Interstellar Wanderlust

No Iinowaen in their right mind ever considers leaving the planet. In comparison to our neighboring species, the Xibagantans, we were stuck in our ways, believing we were the superiors. Anyone who thought outside of the box was often disposed of. After nineteen years of living in the main city, that fact had been drilled into my skull, and like anyone who had similar issues to mine, I lived most of my life in the background.

Throughout grade school, I looked at those in my age group and while I wished to be part of their cliques and stay out late, smoking under bridges and running through Central Command’s massive alleyways, I knew what was safer.

Being alone.

However, I was never necessarily lonely. I enjoyed spectating—laughing quietly at other people’s jokes, listening in on whatever insane anecdotes they shared at lunch—I had no problem with it. It was easier than trying to fit where I didn’t belong.

I lived in the southernmost district of the city, even past the capital, Sequoia. Despite the makeshift continent holding much of the population, some Iinowaens lived elsewhere. Across the ocean, or at least north, there was an array of farmlands, and even further, the Tundra. While most of these areas were largely uninhabited, if anyone wanted to leave the city, that was their destination, primarily for vacation.

No one would ever scrounge up their life savings just for a spacecraft ticket to visit our neighboring planet. Not to mention the forms and investigations one would have to go through.

However, I lived right by one of the city’s exits, specifically Rybek. My father constantly traveled in and out of Central Command, so I had been able to see life past the same hundred concrete buildings, not that Rybek was any better, being primarily industrial.

Throughout my life, my dad had hopped around careers down there, and after enough promotions, he became an overseer for one of the biggest factories on the continent.

While that meant more spending money for us, I didn’t care—I just enjoyed being able to run free. Technically I wasn’t supposed to be involved in work travel, but since my mom had never been around, I had no choice.

We would visit every season, though it quickly got old, and I became one of those abnormal Iinowaens who just wanted to get out.

It’s believed on that planet that if your childhood sucks, your adulthood won’t be any better, for if there was something about you that stuck out as a kid, it will be more apparent once you’re older.

I knew if I didn’t get a move on, I’d be dead by the time I was twenty.

I had one year left, and surprisingly, I was right on schedule.

As my phone alarm frantically buzzed in the darkness, I knocked it off my night table. Following my mishap in turning it off was a giant thud that seemingly echoed through my whole bedroom.

At the sound, the boy beside me flinched, and his cyan antennae lit up a little, though he was still under the covers.

“Hiro, it’s time to go,” I muttered, shaking him softly, though I was only met with a groan.

I pulled the sheets back and locked onto his tired eyes, and he whined louder.

“Hey, it’s cold,” He sighed.

I laughed softly, climbing out of bed and digging around for my bags. “Well duh, it’s barely Spring. It’s still getting down to the thirties at night.”

The boy flicked on the light, watching me get dressed as the bulb grew progressively brighter after a few seconds.

“What time is it?”

I glanced out the window and back at my phone by my foot. “It’s nearing three.”

“Eugh.”

I chuckled at his response. “I told you we shouldn’t have watched that movie. I can still function on six hours of sleep, you on the other hand…”

I watched as Hiro dragged himself out of bed, only for his vertigo to hit, causing him to collapse back onto the mattress.

I smirked, though he brushed me away, chuckling. “Don’t laugh.”

I tossed him his hot pink hoodie that matched my hair, even though he had always claimed that wasn’t why he liked it so much. We had already fallen asleep in our jumpsuits, which were also makeshift spacesuits, according to the government. It was the comfiest space suit I'd ever seen, so I never bothered to research how they let us breathe in space.

Despite the likelihood of finding another Iinowaen with my mindset, Hiro wanted to book it out of here too.

I had met him during one of the winters when my family left Central Command. Hiro lived in one of the small towns down there, and we became friends in the short week I’d been staying there. We were only eight back then, and I assumed I’d never see him again, so on the last day before our drive back, I told him as such.

He got upset, though I, already used to being alone, wasn’t too pressed. He was cute, but he was clingy, and I didn’t wanna get too attached. We seemingly shared the same ideals at the time, but I figured they were just a phase for the both of us.

Dreaming of tomorrow’s future, living free from the Commander, conquering new lands—anything.

I thought his idea of leaving was a joke. I assumed he was only agreeing with me so we’d have something in common, and then, in my last few years of high school, our trips to Rybek weren’t much of a vacation anymore.

Years prior, my father had purchased a lake house, dubbing it our “vacation home,” even though I spent most of my time wandering the estate alone. Even if he didn’t have the night shift, the man was always working late.

Something with his company went awry when I was around fourteen, and  I had to temporarily enroll in school over there while he worked with his colleagues to resolve the surplus of issues. A few months turned into a year, a year turned into two, and eventually, my diploma was tagged Cadmium, Rybek, as opposed to my hometown in Central Command.

