The Cephalo Diaries 2017

It had to be one of those nights didn’t it. Victoria couldn’t sleep, too many thoughts in her head that kept battering her brain. And staying at home only added more fire to the fuel.. Wait, that’s the other way around. It’s worse than she thought. So what was it, midnight? One, two in the morning? Whatever unholy time it was, Torch had left her home and took a walk under the stars.. and, red moon apparently. She somehow ended up at the park area, making sure to avoid the people out there.. the heck were they doing here anyways? She shook her head. No, don’t need people right now. Just need to focus that things are okay. And so the orange inkling continues to trudge on aimlessly, with arms folded as if she were hugging herself.

An event in the park? Despite his bad impression of the karaoke party, Sleak figured he might as well check it out. He had heard that Shiro had intentions to go outside and look at this.. What was it.. Lunar eclipse? Now he doubted the octogirl would be in the public park, but he certainly felt like he couldn't pass up. Not if he wanted to beat his own low period.. And so, Sleak arrived at the park. He noticed other folks in the distance, and opted to head over.. At least.. If it weren't for the orange inkling he spotted, seemingly walking away from the people, though her actual goal seemed.. Hard to guess. "Torch?"

Torch only kept walking for a couple of more paces before actually stopping, as if it took her brain a moment or two to register that someone had called her and it wasn't just her own thoughts.
She looked one way, then another -finally catching sight of the familiar face, "oh. hey what's up?" her voice seemed to sound as blank as her face, like she wasn't all there. That is until  fully registered the situation.
"Wait." she blinked. Suddenly her voice was filled with more life, if confusion at best, "What are you doing here?" It's a free country, girl. But it was the first thing to come out without thinking.

"You.. Uh.. You don't know? I mean, you ask what's up, but uh.. Maybe actually look up?" Sleak kinda wasn't sure what's going on. "You seem out of it, something going on..? I came out because of the lunar eclipse.. That's what's going on and what I'm doing here. Supposedly there's a public viewing just.. over there, with all the people."

As soon as he suggested it, Torch glanced up, eventually turning her head to the sky to see what the hubbub was about. Nothing but the reddening moon phenomenon.. Ignoring the question first, she turned her head back to Sleak, “oh is that why they’re all out here? Didn’t think they’d make a whole event for this..” she half gestured a hand to the sky. No, the girl didn’t particularly care for the event. Not unless someone else made it exciting for her anyways. She folded her arms again, “I mean, this thing or not, I just needed a walk. ...Though I didn’t take you for one liking this space stuff, heh. Don’t let me stop you.”

"Hm, I'm not particularly into it, either. But I feel somewhat obligated to at least check out a public event, just like that karaoke deal a while back?" Sleak was sure she'd remember. It's not as if it hadn't come up in conversation since then. "But you skipped over my question. If you're not here because of the event.. And the fact that you seem completely out of it.. I have to ask, is something going on?"

She only hummed in response to his reasoning.. only to fidget a bit when he had caught her not answering his question. “Ah.. nothing big..” she gave a shoulder shrug, quickly trying to brush off any hint that there was something really bugging her. “Just wanted to take a walk. Think about some stuff. S’not like it’s the first time I’ve done this.” Well. Not a complete lie. And with that Torch began her stroll again, or tried to anyways. The girl walked slowly enough to see if he was going to follow or take up on the offer and go back to his initial reason for being here at this unholy hour.

Even though they had technically known each other for, what, slightly over half a year?.. Sleak still felt something was off. And 'nothing big' still indicated 'something'.. And her reluctance to tell him.. brushing it off like this.. even if it ACTUALLY wasn't something big, it just.. disappointed him. He had told her every little thing that had bothered him.. And sure, he realized that perhaps he had been complaining a little too much, but.. The fact that she didn't.. He looked away.. "...I suppose.." He took a step towards where the others were..
"..Well, I guess.. I'll.." He stopped again.
"...No." Sleak turned to Torch. "If something's going on, you can tell me. You know you can. I know I've been kinda teasing you and reminding you to eat because you've once told me you often forget to do so, but.. even that's because I worry about you.. and.." He bit his lip.. "..I kinda.. I kinda feel sad that you're shutting me out right now. If it's nothing big, then why can't you just tell me?" He looked away once more.. Did he maybe go too far?...

