I'd like to create a character with anxiety, but I don’t know much about it. Like, is there anything I should avoid?
an idea not so subtly stolen from the LGBT discussion thread
Mental illness + disability and the space in between is something I'm interested in as someone with both lol , and outside of various 'share an oc' threads that pop up every so often I thought it'd be neat to have a place to talk about it? Plus I've seen my share of people looking for advice so hey why not.
This is pretty similar to the LGBT thread : share your thoughts about mental illness and/or disabilities in characters or ask for advice, specific or not!
This is not a show me thread ! They got those in char discussion.
For the comfort of others, please either black out (like this, changing both the background AND font) or spoiler sensitive topics like self harm, suicide, and details of trauma.
Only rule here is be civil and don't jump on people's throats...... please.........
While talking about tropes you dislike is fine, vague-posting other users is not
The reason this is posted from my side acc is so I can use blocking as a form of moderation should anything get out of hand.
if you have any problems before i can catch them ping zinnia !
It depends, as long as its respectful and accurate its fine by me!
currently trying to write a Seargent with PTSD over loosing his best friend, so advice would be really good. I have the basics but it could be better!
don't make them a stuttering mess. its not cute. its frustrating.
my experience of anxiety is where I feel like I'm constantly being crushed, and its really hard to do even the simplest things when it hits hard. I cry a lot because its easier than not expressing myself and leaving it be. When my friends hang out with other people I feel like I'm not needed, even though they still are my best friends. Overwhelming self doubt and fear of loosing people because I'm pretending to be good enough is a huge thing for me, and it has actually caused arguments with friends because I am so,, scared of loosing them.
however that is one guy's experience, not everyone's will be the same.
1. Thank you for that! I really enjoyed reading it and I feel a lot better about my autistic characters knowing that I managed to avoid most of the stereotypes and make them into the real people they actually are :)
2. Fellow narcoleptic! I can confirm that emotional highs and lows definitely play a part. I am curious though, do you experience cataplexy? I know it usually goes hand in hand with narcolepsy, but I don't seem to have it. Or at least, it's very mild.
(For the thread) My personal experience with narcolepsy (which may be very different from others- I've never met anyone else with it, so I only know what the internet tells me and what I personally experience) is that some days are better than others, emotional highs and lows can really hit hard, and some medications (for me, prozac) seem to make it more pronounced. I can usually tell when I'm going to crash (before I understood what narcolepsy was, I called them "sleep attacks". I typically have hot/cold flashes, sometimes I get a bit nauseous, and I get very brain-foggy (confusion, difficulty processing information, extreme forgetfulness). I tend to rub my face a lot without really meaning to. When all this occurs I typically have about five minutes to find somewhere horizontal. Depending on circumstances (normal vs. stressful situation) my "naps" last anywhere between 15 min and hours. Some days it'll happen once, some days it's a constant struggle to keep my eyes open. That being said, I don't think everyone with narcolepsy gets as much warning as I do. Especially if they have cataplexy.
Trying to fight off a sleep attack feels like taking too much sleep medication and trying to run a marathon. Usually I can't do it, but on the rare occasion (especially if I'm driving) eating a snack will buy me a little time. Especially crunchy things. idk why.
As for treatment, my doctor basically just said "nap it off". I can't have stimulant medications (what they normally give, I think) because of a minor heart condition.
Hope this is helpful, and if anyone else has narcolepsy I'd love to hear your experiences!
galatea OMG I hope it's manageable/treatable in your case, but I'm glad Alciel exists! Thanks for sharing!
saw this thread and wanted to contribute my personal experience with one mental illness that i have always seen lots of people want to write about, and didnt see brought up yet. hope its ok to share! this is on the topic of trauma based disorders and dissociation. i have DID and boy, do i see a lot of people on forums (mostlyyy /r/DID) asking about how to write it. a lot. i usually get closed off about those questions because there is barely any DID rep out there that what i see mainstream is bad but i want to share some opinions here because i definitely dont want people to feel like they should never touch that disorder ever. its important to know how to write these things so that people other than those w said disorder can understand them and spread awareness! People totally can write this stuff, its just that the info to understanding trauma and DID is not often shared.
wanted to add this disclaimer: i have multiple other disorders that act with my DID (ocd, autism, adhd cptsd, and others) so my personal experiences may unknowingly reflect bits of those things as well but i do focus on DID here. just be aware if you ask me any specifics about symptoms or daily life bc those others do come into play.
