Geoffrey (D&D 5e: Idiots with Equipment)

shagoliravioli

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Created
4 years, 9 months ago
Creator
shagoliravioli
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Profile


GEOFFREY
GAYLORD
KING





Elf (High)

Race
Medium

Size
6’4” / 193cm

Height
??? lbs. / ?? kg

Weight
Wizard 6 / Bard 1

Class/Level
169

Age
Male

Gender
Neutral Good

Alignment








Strength
3
16








Dexterity
1
13








Constitution
2
14








Intelligence
5
20








Wisdom
1
12








Charisma
4
18









EXP
23000








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Spell Slots








Inspiration








+3
Proficiency Bonus








  • + 3Strength
  • + 1Dexterity
  • + 2Constitution
  • + 7Intelligence
  • + 4Wisdom
  • + 4Charisma
Saving Throw Bonuses








1
Initiative








1
Attacks/
Action








Walk
30
Speed








Level
6+1
Used
0
Die
d6 / d8
Hit Dice








  • + 1 Acrobatics 
  • + 4 Animal Handling
  • + 7 Arcana
  • + 3 Athletics
  • + 4 Deception
  • + 7 History
  • + 1 Insight
  • + 4 Intimidation
  • + 7 Investigation
  • + 1 Medicine
  • + 4 Nature
  • + 4 Perception
  • + 7 Performance
  • + 4 Persuasion
  • + 4 Religion
  • + 1 Sleight of Hand
  • + 1 Stealth
  • + 1 Survival
Skills








12
Armor Class
11 + 1 / 13 + 1








Current
53
Temp
0
Max
53
Hit Points








Pass
- - -
Fail
- - -
 Death Saves 








Attack Name Ability Range To Hit Damage Damage Type
Boots of Big Dick Energy
Str
5 ft
+6
1d4+3
Bludgeon, Psychic
5 (1d4 +3) magical (melee) bludgeoning damage; 1 psychic damage. Proficient.
Attacks made using these boots deal 1 point of psychic damage in addition to its base 1d4+3 bludgeoning damage.
  • Arcane Focus: an arcane focus is a special item — an orb, a crystal, a rod, a specially constructed staff, a wand-like length of wood, or some similar item — designed to channel the power of arcane spells. A sorcerer, warlock, or wizard can use such an item as a spellcasting focus. Geoffrey uses his boots as his arcane focus by flamenco dancing.
  • Heavy: small creatures have disadvantage on attack rolls with heavy weapons. A heavy weapon’s size and bulk make it too large for a Small creature to use effectively.
Attack Name Ability Range To Hit Damage Damage Type
Dagger
Str
5; 20/60
+6
1d4
Pierce
2 (1d4) melee piercing damage. Proficient.
Stabby or throwy.
  • Finesse: when making an attack with a finesse weapon, you use your choice of your Strength or Dexterity modifier for the attack and damage rolls. You must use the same modifier for both rolls.
  • Light: a light weapon is small and easy to handle, making it ideal for use when fighting with two weapons.
  • Thrown: if a weapon has the thrown property, you can throw the weapon to make a ranged attack. If the weapon is a melee weapon, you use the same ability modifier for that attack roll and damage roll that you would use for a melee attack with the weapon.
Attacks








Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Chill Touch
Int
120 ft.
VS
1 Action
1 Round
2d8 necrotic damage; target can’t regain hit points until the start of your next turn.
You create a ghostly, skeletal hand in the space of a creature within range.
  • Make a ranged spell attack against the creature to assail it with the chill of the grave. On a hit, the target takes 1d8 necrotic damage. Until the start of your next turn, the hand clings to the target.
  • The target can’t regain hit points until the start of your next turn.
  • If you hit an undead target, it also has disadvantage on attack rolls against you until the end of your next turn.
  • At higher levels: this spell’s damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).
  • Necromancy cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Fire Bolt
Int
120 ft.
VS
1 Action
Instant
2d10 ranged fire damage.
You hurl a mote of fire at a creature or object within range.
  • Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 1d10 fire damage.
  • A flammable object hit by this spell ignites if it isn’t being worn or carried.
  • At higher levels: this spell’s damage increases by 1d10 when you reach 5th level (2d10), 11th level (3d10), and 17th level (4d10).
  • Evocation cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Mage Hand
Cha
30 ft
VS
1 Action
Instant
Lends a hand.
A spectral, floating hand appears at a point you choose within range.
  • The hand lasts for the duration or until you dismiss it as an action.
  • The hand vanishes if it is ever more than 30 feet away from you or if you cast this spell again.
  • You can use your action to control the hand. You can use the hand to manipulate an object, open an unlocked door or container, stow or retrieve an item from an open container, or pour the contents out of a vial. You can move the hand up to 30 feet each time you use it.
  • The hand can’t attack, activate magical items, or carry more than 10 pounds.
  • Conjuration cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Minor Illusion
Int
30 ft.
SM
1 Action
1 Minute
Creates one sound or image for up to one minute.
You create a sound or an image of an object within range that lasts for the duration. The illusion also ends if you dismiss it as an action or cast this spell again.
  • If you create a sound, its volume can range from a whisper to a scream. It can be your voice, someone else’s voice, a lion’s roar, a beating of drums, or any other sound you choose. The sound continues unabated throughout the duration, or you can make discrete sounds at different times before the spell ends.
  • If you create an image of an object — such as a chair, muddy footprints, or a small chest — it must be no larger than a 5-foot cube. The image can’t create sound, light, smell, or any other sensory effect. Physical interaction with the image reveals it to be an illusion, because things can pass through it.
  • If a creature uses its action to examine the sound or image, the creature can determine that it is an illusion with a successful Intelligence (Investigation) check against your spell save DC. If a creature discerns the illusion for what it is, the illusion becomes faint to the creature.
  • Material component: this spell requires a bit of fleece.
  • Illusion cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Shocking Grasp
Int
Touch
VS
1 Action
Instant
Melee spell attack, 2d8 Lightning damage.
You use your action to try to touch a creature with a lightning shock.
  • Make a melee spell attack, with advantage if the target is wearing metal armor. On hit, the target takes 1d8 lightning damage and can’t take reactions until the start of its next turn.
  • At higher levels: this spell’s damage die increases by one at levels 5 (2d8), 11 (3d8), and 17 (4d8).
  • Evocation cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Toll the Dead
Int
60 ft
VS
1 Action
Instant
2d8 necrotic damage to unhurt targets; 2d12 necrotic damage to damaged targets.
You point at one creature you can see within range, and the sound of a dolorous bell fills the air around it for a moment.
  • The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d8 necrotic damage. If the target is missing any of its hit points, it instead takes 1d12 necrotic damage.
  • At higher levels: this spell’s damage die increases by one when you reach 5th level (2d8 or 2d12), 11th level (3d8 or 3d12), and 17th level (4d8 or 4d12).
  • Necromancy cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Vicious Mockery
Cha
60 ft
V
1 Action
Instant
Wis save: 2d4 psychic damage, target gets disadvantage on next attack.
You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range.
  • If the target can hear you (though it need not understand you), it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 psychic damage and have disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of its next turn.
  • At higher levels: this spell’s damage die increases by 1d4 when you reach 5th level (2d4), 11th level (3d4), and 17th level (4d4).
  • Enchantment cantrip.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Chromatic Orb
Int
90 ft.
VSM
1 Action
Instant
3d8 acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison, or thunder damage.
You hurl a 4-inch-diameter sphere of energy at a creature that you can see within range.
  • You choose acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison, or thunder for the type of orb you create, and then make a ranged spell attack against the target. If the attack hits, the creature takes 3d8 damage of the type you chose.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.
  • Evocation spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Cure Wounds
Cha
Touch
VS
1 Action
Instant
1d8+4 healing.
A creature you touch regains a number of hit points equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier.
  • This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.
  • Evocation spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Detect Magic
Int
S: 30 ft.
VS
1 Action
10 Minutes
Produces visible auras around magic objects, revealing their schools.