He seemed to be leaning toward going with the event. And so she began to pick up her normal pace-No.
Torch paused.. No?
She listened. And the more he spoke, the more she felt her head kind of.. sink. As if she was trying to duck herself away.
But it was last thing Sleak said that made her jolt some. Torch only stood silent for a moment after before giving herself a light face palm. She spoke softly, more talking to herself than anything, “I’m... doing it again hah..” Lowering her hand, she half turned to the other, “...I guess I.. like to believe I bring things on myself so I.. y’know.. Should solve it myself..?” The girl shrugged almost painfully. The logic made more sense in her head! Out loud it only sounded pitiful.. especially to the one person she’s become more comfortable with to let loose. Victoria lowered her shoulders again, looking away. “...walk n’ talk? It’s uh.. a bunch of little things. Gotta give me a few if I’m gonna make an ounce of sense saying aloud.”

At the suggestion of walk and talk, Sleak approached her. "I don't think you should solve everything alone. Even with all my problems, I got the help of others.. By all means, you've also been a great help, even if it just by listening to me ranting away." He looked at her. "So let's walk and talk."

Torch looked up, watching him as he approached and agreed.. but she only continued to stare, quietly mulling more things over.. like if she could trust herself to say her thoughts correctly or to say enough or more than she thought she would and  just.. not to lose this too.
don't cry
Blinking away the sting in her eyes, Torch took a breath through her nose, and quickly turned to begin walking again. It was only a couple steps in that she would return to her slower pace, once again aimlessly so long as it was away from any other company.
"... I don't even know where to begin, hah." Torch would finally admit after several moments of just walking in silence. "Rent's not too bad, job's busy but not stressful, I haven't been banned from my safe space yet, and thank cod a sea slug can't do so much as cover furniture with slime when he's bored," She blew up at her bangs with a pff, scoffing at the last bullet of her list. "and... I guess I could complain about how much I hold myself back.." she shook her head, "But that's my own choice. Made a lot of choices like that. Hence my uh.. logic back there."
The girl's long been returned to her posture of 'hugging herself' as they walked. And she only stood silent for a beat or two before looking up to Sleak in question, "You've made choices too, but those problem you talk about.. at least with me, they don't seem to be your own doing. You've got restrictions. Things you can't really control, right?" She moved her gaze in front of her again, on the ground.
"..What if you yourself is that restriction? Made a vow and now you're not sure if that's right anymore? ..But you're afraid to go back on it?"

Sleak just listened as she spoke, walking alongside her. He was unsure whether he should put an arm on her back or not, especially when she seemed to grab herself tightly. And then she stopped and looked at him. "..I guess. Though I could always just decide to leave everything behind. That'd solve all my problems pretty dang fast. I just don't think that's something I should do." He looked at the sky for a moment.. "...There isn't anything in this world immutable. If you made some vow and are doubting yourself now, it sounds like you should probably reorganize your thoughts.. Probably rethink that vow. Maybe alter it slightly." Sleak sighed, and looked at Torch. "..Though I don't know the contents of said vow.. I can see you're struggling with the results of it. So something along the line went wrong. Maybe you're misreading what has been said, maybe you're taking things too strict. Right now, it seems that vow is just making you suffer, and if that's the sole result, you should get back on it." One more sigh. "Though again, I have no idea what your vow was. But if it's holding you back to this degree, where you're basically just living day to day, struggling.. I can't agree with it."

