Faye Oliver's Links
"The egg donor seems to think that I like, owe her something for being born. And like, honestly, she owes me- I gave her something to do other than trashy ass men. I'm like, the best thing that ever happened to that wench."
"Yeah, that one's mine alright. Don't look at me like that, it's not like I raised the kid to be some like, terrorist or something. Like, what, would you rather I had an abortion? Didn't fuckin' think so, prick."
“Like honestly, his talent is wasted on someone as whiny and touchy-feely as he is. But like, him being the way he is is kinda useful for me right now, so it's whatever. I don't expect any normal idiot to understand how our relationship works, so I'll explain- he's my dog. My stupid, idiot dog. He's a total moron- he saved me without even thinking! Idiots like that are like, idiots you shouldn't let go of. Unless you get a cooler idiot. Although it might be like, kinda hard finding another idiot who's a sniper…”
“I liken Oliver to a feral chimp or like a poorly socialized pet cat: she's mean as shit, has terrible manners, the palette of a toddler, and you can't look her in the eyes or else she might go ape. Obviously, she's fucked up and I feel bad for her, but she sucks the life outta me and clips her fuckin’ toenails on my coffee table! She's lucky I'm too weak to kick her out. And I'm not a sniper, I used to do sharp-shooting. I'm practically a sideshow act, not some trained killer.”
“when I first met her, I totally thought she was Damen's like, estranged wife or something. His sister said they've been broken up for like 4 years, so it's super weird how dependent he is on her. It's like she has this vice grip on his balls or something. She also has this like, whole sweet, defenseless little act and somehow everyone is buying it! But like, no one is that nice, right?”
“I think Faye's been through a lot and that she needs a good, strong role model and some emotional support, which she's certainly not going to get from Damen alone. I want to help her as best I can, but I really feel like she's pushing back against me. Which is totally fine! I know things take time, I'm trauma informed- I went to a seminar.”
“Damen's d*** sister is a total drag. She like, drives around on her stupid Yamaha acting all cool and mysterious, smoking her dumb Turkish Royals like she's better than all of us or whatever. She won't even let me ride on it! Like, Damen seems to think she's on our side, but like, I can't trust her. She's also like, weirdly protective of him. Like hello, incest much? Ugh. I wanna blow her up.”
“Let's just say… if I was the one in Damen's position, I would have walked away. I think the world would be better off that way. …She called me a what? …can't say I'm surprised.”
"Grams taught me like, the coolest shit as a kid and hello? Gave me my workshop and like, half my tools? Lucinda is honestly like, not half bad."
"Are you a cop or state shrink? Leave my squirrel alone, she doesn't hurt anyone who doesn't have it coming."
"Like, just because he hacked into my shit doesn't mean he's smarter than me, okay?!"
"Faye is best girl and I will die on that hill."
"Ugh god, what's with all these redditors flocking to me. Like, you know what he said to me the other day? Instead of being like, a normal person telling me he liked my outfit, this social r****d deadass said, 'Take my upvote, epic sir!' Ugh, gag!"
"Yeah, I pretty much used the best line on her."
"He's weak and natural selection is like, 100% coming for him. At least he keeps Aurora out of my hair."
"... I don't like saying this about many people, but she really unnerves me."
"Lou says the haggard bitch might put me in the will if I play my cards right and like, I hope she's right because if not, I've wasted like, two holidays playing pretend with that jesus freak."
"The girl is undoubtedly troubled, but I can tell she has potential. All I can do is pray that she doesn't end up like her mother."
"LIKE, STOP WHISPERING AT ME ALL CREEPY LIKE AND GIVE ME THE FUCKING CLOAK AGAIN, YOU FURBALL!"
"Dont get me started on this one. Normally I try to push beings into doing vile things, but....she's a natural psychopath. She would be a very interesting soul, but that forehead is a challenge to wrap around."