For the duration, you sense the presence of magic within 30 feet of you.
  • If you sense magic in this way, you can use your action to see a faint aura around any visible creature or object in the area that bears magic, and you learn its school of magic, if any.
  • The spell can penetrate most barriers, but it is blocked by 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt.
  • Evocation spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Dissonant Whispers
Cha
60 ft
V
1 Action
Instant
Wis save: 3d6 psychic damage (half on success). Fail: target must flee.
You whisper a discordant melody that only one creature of your choice within range can hear, wracking it with terrible pain.
  • The target must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, it takes 3d6 psychic damage and must immediately use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed allows away from you.
  • On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage and doesn’t have to move away.
  • A fleeing target won’t move into obviously dangerous ground, such as a fire or a pit.
  • A deafened target automatically succeeds on the save.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.
  • Enchantment spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Faerie Fire
Cha
60 ft
V
1 Action
C ≤ 1m
Dex saving throw: 20 ft cube giving attack advantage.
Each object in a 20-foot cube within range is outlined in your choice of blue, green, or violet light.
  • Any creature in the area when the spell is cast is also outlined in light if it fails a Dexterity saving throw. For the duration, objects and affected creatures shed dim light in a 10-foot radius.
  • Any attack roll against an affected creature or object has advantage if the attacker can see it, and the affected creature or object can’t benefit from being invisible.
  • Evocation spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Find Familiar
Int
60 ft.
VSM
1 Action
1 Hour
Get pet.
You gain the service of a familiar, a spirit that takes an animal form you choose: bat, cat, crab, frog (toad), hawk, lizard, octopus, owl, venomous snake, fish (quipper), rat, raven, sea horse, spider, or weasel.
  • Appearing in an unoccupied space within range, the familiar has the statistics of the chosen form, though it is a celestial, fey, or fiend (your choice) instead of a beast. Your familiar acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In combat, it rolls its own initiative and acts on its own turn. A familiar can’t attack, but it can take other actions as normal. When the familiar drops to 0 hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. It reappears after you cast this spell again.
  • Although a familiar cannot attack on its own, they can provide the Help action in combat and act as a sneak-attack partner.
  • While your familiar is within 100 feet of you, you can communicate with it telepathically. Additionally, as an action, you can see through your familiar’s eyes and hear what it hears until the start of your next turn, gaining the benefits of any special senses that the familiar has. During this time, you are deaf and blind with regard to your own senses.
  • As an action, you can temporarily dismiss your familiar. It disappears into a pocket dimension where it awaits your summons. Alternatively, you can dismiss it forever. As an action while it is temporarily dismissed, you can cause it to reappear in any unoccupied space within 30 feet of you.
  • You can’t have more than one familiar at a time. If you cast this spell while you already have a familiar, you instead cause it to adopt a new form. Choose one of the forms from the above list. Your familiar transforms into the chosen creature. This takes 1 hour to complete.
  • Finally, when you cast a spell with a range of touch, your familiar can deliver the spell as if it had cast the spell. Your familiar must be within 100 feet of you, and it must use its reaction to deliver the spell when you cast it. If the spell requires an attack roll, you use your attack modifier for the roll.
  • Material components: this spell requires 10 gp worth of charcoal, incense, and herbs that must be consumed by fire in a brass brazier.
  • Conjuration spell, can be ritual cast.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Healing Word
Cha
60 ft.
V
1 Action
Instant
1d4+4 healing.
A creature of your choice that you can see within range regains hit points equal to 1d4 + your spellcasting ability modifier.
  • This spell has no effect on undead or constructs.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d4 for each slot level above 1st.
  • Evocation spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Ice Knife
Int
60 ft.
SM
1 Action
Instant
Ranged spell: 1d10 piercing damage; within a 5-ft sphere of the target, Dex save against 2d6 cold damage.
You create a shard of ice and fling it at one creature within range.
  • Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 1d10 piercing damage.
  • Hit or miss, the shard then explodes. The target and each creature within 5 feet of the point where the ice exploded must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d6 cold damage.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the cold damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.
  • Material components: this spell requires a drop of water or piece of ice.
  • Conjuration spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Mage Armor
Int
Touch
VSM
1 Action
8 hours
Alters a willing target’s AC to 13 + Dex mod.
You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends.
  • The target’s base AC becomes 13 + its Dexterity modifier while this spell is active. (Geoff’s AC is 14 under the effects of Mage Armor.)
  • The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.
  • Material components: this spell requires a piece of cured leather.
  • Abjuration spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Magic Missile
Int
60 ft
V
1 Action
Instant
1d4+1 force damage × 3. Darts can target independently.
You create three glowing darts of magical force. Each dart hits a creature of your choice that you can see within range.
