Profile
socially awkward •
anxious •
compassionate
ABOUT
- 金美人 (Jin: gold; Měirén: beauty/beautiful person)
- eldest princess of the royal Phoenix family; she is the smartest of the Jin children, but she's also the kindest; her soft heart and emotions can muddle her thinking
- comes from a family of strategists and tacticians, so she's always thinking steps ahead; however, she's plagued with anxiety and prone to getting lost in her spiraling thoughts
- is the only one of her siblings who can beat her brother, crown prince Xun, at strategy games (though she's convinced he lets her win)
- spent most of her days at the palace studying and playing puzzles with her lady-in-waiting, Như Vân, and personal guard, Lu Fei
- it's not known, but she actually has the potential to be the strongest of the Jin family; she has great but unrefined magical power
- her large hairstick looks impractical and is naturally very heavy, but she uses it as a training tool for her magic and concentration; she channels her qi into it in order to make it lighter, which requires a lot of focus and discipline
- deeply spiritual and superstitious
- demisexual but doesn't realize it; she thinks she's just too shy and awkward to function like a "normal" person
- themes: morning/dawn, spring, snow, clear waters
- puzzles
- reading
- gardening
- literature
- washing Wei's hair
- crowded places
- being the center of attention
ghosts, demons, bad spiritsShhh! Don't even mention such things!- messes, dirtiness, filth... she's a clean freak
- Introverted — Since she was neglected and left to her own devices for most of her life, Meiren is used to the quiet. She's incredibly awkward around other people and often slips out of conversations whenever she can. She would much prefer the peace of reading in a garden than having to socialize with others — how is she supposed to know what to say or what to do with her hands anyway? Meiren only confides in a few people and she feels that's enough to keep her occupied. Anything more and she feels overwhelmed.
- Anxious — She doesn't realize it, but she has an almost crippling anxiety. Meiren's thoughts are pretty much constantly racing as her mind turns over each detail of every memory again and again and again. When she focuses, her attention to detail makes her a fantastic tactician and strategist just like the rest of her family; however, she also struggles with overthinking and gets stressed out easily... but Meiren tries her best to keep it all to herself. For most of her life, she assumes this is how everyone's mind works and that everyone else must just handle it better than her.
- Soft — Of her siblings, Meiren is easily the kindest. Even though the servants also treated Meiren with a more hands-off approach, everyone in the palace knows she is the most pleasant of the royal family to deal with. Is it because she doesn't speak a lot or ask for much? Yes, mostly. But she's also the most polite and soft spoken. Meiren has never demanded anything of the servants or so much as raised her voice at someone for making a mistake. Meiren has a mysterious and ghost-like presence in the palace, and she's only assigned a few specific servants, but the servants generally don't mind tending to Meiren. She has a genuine concern for those around her even if they're strangers and Meiren can be considered the type of person who has a bleeding heart.
- Insecure — It wasn't hard for Meiren to overhear the rumors surrounding her faded coloring while also hearing all of the praises and love others heaped upon her beautiful and clever siblings. She believes herself to be an unfortunate person to look at — pale and dull compared to other Phoenixes — and an even more unfortunate person to be around because she isn't charismatic or warm and lovely like everyone else in her family. She's always known she isn't the most beautiful of the Jins or even the smartest of the Jins — she's the mistake of the family. She's just a little white speck on the vibrant tapestry of the royal family. In truth, Meiren is actually quite brilliant and she has many creative ideas and solutions for problems, but she never quite has the confidence to voice her opinions or make herself heard. She was never worth her parents' time or attention — and shouldn't your parents be the ones who love you the most in the world? — so it certainly doesn't cross Meiren's mind that she is worth anyone's time or attention.
- Noble — She is a deeply and painfully noble person who takes her responsibilities to great extremes. She seems to think her existence only revolves around her duties as a princess — as if fulfilling her duties is her only use and purpose in life. Meiren is willing to throw aside all of her own desires for the sake of what she believes to be her responsibilities; she'll do anything for her family and "the good of the people." She believes that as a royal, she isn't allowed the luxury of ever being selfish.
- Observant — Aside from being a wallflower who is always listening in the background, Meiren has been deeply aware of the things going on around her for as long as she can remember. Even as a small child, she quickly recognized how her parents treated her differently from not only her older brother but from... everyone and everything else. This was confirmed when she innocently asked Xun why their parents didn't love her — she still remembers the confused and shocked expression on his face to this day. Even though her sharp eyes and long memory come in handy when it comes to strategizing, it also torments her at the worst times when her mind decides to agonize over why so-and-so's left eyebrow twitched a fraction upwards when they said this-and-that to her.
- Spiritual — Birds are generally superstitious, but Meiren falls into her spirituality to great degrees. She believes deeply in manifestation and this can result in her keeping her negative thoughts to herself too often. She frequently prays and insists on having objects blessed to ward off bad spirits. Do not mention ghosts in her presence.
