blood and sulfur

“Claire, move!”  

Lisa’s words reverberated inside her skull as she was promptly shoved to the ground—as she stuck out her arms and dug her palms into the scratchy cement to break her fall. The friction was enough to leave abrasions on her skin, and Claire let out a pained hiss as she pushed herself onto her knees to stare at her bloodied hands. Everything had happened so quickly. Robert had pointed a gun at her, had pulled the trigger, and then… 

The crackle of gunfire tore through the air like lightning.  

Lisa.  

Everything felt like a strange fever dream. Claire continued to stare at her bloodied palms before her gaze shifted to the ongoing commotion on the harbor. Robert was lying limp in a puddle of his own blood, his body lifeless, blood seeping out of his fragmented skull like a secret.    

And then her wandering gaze settled on Lisa—on the surprised look that seemed to be etched onto the woman’s usually stoic features. Reading Lisa used to be a challenging task, but at this point, Claire knew her well enough to know what each little furrow of her eyebrows indicated, to know how she was feeling despite her often ambiguous expressions.  

Right now, Lisa looked a little like a deer-in-headlights.  

Both women locked eyes, and for a terrifying moment, it felt as if time had come to a standstill. Claire was an ace at solving problems and reading rooms, but at that point, the severity of the situation had yet to become clear. In fact, for a moment, it seemed as if their entire team had managed to make it through the encounter unscathed.  

And then Lisa lurched forward, and Claire realized that something was terribly wrong, that she’d merely been blinded by denial and wishful thinking. Claire’s gaze trailed lower, and she realized Lisa was clasping at her abdomen. Even from a distance, Claire became painfully aware of the blooming bloodstains seeping into the dark fabric of her friend’s shirt.  

Lisa was hurt. Lisa had taken a bullet for her.  

The fear was instant, and Claire’s heart hammered against her ribcage like a frightened canary. She locked eyes with Lisa once more, and a moment later, the latter’s knees buckled beneath her weight. Claire watched in stunned silence as the strongest person she knew collapsed to the ground. It was almost like watching a stringless marionette tumble into a heap over its own limbs.  

“Lisa!” Claire let out a primal, heart-wrenching scream as panic washed over her like a wave. Claire didn’t waste a second. The young woman pushed herself off the ground and began scrambling toward her best friend’s prone form. She could hear Tyler and Abby yelling but couldn’t make out the words—their voices nothing more than white noise in the background. “Lisa!” She cried out again as she knelt by the woman’s side, as she gently lifted Lisa’s hands off her abdomen so she could examine the wound and the extent of the injury.  

There was a lot of blood.  

Claire could tell immediately by the way the dark fabric clung to Lisa’s skin, by the way color seemed to drain from Lisa’s face at an alarming rate. The smell of sulfur and blood enveloped the harbor, and as Claire stared down at the puddle of crimson building up beneath her friend, her entire world started to come crashing down.  

Lisa wasn’t supposed to lose that much blood.  

Immediately, Claire began to press both of her hands down against Lisa’s wound. She winced when she noticed Lisa gritting her teeth in pained silence. Her friend had always been good at masking her pain (even in front of Claire), but now, she couldn’t hide the soft, pained groans that spilled past her lips the moment Claire applied pressure on her wound.  

“Lisa,” Claire called out again, unshed tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. “Listen, you’re… you’re going to be okay. Um, Abby, she’s calling an ambulance right now. They’re going to be here soon.” Claire was starting to ramble through her tears. “They’ll be here really, really soon.”  

Claire had never been the best at putting on a brave face. “Hey, hey,” her words were soft and shaky, and it was clear Claire was teetering on the verge of panic. “Lisa, you can’t close your eyes, okay? You have to stay awake for me. Please, just until help comes.”  

She didn’t even notice when Tyler knelt down across from her, only noting his presence when he pressed his thick jacket over Claire’s shaky hands—a last ditch attempt to stop the bleeding.  

Lisa had barely moved an inch since Claire had rushed to her side, and the latter was keenly aware of the way her friend seemed to slowly slip in and out of consciousness. She noticed the way Lisa’s head began to droop to the side, the way she struggled to keep her eyes open, the way her skin was cool and clammy to the touch. Most troubling of all, her breathing was growing shallow, a telltale indicator that Lisa was losing too much blood and slowly going into shock.  

“Remember when we played that game?” Claire whispered, clearly grasping at straws. 

“Mmm, what do you mean?” Lisa’s voice was much softer than usual, barely a ghost of a whisper. “What game?” Even while bleeding out, she tried to downplay just how badly she was hurt.  

“I-I’ll give you a word, and you’ll translate it into Spanish for me.” 

Lisa chuckled softly at Claire’s suggestion, but the brief laughter quickly morphed into a wet, sputtering cough that made her wince in pain. Everything hurt, and each time Lisa tried to hide the severity of her injuries, it became clearer and clearer that the wound was fatal.  

“It’s not funny, Lisa.” Claire sobbed. “You have to stay awake for me.”  

“Claire…” 

Lisa’s voice had weakened considerably, and Claire felt like if she didn’t lean in—if she didn’t keep Lisa talking, her friend would slowly drift off to sleep and never wake up. It was a thought that chilled her to her core, and as she kept her hands pressed against Lisa’s wound, it felt as if a part of Claire was dying too.  

“Claire,” Lisa repeated again, intent on getting her friend’s attention. “I need...” She spoke in soft, fragmented sentences that made it seem as if every word weighed down on her greatly, as if every word hurt. “I need to tell you something. It’s… important, really important.”  

Claire continued to apply pressure against Lisa’s wound. She was supposed to stay strong for Lisa, but instead she was bawling like a baby and crying her eyes out like she always did. Claire hated it because just for once, she wished she could be Lisa’s rock. “Lisa, it can wait. Just take deep breaths, okay? Focus on me. Stay with me.”  