DID is a trauma based disorder (it is a dissociative disorder, but it is caused by trauma). i think bad paths to go down while writing DID is solely focusing on the alters in someone's head... its not that they are not important, but i do not go about my day to day life constantly paying attention to then, writing about them, focusing on their conversations, etc. They are there and thats kind of it- i think what is much more prevalent in my life is 1) disorganization with my life (memory loss) due to the symptoms or 2) the effects of trauma. It isnt to say you cannot have a story focused inside someone's headspace but... it leaves me on the side of irking at it because then it may not focus on what DID really is. It isn't just a fun inner world to goof around in with random characters... I wont go on too long abt that specific scenario but i am willing to expand on why on a inner world focus story may not be a good idea to tackle without understanding DID personally. People writing about this disorder should not pick it up simply because its "interesting" that someone has multiple identities, they choose to write the disorder knowing full well that it is based around trauma (and technically a more complex form of PTSD). Additionally, DID is very unique to individuals themselves. This isn't to say they are wildly different like one person displays totally different symptoms- they all fit the criteria but for example: some people are much more covert that youd think (which is actually whats more common), some people feel physical sensations while others dont, some people have headspaces that are houses and some have plain wilderness, and so on. Thats all a lot to dump, but i do say this as a general disclaimer as my experience is not the same as every other person with DID! And you definitely shouldn't take one person's example as the exact way to write DID.
One concern too is always drawing the line between thoughtfully written trauma and romanticizing the trauma. DID is formed by long term childhood (5-9) trauma with a huge range as to what it can be. Don't get nasty and focus on gross traumas because its "interesting"... There is definitely a point where an author's focus on such gruesome topics come off more like interest in the horrible thing and not care for the disorder and the character is has affected. You can write your weird dark focused story without trying to add such a misrepresented disorder in, bc at that point its not about the disorder. Focus on that character, how they feel, how they're processing, how theyre healing. You can still have an angsty sad story w traumatized characters without glorifying the abuse/trauma.
I don't wanna go on too long with this. It may seem like i am speaking more of Just Trauma in general but thats kinda the thing- people get too interested in writing DID for the wrong reasons i feel! it doesnt mean ignore the whole system stuff, just know what it really actually is- its a trauma based disorder. Trauma is the main point of it and it will certainly be the thing that defines how your character acts and reacts to the world.
i am wholly open to ppl messaging me about DID questions if they have an OC who has/will have it. doesnt matter how dumb the question is, i am nice and will be nice to those who are not aware of stuff!!! but for the sake of adding some help, my fave sites for resources are traumadissociation (great for all trauma and dissociation disorders) and didresearch.
(should be very very very clear me having DID has nothing to do with or relate to natural systems, tulpamancy, endogentic systems, non-trauma systems etc... i am not here to talk about any of that stuff. do not bring it up to me, it is not related.)
Honestly I think it’s fine. I just hate it when the character creator tries to make it an “I’m so quirky” thing for the character. It’s disrespectful
Obviously mental disorders/disability shouldn't be romanticized, but it's so depressing to see symptoms get glorified and turned into a 'trait'.
This has definitely been mentioned before, likely in different wording, but it's so annoying when people are like "XD my violent boy" and then their whole profile is painted strictly negative and anything that IS a positive is to feed things like bad habits or unhealthy coping. And then the said character is like.. drawn with cutesy gore or is justified in wrong situations because they 'are schizophrenic uwu' or whatever the creator names it.. sometimes it doesn't even look like some people have ever heard of things like mania or psychosis to even be able to identify their OC with it.
