Ghost Presence

It has been three days since the world turned upside-down.

He’s still struggling to understand why, why something like this would ever happen – he’s read a lot of books where the hero has to go through something hard in order to become a stronger person, so maybe that’s why? Is this all just a big obstacle designed to test them?

He tries to comfort his mother with such words, but they have little effect besides making her hug him tighter. Whenever she does this, it feels like she’s frantically trying to keep him from slipping away. He wants to tell her that he’s not going to disappear like Dad, but the words don’t come out. Mum does her best to stay strong, focusing on caring for him and his little sister. She throws herself into mundane tasks like cooking dinner and making beds as though doing them will make everything normal again.

‘Frederick?’ a soft voice interrupts his musings. He flips over to see Juliet in her bed across the room, a sliver of light covering half her face while the rest lies under darkness. ‘Where is Daddy?’

She’s been asking this question at least twice a day. Every time, it makes tears well up in their mother’s eyes, but she’s not around to hear it now. Frederick considers it carefully before making his response.

‘I think he’s gone to do something big and important,’ he says, making it sound like some kind of conspiracy theory.

Juliet’s eyes widen. ‘What is he doing?’ he whispers.

‘I don’t know, but when he comes back, he’ll tell us.’

‘Will it be a scary story?’

‘Maybe. But I think it will also be an exciting story. Maybe he’s being a hero.’

Juliet has become so immersed in this thrilling idea that she smiles for the first time in three days and promptly forgets all her troubles. ‘I bet he’s fighting evil monsters!’

‘Or rescuing people.’

‘Or… or finding magic gemstones!’

‘Or exploring a big dark cave.’

‘Or falling in love with a princess!’

Fred pauses to consider this, wondering if he should point out that Dad is happily in love with Mum, then decides not to ruin Juliet’s immersion. ‘Whatever he’s doing, I bet it’s going to be a good story.’

Juliet snuggles into bed with her green plush dragon pulled close, and Fred sees her fall asleep easily again. He wishes that he could drift off just like that. Instead he lies there, gazing at the ceiling and thinking about what his father might be doing right now.

Wild stories to reassure Juliet aside, he truly believes that his father wouldn’t vanish like this for no good reason. Fred knows that he’ll come back as soon as he’s able to, and he’d better explain himself when he does.

The next day, the police come to their house to inform Janet that they have no idea where her husband is. They assure her that they’ll keep looking, doing everything they can to track him down, but it isn’t long before their attitudes turn sour and they begin to imply things that make Janet yell at them in fury. They suggest that maybe Armin ran off with another woman. They suggest that he’s been planning this for ages.

Fred listens to his mother roaring at the policemen, telling them they’re useless, good for nothing, and don’t they dare make such implications about her family again. Once the door slams and quiet falls, he momentarily hesitates, but upon hearing her quiet sobs through the house, he goes to her. She wraps him in a tight hug and tells him that she’s scared Dad will never come back. It’s the first time she has admitted this; before, she always tried to be a pillar of strength for her children. Fred isn’t sure what to do. He isn't very good at this physical comfort thing, but he hugs her anyway. After a few minutes, Janet seemingly pulls herself together, wipes her eyes and goes to the kitchen to make food.

Fred’s thoughts turn again and again to his father and what could have possibly made him disappear so suddenly, without even telling Mum. He’s beginning to realise that it might be something bad. Maybe his father didn’t have a choice. Maybe someone or something made him disappear.

He wishes he wasn’t a little kid. If he was grown-up, then he could actually go out and find his father – he would succeed where the police have failed. But he can’t do that. All he can do is stay here with his mother and sister. They need help, and he’s the only one who isn’t crying. He guesses it’s his job to look after them now that Dad is gone.

But he never stops thinking.