Damen Capella's Links
“Scar's re-entry into my life has been bittersweet at best. I want to trust Scarlett, I really do- but man, does she make it hard. She's quiet, she's always been quiet- and it's usually because she doesn't want to be heard when she goes in to stab you in the back. But she's my only sister, I have to love her. And sure, she might be dad's favorite because she's usually all reserved and can do math, but that doesn't mean she's that much better than me… right?”
“...My father had poor taste in making him the favorite. He's impulsive, cowardly, and would rather drown himself in booze and pussy instead of working on himself, but whatever. Part of loving your family is accepting that you kind of hate them. …And I do love my brother, …even though he is a pathetic, weak-minded whore.”
“I liken Oliver to a feral chimp or like a poorly socialized pet cat: she's mean as shit, has terrible manners, the palette of a toddler, and you can't look her in the eyes or else she might go ape. Obviously, she's fucked up and I feel bad for her, but she sucks the life outta me and clips her fuckin’ toenails on my coffee table! She's lucky I'm too weak to kick her out. And I'm not a sniper, I used to do sharp-shooting. I'm practically a sideshow act, not some trained killer.”
“Like honestly, his talent is wasted on someone as whiny and touchy-feely as he is. But like, him being the way he is is kinda useful for me right now, so it's whatever. I don't expect any normal idiot to understand how our relationship works, so I'll explain- he's my dog. My stupid, idiot dog. He's a total moron- he saved me without even thinking! Idiots like that are like, idiots you shouldn't let go of. Unless you get a cooler idiot. Although it might be like, kinda hard finding another idiot who's a sniper…”
“Ror's a triple threat: she's smart as shit, hot, and one of the nicest people I know. Hell, I could even listen to her nag at me all day. What uh, what we had was really special and I can't really forget about that. Yeah, she might be banging frecklefuck, but you never know what could happen- she'll need someone to turn to when shit hits the fan. Even if she does happen to fall for that guy, I'm not going to not be around. I mean, ideally, she'd take me back sooner, but if I have to wait I will. Until then, I get to be friends with her, which is still pretty sweet most of the time.”
“Damen's one of my best friends since high school. While our romantic relationship was er… less than stellar, I really value our friendship. He's a pretty sensitive guy and the last couple of years have been kind of difficult for him, so he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes. However, underneath the thorns, there's still a really sweet guy who will always be there for you when you need it. I do wish he'd listen to me and reach out to at least one of the therapists I recommended to him, because my therapist was telling me that I should stop being his therapist and that I don't have the means to bring him back to his old self… and I hate to admit it, but I think she's right. Although I do feel a little guilty sometimes. Just a little.”
“My old man's a prick, there's no pleasing him- ever! Bet he had some pretty flowery words about me for the interviewer, though. …He's not gonna see this, right? Like this is off-record?”
"Damen and his sister are both very bright in their own regard. It's unfortunate, but he's been in a bit of a rough spot the past few years and as a parent, it's so challenging to watch your child struggle. At least he knows that he has a family who loves him."
"Oh you mean the Capella family's very own Real Housewife? Yeah, I don't mind Narcisa and sometimes, she can be pretty entertaining- her threshold for gossip is larger than her fake tits."
"You know, I told Vince he was gonna smother one of those kids until they broke and voila, there we have it. Just wait till you hear what his sister told me-"
"You know what's underneath that head of beautiful hair? Nothing. Zilch. I mean don't get me wrong, he's not shitty just... annoying. I don't need him to tell me the same damn story over and over again and give me advice on how to relax."
"My cousin is actually a pretty nice guy underneath it all. He really should learn to relax, but it's like that thing they say about horses."
"Uncle Artie is a nice guy and all but god does he send the weirdest shit to my email."
"My nephew is a good kid. Yeah, my brother is hard on him sometimes, but only because he knows how successful he could be- Vince says he's in a rut right now, but I'm confident he'll pull through!"
"I'm sorry, but I do not want to be near that fuckin' turd. I don't need to hear any of the 'but he's family' bullshit, I renounced any and all relation as soon as he fuckin' diarrhea poisoned me on christmas. Oh and did you know that the little shit totally killed Santino's hamster? Who knows, the psycho probably escalated to people by now. Fuckin' mouth-breathing prick."