Yes, a character can have trouble with coping/habits and that can be a part of their character but! It's unrealistic to have (like above) a quirky character that /is/ their disability, where unhealthy traits are turned into norm without any if at all background. I think a lot of the problem is plenty of misinformation & generalizations which aren't helpful when some of the community is made of naive, impressionable minors that sometimes want to get attention for their characters or even themselves. This isn't to point fingers but I've seen it a lot! It's weird, please cut it out with self-diagnosis and fetishized symptoms!!
Also, I wanna add that self-harm isn't an accessory and people that do this aren't always depressed or suicidal, news flash! It's a pretty big stereotype. This is fairly personal but I think it's kind of weird when people do things like make a whole ref sheet for their character's self-harm scars, and usually when i come across it, they're always drawn fresh.. like, I'm not really sure what to say about that. It's even worse when it's represented in a way where it's EVERYWHERE and unexplained/untagged then put in public art activities like freebies & games. You can PM me if you wanna talk about this more in depth or question, it's all coool but I may b burnt
oh and blindness doesn't generally mean a person will have milky (white) eyes lol, that's usually caused by things like cataracts/traumatic injury but I won't delve. Blindness can also be caused by diabetes, which isn't something i've seen on TH at all (because I guess mood disorders are often focused on more)
I definitely think it's important to give representation, it would just be nice if more people did their research and reached out to actually flesh out a character that portrays something respectfully, accurately, and realistically. As for myself, I don't usually go in depth on my profiles because I'm often too nervous to get things wrong (even though I have studied mental illness/autism in advanced psych/I have connections) but I do keep things implied. Personally, I think that's all you need sometimes. I HOPE THIS WHOLE RAMBLE WASN'T TOO MUCH DBSBNFD
Hi, I'd like to ask for a few free opinions and/or tips regarding two different topics:
1) Mental illness, disabilities and neurodivergence in personas and egos
So I believe it's generally widely accepted that a persona can have the same diagnosed conditions their owner has, both explicitly or only implied, and I suppose it's also fine for a persona not to have any condition or handle them differently (for example, magic helps the persona to do the thing the owner can't and therefore it doesn't impact the persona as much as it affects the owner). But what about personas who have conditions the owner doesn't have or have a diagnosis for - not to get sidetracked by the vast sea of Internet not-to-do things let's only consider the case in which 1) the conditions are not "I'm so quirky and edgy uwu" material 2) the conditions themselves are not misrepresented 3) the depiction is respectful and not the only thing going on ? In synthesis, the character part is handled like any character with a condition should be, but it's a persona, meaning there is supposed to be a very strong tie to the creator - a creator who either is not diagnosed or doesn't even experience the thing first hand. Do you think this would be acceptable, just very weird, or outright appropriation? Is the good representation worth the situation, let's say?
While for a more shaded area: have a similar situation, but involving not a persona, but a in-story ego of the author (for example an alter ego who expresses opinions, stances and poetics of the author, like a Lord Wotton to the author Oscar Wilde where Wotton is saying stuff Wilde would but we can't know if he would be interested into turning Wotton into a design he'd use as a persona and avatar; or just a character that is modelled after the author but then acts and thinks in their own ways the author doesn't necessarily agree with or think they would do themselves). I'd tend to believe this situation would be more flexible since there's supposed to be less of a connection to the author, but since the border between a ego and a persona can be shaded, would the answer to the above scenario easily seep through? (Ex. I have a character that I sometimes use almost as a persona but is still quite distinct from me, especially with the stuff he does in fiction; and I strongly suspect I might be autistic but can't have a diagnosis any time soon, while he is officially, and he also has light frontal brain damages while this is not true for me in the capacity I can tell; especially for what concerns the second condition, is this ethical?)