Torch stood silent, mulling over the words, and continued moving at a trudge-like pace. “...I’m not struggling. ...at least I don’t think I am. I’m working to be better but that means to stop old habits and.. I guess that’s a struggle. But it’s not.. hm..”
She continued to stay silent, mulling over thoughts and thoughts that she probably be sharing but alas. Fear. Best she can do is omit if she didn’t want to lie. “...I sworn to stop talking to.. some people.. when I moved here.”
The girl tossed her head to the side, though still watched the ground as she walked. “I.. thought it would be best for me to stop contact. That.. they’d be better off if we had no physical ties like a text message.” She straightened her head again, still watching the ground, and hugging herself tighter if it didn’t seem tight enough already. It’s as if she was trying to curl up whilst walking. “Cod that sounds so stupid now.. but wouldn’t it be more complicated for her if I were to answer back? To like.. keep this relationship?” Another moment of silence.. and she seemed to loosen her grip on herself, “she’s been messaging me a lot recently and.. I-I’ve missed her too b-but she doesn’t.. need..” trying to make herself seem more calm only backfired with her voice growing thicker. Torch didn’t dare look up either with tears threatening to spill over.
Idiot, this is your doing, why are you crying?

"Maybe you should just contact her." Sleak now did put his hand on her back. "Sounds like even if she doesn't need you, you need her. So just contact her." Had Sleak any idea who 'her' was? No. But it didn't matter to him. It is obvious it mattered to Victoria, though.. And that was enough for him.

“It sounds so easy.. b-but I can ruin her life by just d-doing that..” Torch’s voice became tiny, and she’d slowed her walk to a stop, “I don’t c-care. what happens to me, I’ll figure it out. But I’m not.. not gonna let me be her downfall.. ..at least, that’s what I’ve been concluding to.” Tears had already began dropping whether she acknowledged them or not, she only hoped her bangs were covering any of not all of her face.

"You can't ruin someone's life just from replying to a text message.. She knows you're alive because her messages have arrived. If anything, it seems to me like not answering could actually end up worse." Sleak noted.. He moved in front of her, and grabbed her hands. "Not struggling, huh.. Torch.. No, Victoria. Look at yourself. You're struggling right now.." He sighed.
"It sounds easy because it is. The only thing holding you back seems to be a mental state.. Have you even read the messages?.. Are you really okay with this?"

No, no it’s not just by answering the message! It’s in the long run that would affect her..
But Victoria couldn’t say anything. Even if she willed to, Sleak had already stepped in front of her, causing her to pause her thinking again. She had to admit, his using her full name caused her to be more attentive, to look up like a child being called on.. When did he ever really use that?
Are you really okay with this?
Torch had to look away at that. Never mind their proximity nor the fact he was holding onto her, she knew she was being stubborn and she could only feel the mix of embarrassment and frustration rise to her face.
Of course she wasn’t okay with this. She wanted to feel free do do as she pleased. And yet, “well that depends..” she started quietly, “Am I more concerned about her future or mine? ...I’ve read her messages. She knows I’m ignoring her. ...she just doesn’t know why.” the last part was barely audible, as if she were holding herself back from another sob. Guilt.

.. Getting somewhere... But.. Doubt was starting to form in Sleak's mind. Should he really be going this far? Maybe there really is something bad.. Maybe this. Maybe that. Maybe.. "..Maybe she deserves to know why, then. Maybe she should draw her own conclusions from that.." Maybe that was the worst Sleak could've said. But say he had.

Victoria chose to keep her focus away. Of course she deserves to know why! So why was her mind going against it? The truth was always for the best for anyone, bad or good, but, “What if it makes things worse? Worse than just not knowing?”

Sleak definitely didn't have all the answers. After all, he had more questions than anything right now, but it was obviously the wrong time to ask any. "There's no way of knowing that. But not doing anything.. inaction... That's just letting things waste away."

Torch bit her lip. That’s also a true answer.. and something she couldn’t think against without sounding outright stubborn. More than she already assumed she was anyways. A moment of silence passes by and she takes a step to the side, only lightly brushing past him. “...I’ll think about it.” She brought a palm up to her face, wiping away any lingering tears she realized had escaped, “...sorry about uh.. brushing you off earlier. I didn’t mean to.. really..”