However, it wasn’t all bad because that was when I ran into Hiro again.

We’d be going to the same school.

Despite several years having passed, he was the same.

Same cyan bedhead, still scatterbrained, hyper, and holding onto the same dreams from when he was eight. Against all better judgment, I was convinced he was Xibagantan or at least a hybrid due to his positive outlook on life, but alas, he was just like me.

An Irregular—desperate for asylum—looking to start over.

I was convinced he had been copying me, but he was still his own person. Hell, he was practically my doppelganger, only with a bigger smile.

I threw on a dress shirt over my turtleneck, along with a beige sweater. I smiled out the window as Hiro got dressed beside me and organized our belongings. He tied up his hair, which he’d seemingly never cut since I first met him.

He was so happy to see me that day.

I figured my existence would’ve left his mind quickly after that first week, and then I saw him in the halls during homeroom. Despite being a year younger than me, he was way taller, so his tackling me to the floor with a hug was more painful than it should’ve been.

On reflex, I punched him, but then he just laughed even harder, sobbing.

Thank God the halls were empty cuz I started crying too.

The cyan alien quietly lugged our suitcases down to the kitchen as I was tasked with filling and transporting the cooler.

We had finalized a plan to leave Iinowae before we even graduated high school and had been polishing it up until now.

We would sleep at my place the night before so I could snatch my dad’s travel pass just in case we got caught. Despite Hiro’s wholesome nature, he was great at lying and, if need be, would be tasked with coming up with excuses.

I had been on Rybek for so long now that I knew the surrounding area like the back of my hand. And while my dad owned a factory and cared only for his work, Hiro’s parents worked in transportation, technically.

His mom was a pilot, and his dad was quite literally a rocket scientist. Though, in comparison to my family, his parents at least treated him like he was worth a damn. I might as well have been raising myself all these years, even though it was my father’s money that kept me alive regarding food, clothes, and shelter.

I had told Hiro countless times that he didn’t need to join me. I didn’t need a co-pilot—I didn’t want him to get in trouble and most likely executed because of me. To me, he had a life worth living. Sure, he was gay, but he had good grades, a good family, and achievable dreams aside from leaving the planet.

I didn’t even have that.

But that was the thing about Hiro—he didn’t care about any of that. For some God-awful reason, he just wanted me, but it made me feel good. So good that no matter where we were—Iinowae, Xibagantu, Earth—I’d be happy if we were together.

After all, he was my first friend, my biggest fan, and the finest boyfriend.

Despite having the plan set in our minds for years, now that the day was finally here, I was all over the place. I ran through my house in the dark, trying to make sure we had every single thing we needed. If we left anything behind, it’s not like we could come back for it. Interplanetary travel was regular here, but we couldn’t say the same for Earth.

I knew I was taking too long, but due to how long nights usually were, especially closer to winter, I knew we’d be fine. I had about six checklists including food, necessities, distractions, clothes, and whatever else I thought we needed. I lost track of how many bags we had, and so did Hiro as I handed him each one to jam into his truck. Well, it wasn’t really his truck—he borrowed it from his mom. It was the only vehicle between our families that could carry all our shit.

As I crammed the last bag through the back door of the kitchen, the lights flicked on. It wouldn’t have startled me so much if I had been using more than my phone as a flashlight. My eyes had gotten pretty adjusted to the darkness, and then it was like I went to heaven and back.

“What are you doing?”

I whipped around, originally thinking I’d see Hiro until I remembered he was outside.

“W-What?” I sputtered, standing up straight as my eyes tried to piece together the bright blurs of color that eventually formed my dad.

Last time I checked, he could sleep through anything.

The older man squinted at me, his dull magenta hair flat on one side from lying down. He scratched at his beard, and I noticed the beer can in his grasp.

“I said what are you doing? It’s the middle of the night.” He hissed, tossing the empty drink into the sink before opening the fridge to grab another. “You sleepwalking or some shit?”

I gulped, listening to the can fizz before he took a swig.

“Fuyuki.” He said sternly.

“Y-Yes. No.” I cleared my throat. “What?”

“For fucks sake, kid,” He mumbled, gulping down enough alcohol to make him start levitating a bit, regardless of the time of night.

I wouldn’t say that my dad was an alcoholic, but whenever he got a break, he drank a ton. I kind of couldn’t blame him, given how much work he had and his never-ending responsibilities that relentlessly shadowed him. Though, seemingly like every middle-aged man, he was an angry drunk, so I tried my best to stay away from him whenever he went on a binge.

He just wanted to be alone, and given that I did too, it made it relatively easy.

“Where’s Pretty Boy?”

