neuvieh's Links
it’s kind of hard for me to explain how i feel about skully. nash and i briefly discussed him, but she definitely seemed to raise an eyebrow at the way i talked about our relationship. he is my patron, first and foremost, and also my friend, but she was definitely hinting toward the idea that maybe i am not truly understanding myself. it’s a bit frustrating, not knowing how i feel about someone who is important to me. and, unfortunately, i don’t think anyone else would be able to understand the way i feel. not only am i atrocious when it comes to my own emotions, but no one really gets skully either. i don’t know. i liked playing chicken with him in the water even if i was never going to be very good at it. i like it when he teases me, i like being around him. I wonder what a younger me thinks of all this. what my father thinks. i don’t suppose i could ask if he did something to me, in making our pact? cursed me in some way, maybe. i don’t know. i guess whatever happens, at least i am on his good side. i hope to remain there, if not more.
you're kind of pathetic. i like that
ruby seemed rather odd during dinner, but i can't place why. maybe it's just stress and concern for his family and village? we are having to jump through far too many hoops for the druids’ help, afterall, and it doesn't seem like they like tieflings either. plus.... i believe he died again in his trial room? he's having a rough time lately. i think i am starting to consider him a friend, and thus, i am worried about him, he's really going through it. i hope things get better for him. it might be hard to believe, but i am actually missing his upbeat demeanor. it was annoying before, but now the group feels rather lacking without it- something about not being grateful for what you have until it's gone, haha. he should cheer up though- i am sure things will turn out better than things did for my home.
I have to admire him for stepping up to speak to Torlana, it was good of him to do and I am certain that is thanks to Yalkar and Skully's influences on him. He needs their friendship after everything that happened in High Ever. I hope he can find peace and happiness with their help.
i think yalkar saved our lives? in the oakfather’s trials. i can’t be sure, i was very unwell and do not remember a thing, but i think he did something to free us. whatever it was, i am not surprised. I trust yalkar to get us through things with our skin still intact. since we had our fight in my father’s castle, and when he confronted me to apologize, i have felt as though it has been easier to understand him. he is a simple minded man, he wants to protect us. which… in the past, i might have thought it was stupid to have only one goal, but i don’t think yalkar is stupid. he is… straightforward, his desires are not as complicated as mine- that’s not a negative thing.
I do not know the trials Neuvieh had to face, but it was certainly a shock seeing him in such a.. manic state to say the least. He does not seem to recall that happening and for his sake it may be for the best. Though I doubt Nash and Noone will let him forget that. Neuvieh seems to also be getting along more with the other group members, which is refreshing to see. I am hoping he is able to become more comfortable with the group and perhaps he will begin to open up more. He does not seem so desperate for power and worth now, maybe something good has happened to him?
seren, the poor girl, seemingly went through the hells in her trial room- yalkar was worried about her. i should ask what she encountered. but, i think it’s nice he seems to like her so much, for whatever reason. maybe he sees someone familiar in her? i wouldn’t know. she’s been quiet as always, but that is what is endearing about her i suppose. she seemed to know the history of the druid camp, somehow, and i want to know if she read about it somewhere.
i almost wish i was able to take inari’s place, standing outside with tabby waiting for us to complete our trials rather than going through whatever the oak father had in store. i can’t imagine tabby would want me around though, not when she has her. tabby clearly has a deep affection for inari, though i am not sure if the paladin notices. she might be too dense to realize how comfortable tabby acts around her. would it be smart to mention something to her, or should i just let the fox learn in her own special way? i am undecided. i think for now i will just watch.
When Lolth warned me of Neuvieh’s fate I wasn’t thinking if I could’ve stopped it, or rather stop him from killing his own father, but moreso if I could save him from the consequences. I guess in a way now I didn’t have to, Yalkar having stolen that fate for himself, but I can’t imagine this bodes well for Neuvieh either. He’s lost his patron as well as most of his family now. I suppose in a way I know what that’s like, I just hope he knows he’s not alone, that there are still those of us who are choosing to be by his side.
noone and i were paired together for the oakfather’s first trial. somehow he convinced me to drink two of the three glasses with him- horrible mistake, really. afterwards, when we separated and went into our own individual doors, i remember walking into a library that looked very much like the one i spent most of my childhood in, and i remember a single book waiting for me to read, but after that… noone made it clear that i was not acting normal when we reunited. to my surprise, they seemed rather worried for me when i finally had my right mind again. to be honest, i did not know they were capable of caring for anyone but themself. it’s an… interesting feeling, knowing you got someone who almost never cares to worry for you. i think i could consider noone a friend. i’d hope they think similarly.