2) Negative reactions to disability
Just looking for tips here really, so the thing is mostly writing about already adolescent to adult characters who have acquired a physical disability or had a late onset (ex. fell off a thing one day and lost a limb or just suddenly discovered they're going to go blind some day) and take the worst possible route to deal with it - not only lose some part of their identity, be through all the stages of grief and have to put up with ableism for real now before hopefully finding their new balance, self, acceptance and better social interactions, but rather take a turn for the worse in their personality and act on it, for example feel like nobody cares, nothing matters and therefore why should they not throw a thing against that dog over there, life sucks whether or not the poor thing is hurt or not so why not enjoy yourself. This goes without saying, it should never be implied that the disability itself is what caused the character to become a jerk, and having other characters who lives the process differently would make it even clearer; but I'm quite worried it's either going to sound like giving any villain a backstory to make them look cool for the kids, or make people go "of course they would react like this, disabilities truly make people not be accountable for their actions any more! My able-bodied person's empathy totally gets it! I'll be glad to cry over people I've just met because of their own disabilities from now on!", none of which I want to unknowingly do but I'm not sure how to avoid it so... any tips and/or examples?
Hello, I'm sorry for the ping! I wanted to ask you a bit about autism and a few questions aboutnacrolepsy is that fine?
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I have an OC who has Aspergers, and I must admit I haven't done a lot of in-depth research for him. He's not on TH so I can't link him here.
I wanted to know if it kind of works as a character on the spectrum? I wanted to ask a fellow online acquaintance but I felt a bit awkward asking him ahah-
It's going to get a bit long because of a little rambling so I do apologise in advance.
TL;DR: OC is obsessed with TV series, have trouble empathizing with others, impulsive. Sometimes speech gets repetitive.
Not sure if you're familiar with the Ace Attorney franchise, but he's like the assistant character you get in the games, working with the defense attorney (who happens to be his aunt). For now the only backstory he has is that he graduated high school and doesn't quite know what to do so his parents asked him if he wanted to do something about the line of criminology (not sure about the right term) since one of the things he's very fascinated with is crime and mystery TV series. So right now he's just tagging along with his aunt.
Several traits I have for him that is due (?) to his condition is that he's heavily obsessed about television shows. He'd watch anything he can. From kid's shows to romance and crime. Old, or new. He could binge them at an unhealthy amount and speed. He expresses child-like excitement and interests when he talks about it, not that he usually does (his parents and aunt are usually those he talk to about his interest).
I read online that people with Aspergers are often "into" things that are really specific? For this OC it's, to be specific, shows that includes very dense action scenes (not particularly violence).
Unrelated by he's also very attached to anything with the colours of orange and yellow for no particular reason. Not sure why myself.Though he has black hair and dyed a piece of it white. More on that below.
He grew up in a very loving family. An only child though, since his parents have difficultly giving birth. The only violence he sees is on TV (until he started working with his aunt). He has a hard time empathizing with others, especially when it comes to sadness. He can read the atmosphere pretty well at times, but he's not sure how to react sometimes. He often doesn't speak instead to others when he's not sure how to react, but when he's alone with people he trust he's very honest and can be rather blunt. He's not sure how to sympathize with the murdered, or the victims and anyone related. Sometimes he treats the scenes and stories of real life murders as something exciting, sometimes sounding a bit too excited about it.
He's pretty impulsive at times. Once he saw someone with dyed hair and it looks cool so he actually dyed his hair too. Not entirely, but partially white. He doesn't mind it much, and doesn't think about it much either. It's fading and growing out since he doesn't treat it much though. Also he doesn't like the idea of being a bystander and often jumps "into" action. He once tried to stop an armed man by restraining him, but that only resulted in him getting shot and lost a LOT of blood. Thankfully he's still alive but he doesn't think much about that incident either.
EDIT: He's also really observant when he gets into it. He often jumps to assumptions though, but often the way he pieces information together ends up in points that is easily overlooked or neglected by others (including his aunt).
EDIT: Forgot to mention he has a license and drives. Usually eats while waiting for the lights to turn. His aunt disapproves of this.
Not sure if there's anything else I have to add. Sorry for rambling ahah-
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As for the OC with narcolepsy there's some magical elements at play, so I guess not a very "accurate" representation of it, but I was wondering if the time of sleep is something like normal sleep? When awake, do you feel sleepy if you don't get enough sleep from the "sleep attack"? Do you get restless from the lack / too much sleep??
Sorry if these are personal ahah-
Feel free to disregard some questions-
Sorry it's so lengthy!!