  • A dart deals 1d4+1 force damage to its target.
  • The darts all strike simultaneously, and you can direct them to hit one creature or several.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the spell creates one more dart for each slot level above 1st.
  • Evocation spell.
  • Missile’s favorite.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Shield
Int
Self
VS
1 Reaction
1 Round
Self: AC +5.
An invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you.
  • Until the start of your next turn, you have a +5 bonus to AC, including against the triggering attack, and you take no damage from magic missiles.
  • Abjuration spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Tasha’s Hideous Laughter
Int
30 ft.
VSM
1 Action
C ≤1m
Wis save against incapacitation.
A creature of your choice that you can see within range perceives everything as hilariously funny and falls into fits of laughter if this spell affects it.
  • The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or fall prone, becoming incapacitated and unable to stand up for the duration.
  • A creature with an Intelligence score of 4 or less isn’t affected by this spell.
  • At the end of each of its turns, and each time it takes damage, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. The target has advantage on the saving throw if it’s triggered by damage. On a success, the spell ends.
  • Material components: this spell requires some tiny tarts and a feather to wave in the air.
  • Enchantment spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Invisibility
Int
Touch
VSM
1 Action
C ≤1h
Touch a creature to make it invisible for up to an hour unless they attack or spellcast.
A creature you touch becomes invisible until the spell ends.
  • Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible as long as it is on the target’s person.
  • The spell ends for a target that attacks or casts a spell.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 2nd.
  • Material components: this spell requires an eyelash encased in gum arabic.
  • Illusion spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Levitate
Int
60 ft.
VSM
1 Action
C ≤10m
Gamers Rise 20 Feet Up.
One creature or object of your choice that you can see within range rises vertically, up to 20 feet, and remains suspended there for the duration.
  • The spell can levitate a target that weighs up to 500 pounds. An unwilling creature that succeeds on a Constitution saving throw is unaffected.
  • The target can move only by pushing or pulling against a fixed object or surface within reach (such as a wall or a ceiling), which allows it to move as if it were climbing. You can change the target’s altitude by up to 20 feet in either direction on your turn. If you are the target, you can move up or down as part of your move. Otherwise, you can use your action to move the target, which must remain within the spell’s range.
  • When the spell ends, the target floats gently to the ground if it is still aloft.
  • Transmutation spell.
“More versatile than you originally expect. It can be used for utility (scaling the cliff or castle walls or to the floating castle), defense (perfect defense against creatures that can’t fly and have no or weak ranged attacks), or a debuff (levitate the creature that has little or no ranged attacks and kill his buddies, then finish him off with ranged attacks). At level 10+, you can still use this spell to win a combat in a single failed saving throw.”
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Mirror Image
Int
Self
VS
1 Action
1 Minute
Conjures three duplicates that mimic your every move.
Three illusory duplicates of yourself appear in your space.
  • Until the spell ends, the duplicates move with you and mimic your actions, shifting position so it’s impossible to track which image is real.
  • A duplicate’s AC equals 10 + your Dexterity modifier. If an attack hits a duplicate, the duplicate is destroyed. A duplicate can be destroyed only by an attack that hits it. It ignores all other damage and effects. The spell ends when all three duplicates are destroyed.
  • Each time a creature targets you with an attack during the spell’s duration, roll a d20 to determine whether the attack instead targets one of your duplicates. If you have three duplicates, you must roll a 6 or higher to change the attack’s target to a duplicate. With two duplicates, you must roll an 8 or higher. With one duplicate, you must roll an 11 or higher.
  • You can use your action to dismiss the illusory duplicates.
  • A creature is unaffected by this spell if it can’t see, if it relies on senses other than sight, such as blindsight, or if it can perceive illusions as false, as with truesight.
  • Illusion spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
See Invisibility
Int
Self
VS
1 Action
1 Hour
Allows the caster to see the invisible.
For the duration, you see invisible creatures and objects as if they were visible, and you can see into the Ethereal Plane. Ethereal creatures and objects appear ghostly and translucent.
  • Material component: this spell requires a pinch of talc and a small sprinkling of powdered silver.
  • Divination spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Animate Dead
Int
10 ft
VSM
1 Minute
Instant
Get pet human.
This spell creates an undead servant.
  • Choose a pile of bones or a corpse of a Medium or Small humanoid within range. Your spell imbues the target with a foul mimicry of life, raising it as an undead creature. The target becomes a skeleton if you chose bones or a zombie if you chose a corpse (the GM has the creature’s game statistics).
  • On each of your turns, you can use a bonus action to mentally command any creature you made with this spell if the creature is within 60 feet of you (if you control multiple creatures, you can command any or all of them at the same time, issuing the same command to each one). You decide what action the creature will take and where it will move during its next turn, or you can issue a general command, such as to guard a particular chamber or corridor. If you issue no commands, the creature only defends itself against hostile creatures. Once given an order, the creature continues to follow it until its task is complete.