there is not much to say about the cat. i do wonder what his thoughts are on what has happened to us- and more importantly, if he will continue to travel with us. now that he has his soul back, i can't imagine him sticking around much longer despite everything. but maybe he will surprise me- he has already done such prior, in the short time we have known one another.
i feel bad for him after the events with Skully, though his brothers death must also certainly be hard for him. i wonder a little if this is his comeuppance for being born an elf and living in the lap of luxury, looking down on everyone else his whole life from his daddys throne. though Yalkar mentioned his family are bad people, so maybe his life hasnt been quite as soft and cushy as ive suspected. we'll see. i want to go to the elf city with him and figure it out
the more i learn about tabby, the more i find myself interested in who she is below the childish personality and smiles. there are times when she drops her facade and can be serious, understanding me better than i understand myself, and it always leaves me so... intrigued. like today, where she gave me her first wooden carving from her childhood and said it represented a new era of her life, and felt that it represented my new journey too. i wouldn’t expect such tender and delicate words from her, but she is seemingly understanding beyond her years. or, the age she looks, anyway. she is older than she first let on- she has lived many life times. being an elf means you watch the people you love fade away, and being a druid means you do so for even longer. i am sure tabitha has lost many people she loved. I can only hope our company fills that void for as long as possible. she is sweet… it reminds me of prys. she was right about what she said at dinner- i am growing fond of traveling with these people.
i have no doubt verity is keeping an eye on us from his quarters on the ship. he must know what happened to me in that trial room, and i will have to ask him when we return. i really would like to know what i read. i also really need to find out if he has a clue what happened to my sister. It would be nice to locate at least where she is, even if we do not end up going after her. on top of that… i should ask him if he has any idea what has been bothering ruby. he will probably tell me it’s just typical worrying for his home, but still, i cannot shake the feeling something is bothering him.
recent events have made me regret judging him so quickly, as he was able to avoid his fate and earn the good will of skully himself. of course, there is no guarantee this fate is any less adverse than the former, but having skully as a guardian certainly helps his chances. i remember that having saved me many times in our youth... it is pointless to reminisce, as it is now neuvieh who seems to be able to reach him. i hope he grows to understand what a tremendous feat this is, and that he doesn't take that responsibility lightly. but perhaps it is no longer my place to say. i only hope that he helps free my brother's tortured soul.
i honestly think it is a relief that howl stayed behind on the ship- if he had died during this somehow, whether it be through the oakfather's trials or the druids killing him themselves for being a dragonborn, i think yalkar's meticulously crafted nonchalant persona might crack. Howl is cursed by horrible luck, unfortunately. I do wonder what he is up to now though- engineering something useful, perhaps? Or maybe just worrying about yalkar. from what i understand, they were apart for quite a long time. It’s no wonder every time they are in each other’s presence they are attached at the hip.
lord ostoroth's son, nearly an exact replica of the man who's slaughtered my people for the past century. when i see him, i'm reminded that my breath no longer draws the flame that my mother gave me. yet, i also see a very sad and lonely boy who thinks he is not worth much. and for that reason, i feel me and him are not so different. i get the sense that yalkar has come to the same conclusion about him, and i trust his judgement more than anything. i think i'd like to speak to neuvieh more, perhaps it will help me recover from the loss of my honor and maybe even bring me a new ally.
it is good to see that she has regained her soul just as we did. i wonder if she's doing alright.
i hope he rots in the hells. he is the creature they tell young elves to worry about.
if prys were here, i think things would be going smoother. she's so empathetic and understanding... things that i am not. i have a feeling she would be doing so much better of a job than me at negotiating and making things right- I don't think tabby's mother likes me, and it leaves me wondering, would prys do better? would she have passed the oakfather's trial with flying colors? i love my sister, i do, but sometimes i am... jealous of how wonderful she is. i miss her and i hope she is doing okay. i will have to ask verity if he has located her when we return to the ship.
prys most likely revived vasha before they left, whenever that was. i wish verity had stopped them instead of just letting them depart. i wish to speak with my brother about everything.
i had my doubts about nashira, but after having a conversation with her, i have come to realize she is far more approachable than i first thought. i feel… bad for judging her solely on what i have read about gnolls in books, because she is nothing like the crazed maniacs they speak of- and she says though it is commonplace among gnolls to lose themselves, she finds it more useful than anything. it’s odd, really; i thought i could trust that everything i would ever need to know would come from what i have read, but talking with nash has made me hesitate on that thought. she let me know that insanity was the cause of my lapse in memory, she let me draw a card from her deck of cards, and let me confide in her about some things troubling me… i am glad she joined us.