“What?” I repeated, cringing at my inability to speak.

“The cyan kid, y’know, with the purple eyes? Has never stepped foot in the city? The weirdo who you begged me to allow to sleep over?”

I pulled on my curls, avoiding his gaze. “Oh, uh, he’s upstairs. Asleep. Yeah, he’s asleep.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“Nerves.” I blurted.

“The fuck you mean nerves?”

I groaned. “I-I don’t know, Dad. I’m sorry. It’s not like you’ve ever let me have sleepovers before—I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

The older man leaned towards me with one eyebrow raised. “You’re supposed to sleep, dumbass.” He lifted his drink to me. “You want some of this?”

“N-No, I’m fine.”

Despite my response, my dad shoved the can into my hand and grabbed another.

“I’m not old enough to drink this.”

He looked displeased. “C’mon, kid. Just—if I hear you pacing the house again and going up and down the stairs twenty more times, I’m gonna lock you out, and you can sleep on the porch.”

I gulped and took a swig of his drink, trying to keep a deadpan expression despite the bitter aftertaste. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, staring at the floor.

I heard my dad sigh. “Why are you all dressed? Shoes and everything. You’re only nineteen—it’s way too early for you to be having a midlife crisis.”

I squeezed the can as I attempted to come up with an excuse, though I only ended up spilling booze on my boots.

The older man floated over to me, his new can already half gone. He raised my head, though I was too frozen to move or even breathe. The only thing I could do to busy my hands was chug that revolting concoction. 

“What’s wrong with you?” My dad asked though I could tell he was asking out of genuine concern for once. 

“I-I just can’t sleep, I don’t know. It’s uh, it’s weird having another person in my room. It seemed like a good idea at first, and…I mean, sure, he’s my friend but,” I paused to drink some more, only to gag immediately afterward. “I was just gonna take a walk outside.”

“You wanna sleep in my room?”

“Huh?”

He gestured towards the staircase. “I’m going back to the basement for tonight. You can have my bed for tonight if you really need it.”

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn’t slept in his room since I was little. Not here nor in the city—it was a rare occasion. Something dire had to have happened for him to even consider it. I was left to my own devices during thunderstorms and power outages, and back when I thought monsters were under my bed, I got ordered to grow up.

Why did he have to finally go and do something nice on the day I was planning to leave him?

“Oh God, Fuyuki, don’t start crying please.”

I covered my face. “I-I’m not, I won’t, I-I’m sorry…I—”

The man sighed. “Chill out or you’re gonna wake your friend up.”

I took a deep breath. “I know…” I whispered. “Thanks…though, for the offer.” I glanced at the door. “I think I’m still gonna take a short walk.”

My dad shrugged, giving up on pacing himself as he grabbed the entire case of beer out of the fridge. I finished mine and placed it in the sink beside his previous ones.

That was the first time I had ever drank with my dad. The last time too, I guess.

“Alright, well, don’t stay out too late. It’s cold as shit out there.” He laughed to himself. “And it’s dark, most importantly.”

I nodded as the man turned back to the stairs, but I grabbed his dress shirt.

“What’s the matter now? If you want me to walk with you, I can’t—you and I both know I’m not sober enough for that.”

I chuckled. “N-No.” For once, I looked him in the eyes. They were lime green, just like mine.

“I just, I love you, is all.”

He looked as shocked as I felt. I expected him to scoff or at the very least, make some vulgar gay joke, but instead, he smiled.

“I love you too.”

He ruffled my hot pink curls before making his way back to the basement. Even after hearing the door close, I continued to stand there, silent. I tried to convince myself that it was still okay to leave. So what, my dad was nice to me once out of the hundred times when he was drunk. I doubt tonight would be the start of him revamping his ways.

All it would take was one long day at work, one incompetent employee, or one hour of traffic on the way to the office for him to revert back to his original self.

Well, he was never originally like that.

While working in Rybek produced stacks of money and new terrain to explore, it obliterated the original side of my dad. He was never hotheaded, hell, he was a lot like Hiro in some cases—always holding onto the biggest grin I had ever seen.

Despite how much I loved that expression, at the rate our lives had been going for years, I knew that side of him would never return.

Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself as I impulsively grabbed my dad’s last unopened case of beer out of the fridge. Sure, the taste was horrendous, but I suddenly felt like I couldn’t live without it.

I flicked off the lights and locked the backdoor as I reached Hiro’s truck in the alleyway. I found a small section of space to cram the case into before I joined my boyfriend in the passenger seat. I nudged him awake as he lay against the window.

“Hey.”

“Mm. Are we on Earth yet?” He muttered, eyes still closed.

I chuckled. “We’re still in my backyard.”

The Iinowaen stretched and finally looked at me after glancing at the clock on the dashboard.