Sleak let go of Torch's hands as he noticed her contemplating his words.. And biting her lip in the process. He was about to comment on that, but her moving away snapped him out of that thought. "I'd suggest you just go for it. Just a reply by text, you could pretty much do it right now." He shook his head. "But.. I can't force you. Just advise you." Sleak looked at Torch for a moment.. Just a single moment to think things over. ".. And I'd say it's fine, but.. You should rely on your friends more. Rely on me more. I may have my own problems to deal with, but I have help with those.. You.. Considering you named yourself the problem, I should assume you can't even help yourself. So please rely on me."

Torch only nodded to the advice. But she’d have to really prepare herself before doing something like that.. Around halfway through his talking, Victoria would turn partially toward Sleak with a hand holding her arm. Watching him as if making sure these words were coming from him. She grew a bit of a sad smile afterwards, “Pretty strong for willing to take on a problem like me, keh..” she turned to continue the walk, “...I’ll try. I mean I haven’t chased you off yet so I must be doing something right.”

"Well, y'know, if I can handle the whims of the old coots running this city, I can handle the whims of a silly inkling." Sleak gave a soft smile, though something inside of him was still bothered by this all. He felt more than just a desire to help. Even though their situations were vastly different, Sleak still felt as if there was a parallel to his own life there. But like she said, he mostly ended up in situations- not causing them. And not knowing the details behind Victoria's situation made things harder to evaluate.. Sleak mostly wondered if he did the right then, pushing her to contact the other. Who was this girl Torch was ignoring anyway? Literally the only 'she' he .. technically didn't know was her cousin, this.. Paisley? But last she spoke of her... They seemed to have an okay relationship..? Hmm.. Probably not her, then..
"You'll be fine, Torch.. And if you need help, I'm here for you." Then again, what did he know, other than what Torch told him.. Months ago... with not a word about her since... What.. what did he actually know about Torch... He shook his head. Unimportant right now. "So.. you want to watch the eclipse?"

She managed to huff out a chuckle with his response. Silly inkling... Suppose she came off as one despite everything. And she seemed to relax some with his reassurance. It was comforting. Albeit only added more anxiety to what he might think later if- when more truths were spilled.
Just.. enjoy the now. She didn't want to think about any more stresses.. Though Sleak's question caught her off guard. "uh. .. do you?" idly Torch rubbed her arm lightly, stealing a glance at the other before looking to the sky, "I mean I don't have anything better to do.."

"Well, I did kinda came out here because it was some sort of public event..." Sleak looked up for a moment. "But.. To be entirely honest.. I'm not sure if I'm all that interested, eheh.." And there went the hand of awkwardness, off to rub the back of his head. "Ah well, I did bring binoculars.. Because I'm woefully unprepared and I don't have a telescope or whatever.. It IS kinda crazy that the moon is red like this.. Don't need anything to see that change." He looked at Torch. "If anything, I'm glad I decided to go, even if I never ended up at the event site."

She couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle with the ‘woefully unprepared’ note. Even more so with the last comment, making her look back with a lopsided grin, “snrrk because I bet seeing me cry is quite a feat, right?” He could’ve meant anything else. But that was her line of defense: sarcasm. Because the other thought she tried to ignore made her face flush a little.

Pff, that was not what he intended at all. But.. "Certainly is, feels like I've unlocked some secret achievement. Wonder how much points it'll be on my gamerscore." Sleak stated, with an obvious joking tone and following it up with sticking his tongue out. "Nah.. I'm just glad I finally let you know you can rely on me. Wasn't much I could help you with before, except invite you to burgers or lunch and pay your bill.. Which you sometimes sneakily manage to pay for before I can.."

“Ha, ha.” Oozing with sarcasm in turn of the joke. But she still gave a smile and turned her attention forward again. “I’ll be honest. That’s half out of spite. And half of trying to be a good friend and not waste your money on my bad habit all the time.” Torch gave a small shrug, “it’s funny to do nonetheless~” She looked to the sky for a moment, and with a couple more steps the girl dropped to her knees, leaning back on her heels. “Here.” Torch looked about them, “suppose this is a good spot as any to watch this thing.”

"Well, as long as you actually eat.." Sleak shrugged. He followed her on until she stopped and sat down.. And sat down besides her, cross-legged. "I guess.." He looked up... "...So uh.." He took out the binoculars he mentioned before he had. "..You.. want to use these? Or..?" Considering he had already stated that he wasn't actually all that interested and kinda just went along with the flow, he shouldn't feel awkward right now. Yet, there it was. An awkward feeling.

