Celebrate Me Home

 It had been so long since she had willingly visited. The other times, scattered throughout the past few months this year alone, had been more for her father’s sake, if you could count him passive-aggressively inviting her back with each phone call.
Today, though, she was cautious. Normally, she did and said whatever she pleased. She knew she could get away with it, in front of her father. Just for this one day out of the whole year, though, she put aside her verbal-sparring gloves and slipped on in when the door unlocked and opened.

“Don’t forget to take off your shoes,” Sorata warned from somewhere in the house. She rolled her eyes at it, having already been kicking the damn things off at the entryway.

“It’s not a big deal,” Travis shouted only moments after. “Welcome back!”

Sorata’s voice could be heard speaking back as soon as it came out of the poor guy’s mouth. Mumblings from the livingroom, Sophia presumed. So off she went in that direction, careful with her purse not to knock into the various knick-knacks and photographs precariously hung all along the wall. The kitchen’s smells of curry tempted her to detour and taste-test, but it would wait. As soon as she peeked her head from around the hallway, that dark black head of hair perked up higher. Her father, jostled so quickly after, and turned to look the way Travis had started.

“Hello, Sophia!” Travis was ever cheery. Sorata made it a point to say how similar Travis was to her daddy, so she took it to heart especially today, and waved politely in greeting.
The implications of this little love-nest always did make her uncomfortable… It seemed disrespectful. But she did love her father too much to make many waves about it-- at least after the first argument all those years ago.

“Come give me a hug,” Sorata demanded. 

His arms outstretched, and in that tight polo shirt he-- probably purposely-- chose to wear; he looked as young as all the photos Sophia was subjected to, when she was just a baby. Fit, she always remembered thinking fondly. Fit and sparkly-clean. He stopped bleaching his hair even before she was old enough to have cohesive, cognizant thoughts, really, so those mementos seemed like another family entirely. Even daddy, tall and staunch and ill-fitting in every picture.
Sophia ignored Alex off on the other side of the living room, and Travis right beside Sorata, snug and patient, and gave her father a huge bear hug.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered right in her ear with mild strain, squeezing right back. It was so saccharine and misty, and the hug was near uncomfortable in its enthusiasm. They both didn’t know when to stop, and the embrace kept on.

“How are you?” Travis invited himself in, giving Sophia a gentle tap tap tap along her shoulder.

She parted from her father’s embrace to straighten up, and sort her outfit back into place. Alex cleared his throat, somewhere behind her, and she turned to give him a dirty look. It was harmless, but he shied away when she even turned.
“I’m fine,” Sophia said, turning back to her father and Travis. She always had trouble meeting his eyes. No, she could never see daddy in him. She was always told she was just too young to understand. “Hi.”

“Your dad missed you very much,” Travis attempted to chastise. She noticed Sorata out of the corner of her eye fussing again, gesturing without words. Still, Travis continued. “He said-- he said that he didn’t know if you were going to visit today. That it’s been weeks since you called...”

“He’s lying,” Sophia dismissed. She made sure to give a thorough, weary gaze at her father, those oh-so-similar eyes still misty and adoring. It was tiring. “He just wants to be the martyr.”

“Sophia! Why do you act like this?” Sorata's tone was harsh but his posture was anything but. Sophia always proved her point, at least in her head. “If I would’ve known you were going to come, I would’ve started some tea.”
Predictable as always, he quickly veered the subject away from her attitude. “But… We’re just about to have dinner, so…”

Sophia reshouldered her purse before raising a hand, silencing her father. “I’ll get the table set. Nobody’s done it yet, right?”

“No, not yet.” Her father had sighed so discreetly that Sophia was tempted to take offense by it. Ever the drama queen. “Alex, would you please help her?”

Alex made no biting remark-- simply stretched, then got up from his spot. Sophia didn’t bother waiting, striding off into the kitchen. Still, Alex’s footsteps followed at an even pace behind her.
There was not-so-amicable silence as Sophia took her time placing her purse down on an empty bit of counter space, then turned for the cupboard. She could feel Alex trying to find a way to disturb the calm. But it continued this way, even as she collected all the plates in her arms and began to make for the dining room table. With each clack of the ceramics resting in their rightful places, Sophia felt herself get into the zone. Alex slowly became a little gnat, barely in the corner of her vision, buzzing nearby, but not on her. It was fine. It was better than usual. Maybe it was because of the occasion that brought them all together that was causing him to be so cooperative.

“You know,” Sophia said to Alex oh-so-casually, on the final trip back to the kitchen, for the napkins. “I can get used to you, like this.”

