How To Kill A Necromancer

Despite the late night, Jase managed to wake up and get out of the house early enough to be on time for the first class. The students seemed to be enjoying Jase's efforts to make the lessons more interactive. Jase excused the class and collected some homework as the students left with the intention to head straight to his next lecture hall to grade them instead of making the detour to his office during his break.

"Grading sounds dull," Zendron groaned, "But I guess I'll do anything to keep you from your tea breaks."

"Hm, I can live with that." Jase smiled and locked the classroom. The halls were empty as the students had all gone into their next class. He lifted some of the papers, trying to sort them as he walked down the hall. He moved his arm the wrong way and the cut stung causing him to flinch and drop a few of the papers.

"My bad." Zendron snickered.

"I still have yet to get back at you for this." Jase reminded him.

Jase heard people talking and stopped, worried that they might have overheard him. The sound had come from the dean's office he had just passed by. They kept talking so he shook his head and continued picking the papers up, trying to sort them as he reclaimed the papers off the wooden floor.

“Who's that?"

“I don't know. Is this what you always do? Listen through doors on other people’s conversations?” Jase whispered.

"You never know- Hold on, they're talking about you again!"  Zendron realized.

Jase paused. He recognized Kieran's voice, talking to the school dean.

"Are you really okay with the way that Jase is teaching his classes now?" Kieran said, "I mean, first he leaves for so long with no prior notice or arrangement to have a substitute, then he comes back and starts disrupting the culture and respectability of the school!"

"Perhaps you're right. But why are you telling me this? Aren't you two friends?" the dean asked.

"I don't want to hear any more of this," Jase said quietly and continued on to pick up papers.

"Professionally, yes. But that's why I wanted you to hear it from me." Kieran continued, "I'm sure others would say much differently if you asked them, they wouldn't be honest because they feel it's not their place."

"Oh I'm sure THAT'S the reason," Zendron added snarkily.

"Hm... Well, I respect Jase as a person, but perhaps you are right." said the dean.

"My students could not focus in class today because of him. I just feel like he is such an irresponsible teacher." Kieran said.

“Hah! So he's jealous that now his students like you more than him"

Jase managed to get the last of the papers and shook his head. He got up and kept walking away from the offices. He got to his next classroom and unlocked it. Placing his papers on the podium, Jase sighed.

"Jase, don't try to stop me," Zendron said.

"What?"

Zendron took charge. He stepped out of the classroom and walked back towards the offices, this time passing the dean’s office and heading straight for Kieran’s. "I'm going to burn a bridge you should have burned ages ago," he whispered quietly as he leaned up against the wall and waited.

Eventually, Kieran finished his meeting with the dean and turned towards them. "Jase! It's been a while, I heard you came back!" Kieran said when he reached them, "Is everything alright? I thought we'd have talked a little more."

"Well, I've been busy," Zendron said sharply. “And I already tried to talk to you before, remember?” He turned to Kieran impatiently.

“Oh, right. Well… I suppose I was busy too.” Kieran stopped, "Are you alright? What's wrong with your hair? And your eyes?"

"An alchemical experiment gone wrong," Zendron responded hastily. He took a bit too long to pronounce 'alchemical', and hoped Kieran wouldn't notice.

"Okay?" Kieran continued, "Well did you know that there's a-"

"Alright cut the crap, Kieran."

"What?" Kieran was shocked.

"I know you don't really like me, so why keep pretending you do?" Zendron snapped at him.

"Zendron, what are you doing?" Jase asked, just as shocked as Kieran.

"What would give you that idea?" Kieran stammered, "Come on, Jase. We've been friends for ages."

"Really? Then you should be a little more careful about what you say to your other friends."

Kieran laughed nervously, "Oh, did they tell you something? Listen - I can explain. You see, I don't really mean those things, I just say them to hang around with them, and I know I shouldn't. Also, who told you? What did they say?"

Zendron crossed his arms, "It doesn't matter does it?"

"Look, anything that they told you I said, I didn't mean it."

"So you're telling me you're a two-faced liar? That shows me exactly the kind of person you are."

Kieran started to get angry, "Okay fine, you want to be this way over a rumor. Sure. I don't even know what you heard, but if you want to believe what someone else told you I was saying, then that’s your choice."

"I'm not the one being immature and gossiping behind people's backs. I have life-saving work to do, and an Elixir of life to complete. What do you even do here that's so important?" Zendron retorted.

"I -" Kieran stopped, "Oh, you're still working on that? Uh, how's that going?"