  • The creature is under your control for 24 hours, after which it stops obeying any command you’ve given it. To maintain control of the creature for another 24 hours, you must cast this spell on the creature again before the current 24-hour period ends. This use of the spell reasserts your control over up to four creatures you have animated with this spell, rather than animating a new one.
  • Enhancement from Arcane Tradition - Undead Thralls: you can target one additional corpse or pile of bones, creating another zombie or skeleton, as appropriate. Whenever you create an undead using a necromancy spell, it has additional benefits:
    • The creature’s hit point maximum is increased by an amount equal to your wizard level.
    • The creature adds your proficiency bonus to its weapon damage rolls.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you animate or reassert control over two additional undead creatures for each slot level above 3rd. Each of the creatures must come from a different corpse or pile of bones.
  • Material component: this spell requires a drop of blood, a piece of flesh, and a pinch of bone dust.
“I find the ENDLESS debate over whether casting this spell is evil so annoying I almost wish this spell didn’t exist, but it does, and it’s a good use of your action economy. An undead servant standing directly in front of me, opening doors that might have nasties on the other side, opening chests that might be filled with nasty traps, eating up enemy attacks, etc. Just plain useful. Tell you what, I’ll leave my alignment blank and you imagine whatever you like there. Satisfied?”
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Counterspell
Int
60 ft
S
Reaction
Instant
Nay, thou!
You attempt to interrupt a creature in the process of casting a spell.
  • If the creature is casting a spell of 3rd level or lower, its spell fails and has no effect. If it is casting a spell of 4th level or higher, make an ability check using your spellcasting ability. The DC equals 10 + the spell’s level. On a success, the creature’s spell fails and has no effect.
  • At higher levels: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the interrupted spell has no effect if its level is less than or equal to the level of the spell slot you used.
  • Abjuration spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Leomund’s Tiny Hut
Int
S-10 ft
VSM
1 Minute
8 Hours
10ft hemispherical radius safe space around user.
A 10-foot-radius immobile dome of force springs into existence around and above you and remains stationary for the duration. The spell ends if you leave its area.
  • Nine creatures of Medium size or smaller can fit inside the dome with you. The spell fails if its area includes a larger creature or more than nine creatures. Creatures and objects within the dome when you cast this spell can move through it freely. All other creatures and objects are barred from passing through it. Spells and other magical effects can’t extend through the dome or be cast through it. The atmosphere inside the space is comfortable and dry, regardless of the weather outside.
  • Until the spell ends, you can command the interior to become dimly lit or dark. The dome is opaque from the outside, of any color you choose, but it is transparent from the inside.
  • This ritual requires a small crystal bead.
“A ritual spell that basically provides a dome shaped wall of force for camping that you and your companions can move through. That’s pretty darned effective. Very nice ritual, and tempting to grab even with spell selection at some point. Oh, you can shoot arrows out of the dome, but enemies can’t fire arrows in. Also, enemies cannot enter the hut, they can’t see into the hut, and I don’t mean if they fail a save, I mean there is no save. Unless the enemy has some form of teleportation (and misty step won’t work, since you can’t see into the hut), this is a 100% effective spell for safe camping. Finally, there is the environmental benefit as the inside of the hut is always a comfortable temperature and nice and dry. Not only the best ritual in the game, one of the best spells for its level, period.”
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Hypnotic Pattern
Int
120 ft
SM
1 Action
C ≤ 1m
Wis save against incapacitation and immobilization.
You create a twisting pattern of colors that weaves through the air inside a 30-foot cube within range.
  • The pattern appears for a moment and vanishes. Each creature in the area who sees the pattern must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature becomes charmed for the duration. While charmed by this spell, the creature is incapacitated and has a speed of 0.
  • The spell ends for an affected creature if it takes any damage or if someone else uses an action to shake the creature out of its stupor.
  • Illusion spell.
Spell Name Ability Range Comp. Setup Duration
Thunder Step
Int
90 ft
V
1 Action
Instant
Teleport away with a friend in arm’s reach. Con save: 3d10 thunder damage for those who were within 10 ft.
You teleport yourself to an unoccupied space you can see within range. Immediately after you disappear, a thunderous boom sounds.
  • Each creature within 10 feet of the space you left must make a Constitution saving throw, taking 3d10 thunder damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. The thunder can be heard from up to 300 feet away.
  • You can bring along objects as long as their weight doesn’t exceed what you can carry. You can also teleport one willing creature of your size or smaller who is carrying gear up to its carrying capacity. The creature must be within 5 feet of you when you cast this spell, and there must be an unoccupied space within 5 feet of your destination space for the creature to appear in; otherwise, the creature is left behind.
  • At higher level: when you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d10 for each slot level above 3rd.
  • Conjuration spell.
SPELLS