Thanks for your time!
Hello, I'm sorry for the ping! I wanted to ask you a few questions about DID if that's OK?
One of my OCs, Sakura, has DID. All her alters are listed under the relationships section if you'd like to give her a look! Her story pretty much revolves around her daily life and fighting yōkai. Not the heaviest plot, but more so her character was made to introduce people to DID, as something that's not just "oh DID is a Hyde and Jekyll situation".
Most of her aspects are based off the experience of an online acquaintance I no longer have contact with, unfortunately.
Each kitsunemimi is colour coded, but in reality they all look the same. I haven't uploaded Sakura's original form here haha.
I've actually gotten backlash for this character before since her alters aren't really... trauma related? Kira and Rui are somewhat based of uncontrolled emotions over trauma, though more so of Rui. Kira, not so much.
Though, given, Sakura does fear abandonment that is what formed Kira.
The story of Sakura and Kira was based off the Megaman Starforce character Pat (and Rey) Sprigs so I guess there's that uh.
Anyway, I was wondering if you could answer some of these questions?? If you feel they're too personal you're not in any way obligated to answer them-
- If an alter stop appearing, does it mean that they're no longer there? In the end of the story, one of her alters, Natsuki, stopped appearing. I'm not sure if an alter may chose to remain and simply not "appear"? Sakura never wishes that her alters would go though.
- How does a "switch" happen? For Kira her switches often takes place when Sakura is in physical or mental danger, and could simply take over by force. Could you wake up and just be another alter? When doing an activity and a "switch" occurs, does it take time for the one currently in control to stabilize?
- Can different alters sound differently? Not accent-wise, but pitch-wise. Since in the body they're bound to the voice box? Is it possible for an alter to be soprano and another an alto, for example?
- When an alter doesn't realise they're an alter, what makes them realise this eventually, if you have any experience in this?
I'm sorry for the rather lengthy paragraph. Thanks for your time!
as someone who used to have videogames in general as a special interest, i think that makes sense for him to like tv shows in general
also theres a huge variety of differences between individual autistic ppl (aspergers is a type of autism)
also special interests can be very specific or very general so it makes sense to have one for a specific trope of action scenes
Well, let me go over the one note about her alters and trauma before answering questions. From what i read on your character's bio, i wouldnt say its untrue that your character seems to lack some of the key elements that make DID happen, as in the trauma. In order for a person to have DID they must have gone through some ongoing, intensive trauma from age 5-9 (generally starting before age 5). It isnt to say that being abandoned in the way Sakura was cant form the disorder buuut there isnt a heavy focus on explaining her backstory as including repeated trauma that would cause it (would be glad to give examples related to what your OC has gone through, based on the info in her bio). Your story doesnt need to be about trauma, but this lacking fact wouldn't make me believe she has DID if I was told what is written there. Additionally, its not just one alter that has to form the moment that trauma does happen, rather its a slow movement into developing alters. DID isnt about breaking away from a default existing identity, its actually about the child's identity not being formed at the age (0-5 or up to 9, but do note 9 is researched as being the latest) where a child needs proper care, and thus never developing into one solid identity state- but rather multiple dissociated fragments of identity. This quote from traumadissociation.com describes this better than i can: "Early childhood trauma causes DID to develop by preventing the child from forming a cohesive or unified sense of self, known as a 'core personality' during their earliest years. Instead, the prolonged trauma causes the different "behavioral states" present from birth to become increasingly dissociated (disconnected) from each other; over time these develop into alternate identities (5-9 years). It is believed that developing multiple identities protects the child by keeping trauma memories and emotions contained with specific identities, rather than overwhelming the child completely".
I am not telling you this to say your character is bad and you should never write her again, btw...Just want to make that clear as i know its hard to communicate my tone when i am dumping serious information lol. Basically....think about what you could add to her backstory to give more depth to her. You have two routes on this: 1) you add more childhood trauma or events at her young age that would properly explain her DID, in addition to her abandonment/loss of the Kitsune to keep her alive or 2) you use the fantasy setting and explain away her "alters" as something else and it ends up not being DID at all so you dont need to worry about whether or not she fits the bill for the disorder.