Zendron slammed his hand against the door, making Kieran jump. "Don't try to weasel yourself out of this by changing the subject. Why should I tell you anything?"

“I just- You’ve been all over the place lately, I hope you’re not over exerting yourself.”

“Don't pretend to be worried about me. If you really cared you would have listened to me when I told you about -this-” Zendron pointed to the bandage on his head. “You’re just an insecure, brown-nosing rat, who has your head shoved so far up your own ass that no one can see how two-faced you really are. Your only achievement in life is that you’ve managed to ruin a friendship with the one human alive who would be friends with anyone.”

Kieran stared at Zendron, mouth hanging open as if he were trying to come up with a rebuttal to Zendron’s cutting insults, until his expression shifted from shock back into anger.

"Alright, Jase. Fine." Kieran said angrily, "I never took you for the insolent type, but you’re going to regret insulting me." he turned, continuing quickly into his office.

"Zendron..." Jase didn't know what to say.

"That friendship ended long ago and you know it," Zendron said as he walked back. He opened the door to the classroom and gave up control back to Jase.

Jase went through his next two classes less enthusiastically than before. He and Zendron barely talked between the classes. The end of the day came, and Jase stepped outside.

A chilly breeze swept through the mountain, and Jase took a deep sigh.

"I'm okay now," Jase said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm... I'm not going to think too much about it." Jase continued home. When he arrived, Gadelynn was lying on the floor, playing with the two-headed bird. Thoravone blinked one eye open then continued sleeping in Jase’s armchair.

"Well, at least Gadelynn is staying occupied," Jase noted. He set his bag down next to the door, and let Zendron take over.

"I'm hungry. Do you have anything ready to eat?" Zendron asked.

"No. Why don't you make something?" Jase offered.

"Like what?"

"How about a stew?"

"I have no idea how to cook,"

"How do you not know?" Jase was surprised.

"I usually found some way around it." Zendron shrugged.

"Alright, well. First, you need to fill up a pot with some water."

Zendron started opening all the cupboards, looking for the pots.

"Right there. Take the left one, the other one I use for potions."

"Oh. Now I'm curious what would happen if I used that one," Zendron said, reaching for it.

"Do not! That is not a good idea. You could kill both of us."

"Ugh fine." Zendron grabbed the other and filled it with water. He set it next to the fire and snapped his fingers to light it.

"That's good, and very convenient. Throw some vegetables together in the pot -" Zendron did so before Jase could continue. "Okay... you probably should have cut those first... and washed them," Jase explained.

"Well, you should have said so," Zendron said, putting his hands on his hips.

"You aren't listening to me."

"I'm trying," Zendron said irritably. "What's next?"

"Oh well. Then add some salt- not that much!" Jase exclaimed after Zendron threw a handful in.

"You said "some"!" Zendron slammed one of the cupboards shut. "You have hundreds of books, how do you not have any sort of recipe book I can just follow?"

"I just eyeball it," Jase admitted.

"Well that's easy for you to say, you have a knack for this"

"How so?"

"You're an alchemist. Isn't it just like cooking?"

Jase laughed, "Oh, so that's where my cooking skills come from? Not the fact that I've been living on my own and cooking my own meals since I was sixteen?"

Zendron crossed his arms, "I'm going to call you old again, and this time it's going to be your fault."

"You're the one with white hair." Jase pointed out.

"Okay, first of all- It's silver. Secondly - the more I practice necromancy, the more likely your hair is going to turn white- Silver- too."

"Well, good to know. I'd really like to avoid that if possible." Jase noted, "For the record, NEVER make estimations in alchemy, it will only end in disaster."

Zendron took a ladle and tasted the stew. He spat it back out.

"This was a mistake."

"I think you did well."

"What? You like it?"

"No. It tastes awful. But you tried."

"Yeah well... I've lost my appetite," Zendron turned to Gadelynn, "Gadelynn, are you hungry?"

"I'm starving," she replied eagerly.

"Here, eat this." He set the pot down in front of her. She sat up and started viciously downing the muddy saltwater, raw vegetables crunching in her teeth.

"I thought she didn't need to eat."

"She doesn't. But she will still get hungry, and feeding her occasionally will avoid a lot of problems later." Zendron explained. "The undead can be... difficult to manage when they're hungry. Besides, it seems a waste to throw it away."

"Interesting. That seems to be your view on dead bodies too."

"I like to recycle, it's good for the environment," Zendron said sarcastically.

Jase laughed.