Flowers in the Grass

Two days ago, I felt like my life was going to end.

I had been attacked while trying to fly over a city, by another dragon who nearly clawed me to death before I managed to fend him off, leaving deep cuts and scratches all over me. I had immediately gone home – moments before my 'boss', Crowley, also returned.

I should have expected that he wouldn't give a damn; it just wasn't in his nature to care about others. But somehow I hadn't expected it, and it had hurt more than the physical injuries when he brushed me off and went to bed without even asking if I was all right.

I had cried myself to sleep and woken up the next morning feeling strangely refreshed, and more determined than I'd felt in years.

I was ready to put an end to this.

Once upon a time, I'd stayed with Crowley because I'd truly, honestly believed that I had the power to turn him into a better person. Now, it seemed like such a laughable concept. As if anyone could really change Crowley! He enjoyed being the horrible person that he was; he enjoyed hurting others. He wouldn't ever allow anyone to change him.

But I'd been young, foolish and – it had to be admitted – hopelessly in love with him. A simple crush had turned my life upside-down and forced me to reconsider everything I wanted to do. In the past four years, I had grown. My present-day life could look back at my younger self and not know whether to laugh or cry at how stupid I'd been back then – how naive, how trusting. I had allowed Crowley to manipulate me because I'd loved him so much, and that toxic, onesided relationship had nearly killed me more times than I could remember.

Then, two days ago, it had ended.

I'd been planning to leave him for months now, but when it came to actually telling him, my courage had always failed me. This time, though... Seeing Crowley's utter disregard for my safety convinced me that I truly was right and he was wrong. And I needed to leave if I ever wanted a chance of living a happy life.

Even then, I hadn't had the courage to tell him in person. Not because I was scared of how he might react – despite his lack of care for me, Crowley had never physically hurt me himself – but because I hadn't known how to put it all into words. What do you say to each other at the end of four years of toxic love, manipulation and simmering resentment?

Eventually, feeling like a complete coward, I'd sneaked off to visit one of Crowley's best friends, Colin. I didn't like Colin much – I struggled to like anyone who willingly hung around with Crowley – but he was the closest thing to a potential ally that I had.

I asked him to pass on a message from me. He agreed. Very quickly, much to my surprise – maybe he was actually happy that I was finally getting myself out of the horrible situation I'd been trapped in for so long. Or maybe he was just happy to see the back of me.

After giving Colin my message (which was nothing more than a few words to tell Crowley I was going, but not where I was going), I had taken flight. I had no planned destination in mind, but simply went where my instincts led me. I would have said 'where my heart led me' but I've learned not to trust my heart in the last few years.

After a day of travelling, I finally landed – exhausted and hungry – in a little forest glade near the foot of some mountains. A sparkling brook had been there, and I drank my fill of the sweet, clear water, relishing in my newfound freedom, but not sure what to do with it yet.

Suddenly, a voice had called out to me. Terrified that Crowley had somehow found me, I'd immediately prepared to take flight – to escape using any means possible. But the figure standing across the glade was not Crowley.

It was a tall, handsome dragon, with brown-and-grey feathers and golden horns. Even though he wasn't Crowley, I couldn't bring myself to trust a stranger and had started to back away, worried that he was somehow in league with my former boss and had come to capture me on his behalf. The only thing that stopped me from fleeing on the spot was the kindness I saw in his eyes.

Long story short, he managed to calm me down, introduced himself as Glade (funny coincidence, that), and led me to a small village nearby where I could get treatment for my injuries. Even while the medics were working on me, he never left my side. He's the first person to act like he cares about me since... I don't even remember. Since my guardian Florence, I suppose.

Afterwards, he took me out to dinner. I feel silly saying it like that, but that's what he did. He found enough food for the both of us, and then we sat together next to the brook and ate while we talked about anything and everything; Glade seemed really curious about where I had come from. I haven't told him about Crowley yet, but I hinted that I was in an abusive relationship for several years and have finally decided to run away. He supported me and said that he'd protect me if my 'ex' ever came looking.

I don't know how to feel about him. He's been so gentle, so honest, so kind – the absolute opposite of everything Crowley was to me. But it's still hard to trust him, even when the rational side of my mind knows there's nothing to worry about. Glade is a good person.

I think I might decide to stay here with him, if he'll let me.

I'm still terrified that Crowley might find me – I don't believe for one second that he'll take my disappearance in stride. Whether he wants to recapture me or just kill me in revenge, I'm sure I'll be seeing him again. But I don't intend to let him ruin my life any more than he already has.

If I so much as catch a glimpse of blue-feathered wings, I'll be ready.

A part of me actually wants to see him again, probably the same part that used to be in love with him and doesn't know whether it still is or not. All I know for sure is that my feelings for him went downhill fast after seeing how little he cared when I was injured that night. It's kind of hard to find someone attractive when they shrug and laugh at the sight of you covered in your own blood.

I'm not so naive as to believe that everything will be OK now; after years of working for Crowley, I have more emotional and mental scars than I care to count. I still have nightmares far too often, and my waking hours are filled with images of the terrible things I've watched him do – some of which I helped him with. It's going to be a long, long time before those images start to fade, I think. But I'm willing to wait, as long as I know things will be OK in the future. Wouldn't it be nice to know exactly when that'll happen? Probably, but I think I'd rather just let it be a surprise; maybe someday I'll wake up in the morning and realise I didn't have a single bad dream that night.

I think that's the day I'll finally feel at peace.