“Mmmnah.” Torch shifted her weight some, so now she’d be propping herself up with an arm as she studied the sky. “I’d rather see the big picture. Might give me ideas for later, I dunno.” She shrugged. Would’ve been more practical had she brought any painting tools with her. But with the waves of emotions from the prior talk exhausting her, she couldn’t think of anything else to do. She looked to the side at the other, “‘nless you have a better idea than to sit here.”

"Go home and order a pizza?" Sleak looked at her as she looked at him. "...What?" He blinked. "...That said, though.. what do you mean, ideas for later?" He turned to look at the sky for a moment. "..It's all.. colorful and the like, but.. perhaps I'm missing something.. I have no idea how this would help me with turf war or anything.." He mumbled something about maybe a moon-themed stage, but the fact he shook his head afterwards made it clear he shot that idea down immediately.

“That actually sounds ideal,” she snorted, “wonder how many places are open for a delivery right now..” Torch’s gaze returned to the scenery, tilting her head to one side so it was resting on her shoulder, “well if it was to help for turf, it’d help me find some kind of zen I guess, heh.. I uh, paint.” She looked to the side as of so see Sleak’s reaction, see if he understood, “like pictures on a canvas?”

"Uuugh, right, I bet nothing is open.. Ehhh.. I think I have a pizza in the freezer, but that's never as good as getting one delivered fresh." Sleak rolled his eyes and sulked for a moment. He blinked as Torch mentioned painting. "I uh, paint too." He understood. "...turf. I paint the turf. Usually in one uniform color." ..maybe not. "Jokes aside: Huh. Didn't expect that. So you sing, you paint.. What other creative outlet are you good at?" Sleak paused for a moment, as his mouth dropped open. "Wait. Wait wait wait wait WAIT! YOU.. Torch, you know the starving artist thing is a TROPE, right? Not something you should actually do?!" Though the way he spoke sounded like actual worry and his face seemed to be displaying it as well.. The smirk that was slowly forming afterwards.. He was joking.

She blinked at the initial answer, didn’t expect him to— oh. A chuckle escaped to that. “Oh uh..” There she looked away, thankful it was dark so the bashful color on her face wasn’t too noticeable. good.
Yeah no she wasn’t used to that kind of compliment to things she didn’t really share. Fighting’s one thing, this was another.. She snapped out of it though, with Sleak’s exclaiming. So much as to turn a bit wide eyed, raking her brain for some kind of explanation. I mean, she wasn’t aiming to follow this trope! But she’s managing fine, right? It’s not like she’s out in the streets or wh- And then she registered the smirk. And after a blink or two she gave a playful shove, wearing a smile of her own, “give me a reason not to smack you upside the head right now.”

"..I'm the one with the pizza in his freezer?" Sleak countered.

“Guess I’ll just starve.”

"Okay, now I feel like I should smack you. With the frozen pizza. And THEN I'll heat it up in the oven."

“That’s so rude! ...to the pizza!”

"Please value yourself higher than pizza, Torch.. especially a frozen one.." Sleak stated.. "..Though, I guess.. if it were a FRESH pizza.."

“That would be plain disrespectful... to the pizza.” She quickly added the last bit before getting herself up and dusting herself off, as if trying to pester with the subject.

"S'true." Sleak nodded in agreement. "Buuuut since I only have the frozen one, we'll have to make do."

“Food is food.” She turned, extending a hand offering to help up the other. “Especially if ya haven’t since lunch.”

"Didn't we JUST discuss this...?" He shook his head, and took Torch's hand to get up. "You gotta eat.. Come on, guess you get to see my house."

“It was a big lunch! That I happened to not feel hungry after.” After helping the guy up she gestured to go first, “lead the way~”

"I am rolling my eyes at you, Torch. ROLLING THEM SO HARD." Sleak stated, while.. not.. actually rolling his eyes. "..Come on, it's this way."