"Ha, that bitch could never take a prank to save his life. He and his bitch sister always act like they're better than me, so yeah I had to knock them down a peg."
“He's kinda like Shrek when he turned human, but with the personality of a doormat. That guy has virtually no conviction and you can talk him into almost anything- it's funny really. Deadass, I convinced him to eat a spliff once and he actually did it! Which by the way, funny how he'd eat that but won't ever touch anything I cook. He says he's allergic. Pfft yeah sure.”
“Ror's a very, very patient and sentimental person. I don't think I'd have the patience or energy to deal with someone like him, especially not in the way Ror handles him. I do kinda wonder why they're so close, I mean I'm pretty sure he's still in love with her. N-not that I'm saying who she should and shouldn't be friends with, but he is kinda… unpleasant. It also kinda feels like he's trying to poison me...?"
"This motherfucker deadass stalked Oliver and the crazy bitch keeps him around as an ego-boost."
"Somehow, that tech-illiterate ape is living the harem anime dream. If only he could appreciate it."
“Carrie Guerrero is the human equivalent of stepping barefoot on a lego. She's spiteful, mean, bitchy, and I really feel like it's fucked up how she has both anger issues and a black belt. Someone like her shouldn't be allowed to practice martial arts, there's gotta be some kind of law prohibiting that, right? Like, ‘no person determined to be a psycho bitch is lawfully permitted to enter a dojo until cleared by a psychiatric professional,’ or someshit. I'll workshop that, but what I mean to say is that I think she sucks and Ror shouldn't be friends with her.”
"Ugh, you mean wasted opportunity incarnate? Yeah, I know him, he dated my best friend on and off for way too long. I know they're friends or whatever, but I never liked him. He forced his way into our friend group to get into Ror's pants, and I'm not convinced it's any different now. But seriously! I mean, imagine getting handed a free springboard into success and throwing it away like it's nothing, just in pursuit of some pathetic little pity party. He's annoying, manipulative, and seems to think he's the only sad, lonely fuck in the world. I think Ror's quality of life would improve if she cut that tumor off.”
"I hesitate on saying 'MILF' because as far as mothering goes, this bitch does the bare fuckin mimimum. Egg-donor I'd like to fuck? I dunno, doesn't have a good ring to it."
"Faye's new boy toy or whatever. Thinks he's better than me. Why don't he try being a parent and learn first-hand how shitty it is."
"I think she's the closest thing Oliver has to a parent, which makes sense given that she's fucking terrifying."
"I've got my eye on that spindly sunofabitch."
"Yeah I'm gonna be real with you, it's not physically possible to be drunk enough to tolerate him. His words feel like a brillo pad on my brain."
"I think he's just sore cause I'm hanging out with his ex's boyfriend. But if Damen wants to miss out on a sick DnD session that's his loss!"
"He's another one of Ror's pet projects. I don't know why you think I'm intimidated by a doormat- I mean, yeah, he and Ror are pretty close, but I'm not uncomfortable with it. Would I maybe like to spend more time with her? Of course. But like I said, I'm not jealous or anything, just... Okay fine, maybe I'm a little bitter, but I repeat, I'm not intimidated by that fuckin' velveteen rabbit looking ass."
"Damen always gives me these... weird glares whenever he's around Aurora and I. Oh, god does he think we're a thing or something?"
"While that fucker and my sister are off doing god knows what, I take a hit of the weed I bought off them and lo and behold, I did not blink for 2 whole hours. I think that bitch gave me crack."
"One time I gave Damen crack because he was rude to Scarlett. I know they're siblings but jesus fucking christ!"
"I don't know why she has such a hate boner for me, I've been so nice to that bird bitch. Okay well, maybe not that nice, but I'm a helluva lot sweeter to her than she is to yours truly."
"What to say about this waste of D.N.A? I see right through him. He walks around with this 'woe, is me' complex unable to take accountability nor responsibility for his fuck ups. The only good thing he has going for him is his sweetheart of a sister. How Scarlett was able to grow up with that doofus is beyond me