I'd be ok in providing ideas as to what trauma could be written into her childhood but i wouldnt want to butt into what is ultimately your character and story :) i think you definitely have some good angles on this, like making sure her alters arent totally separate people be it in the form of massive physical appearance changes or literally being separate in special scenarios... Its important to know the boundary between the fantasy elements and the mental illness, which is why i mention a route where it just isnt DID. You either have a magical explanation to the condition that makes it not a disorder, or you work your story in a way to explaining properly how your character does actually have the disorder!
onto your questions though!
- Alters can stop appearing and is usually referred to as "dormant". they never truly go away though but it can be hard for the host to 'access' them even if they try. So an alter totally can go away for a while. Theres not always an obvious reason though most commonly it can be because they dont need to come out to deal with things or they cant personally handle the current events. Sometimes it may seem an alter is "gone" when in actuality they integrated with another alter. Should be said in this case, the integrated alter would be a whole new person.
- Switches generally happen due to triggers- something related to their past came up and the host cant handle it, so the alter who can comes out. Or if there is an ongoing stressful situation, an alter who can better handle stress comes out for a while. It would be for a moment or it could be for days. Its not common or really safe to have the host "force" alters to come out but alter themselves can certainly butt in and take their place. People can definitely just wake up as a different alter- its hard to explain why if your asleep, but even in your own brain little triggers of stress could make it happen! When in the middle of a task, i often find that im kinda "spaced out" for a moment before realizing whats in front of me. Or, im subconsciously still doing the task while not registering what is going on- motor/physical functions dont always just stop when i switch, they keep going, but i might not be super there mentally until i realize i switched!
- Alters can sound different- in your head they could have a totally different voice than you. In the real world, some people do emulate a voice like their alters (people can mimic different tones or accents and with enough practice, pitch as well) but some people do not. For me i may just have a slight difference in speed or pronunciation, but thats it! So yes, they can to an extent. Its all within your own limits and whether or not you have had expirience doing so. An alter can only do what the body is capable of, no matter what. For example: If no alter has ever trained in flexibility, the body has never been stretched, you will not be flexible- an alter couldnt front and just do all sorts of stretches and bend over backwards unless that Alter went and did that on their own time! Same goes with pitch in voice. Unless its easy to do already, theres have to be some level of repeated practice.
- I havent personally had the issue myself but I know maaaany people who have. When an alter isnt aware they are an alter, or part of a system, it is super hard for anyone to break through to them. One of the biggest issues is it creates a dissociative barrier (memory loss) between them and the system. They may front for who knows how long, leave, and have no idea. Other alters would struggle to communicate with them about things in order to stay on top of their lives, it would be a messy routine IRL for everyone. Its hard to say how to break them out of that and makes them realize- but generally this is what i see: other alters in the system are aware of this problem, then trying to communicate with the other alter in their head could be best. It may be very hard due to denial, but slow approaching is best, or having the aware alters write things in the real world for the other alter to see. If the person has support from a therapist or family, that also may be an outlet for help if those people already know the person has DID. Breaking down barriers for alters like that is a lot of work and a person may need support of a therapist, if said denial or dissociation is so strong due to trauma they are in denial about. I have seen many many people in their 40s-60s post in r/DID for the first time saying "I had no idea i had DID, just got diagnosed"....so it truly is amazing how unaware folk can be, often being told straight up by therapists who see it clear as day while they have NO idea.
i hope my writing helps to some extent? if you would rather PM me to continue a longer conversation about all this let me know!
lophiusdragon
Yeah the spectrum is really wide, but more than not I don't want to portray a character to be like "oh they act that way because they're autistic" or like "that doesn't seem like something someone with Aspergers would do". I'm not well versed with the topic so I struggle to try to keep the character... well, natural.
Thank you for your input those, I'll keep that in mind! I'm not well versed into TV tropes so I'll look into that!
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morrysillusion
I'll write you a DM!! Just give me some time ahah-
Thank you for the response!