- Loving — Although it takes her a long time to warm up to Wei, and her insecurities and burdens keep her from accepting her feelings for him, she only grows more and more in love with him with each passing day. Meiren only has eyes for Wei and he is the last person she'll ever trust again in this lifetime. After almost losing him three times, she now seems to exist in a constant honeymoon phase with Wei and showers him with affection every chance she gets; she's determined to hold onto him for the rest of her life. Birds take the concept of soulmates very seriously and so it can be seen as flippant and blasphemous for young Birds to declare someone as their soulmate — it's not a word Birds use lightly. However, Meiren absolutely believes Wei is her soulmate; she's never been more sure of something in her entire life.
- Lawful good — Growing up as a royal has also sheltered her from the horrors of poverty and suffering, and although she still thinks committing any sort of crime is... less than ideal... she does grow to understand the lengths some must go through in order to survive.
- Acts of service, quality time — In her culture, grooming and tending to another person's hair is reserved for only family or one's romantic partner, so Meiren takes it very seriously. She revels in washing and brushing Wei's hair, enjoying how much it puts her at peace. The reverse is also true and makes her feel incredibly happy and safe.
- shunned and neglected by her parents due to her "faded" and "sickly" coloring; her parents believe Meiren is a symbol of their grief from losing their firstborn shortly before Meiren was born
- realized from a young age her parents didn't love her (at least not in the same way they loved her siblings)
- spent most of her days at the palace studying and playing puzzles with her lady-in-waiting, Như Vân, and personal guard, Lu Fei; learned how to keep to herself
- knows a lot of random bits of information and skills due to having so much time to study on her own
- despite being treated poorly by her family, she still has a great sense of duty and responsibility as a princess and is willing to set her own desires and happiness aside for the sake of her nation and family name
- she doesn't protest her parents marrying her off to the Dog nation emperor despite knowing life in the Dog nation would be difficult... assuming she even survives the trip through the hostile Dragon nation
- gets betrayed, loses those closest to her in a bloody fight, gets stuck with a mangy street dog who is tasked with delivering her to the Dog nation, and spends the next year going through many hardships and near-death experiences
- falls in love with said mangy street dog, is prepared to say goodbye to him for the sake of her duty as a princess, finds out in a plot twist that said mangy street dog is actually a long-lost prince, gets married, more dramatic stuff happens, lives happily ever after
WARDROBE [view full gallery]
RELATIONSHIPS
"Are...a-are you happy...?"
They met under the worst possible circumstances and she spent their first few weeks together in a mostly unresponsive state due to her fear and grief, but Meiren quickly figured out her new escort seemed to be all bark and no bite with her. Although they had vastly different upbringings and perspectives on life, she was sympathetic and became accustomed to Wei's vulgarities, quickly learning his quirks and how to handle and speak to him. She came to realize even though he was rude and rough around the edges, he genuinely paid attention to her and listened to what she had to say; he was surprisingly very understanding and patient with her insecurities and anxieties. At some point, she found all of his grumbling and growling endearing in a quirky kind of way.
Due to her strong sense of duty and responsibility as a royal, she was constantly trying to bury her growing feelings for him, but eventually gave in with the hopes of getting to enjoy a few slivers of happiness together. The greatest heartbreak of her life came when she still ultimately chose her royal duties over him and said her goodbyes. He was her first love, and they were fated to meet but not destined to stay together.
It was likely destiny's doing when Wei's lineage as the long-lost prince of the Dog nation was revealed and the two were quickly married. The second greatest heartbreak of her life occurred when Wei left for war; she spent her days writing him letters and quietly going over and analyzing her memories of their time together, falling more and more in love with him during his absence. When Wei safely returned a year later, Meiren had figured out why he burned her up from the inside out — he was her soulmate.
Life on the run was difficult and dangerous and they had gone through one too many tragedies in their lives, but Meiren looks back on their time together with a bittersweet kind of fondness — she'd do it all again and again and again if it meant they'd be together in the end.
"...I won? Really? I beat you...? H-how?"
Xun is likely the only one in the Jin family who truly loves Meiren and cares about her well-being. He tried his best to make up for their parents' coldness, especially after hearing a young Meiren ask him what she had done wrong for their parents to not love her. As a child, she generally thought Xun was intimidating and pushed her too much, not realizing that he was only trying to help her meet her fullest potential — contrary to what their parents believed, Xun could see that Meiren had greatness in her. As adults, Xun has eventually learned to support Meiren with a gentler approach and he's one of the few people she can trust. She looks up to Xun and his calm and calculated demeanor, wishing she could be as elegant as him.
"Perhaps... that isn't the... um... best idea...?"