Alex didn’t look affected by the snark, but his body language read uncomfortable. Alex just shrugged, that frown still on his face, then brought a hand up to scratch at the back of his short hair.

“How’s everything in here?” Sorata had come into the dining room. “Are you two okay?”

Sophia rolled her eyes, then waved at her father, beckoning him to his chair. “Yeah. Sit. I’ll bring out the pot.”

Travis’ plodding footsteps arrived before he did. He saw the last of Sophia’s demands and, always cooperating to her whims, brought his hands out to guide Sorata to his seat.
Normally they were triple the amount of touchy-feely. Today, Sophia had to assume, was hallowed ground. Travis’s hands never seemed to go lower than necessary, and even when she had saw them cuddling in the living room, it was chaste enough for Alex to keep his opinions to himself, which was a rare thing indeed.

“I love it when your dad makes curry,” Travis supplied. Even from the kitchen, Sophia heard Alex sigh at the forced harmony of this whole situation.

“Well, I love making it,” Sorata responded after a beat of awkward silence. His hands were firmly placed along his wide thighs, back seemingly casual- but rigid- looking statuesque for a guy nearing sixty. He was directing his gaze toward his daughter across the way in the kitchen. “Node didn’t have a favorite meal, but, a long time ago, I told him this was mine. So he said it was his, too.”

“We’re starting this earlier than usual.” Alex didn’t make an attempt to sugar coat his disdain for this portion of the night.

“If you came just to have dinner, fuck off,” Sophia said. It was harmless, but Sorata still took offense to it, making a noise of frustration. She amended her words while placing the pot of curry in the middle of the table. “Please.”

“That isn’t any better!” Sorata huffed, childishly so, and Travis beside him ignored it, hand gravitating for the ladle in the pot, other hand precariously holding his bowl out. “Can we just get along-- for a few minutes-- while I reminisce? How old are you two, going on like that?”

“Do you really wanna know how old they are?” Travis was grinning wide, soft wrinkles becoming prominent along his eyes. “I don’t think I want to hear.”

Sorata shook his head at it, finally looking over at his husband and softly smiling. “Actually… I don’t. You’re right.” He turned back to the children and his smile had waned. “I’m trying to remember this. Because it was really sweet, when it happened. Sort of.”

Sophia waited patiently as her father spoke, and as Travis took his sweet time with pouring himself some curry. Admittedly, her focus was on the pot, and not on anyone in particular, but when she tuned in to the same old story she had heard millions of times over, it had a different ending.

“It was such a horrible evening. Well, if you were anyone but me. I thought it was amazing, because of the proposal, and my parent’s blessing, and-- and all that left over curry.” Sorata laughed. “What really made it horrible was, sometime later… And I mean, months later… Node had told me that the proposal was an accident. That he didn’t want to marry me at all.”

Sophia was just about to grab for the ladle when Sorata had dropped that bomb on her. Her normally stoic face turned into a near-comical gawp.
“I’m sorry-- what?”

“Really?” Travis questioned. It was said with an edge of doubt. Sophia was inclined to agree.
Sorata nodded his head patiently.

“I thought I told you that,” Sorata directed to his husband. Then, he shrugged, and it was so uncharacteristic to see from her father that Sophia would’ve found it funny in any other circumstance.

“This is kind of major, dad,” Sophia started. When Sorata simply blinked at her, she continued, more firm. “Why in the hell are you always crying over this jerk when he didn’t even want to marry you?”

Travis shook his head with his eyebrows up into his forehead-- but, of course, he didn’t argue back. Instead, Sorata did it for himself. “I didn’t finish my story, Sophia. And I’m not always crying over him.”

“But-- she had a point-- he was a jerk,” Travis finally said, bridging the gap. Sorata turned to look at him, and Sophia had to presume it was a huge frown, the one he always pulled on her when she was being judged hard, as a teenager. She hadn’t realized how far across the table she was leaning since her father dropped this juicy tidbit.

“I didn’t say that. Would you all let me finish my story?” He sighed deep and heavy, then turned back to the children.
“He said he felt obligated, or something like that-- when we were at my parent’s, for dinner. Because that was the first time he actually said he loved me… And, I guess… I guess he was swept into the moment. My mom had been wondering about our relationship, during dinner, and he felt that pressure on top of it all. That was when he proposed.”

“I know that,” Sophia cut back in to Sorata’s explanation. “I know about when he proposed, dad. But I don’t get why him feeling pressured is a good excuse.”