“It can’t wait,” Lisa mumbled, as quiet as a mouse.  

The way she said it—full of finality—made Claire begin to blubber. What did she mean it couldn’t wait? Surely things couldn’t end like this. Surely help would arrive in time to save Lisa.  

Lisa winced, and with much effort, reached up to cup Claire’s cheek in the palm of her bloodied hand. Lisa’s blood felt warm against Claire’s skin, but right now, none of that mattered. 

Claire reached up and gently cupped Lisa’s larger hand in her own.  

The words Lisa uttered made her blood run cold: “Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”  

Claire sobbed as she continued to press down on Lisa’s wound—as she continued to hold her friend’s cold and clammy hand in her much warmer and smaller one. “Please… please don’t die.” 

Lisa closed her eyes.  

“Lisa,” Claire cried out desperately as she felt her friend’s hand go slack in her own. “Lisa, you can’t. You can’t do this… you can’t just, you can’t die.” The panic from earlier swelled into a tidal wave that threatened to drown her. “Please.” It was the last word Claire managed to blubber out before she realized she could no longer see or feel the steady rise and fall of Lisa’s chest. 

Lisa was no longer breathing… 

At that moment, the cruel reality of what had happened—of witnessing the woman she loved more than life itself die in front of her—came crashing down on Claire’s shoulders.  

Hesitantly, Claire reached for Lisa’s neck to check for a pulse. Her heart shattered into a thousand mismatched pieces when she felt nothing, and a wave of sadness (unlike anything Claire had felt before) grabbed her by the throat. Suddenly, it was getting harder and harder to breathe.  

Strangled, animal-like sobs spilled past her lips as she wrapped her arms around Lisa’s prone form—as she cradled the unresponsive body in her lap and wept. Claire screamed and cried until her throat burned, until the edges of reality seemed to twist, turn, and fold inward.  

Nothing would ever be okay again.  

- 

Claire felt like she was drowning—felt as if she’d spent far too much time underwater and was resurfacing for the first time. She shot up like a bullet, gasping for breath as panic washed over her in waves, as the all too familiar pangs of a budding panic attack dug its claws into her.  

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe and she was having a heart attack.  

It took a few deep breaths to realize she was in the safety of her room, and that everything that had happened prior had been nothing more than a dream… just a shitty dream.  

Claire immediately brought her trembling hands to her face and pressed her palms over her teary eyes. The young woman should have felt relieved, but instead, she found herself trying (but failing) to hold back tears. She began to sniffle, and it was like a dam had burst open. Claire’s lithe frame shook as she failed to suppress her sobs. Ever since that day at the harbor, she’d slept poorly—plagued by a plethora of awful dreams that kept her jolting awake in the middle of the night.  

She just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. 

Lisa (who was a much lighter sleeper than Claire) sat up, and even though it was clear she was still half-asleep, one look at Claire’s shivering form and tear-streaked face was enough to wake her up fully. “Claire?” The concern in Lisa’s voice was palpable. “What’s wrong?” 

She continued to sob into her hands until Lisa wrapped her arms around Claire’s shivering form and pulled her into a tight embrace. After that, Claire blubbered into Lisa’s shirt instead—sobbed quietly into the hollow of the taller woman’s neck. Her entire frame trembled as she cried.  

It always pained Lisa to see Claire in such a state, so she held onto her just a little bit tighter. “Shhhh, you’re safe.” Lisa whispered gently. “It’s just a nightmare.” 

“I dreamt you were dead.” Claire struggled to explain through her tears, and it took a few moments of silently weeping into Lisa’s shirt before she could continue. “We couldn’t save you.”  

Lisa rested her chin against the top of Claire’s head, tightened her grip around her friend’s shivering frame. “You saved me,” she reassured. “You saved me and I’m here. Robert is dead, and I won’t ever let anyone hurt you.”  

“I’m sorry,” Claire whispered.  

Lisa arched her eyebrows in both confusion and worry.  

“I’m sorry for being such a baby all the time,” Claire continued.   

“You’re not being a baby. Besides, I’m glad you asked me to sleep over.” The thought of letting Claire wrestle with her inner demons by herself just didn’t sit right with Lisa. It was better this way, better that she was here to help.  

Claire let out several soft little hiccups, before finally, she stilled in Lisa’s arms. “I thought I lost you. I thought I lost you and I’d never see you again.” 

“It’ll take more than that to take me out, Claire.” Lisa chuckled softly into the other woman’s hair, obviously trying to lighten the mood even a little. “You of all people should know that by now.” Lisa ran her fingers through Claire’s hair and placed a gentle, almost feather-soft kiss on her best friend’s forehead. “Like I said, I’m still here and I won’t let anyone hurt you.”  

It felt silly, but the reassurance made Claire sniffle anyway. “I’m sorry.” 

“What did I say about apologizing?” 

“I’m getting snot all over your shirt.”  

Lisa didn’t care. Gently, she pulled Claire up against her chest and began to lie back on the mattress—Claire draped over her body like a clingy cat, her arms wrapped firmly around the shorter woman’s waist. “You should get some rest. You haven’t been sleeping well.”  

Claire’s breathing had slowed down significantly, and while her nose was still stuffy from crying, being wrapped up in Lisa’s arms (knowing Lisa was safe with her) allowed the jumpy detective to relax, allowed her eyelids to droop just a little. It felt like she was always tired these days. It felt like she could never get enough sleep.  

There was a moment of silence before Lisa began to hum the tune to one of her favorite songs. Claire recognized it instantly, and through her tears, couldn’t stop the faintest of smiles from tugging at the corners of her lips: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… 

Even during the bleakest of nights, Lisa always had a knack for making Claire smile.