopamine boost I need. It means that even when I'm doing well, my room is a tip. I have a million unfinished projects. My friends think I'm a flake because I forget I agreed to do stuff with them. It's not just all quirky and happy and fun-fun-fun. It's hard and a struggle and I NEED characters to display this side of ADHD too. I know that the fun bit is the public face, but even just... a character coming home to a sink full of dishes would be enough. 

I'd also say a pet peeve of mine is labeling people for the purpose of like... creating a list to prove how messed up the character is. Like. Some things are comorbid, and I understand that because like, comorbidity between C-PTSD and BPD and such. But, some people will just slap diagnoses onto their characters with no thought about the symptoms of those things and how they should actually be affecting the character. You can't say your character has X without giving them the symptoms of X. 

...oops that was very long. 

goblinkore i'm also diagnosed with BPD, and a lot of what you've written about it there resonates with me really strongly (especially the negative perception many people have of it). it's really upsetting to see the very cruel portrayal of it from the mental health industry + society at large bleed so hard into ocmaking. :(

i think one of the things people miss about BPD is how utterly self-loathing, self-hating, and self-blaming it is. they see a list of the symptoms and construct things like the manipulative hyper-villain, or axe murderer, etc., like you said, all while not being capable of tapping into the degrading, all-consuming thought process that regularly annihilates your own self esteem and sense of identity. and it's a very hard mindset to get into, i understand, for people who don't have BPD - because it can turn something as simple as making yourself a sandwich that you like into a spiral that brings you to the brink of self-harm because of how horribly all-consuming it can be. 

i actually haven't seen a lot of BPD characters on toyhouse, myself, but i don't tend to go poking about. on a "soft" rule i guess i'd say most of my characters have some aspects of it, or at least dysfunctional thought patterns, because i really struggle to write anything that's not the BPD process, so i'm sure it gets rubbed off on all of them - but my sona(s) get it the most.

Kolo I get it, honestly. Most of my characters have had shitty childhoods and gone through traumatic stuff anyway, but I don't ever 'diagnose' them unless I feel like it's actually relevant to the story? I mean, I was undiagnosed for 15 years and I'm one of the lucky ones. 

My Most BPD character is Diachi who's a dry witted sarcastic asshole who absolutely hates himself. I've considered even making him the main character but I like the other story too much to change it. He's got trigger warnings for shitty childhood / childhood abuse, alcoholism and needles, so I am not expecting anyone to check him out at all, but his whole Thing is that he's latched onto Darius - closest thing to a Favourite Person - and doesn't understand why Darius can balance multiple friendships without feeling less for him, and a lot of Daichi's conflicts come from trying to rationalise that Darius isn't abandoning him. He also ends up reconnecting with his sister, Aoi, who came out of their childhood much better adjusted, and has a whole load of self-hate and guilt over the fact that he didn't do enough for her, which leads him down a dark path until Darius is able to help him out of it. I don't have him officially diagnosed with BPD because I don't feel like official diagnoses would really be possible in that universe, but he 100% cannonically has BPD. 

I have 2 vent characters, and one of them Anoixi Sade, who I will not link because I don't have a full TW list yet but is on my profile, has taken the brunt of my BPD feelings. I really feel awful looking at them when I'm 'better' but when I'm 'worse' it's like looking in a mirror. Super fun. 

goblinkore

yeah, it can be really really hard to see aspects of yourself that you dislike in characters. :( for what it's worth, i like both of yours - i think they're very well-written and realistic. (and i feel really bad for both of them, too, which helps ahaha). i really liked the comics in anoixi's profile - they hit some really familiar spots for me.

Kolo that legitimately means a lot to me, thank you! 

