A Journey Of Self Discovery

Kazuki had been back home for three days and oh man he had a lot to learn. He didn’t even know himself anymore or what he was capable of. Everything was different and strange, but the most perplexing thing was his tail. It was heavy, cumbersome and it always seemed to do the opposite of what he wanted. 

“Shit.” He mumbled as he turned and swept a lamp off the table. It fell to the floor and thankfully did not break. He awkwardly wrapped his hands around it and hissed annoyed when it slipped out of his claws. 

Those were another thing that were obnoxious, but he wasn’t going to worry about the three inch, needle sharp things that tipped his fingers at that moment. 

He eventually got a good grip on the lamp and place it back on the table. 

He turned around again and his tail hit something else. “Oof!” 

“Ooh I’m sorry Uncle Ryohei, I didn’t know you were there!” Kazuki apologized turning to see his uncle lying on his back on the floor. His tail had swept Ryohei’s feet out from under him.

“Nah it’s ok. You have an entirely new limb to figure out, it’s bound to happen. He stood up and brushed his pants off. “Can I help in any way?” 

“No...I don’t think you can with this. It just has a mind of its own you know? Plus it’s really long which doesn’t help.” Kazuki responded looked back behind him at his tail. It swept back and forth on the carpet with out him telling it to. 

“Well don’t worry if you break anything while you’re figuring it out. Objects are replaceable you know? You’re not.” Ryohei added walking up to the teen and kissing his forehead. “I’m gonna run to the store real fast to pick up groceries.” 

Kazuki frowned and shifted uncomfortably. His tail moved to swish anxiously behind him. 

“I’ll be back soon, it shouldn’t take long. All the doors and windows are locked and no one will be getting in.” Ryohei added reassuringly. “I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to. But we need food.” 

“Ok...” kazuki mumbled slowly. He was terrified of being alone but he was scared of going out in public too. He just wanted things to go back to normal, but that wouldn’t be possible anymore. 

“It’ll be ok Kazu, I’ll have my phone on me. So if you get scared or need anything call me, and I’ll come right home.” Ryohei said again moving to hug him. Kazuki nodded. 

That was a little more reassuring, but not much. 

Kazuki watched out the front window as Ryohei’s black sedan pulled out of the garage and then the driveway before driving down the road.

He moved to flop back down on the couch but winced when he sat on his tail wrong. He groaned in annoyance and stood up all the while his tail lashed behind him mirroring his mood. Kazuki turned and grabbed the base hoping it would stop moving. It didn’t, it just lashed faster. 

“Stop.” He commanded it. It didn’t listen and he groaned in annoyance. “You’re a part of me, why aren’t you listening?”

He frowned and let it fall back to the ground. He definitely couldn’t go back out in public if he didn’t get some semblance of control over his tail. Whacking and tripping people with it wouldn’t be acceptable. As he stood in the living room unsure of what to do next, his tail curled around his legs in a way expressing his apprehension and anxiety. 

He began to walk but ended up tripping over it in stead and falling face first against the ground. And the way his tail was wrapped around his legs he fell on it too.

“Ooooww!” He rubbed his head with one of his hands and kept it there as he pushed himself off the ground. He sat up so he was leaning on his knees and growled. He was frustrated and a little more than angry that his tail kept getting in the way of things. He wanted to be normal again, turn back the clock and just be his happy, naive and blissfully unaware self again.

He sighed and stood up, but as he did his tail whipped out behind him, sweeping everything off the coffee table. 

“COME ON!” He roared. His tail slammed against the floor in anger and frustration and his ears laid back against his head. He mumbled something to himself as he picked up the knocked over objects. As he did his tail knocked over another lamp and he hissed In frustration. 

Kazuki ended up just sitting down in the middle of the living room, his tail sweeping side by side behind him. He figured this was easier, at least he wouldn’t be knocking anything over. 

It was very quiet in the house, so much so that it was a little overwhelming. He’d been so used to constant loud noises over the last three months that silence felt strange and unnatural to him. It didn’t take long for his mind to wander down a darker road, and his heart rate quickened as he began to remember his time in that hell hole. He could almost feel the thick iron collar around his neck again. 

Kazuki shook his head and tried to focus on something happier. Like swimming! 

“Wait...am I going to lose my swimming scholarship because of this?” He asked himself worried. Could he even swim anymore? Lost in thought he hadn’t realized his tail had mostly stopped moving, and only the tip twitched. Kazuki stood up quickly, suddenly anxious. Why was Ryohei taking so long? Did he leave? Did he get kidnapped to? 

Panic stricken Kazuki fumbled with his phone and tried to hit the buttons correctly. No luck though, his hands weren’t suited for that anymore. Of course this made Kazuki panic even more and he began to pace around the living room. What if ‘they’ came back and took him? He’d never get back home then. 

The sound of the garage door opening made Kazuki jump and he scrambled to hide behind the arm chair. 

Not again, no, no, no, no, no!! 

“Kazuki I’m back!” Ryohei called from the back of the house. Kazuki’s heart rate began to slow and he peeked over the arm chair’s side. Ryohei was fine, and he sighed relieved.  

He stood up and made his way to the kitchen, his tail almost dragging behind him. 

“So I got your favorites, and I figured I’d make something really good tonight! Something spicy if you’d like?” Ryohei questioned setting the bags of food down. He turned to Kazuki and noticed he looked  a little nervous. “Is everything ok?” 

“Oh, yeah. It’s uh, good.” Kazuki replied half heartedly. 

“You can talk to me Kazu. I won’t even say anything. I’ll just listen.” 

“Well...” Kazuki started. “It’s just...it’s just that-I’m...never mind.” Kazuki frowned unable to pick the right words. He wasn’t in the mood to talk he guessed.

“No worries, I’m always available when you want to talk. Don’t try to force it.” Ryohei replied smiling. “On a better note, any progress on taming your tail?”

“Oh...it’s going ok. Still haven’t figured it out yet.” Kazuki responded. 

“That’s not surprising,” Ryohei mused as he put the cold foods into the fridge. “It’s something new, and it will take more than a few days to figure out. Though I’m sure you’ve noticed it mirrors your emotions,right?”

“Definitely.” Kazuki agreed. “I’ll get the hang of it though, I think. Eventually. ”