Strangely Empty

"It would be a nice night for a walk, don't you think?"

Arche's tone was kind, and inviting- and for the first time in a long time, he seemed happy. The war was over, he found one of his children had survived. He was in a good mood today.

I nodded, glancing back to him as we stood on a pier overlooking the sea. The air smelled of salt and algae, and he began to walk towards the beach.

"Come on, then- don't make me walk alone," He joked lightheartedly. I sighed, but smiled, following along behind him.

"I'll humor you," I murmured. We walked side by side, like we used to, when we were young.

We were much more stern now, having been hardened by the tides of war. We both suffered, although in different ways- but I know that he's thankful that I didn't have to experience what he went through.

Him and I walked silently for awhile, along the side of the beach, the tide low as it washed against the sand softly. The sky was a deep violet color, as the sun had vanished into the horizon only moments earlier. He pointed out a star as it emerged through the darkness.

"That's the handle of the 'big dipper', so our ancestors called it. Supposedly it looks like kitchenware from their time." I nodded, looking up.

"You're quite a romantic, aren't you?" He chuckled.

"Please. After the last two years, there's nothing romantic about either of us." I looked back over to Arche, nudging him gently.

"Speak for yourself! Once people find out that I got shot, they'll think I'm a bad boy. That always gets the ladies." My friend snorted and laughed.

"Hah- For sure. Speaking of, how's that healing up?" I shrugged.

"As well as it can, for now. The scars are sure to be ugly," I admit. Arche pat me on the shoulder.

"Tell me about it. But scars show some sort of strength, really. A way of showing that you survived." I scoffed.

"You always make everything so poetic. My bullet wounds aren't a metaphor," I teased. He shrugged.

"And you always ruin everything with realism. Would it kill you to indulge me once in awhile?" I nodded.

"Maybe." We both chuckled, as we continued to walk along the sand, going silent for a bit longer. The waves weren't loud, but were a soft, ambient noise that made its way to our ears every other second.

The moon reflected onto the waves, as we went along. A few other people were around the beach, not paying much mind to us as we walked. Arche paused for a moment, and stopped, looking over to me.

"... It's very nostalgic, isn't it?" I raised my eyebrow.

"What is?"

"Us- walking together, on the beach like this. It's been a long time." I shrugged.

"Well, yes, it has. But I don't see any significance in it." My friend had a hurt look on his face.

"No? None at all?" I shook my head.

"Arche- I know what you're getting at. Things are... Different, now, between you and I. Between everyone, and the world. We've changed." He looked towards the moon.

"You were never any fun with this kind of thing." I rolled my eyes.

"It's the truth. You're my friend- I still care about you- but things will never go back to the way that they were. We're too different now." Arche sighed.

"Even so, I'd like to think that our feelings are still mutual." I looked down at the sand.

"... Right."

"So, are they?" He paused, turning to me. I looked back up at him.

"Arche... I don't know. I haven't had any feelings in a long time." He nodded, slowly. He sat down on the sand, and I joined him.

"Tell me- if this had all gone differently, and the war had never happened- would you feel different?" I sighed.

"I can't say. I'd like to imagine that we- all of us- would be happier. But we wouldn't be free." My friend set his arms over his legs, looking out into the distance.

"Well, you aren't wrong about that last part. Orion, I..." He paused.

"... I don't know who I am anymore. I don't think that I've been myself for a long time." I looked to him.

"Then we feel the same." He nodded.

"I suppose we do. What now, that we've changed? We can't go back to normalcy. Not after... All of this."  I shrugged, and looked towards the sea.

"We move on, Arche. We have to. You're still holding on to things we did when we were young- when we were practically children." He didn't look towards me. He just stared at the moon.

"They're memories that I want to keep. They... They mean the world to me." I paused, looking back over to him- he avoided eye contact.

"You still remember prom, don't you?" He chuckled.

"Yes, of course I do. It was amazing." I huffed.

"It was terrible. People kept staring at us- and the punch was spiked with whatever the hell-" He laughed.

"That was the best part! Come on, don't act like you hated every part of it- you were so happy dancing. We were both happy." I smiled, remembering the night.

"It was the only decent part," I lied. My friend chuckled.

"You're smiling while thinking about it. You're a terrible liar." I shrugged.

"One good thing out of a bad situation doesn't rectify the whole thing. Just because you and I had a bit of fun doesn't mean it was a good time." Arche shook his head.

"Do you hear yourself? It was a great time! Remember when Debbie won prom queen, and you were prom king?" I huffed.

"That was horrible- I can't believe that people voted for me as a joke."

"Why would it be a joke? You were helpful- and nice- and overall a good sport. Just because you're anxious doesn't mean everyone's always against you," He teased.

"Oh, please. They all threw shit at me." Arche shrugged.

"Yes, but it was food! And good food, at that! I watched you catch one of those cupcakes and eat it!" I rolled my eyes.

"I was hungry."

"You were having fun, Orion. I haven't seen you that happy ever since."

I fell silent, and Arche looked at me expectantly. I sighed.

"I... I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time. I love Sirius; I love being a father, but..." He nodded.

"I know how you feel. We both became parents way too young," He murmured, resting his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at the waves.

"I wish it had gone differently, somehow. All of it, after high school. I wish I had never got with that woman, I wish I hadn't become a scientist-" He nodded.

"I wish I had become an artist, somehow. Maybe even a poet. Anything other than what I am now," He admit. I nodded.

"... Yeah. Me too. But, at least we made the world a better place... Maybe." We both chuckled, and fell quiet. We both looked at the waves for a long time, watching as they washed against the sand. The sky was a dark blue now, bordering on black. Stars illuminated the sky like candles in a cabin, shining and flickering with a gentle intensity. It was hard to describe. Arche could make a better analogy than I could; he was always good at that.

"I ... I find moonlit nights strangely empty." I looked over to him, and he continued.

"... When I call your name through them, there's never an answer." I sighed.

"That's a bit melodramatic, don't you think?" He shrugged.

"It's the truth, Orion." He stood up, and began to walk away from the beach. I followed, as he made his way back to his car.

"Listen, Arche..." He looked back to me, with a glimmer of hope in his eye. I looked away.

"... You have to let go. Of me; of your children; of April. We're all gone. It's over." The moon shined in his eye as his expression sobered, and he got into his small beetle.

"I'll see you during the trial," He murmured, before starting his car and backing up and away.

We were so close; but I felt so far away from him now. I huffed, watching him drive away while I lit a cigarette.

Somehow it enhanced my view of the stars.