“Because the story still isn’t done, sweetheart. But… I’ll just skip over some details. On the night he told me he didn’t want to marry me, we-- he explained that he also wanted to stay married to me, then. Marriage or not, he loved me. It made sense for us to enjoy the benefits of being husbands… He knew we’d be together until the end.”

“His end,” Alex corrected. Sophia was still flabbergasted into silence to fight against it.

“It’s not a nice way of saying it, but it’s not wrong.” With that final word in, Sorata reached for the ladle in the curry pot and poured himself a full serving in his bowl of rice. “If you would’ve known him, Alex, you could understand better.”

Travis had been fairly quiet while this went on, chewing and swallowing and observing Sorata. As Sorata finally dug in to his bowl, he spoke up.
“This meal turned out great... But they always do, Sorata.”

Sophia righted herself in her seat as she finally served herself, then looked to Alex. For once, they shared a pure moment of misery. They always agreed about this disastrous relationship between Travis and Sorata, even as teenagers. Then, she dared to forge on, not even trying her bowl of curry. The listlessness in the air was getting to her.
“You don’t have any stories about daddy, Travis?”

He paused, mouth open as if he wanted to speak about something else, then expressed such a comical version of consideration. Finally, he nodded. “Sure-- okay-- I can think of a story. This one involves your dad, too, Alex.”

“Great,” Alex deadpanned.

“Yeah,” Travis replied completely unfazed. “Well, you know-- he was, uh, pretty headstrong. Both of them, I guess, but I meant Node.”

Sorata’s pace of eating seemed to slow as Travis continued, after they shared a quick look at each other.
“It was right after he- and your dad, here- got back from their honeymoon. I was supposed to be watching their apartment for them, but I got distracted, visiting your dad,” Travis explained, nodding to Alex toward the tail end.

Sophia’s brows furrowed. “Wait, hold on. Apartment?”

Sorata and Travis both nodded, and Sorata explained further. “You lived in that apartment, actually. But just for a year or so... We were pretty far in the city, but I don’t-- I didn’t think that was the right place to raise you.”

“Wasn’t that house closer to Uncle Gene, too?” Travis interjected, and his tone bore that excitement that only he could muster up. Sorata fell for it every time, nodding again, with a bit more spunk.

“That’s the one. I do miss that house,” Sorata mused. “I miss Gene, too. But, oh, the fits your daddy would have over him, Sophia. He always told me they never got along, but they fought. Node was too young at heart to let anything stop him when he had reasons.”

She watched this confusing volley of information unfold. Travis’ expression was sly.
“Because of the mob and all that, right? Uncle Gene was so nice, though! You’d never have known.”

“Okay, no-- what?” Sophia caught herself asking aloud. “Uncle Gene? Are you serious?”

“Do you not know anything about your family, or what?” Alex teased her.

“Sophia,” Travis spoke in a hushed tone. It was all for show-- even in his older age, he was so transparent- he was having fun. “Gene’s involvement was super serious. Geez, it was-- it had to have been after Node died that I even found out about him!”

By this point, Sophia was balking again. Her eyes were wide, and Travis didn’t seem to get the memo to take it easy. He kept going. “I didn’t even know I had uncles! So there was one-- one of Node’s cousins, and that was it. For years! I thought it was weird as hell. But your-- Node, man... He knew how to keep a skeleton in a closet, honestly.”

“He told me not to tell you,” Sorata mentioned to Travis off-handedly. He had ditched his food entirely, engrossed in these retellings. “But, when he passed, well…”

“I would’ve been pretty hurt if you didn’t, by that point!”

“Then I’m glad I did.”

Alex rushed to speak. “Please don’t kiss. Let’s just-- let’s get back on track. This was supposed to be a story involving my dad.”

Sorata huffed while Travis righted himself in his chair. “Aren’t you too old for, you know, caring about two people just-- just displaying affection?”

“Nah, nah. It’s just when it comes to you two. It’s wrong.”

Sophia made no comment, but her expression said I agree.

“Well-- well, thanks. Thanks for that.” Travis cleared his throat, then shook his head. “I don’t even remember what the story was. Sorata?”

“Oh.” Sophia watched her father deliberate, running his hand across his own thigh in idle. He spoke slowly. “Your husband, and Node-- maybe it was about the fight?”

Travis snapped his fingers at Sorata. “That’s right. Yoto-- and dad. I mean, Node.”
His wink nearly broke Sophia in half at the outrage of it all. “Your dad.”

“Sick,” Alex added on, ever-helpful.

