had a player in one of my campaigns have a shitfit because he got told that misgendering someone else for the past month makes him look like an arsehole, everyone has their pronouns in their names, c'mon man. kick block ban that mofo, sad that his character is gone but he as a person was just. gross. and i wasn't going to take any more of that shit.
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Help
I'd prefer not to be contacted unless there is a huge concern about myself that I don't catch on to.
I don't feel as much enjoyment as I used to. It could be caused by undiagnosed anxiety. People stress me out quite a lot, especially my old friends. I struggle trying to make conversation with any of them and I can't function if there are more than 3 people involved. It started out to be like this is someone else's computer, but now everything starts to feel like it isn't my own anymore. The only thing that feels like I own is my character Delanei. I tried to talk to AI to try to brush up on my skills because I haven't texted anyone since the quarantine started. the boy that didn't do anything other than making me more anxious than ever. I can find I can join conversations in chatrooms with strangers but when It's one on one it's like hell. I often revise my words so many times to not come off as insensitive. It makes me feel really bad but I do not know what to really do.
My family is pushing me into different corners with my career choices and college and all this other stuff. I honestly do not know what I want to do anymore. I legit was pushed into doing things that I never really had an interest in, to begin with. Art, Animation, Computers. As much as I appreciate my skills I don't want it to be my job. It's because of this I gave up my passions for video making, playing video games, and essentially dropped every hobby I had because I had to conform to someone else's expectations. Sometimes I don't feel the drive is there anymore.
are you seriously really just gonna ruin someone's day like that. even on purpose you're fucking trash
i really hate when people criticize or point out the way i say things/my meaning of certain words like. swear words. for me, personally, i dont swear - sure there's some harsh words but theyre not outright swearing. it just feels wrong to do so, and yet some friends i know then tell me those words are swears to them, they dont care but its like. i dont view it as one. you view it as one. can we not have this discussion of what is/isn't a swear/curse. i'm so sick and tired of having to defend myself on things. or like saying "been" like "bean" not "bin".
im just sick of saying im into something and then either 2 things happen. 1 - someone will trivia grill/quiz me on things (i.e: when i would play piano at uni in public a couple of times for pure fun and it made me feel like a child) and 2 - theyll berate whatever im into, bring up every single point of something about it (like ffxiv) and just. take it down completely
im so tired of it . just shut up and leave me alone. dont beat me down for things
i hate this. I feel like i'm trapped in my head. I want to get out. I want to stop feeling like this. I want to be okay, and i don't want to worry about the possibility that people think i'm lying about my mental illness because i manage to stay positive around them. I don't want this. I don't want this and i wish i could feel literally any other way than this. i want to be good enough for myself. I wish i could say i say that i don't care about being good enough for everyone else but that would be a lie. I can't do anything but humiliate myself and hide in my room all day. I'm tired of being belittled by my entire family because i hide from them all the time. There's a reason i'm hiding, but no. You can't take a hint, you can't understand that you're the reason i am the way i am, funny, right?
i havent slept well in months because anxiety keeps me awake at night aw yeah we love a lack of sleep
Tired.
I think way too much (nothing bad, sometimes the old idea machine won't shut up when I'm trying to sleep.) finally get to sleep, get woken up an hour later by the dog wanting to go outside.
This wouldn't have happened if my wife wasn't justifiably afraid of letting out dog out because my awful neighbors literally have FIVE dogs they leave in their backyard 24/7 365, several of which snarl and growl rather viciously when they catch sight of my dog.
So in short I lost a couple hours of sleep last night because my neighbors shouldn't own animals.