“Geez, how long have you been packing for?” He sat up. “How long have I been out for?!”

I smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

Hiro started the car, but as we strapped ourselves in, he glanced at me again. “Your eyes are puffy…have you been crying?”

I gulped, unsure of how the hell he could notice in the dark. “Nah, I’m good.”

He smiled as he pulled onto a main road, though it was hard to tell since the streets were empty. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“Eh, at least I tried.”

The cyan alien kept trying to get me to elaborate, but I quickly backed out of the conversation. 

“Will you at least give me the map?”

I pulled my phone out of the satchel in my lap, which held what I deemed were my essentials. Some journals, a ton of pens, a few of my favorite snacks, you name it.

I synced my phone to the car, and it highlighted the directions, though as Hiro concentrated on the road, I fiddled with the radio. Leaving the house already took long enough as is, so who knows how we’d survive a weeklong trip through space. Even though we were still on Iinowaen soil, there was no going back now.

Since my boyfriend was distracted, I pulled out one of my notebooks and started journaling everything that had happened since I had woken up. It was the only thing that ever kept me sane.

I just always made sure the other Iinowaen was unaware.

We were heading further down south, close to one of the popular mountain ranges. No matter the continent, the further you were from Central Command, the deader it got. For us, that was perfect.

Between me collecting scrap metal from my dad’s factory, Hiro’s mom always being around aircrafts, and his dad knowing exactly what was needed to make one, we built our own ship. Specifically, we stole several demos, stripped them of their parts, and eventually merged them to make our own. It took ages, but Hiro was good with his hands, and I was good with my brains, so together, we made the perfect team.

We copied his father’s blueprints to a “T” since they had already been certified by the Commander. It was the only way to ensure we wouldn’t die after a few hours out of the atmosphere.

We built it inside an old barn on a farm that had been abandoned decades ago. Every portion of land was overgrown, making it easy to hide anything and everything.

Hours after we arrived at the barn, the two of us got out and started unpacking. I gave up on keeping track of how long any of this had been going on until I watched Hiro get back in the truck. I ran and knocked on the glass, hoping he wasn’t expecting me to carry all our junk up that hill.

“What are you doing?”

He rolled down the window. “Getting rid of the evidence. I know it’s practically dead over here, but I don’t want someone somehow finding the truck, tracking the tags, and linking it back to us. If we were followed, it would be the best way to get them off our trail.”

I stood awkwardly outside the vehicle. “I…doubt anyone followed us. And how would they even get to us?”

“Dude, there’s cops just outside of the atmosphere. Trust me, I know—my dad’s told me countless stories.” He chuckled, “Just let me be paranoid. I’ll be back.”

I stood on my tiptoes, sticking my head through the window. “Wait, are you sure you’ll be okay? It’s pitch black out here! No streetlights, no signals, no nothing.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine!” He leaned in. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back to help you carry our junk. You don’t have to deal with it all.”

I stayed quiet.

“Yuki, it’s okay. I’ll call you if something happens.”

I nodded as he turned back to the road, though right before I jumped down and he pulled off, I leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, and due to the lack of lighting, it was easy to see his antennae light up.

We didn’t say anything and just laughed before I backed up from the truck, and he drove off. After I could no longer see his taillights, I stared at my bags and threw some on my back as I walked to the barn.

I managed a few trips before growing exhausted and leaning against the outer wall. I pulled out my journal again, analyzing all the entries leading up until today. It felt weird how my life seemingly got better the closer I got to my departure date. My dad’s soul apparently returned, Rybek started feeling a bit more like home—I even had people from school inviting me to graduation parties. Then again, I was never a partier, so the idea didn’t scratch my brain.

Still, something wasn’t sitting right. If I were traveling alone, it’d be fine, but I was going with Hiro.

My boyfriend. 

My boyfriend, whom I had only one sleepover with, who I had never kissed, who I had been dating for four years. In human terms, we were adults, but despite being in our “teens,” we had no experience. 

If nothing had happened after all this time, wasn’t that a bad sign? Would we grow apart on Earth? Would he find some human with the same hobbies, energy, and positive outlook on life as him?

I hated to think about it, but anyone could love him. I personally felt like no one could love him as much as I did, but he surely deserved better. If he had never met me, would he have tried to do this all by himself, or would it just stay a dream?

I looked up at the constellations, pondering about which could be Earth. Though, due to the desolate area, there were too many stars to focus on. I considered calling Hiro just because I wanted to hear his voice, but I had no service.

Figures.

I wanted to give him one last chance to turn back, or maybe he had already done so. He helped me pack my things and deliver me to my destination, and now his job was done. Despite how today was supposed to be the best day of my life, I could only think of the negatives. If he left, I couldn’t blame him.