A Collection of Aimless Tidbits

How can I be sincere?
I was raised for this job, groomed to perform within the niche crafted by my birth. And of course, they act kindly, they are raised to; it is expected to be polite and respectful, but behind those facades lies a harsher truth that is spoken only once ample pressure is applied. I am still a pixie at heart, driven by a competitive drive, willing to put everything aside to achieve my own success. All that matters is the future.

But How can I be successful?
I stop at every turn to admire pointless leads, I put forth the effort, but not enough. I’m told this, over and over, 'you must try harder', 'you must do this or that…'  But I don’t want to. I want to waste my time painting flowers or sewing or staring off into nothing. At what point do my mentors give up? Tired of wasting their own time on a doomed prospect. I was taught that life is something to be enjoyed, something fleeting and wonderous and finite. The present is here; it should be lived to the fullest.