  • Armor Proficiencies: Light.

Geo is not particularly keen on armor. The man’s adventuring around in a suit, for fuck’s sake.

  • Languages: Understands, speaks, and writes Common, Elvish, Sylvan, Primordial (Auran), and Halfling.

Geoffrey learned Common and Elvish as a part of growing up. The Sylvan language was something he picked up through careful study of Fey Teleportation, Auran is the language he learned and used while studying archaeology, and Halfling is something he learned for and from his best friend, Evie.

  • Racial Traits: +2 Dex, +1 Int, 1 Cantrip, darkvision (60 ft.), Keen Senses, Fey Ancestry, Trance, Elf Weapon Training.
    • Cantrip: You know one cantrip of your choice from the Wizard spell list. Intelligence is your Spellcasting Ability for it. (Race: High Elf)
    • Elf Weapon Training: You have proficiency with the Longsword, Shortsword, Shortbow, and Longbow. (Race: Elf)
    • Extra Language: You can speak, read, and write one extra language of your choice. (Race: High Elf)
    • Fey Ancestry: You have advantage on saving throws against being charmed, and magic can’t put you to sleep. (Race: Elf)
    • Keen Senses: You have proficiency in the Perception skill. (Race: Elf)
    • Trance: Elves don’t need to sleep. Instead, they meditate deeply, remaining semiconscious, for 4 hours a day. (The Common word for such meditation is “trance.”) While meditating, you can dream after a fashion; such dreams are actually mental exercises that have become reflexive through years of practice. After resting in this way, you gain the same benefit that a human does from 8 hours of sleep. (Race: Elf)

Whoever signed off on the idea of a man this stupidly fruity being able to comfortably philander around for 20 hours a day on every day of the year should be fired.

