Motherly Instincts

It was four days after Flora got her first real job that Marissa found herself feeling... strangely disconnected.

She would have liked to accompany Flora to work, to keep her safe, but the girl – young lady now, actually – had insisted that the presence of her Guardian would only distract her. She was determined to make a good impression at her first job, and having a small, invisible-to-everyone-else angel on her shoulder might make that difficult.

So Marissa had been forced to stay at home.

She didn't actually stay at home, of course. She'd taken the opportunity to fly back to the angel city of Nova and visit her old friends who she hadn't seen in years. Sadly, most of them hadn't been very pleased to see her. In fact, they'd told her to hurry up and get back to Earth in case Flora ended up in trouble.

After this, she had resigned herself to grumpily waiting in Flora's parents' house while her charge was at work.

Lazarus, who had also been forbidden to follow Flora, had no such qualms about disappearing. Marissa wasn't sure where he was going every day – back to visit the Underworld, perhaps – but he certainly didn't feel obligated to sit around and wait for Flora's return.

One lazy Tuesday afternoon, Marissa was taking a nap on the kitchen counter when something came crashing through the open window a few feet away. Heart pounding from shock, she cautiously flew to the windowsill to investigate.

'...Lazarus?'

'Go away,' came the devil's muffled reply. He was lying face-down, his wings sprawled messily over his back.

Marissa poked him. 'What's going on?' she huffed. 'Got trapped in a fisherman's net again?' He didn't answer. 'Lazarus, I don't care about you, but Flora will kill me if something bad happens to you and I don't try my hardest to fix it. So please, tell me what's wrong.'

A moment passed... then Lazarus leapt to his feet. She stepped back in alarm, but not because of his sudden movement. His whole frame was trembling as if he were freezing, and there were visible tear tracks on his face.

'I don't even know why I did it!' he exclaimed. 'I don't even know why I bothered going back!'

Marissa stood there stupidly, not knowing how to respond. 'What?'

'I should've known that nobody back home would want to see me,' Lazarus continued, his voice thick. 'I was stupid. I went back to the Underworld, thinking my old friends would be glad to see me... they just laughed. Thought I was a stupid wimp for hanging out with you and Flora. I was nothing but a disappointment to them. They just... they just laughed...'

He suddenly spun around, towards the window, and his wings jerked open. Fearing that he'd kill himself if he tried to fly in this state, Marissa lunged forwards and grabbed his arm.

'No! I – I don't really know much about your society, but I know they were wrong to talk to you like that. Being with me and Flora hasn't made you a bad person. If anything, you're better than them because you've learned to throw off the shackles of tradition and become something new!'

She was speaking without thinking, desperate to keep him from flying away before he'd had a chance to calm down. Flora would never forgive her if she allowed Lazarus to get seriously hurt under her watch. She valued the devil's presence as much as she valued Marissa herself.

'Of course they don't like what you did. That's because they live in a society where humans and angels are seen as outsiders – forbidden. But you know better. You know it's OK to hang out with people like us. You've never had any qualms about it before, so why start now?'

Lazarus had kept his back to her the whole time she spoke, his body still trembling violently. While she fumbled for something better to say, he abruptly spun around and threw himself at her. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her shoulder.

Marissa was utterly shocked. Never in their twelve years of working together had she seen Lazarus behave like this. The snarky, crude-mannered devil was gone, replaced by someone young and innocent and vulnerable.

She didn't like him, but right now, everything about him was triggering her motherly instincts. He desperately needed comfort.

With barely any hesitation, she put her arms around him and held him close, gently rocking back and forth. His breath hitched and then came out in a shuddering exhalation. She could tell that he was trying not to cry, and wondered if she'd be able to cope with Lazarus crying on her on top of everything else.

There's so much more to him than meets the eye, she realised. How had she not known, in twelve years, that Lazarus was capable of this level of emotion? Had he just never displayed it before or had she been stupid not to notice it? Had she been cruel to dismiss him as nothing more than a bad-mannered beast – as cruel as those devils who'd mocked him?

'There, there, dear,' she said soothingly, patting him on the back. She had absolutely no idea what to do, except try her best. That was what she usually did when bad things happened, wasn't it? She tried her best, and even if she failed, it didn't matter. As long as she tried, everything else was forgiven.

She didn't know how long she stood there and held him; time was moving in strange ways. But eventually, the front door opened and she heard Flora's voice calling her name. Softly, questioningly.

Lazarus went rigid, and without a word he pulled out of her arms and darted out the window. She was worried for a moment, but then realised he probably didn't want Flora to know about this. What would the young lady think?

Marissa wasn't sure what she thought, either.