They spent very little time together as children, often playing with different things, in different places. Meiren thought of her sister as intimidating and a bit cruel. She didn't think she could keep up with Yueying's clever and bratty antics, and often found herself getting taken advantage of and being caught on the other end of Yueying's trickery. As adults, she's become more accustomed to rowdier behavior due to being around Dogs, and has a better understanding of how to get along with Yueying. She cares for her sister's well-being even if she doesn't quite understand Yueying's reason for doing the things that she does.
"Oh! Did you see that? The butterfly! Its color matches your feathers!"
He was first assigned as Xun's personal guard, but seeing that he got along so well with Meiren, Xun had Fei reassigned to Meiren. She loved Fei dearly and he acted as more of a father to her than her own. She grew up with him always by her side, whether it was during her lessons or even when she was just gardening. Fei was kind and understanding, and he always had gentle words ready for her whenever she was feeling down; however, due to their roles in life, he couldn't always be there for her in an emotional sense and he often chose his words carefully in order to be respectful. He always tried his best to reassure the quietly wilting princess, but he was never able to fully comfort her because of the clear boundaries between them as princess and guard.
However, he was the one who told Meiren that the sun rose in her eyes; to this day, her eyes are the only physical feature she feels most confident with. Meiren blames herself for his death, thinking that if she hadn't called out for him, Fei wouldn't have gotten distracted and mortally wounded when their carriage was ambushed by enemies. As he died in her arms, she clung to him, refusing to leave. For the rest of her life, Meiren still sometimes looks for butterflies in her garden despite knowing that the kind her and Fei would admire together aren't native to the Dog nation.
"Ah... um... this is... it's for you. I-if you want it, that is...!"
He was the young, handsome Dragon guard who had been assigned to Meiren in recent years due to his soft-spoken nature. He was charismatic and well-liked by everyone around him. Minh was highly skilled for someone of his age and his peers found his coming up story inspiring; his family lost everything when the Dragon nation closed its borders, but they ultimately chose to stay in the Bird nation and rebuild their family name. Meiren may have been slightly smitten with him in her youth due to how kind he was toward her. She assumed he had been killed alongside the rest of her attendants during the ambush, but when her and Wei miraculously happened upon Minh deep in the Dragon nation, she was ecstatic to see a familiar face. She ignored the inconsistencies in his story and any feelings of suspicion she had due to her loyalty and fond feelings for him. When it's revealed Minh was the one who had sold her out to the Dragon nation in the first place, she's devastated, but not as mortified as when he personally stabs Wei before selling the two of them off to a labor camp. Feeling that she failed Wei due to her own soft heart and naïveté, Meiren no longer trusts anyone outside of her family and Wei after that day. She doesn't know what becomes of Minh, but, either way, she refuses to speak of him again.
"What was it you told me the other day? 'Progress not perfection'?"
She was the closest thing Meiren had to a best friend. Như Vân encouraged Meiren's more creative tendencies and always had cheerful words of encouragement for her. Despite being a rather private person, Meiren still considered Như Vân her confidante in some ways; Meiren, of course, still kept most of her insecurities and negative emotions to herself, though, and due to the boundaries between their titles, Như Vân never pried or pressed Meiren too deeply. She'd only do the best she could to support Meiren whenever the princess asked for help. The two were often seen together with Như Vân happily chattering away to fill the quiet spaces.
Meiren had her reservations about bringing Như Vân along with her to the Dog nation; adjusting to a new culture would be isolating and difficult, and Meiren didn't want to take Như Vân away from her homeland, but the ever positive attendant assured Meiren it would be alright — it was an adventure for the two of them and they'd stick together! Unfortunately, when trying to help Meiren escape during the ambush, Như Vân was killed. Meiren has nightmares about the incident, wishing that she could've stayed by her friend's side as Như Vân drew her last breaths.
"You can have it..."
They barely interact. She used to think her little brother was a bit spoiled and would grow up to be like Yueying since he was always following her (and getting bullied). Whenever Meiren witnessed one of his tantrums, she would promptly make her exit because she knew she'd just get hit if she tried to calm him down. Meiren is surprised to learn that her brother grew up to be the quiet and artistic type.
"Y-yes..."
Her own parents are basically strangers to her. She was born after the eldest Jin daughter's sudden death and the emperor and empress believe their sadness cursed Meiren, causing her pale and ghostly coloring. From a young age, Meiren was left to be raised by the servants because seeing Meiren would only make her parents feel guilty. She recognized that they didn't love her, at least not the way she loved her older brother, and once her younger siblings were born, she knew for sure that her very existence was a stain on the sparkling reputation of the Jin family. Despite being treated like an afterthought, Meiren has a deep loyalty to her family name, possibly due to a deep desire to finally be seen and validated. She'll do anything her parents ask of her no matter what.