ANXIETY IS NOT JUST BEING SHY, NAVING RANDOM PANIC ATTACKS AND ROCKING BACK AND FORTH LIKE A ROCKING CHAIR

Sorry, but as someone w anxiety that just pisses me off

(lent from LGBT+ threat I guess) Anyone discovered or got a clearer idea of their own mental illnesses through OC making? I suppose it's less likely than figuring one's orientation and gender out by making characters who belong to them, but maybe it might help being more aware of what is happening to you?

LeoLeonis - Definitely, some of my OCs from when I were a kid were things I now realise were just manifestations of my trauma. At the time, interacting with them just made me feel 'better' and give me a little bit of a free space to cope with / deal with my own understanding of myself and what happened to me. It didn't make me feel the same as the OCs that matched me alongside gender and sexuality lines, but it was a similar 'good' feeling. 

goblinkore I see! I also sometimes see things in past OCs that, in retrospect, seem related to some of the issues I've gone through. So what's your relationship with those characters now? Like, are they just in the past, like they've fulfilled their purpose, or you still kinda like dealing with them on even just a theoretical level?

LeoLeonis I'd say that the ones from the time I sort of grew out of because of their basis being made by a fourteen year old. But I've kept a lot of the traits in the newer OCs, developed them more as I've grown up. I'm currently writing a piece that began - as all my stuff does - with a character concept and a vague plot, that I can now see is HUGELY about dealing with trauma and breaking out of generational trauma cycles and how that changes the potential life you had into the real life you have now. The actual characters I use get discarded fairly regularly, maybe once a year, but the core concepts keep coming back in each set of newbies. 

goblinkore I see, thanks for the answer!

If anyone has characters with OCD and has questions about it, I'd be happy to answer. OCD varies a lot, but it also gets entirely misrepresented by the neverending "omg im like SO ocd about my desk being neat".

My OCD is very touch-centered. I don't have germ/cleanliness or repetition obsessions or compulsions, but I can imagine how those might feel. Mine is almost entirely based off of needing to be "even". If somebody touches my left side, I have to touch my right in the same spot. If I step on something bumpy, I have to step on it with the other foot. On the surface it's pretty simple to navigate, but it gets difficult when I can't replicate the feeling exactly. I often have phantom feelings in some parts of my body, which are the hardest to "make even". Often this leads to complete meltdowns, which will quite thoroughly ruin a day. Medication has helped me a LOT, but obviously it doesn't work for everyone. Other things I struggle with are textures, being touched (by anyone other than my spouse, who has spent the past 11 years learning how to best navigate my OCD) and certain routines that I have to follow, such as putting my shoes on in a certain order.

So yeah, TMI probably but if it helps anyone develop a character, worth I guess?

I also have some good 'ol anxiety and depression, but the anxiety mostly comes from the OCD and the depression has been helped SO much by medication that it's like being an entirely different person.
Oh and I have a thing called prosopagnosia, aka face blindness. It's not that interesting- I just can't remember faces. Like... they don't compute. I've learned to work around this by paying extra attention to people's other features like the way they walk, what they sound like, their hair, etc. Idk it might be interesting for a character because it creates some incredibly awkward situations, like when your aunt gets a hair cut and you're like "who the f?" but I guess that's not really a disability its just kind of an inconvenience lol

i can give advice on depression, adhd, and ocd if anyone needs it.

on topic: although i dont seek them out i do enjoy seeing characters that have realistic/believable mental illness instead of yet another edgy yandere school girl with a kitchen knife, and similar shallow characters. I occasionally add mental illnesses/disorders to my own characters and theyre mostly the ones i have experience with (because people say to write what you know :P)

So I was scrolling through this list of dere types http://www.hxchector.com/all-dere-types-anime-manga/, and it seems quite apparent that not only the yanderes are the usual potentially damaging trope, but many must have been misused as representation for certain mental conditions? Like the utsudere that literally has "depression" in the name, but also kuudere and shundere that are similar. Plus the byoukidere aka the bearer of anime girl disease because looking actual illnesses up is difficult. Not sure what point I'm making, but basically... anime uwufication being taken as serious business again?