- Created
- 10 months, 19 days ago
- Creator
- SystemRaboot
- Favorites
- 6
Profile
Basics
Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust Tell me I am good enough
A red ticked tabby molly with a white chin, paws and tail tip and green eyes.
Likes
- Gardening
- Soft Textures
- Pastel Colors
- Singing
Dislikes
- Fighting (Any Kind)
- The Cold
- Blood
- Loud Noises
Stats
PERSONALITY
Vixen is a submissive cat who tries to not take up space despite her physical bulk. She does her best to be kind and has an interest in things that grow. She isn't the most socially smart cat around however and can easily be made to do things she doesn't wish to out of not wanting to fight. When she isn't scared out of her mind, Vixen has been showing an interest in the life of a housepet...
A gentle giant, Vixen only knows how to be awkward and anxious. Despite her massive size she is quite the pushover, it being rather easy to get her to do as one wishes. A follower who has problems sticking up for herself. Looking at the muttering, socially awkward cat Vixen is today perhaps it would be easy for one to forget that in her youth she was quite the problem.
She was a distant cat who was rather a pawful to handle, even what some would describe as rude, someone who seemed to like to pick fights and get defensive over the smallest things, now seeming to go in the other extreme as of late being rather submissive and soft-spoken, her head and body hunched to appear smaller than she is. However signs of Vixen's awkward behavior were always there, which is how she always struggled speaking during the Sharpening of the Claws, sometimes saying things that appear to be rude, too blunt, not specific enough or any number of problems.
Despite the Colony's teaching her own guilt seems to overpower any sort of pride she might have in her fighting prowess, as well as her unusual squeamishness when it comes to other cats, despite the whole culture being around such things, Vixen notably hates the idea of sharp things near the faces and limbs of other cats or large amounts of blood, trying to force that down when she was acting out seemingly making it worse when the high of emotions crashed. Yet at the same she strangely preferred grave upkeep and creation over fighting. She avoided any situation where she'd end up in the Feud Pit like the plague.
Vixen likes to cling to what she knows, whatever friends she has, as well as her sister when she was around, being mainly what she sticks to, finding it frightening to try and branch out, often letting other cats speak for her regardless of if it is what she truly believes, simply for the fact it means she doesn't have to do it.
This even extends to things she dislikes, simply because change is rather terrifying to her, seeing the world as tottering on the edge and fearing if one more change may make everything topple down like a powerful and deadly surge of rocks. The only reason she left from the colony in the first place was because others left as well, the falling of the home she knew causing her to chase after the fragments she did. However she is cautious and despite following along she is unsure about where they will end up, antsy to get to a stable place.
To be nice about it, Vixen is dense to say the least. Things that aren't clear, slang, flirting and jokes tend to go right over her head and into the ocean. It's rather easy to confuse her or have her take something the wrong way with how much simply just doesn't process in that orange brain of hers. She tries her hardest, but it doesn't always work and to this day has trouble actually deciphering the meanings behind various things other cats say. Vixen often speaks softly and stumbles over her words, filling the void with a lot of "um"s and "uh"s.
Yet that isn't to say she's entirely brainless, just socially clueless. Vixen is actually rather introspective and tends to do a lot of thinking. Often in her head trying to decipher her feelings about the world. She takes comfort in the idea of the Rot. She enjoys the idea of an end that is known, at the end of the day even if the path is unclear the destination is stable and there and the Rot will probably not care for whatever she did in her youth. Vixen has a strong interest in things that grow from plants to fungi, secretly hoping that maybe one day they will have a long term enough home for her to grow her own. Something about the cycle itself mirrored in them soothing to her.
About
Born to a single molly named Astra who joined The Colony many moons before this point but was notably not born there, Vixen and her twin sister, Doe, were named after things from nature as Astra found the usually naming scheme of The Colony to be rather odd, brutish and garish in her secretly kept opinion.
From the start, Astra played favorites prioritized Doe over Vixen as Doe was the first born of the twins. Twisted from The Colony's true teachings, Astra's belief that pressure made diamonds came out rather... Unhealthy when it came to trying to get Vixen to meassure up to the qualities she believed Doe possessed. Whether or not Doe actually had such skills seemingly having no effect on the pressure she decided to rain down on Vixen.