  • Tool Proficiencies: Navigator’s tools, guitar.

As an archaeologist, Geoffrey is adept at not getting lost. Stop him before he can say something about “getting lost in my eyes!”

  • Weapon Proficiencies: from Elf Weapon Training: short swords, long sword, short bow, longbow; from Wizard class: daggers, darts, slings, quarterstaffs, light crossbows; from Bard class, simple weapons, hand crossbows, rapiers; from background, Boots of Big Dick Energy.

Adolescent training taught Geoffrey to use weapons that he would largely discard entirely. The Boots, however, they call to him. He respects and appreciates the Boots’ power.

Traits
  • Background Features: History and Animal Handling proficiencies (archaeological specialty is the origin and history of animal husbandry), Dust Digger, Historical Knowledge, 1 language.
    • Dust Digger: Prior to becoming an adventurer, you spent most of your young life crawling around in the dust, pilfering relics of questionable value from crypts and ruins. Though you managed to sell a few of your discoveries and earn enough coin to buy proper adventuring gear, you have held onto an item that has great emotional value to you. (Signature Item: Pith Helmet)
    • Historical Knowledge: When you enter a ruin or dungeon, you can correctly ascertain its original purpose and determine its builders. In addition, you can determine the monetary value of art objects more than a century old.

An archaeologist learns about the long-lost and fallen cultures of the past by studying their remains – their bones, their ruins, their surviving masterworks, and their tombs. Those who practice archaeology travel to the far corners of the world to root through crumbled cities and lost dungeons, digging in search of artifacts that might tell the stories of monarchs and high priests, wars and cataclysms.

Geoff likes digging in the dirt. Geoff likes eating in the dirt. Geoff likes eating the dirt. Enough said.

  • Class Features (Bard): Bardic inspiration (d6 × 4).
    • You can inspire others through stirring words or music. To do so, you use a bonus action on your turn to choose one creature other than yourself within 60 feet of you who can hear you. That creature gains one Bardic Inspiration die, a d6.
    • Once within the next 10 minutes, the creature can roll the die and add the number rolled to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw it makes. The creature can wait until after it rolls the d20 before deciding to use the Bardic Inspiration die, but must decide before the GM says whether the roll succeeds or fails. Once the Bardic Inspiration die is rolled, it is lost. A creature can have only one Bardic Inspiration die at a time.
    • You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier (a minimum of once). You regain any expended uses when you finish a long rest.

He’s loud, he’s proud, and he’s annoying enough in person that he can make his allies hit just a little harder if he so pleases.

