A Collection of Impossibilities

Scenario: 

Kiron appeared on a pixie world and made a mess of the place. The pixies [eventually] managed to bring her down by impaling her with alight cannon. This gradually killed her. So, here's a death scene.

I can't feel the injury. I'm merely being informed of its existence and importance. I stumble forward because I can. Because continuing is always an option. Their whispers are my own thoughts- As my vision seems to fail me, Kahtyo acts as a guide. The wall nearby. My hand came to rest on it, using it as balance as I try to walk forward. My status as alive, though less than well, floats around. It informs us of the damage.

A light cannon to the gut. Practically impaled, but at least the wound was cauterized, so bleeding out isn't the problem. instead missing a pretty big chunk of a vital organ will be our downfall. Still, I keep walking. We no longer have a goal. A timer ticks down, precise. It foretells my end but tries to hide from me. The doing of Xroah.

Her hope is my hope. She drives me forward. Tells softly on the personal line that things will be alright.

Informs with sadness. Informs with lies, highlighted automatically by our being.

The information ceases. The timer vanished from my own knowledge. It feels that I am not injured and dying, aside from fatigue and my own knowledge.

As I cease to understand, I cease to walk forward. My observations of my welfare are now, truly, my own. I'm breathing heavily. I can barely feel my self- everything is just sort of numb. I know that I'm touching the wall. That I'm standing in the empty hallway of a pixie building. But only because Kahtyo is informing me.

We are met with conflict. Things split up.

Confusion. Why has Xroah forbidden this information? But we know the answer.

As her hope fades, our hope fades.

A conversation on the personal line opens up.

"We can continue." His voice sounds so very real. It always does, despite being in my head, and merely a result of clever programming. It isn't a genuine lie. It is the remnants of hope. His voice is usually a bit bland. He's so professional. Very brave. Confidence like no biological entity could be. Fueled by logic, lead on by the wish to understand the universe. He cares for us. Watches over us, keep us from harm in the worst of situations. He laughs in the face of probability, for however low the chances, he will try. The odds are always under his control, even when they aren't. That's just how we accept it to be.

Instead of words, images and emotions fill us. In front of me, I see Xroah standing just below my own height. The distance is off. I think. her image is just as "fake" as the words of Kahtyo. It's all in my head, and it's all programmed. Artificial, though not fake we always remind ourselves. The image does not physically exist. But it mentally exists. It still means something, despite the lies outsiders to the link spin.

She slightly shakes her head, holding back tears.

They're my tears.

We know we are going to die. They don't want to admit it. I don't want to admit it.

But collectively, we know.

I collapse onto the ground. No fault of theirs- they can only assist me so much.

I lose sight of much of the world. Kahtyo deemed it unnecessary to process the information. He tells us this. I'd like to think I'm smiling.

He always tells us what he's doing. Little reports. From the smallest task to the craziest calculation. We're always informed.

With no further grasp on reality, they can fill in the gaps.

Others would consider these fake. Not true. Once again, It's all in my head, all programmed, all artificial. Sure. It's not reality. But that does not mean that it is fake. They never seem to understand that.

I feel Xroah's hand grasp mine. It's supposed to be calming, though they make no attempt to alter my emotions. They could. I informed them that they could. But they don't seem to want to. Mention that it's not exactly fair, or something.

I don't think I'm listening quite right anymore.

"I'm so sorry..." Kahtyo whispers to me. I see his form sitting beside me. He's missing his shades, displaying his expression. He has lovely silver eyes. Maybe he's aware, and that's why he hides them.

"It's okay." I think I said back, with a smile.

"I should have done something..." Regret fills us. Fear, sorrow. It's a terrible mess. I think I feel memories fading. Or maybe flickering in the background. Perhaps both.

I think I shake my head slightly. "We know that you couldn't have." It was true. We knew it. Or...at least they knew it.

For anyone doubting their emotions, saying it's fake...this is a true example proving them wrong. Doubt in the face of a definite truth. So fuck you Rae and your shitty accusations.

Xroah seems to be beside me. She wasn't before. I don't question it. I don't think I can question it.

She's crying. Always so emotional, so loving. She also takes care of us. Sorts out the confusing world in an understanding way. She understands that existence is not definite. It's a crazy state of nonsensical adventure and agony. She is the mediator. Often the reminder of morals, the reminder that just because we can, we maybe shouldn't- and not because of numbers saying how bad of an idea it may be. She genuinely understands us, and others. Anyone who doubts her emotions needn't look further than here and now.

I am dying. A weak biological entity with countless flaws, yet countless graces. My death doesn't necessarily mean their death.

They lose their physical anchor. They lose a part of themselves. But they could still exist, carry on, and continue their lives. They have the drive to survive just as any biological being has, even if it is shrouded by bad times.

But they have made promises. They are not demands. Not necessary.

They are not bound by their programming to cease to exist when I die. They have merely vowed that part of our identity should not exist without the other. We have agreed to these terms. Is this not an act of emotion? It goes against logic in all ways, and It goes against self-preservation by choice, not force.It takes a genuine feeling to come to this conclusion, and so much willpower to exact this promise.

We do not doubt the existence of such will.

Their emotions are my emotions.

We fear the future. always running from it. Enjoying the present Now it has us cornered, and they must face it without me. We are apologetic. I do not want to leave them with such an action to perform. I inform that they don't have to do it.

They deny. Just as apologetic, with regrets from the past.

Something is slipping. We know it.

We half wonder what awaits us.

Probably oblivion. Kahtyo, so pessimistic.

We can never be so sure. Everything else gets recycled and reborn in the Universe. Perhaps even the universe itself.

Promising, optimistic, and factual. We still don't want to answer the question.

Their images blur. I try to ask why, but I don't think I actually got my thoughts across.

Xroah leans forward, as kindly as ever, and kisses my forehead.

It's not fake. It's never fake. I felt every moment.

There's a calm breeze. The sound of ocean waves.

"Eek! Water's a bit cold!" The childish voice of my artist friend calls out in surprise.

"Yeah, I sort of told you that." My more down to earth friend informs her, with a smile.

The landscape fills in. It's blurry.

A beach with sands white as sugar.It stretches out into the horizon, seemingly forever. The blue sky stretches on without a single cloud in the sky. The noonday sun warms me in a soft embrace. Not a building in sight.

I smile. They continue.

"Well? Come on! You too, there's nothing to be afraid of." She splashed water onto him.

"I know that...I'm just letting myself get used to the water is all."

"Exactly! you're taking too long! You both are! the water's great, and there's a bunch of fish swimming around."

"There are??" That seems to have gotten his attention, as he leaned forward and fell into the water.

They soon start laughing. I walk over, wanting to laugh too.

"Now we're all here. Maybe we can catch a fish. Wouldn't that be great?" She's so happy.

"They seem awfully fast though. We could still do it." He's so confident.

I join them, walking into the water, following them towards the rainbow colored fish.

The cold of the water mingles with the warmth of the sun.

The beach fades from view.