As of result of Astra's methods, Vixen began to lash out and was known to be somewhat of a spitfire in her youth, earning her both the scars along her face from being quick to fight and her struggling to win her tallies at first due to being easily overstimulated and not having a proper grasp on her emotions. However eventually Vixen and Doe both earned their tallies and right to stay in the colony. One thing sticking from getting those scars on her face being that Vixen requested her tallies be marked along her back instead.
As the sisters aged and discontent in the group grew, Doe started to pull Vixen away from their mother, seeing how it made her sister act, the lack of pressure from her mother quickly morphing into anxiety on Vixen's part, feeling antsy in her own skin as she really had to think about her early days... And despite and of the Colony's teachings (The only ones she seemed to enjoy being the teachings about The Rot) she could only feel anxious about how other cats saw her and her displays as a youth, however little anyone would actually think about it. This only doubling when their beliefs about the groups clashed resulting in Astra pretty much disowning the sisters, Astra siding with the Keepers out of believing they were well in their right to treat these cats in whatever way seeing as they raised them all and, perhaps more importantly, wanting some of that power for herself.
While Vixen didn't miss her mother or her pressence the lack of it warped the entire foundation she stood on, leaving her scrambling to try and be something while their home situation proved to be unstable and she was surrounded by the discontent of others, including Doe's who very much was growing more and more distaste for the Keepers and their rule.
Perhaps the worst day of Vixen's life however was during what was known as "The Harshest Winter", her sister's more outgoing and vocal personality leading her to be exiled from The Colony, Vixen's submissive nature and hope from the Keepers to get her back on their side seeing Vixen able to stay, which Deer told her to, requesting her sister not follow her as she promised they'd meet again.
This mercy from the Keepers ended up backfiring as instead of siding with the Keepers and what had been normalcy for her, Vixen went to the rebellion, lacking the support of Doe making her side with what she believed were her sister's friends before her exile, and perhaps some of them where Vixen's friends as well. However all this fighting and death frightened her greatly as much as she took comfort in the Rot, all of this felt wrong to her especially with how often it was now happening. The last moons before the Colony split seeing Vixen doing her best to stay out of the way.
During that great seemingly final battle, her mother was one of the loyalists struck down. Despite everything that had occurred, at first she didn't want to leave... It was the knowledge that her sister was still out there coupled with realizing the home she once knew was gone that got her paws moving, even if the lack of a stable enviroment makes her anxieties rise. Today Vixen remains anxious and unsure how to interact with the cats around her, feeling guilty over how she acted in the past and lack of truly being able to make a choice.
However now she regrets leaving even more. The journey towards TimberClan is hardly a blip in her mind now that she's actually here. She feels not a single thing has gone right, the only positive being how she met a TimberClan molly named Cinnamoncloud. The clan now holds them prisoner for crimes the group didn't commit and more specifically events most of her travelling companions weren't even around to see. She feels unsafe and has hardly slept recently, too scared that her captors would hurt her if she fell asleep. All they wanted was a home, and all they got was a prison.
Links
Doe [ Sister ]
"I miss ya more everyday, Doe, where are ya? I just wanted to see ya once more before the end... Please don't let them take me before I can see ya again."
Cinnamoncloud [ Friend ]
"I don't want ya t' get hurt 'cause of me, but I don't want ya t' go away. Thank ya for bein' somethin' nice to come out of this nightmare."
Droplet [ Friend ]
"We're really alike aren't we...? There aren't many cats that deserve this mess less than ya. Ya've been a great friend t' make over the journey, I want more moons to really know ya. I want ya t' be able to jump in the rain and water again."
Hot Rod [ Friend ]
"Ya one of the most important cats in my life after Doe... I don't know how we ended up stuck t'gether, but I'm glad for it. Thank ya for trustin' me with ya son. I hope ya both make it out of here."
Tarmac [ Friend ]
"They are an odd one, but a friend either way. I gave 'em one of their tallies I remember that much. I'm glad they don't seem t' hate me for how I was when I was young... I'm glad I got t' really know 'em with the journey, I um, I hope ya can fly again soon."
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