“It really was. The first and last time they fought,” Travis recounted incorrectly. “Because I asked Yoto to marry me. Sorata gave me the bug, and…” Travis laughed at himself, while the room kept more or less silent around him. “I thought me and him would look really nice in matching rings. But, anyway, Node was so pissed off. They barely got home, and Sorata wasn’t there, so I told him real quick-- and he just--”
Wiry arms came up and hands crashed together; Travis whooshed aloud. “Yoto had a few broken ribs. I was right there... It was gruesome.”

Sorata shook his head. “Awful. I can’t imagine.”

“Yeah,” Travis said. “I remember more about taking care of Yoto. You were already born, Alex. But we--”

“Just hadn’t met me yet,” Alex finished Travis’ sentence for him.

Sorata seemed to lighten up at the interaction, and, in the spur of the moment, reached over the dinner table, arm held upward. Sophia placed her arm alongside her father’s, and clasped his hand, as they listened to Travis without interruption.

“But, it was-- it felt nice to know Node was trying to look out for me. He was weird about it, but he tried. I didn’t… I would’ve preferred it if he just used his words a little better.”

Sorata intervened. “He really did love you, Travis, I know he did.”

“I think you were his one great love,” Travis laughed out amiably. “I never minded being low on his chart-- of, out of all his interests. I’m still glad he let me crash with you guys… He could’ve said ‘no’ and turned me out, honestly. I was glad to have met you. Glad for it all.”

Travis turned to the children and gestured with his head. “It doesn’t kill you to be a little grateful for all the nice things he’s done.”

“Even if he was a jerk?” Sophia bit. “I bet all of this could’ve happened even if he wasn’t there. It may have even made things better for him to be out of the picture.”

Sorata seemed to have gained more patience the more he tolerated Sophia and Alex’s presence, simply shaking his head, then speaking gently. He never let go of Sophia’s hand even when she spoke so harshly. “If I wasn’t with him, I wouldn’t have had you, Sophia. And that’s even more important than anything else that we went through.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but Sorata continued on. “I wanted a baby so badly. Even before I saw Alex-- but, oh my god, Alex, you were so precious. I knew then and there, if Travis was taking care of you, with your dad, that me and Node could do it.”

Alex laughed, and it was as acerbic as usual. “They were that bad at it, huh? Is this why I’m so fucked up?”

“You’re doing just fine-- I knew you were in good hands, with your parents. And your mother, too.” Sorata continued, looking back and forth, between Sophia and Alex. “But… It wasn’t the same, taking care of you. I had been wondering for a long time, how I could approach the subject with Node. He hadn’t known about Travis until later in his life--”

“We know,” Alex tried to hurry the story up.

“So, it was difficult thinking he wanted to try and raise a baby from the ground up.”

“Never thought of it that way,” Travis mumbled. Sorata smiled ruefully at his daughter in his sights, while Travis watched beside and out of view.

“I had a feeling he didn’t want to even try, so I tried not to say it. I did give a few hints. Maybe even before getting married-- I don’t remember. I just couldn’t say it-- even if I wanted it. I think I thought, at the time, maybe it was too soon.”
Graying-brown hair lopped to the side as Sorata tried to crane his neck and view Travis for a moment.
“But, when you dropped Alex off one day, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I asked him if he’d even consider it.” Sorata sighed heavily, finishing the first half of his recount. If Node had a spirit, he’d have felt that. Sophia caught the corner of her lip upturning in amusement. “He wasn’t excited at all, that I had asked. But… But he didn’t argue it too hard.” 

“Everything was an argument,” Travis sagely offered. Sorata’s sad smile was still on his face as he continued.

“That was just the first time, though, and he already said he’d start thinking about it. I was so relieved. I was ready to meet my baby! And look how amazing she is.”

“You didn’t give up, did you, Sorata?”

Sorata laughed at Travis’ teasing. “No, I didn’t. I needed Sophia before I knew I needed her. It was just a feeling.”

“Fate brought you here.” Travis seemed to get a little wistful at his own musings, much like Sorata had gotten earlier. Sorata fed into it with eagerness, and sweetness. He shook Sophia’s hand in his own instead, but he had turned to face his husband again.

“I’m grateful for everything that happened,” Sorata started softly. Sophia tightened her grip along Sorata’s own hand as he spoke. When her father got like this, she missed daddy just for not being able to support Sorata, in this moment. Travis wasn’t the right fit. “I’m so fortunate.”

“We both are,” Travis concluded in the same gentleness Sorata gave him. They had been leaning dangerously close, as if to kiss, and Sophia gently let go of her father’s hand, giving him his space. She couldn’t find fair reason to stand in the way, then. Her now-free hand came back to grasp at her spoon, and she toyed with her curry.

“Happy birthday, daddy,” she murmured into the bowl.