  • Class Features (Wizard): Arcane Tradition: School of Necromancy (Necromancy Savant, Grim Harvest, Undead Thralls, Inured to Undeath, Command Undead), Arcane Recovery, Signature Spells.
    • Arcane Recovery: You have learned to regain some of your magical energy by studying your spellbook. Once per day, when you finish a short rest, you can choose expended spell slots to recover. The spell slots can have a combined level that is equal to or less than half your wizard level (rounded up), and none of the slots can be 6th level or higher.
    • Arcane Tradition: When you reach 2nd level, you choose an arcane tradition, shaping your practice of magic through one of eight schools: abjuration, bladesong, conjuration, divination, enchantment, evocation, illusion, necromancy, thaumatology, and transmutation. Your choice grants you features at 2nd level and again at 6th, 10th, and 14th level.
      • Grim Harvest: At 2nd level, you gain the ability to reap life energy from creatures you kill with your spells. Once per turn when you kill one or more creatures with a spell of 1st level or higher, you regain hit points equal to twice the spell’s level, or three times its level if the spell belongs to the School of Necromancy. You don’t gain this benefit for killing constructs or undead.
      • Necromancy Savant: Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, the gold and time you must spend to copy a necromancy spell into your spellbook is halved.
      • Undead Thralls: At 6th level, you add the animate dead spell to your spellbook if it is not there already. When you cast animate dead, you can target one additional corpse or pile of bones, creating another zombie or skeleton, as appropriate. Whenever you create an undead using a necromancy spell, it has additional benefits:
        • The creature’s hit point maximum is increased by an amount equal to your wizard level.
        • The creature adds your proficiency bonus to its weapon damage rolls.
      • Inured to Undeath: Beginning at 10th level, you have resistance to necrotic damage, and your hit point maximum can’t be reduced. You have spent so much time dealing with undead and the forces that animate them that you have become inured to some of their worst effects.
      • Command Undead: Starting at 14th level, you can use magic to bring undead under your control, even those created by other wizards. As an action, you can choose one undead that you can see within 60 feet of you. That creature must make a Charisma saving throw against your wizard spell save DC. If it succeeds, you can’t use this feature on it again. If it fails, it becomes friendly to you and obeys your commands until you use this feature again. Intelligent undead are harder to control in this way: if the target has an Intelligence of 8 or higher, it has advantage on the saving throw. If it fails the saving throw and has an Intelligence of 12 or higher, it can repeat the saving throw at the end of every hour until it succeeds and breaks free.
    • Spell Mastery: at 18th level, you have achieved such mastery over certain spells that you can cast them at will. Choose a 1st-level wizard spell and a 2nd level wizard spell that are in your spellbook. You can cast those spells at their lowest level without expending a spell slot when you have them prepared. If you want to cast either spell at a higher level, you must expend a spell slot as normal. By spending 8 hours in study, you can exchange one or both of the spells you chose for different spells of the same levels.

“I’m a proper healer,” Geoff may insist, “I’m right on time!” Unluckily for him (as well as all those he meets), Geoff is not a proper healer or on time. He’s not evil and certainly doesn’t mean to cause harm on a large scale, but it can be hard to parse that from his chaotic stupidity.

  • Elven Accuracy: Int +1. Whenever you have advantage on an attack roll using Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma, you can re-roll one of the dice once. (Race: Elf)

Few things escape Geoff’s keen eyes. Perhaps that’s why he hits on countless men?

  • Fey Teleportation: Int +1. You learn to speak, read, and write Sylvan. You learn the Misty Step spell and can cast it once without expending a spell slot. You regain the ability to cast it in this way when you finish a short or long rest. Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for this spell. (Race: High Elf)

Careful study has led Geoff to the ability to teleport “directly to the nearest man of a comparable beauty to mine!” The only good part to come out of this is that it takes Geoff away from everyone else.

  • Tough: Your hit point maximum increases by an amount equal to twice your level when you gain this feat. Whenever you gain a level thereafter, your hit point maximum increases by an additional 2 hit points.

Geoff may be a wizard, but he’s still firm. Firm with a bit of squishiness, sure, but he’s of an unusually solid build for a wizard. The casual onlooker would have no idea where the hell this comes from — until Geoff starts showing off his thighs to the local bartender, that is.

  • War Caster: You have advantage on Constitution saving throws that you make to maintain your concentration on a spell when you take damage. You can perform the somatic components of spells even when you have weapons or a shield in one or both hands. When a hostile creature’s movement provokes an opportunity attack from you, you can use your reaction to cast a spell at the creature, rather than making an opportunity attack. The spell must have a casting time of 1 action and must target only that creature. (Class: Wizard)

Geoff has mastered the art of being a true asshole of a spellcaster. Now, continuing to dance in order to upkeep levitating a guard drake is even easier!

Features

Personality Trait 8: “You might think I’m a scholar, but I love a good brawl. These fists were made for punching.”

Geo was a strange child; despite his pride, the boy withdrew into himself throughout primary school. As he didn’t take well to stress, he coped with it by burying himself in his studies (a habit he never outgrew). Mild and quiet, he didn’t have many friends in childhood, and what few friends he did have weren’t particularly memorable or good friends.

This took a turn as he aged, and as he hit puberty, he blossomed into a character more like the Geoff of today. Once he began building muscle, he began to come out (in more ways than one) and turn to cheekier endeavors. Developing a healthy ego alongside a set of killer thighs, Geo finally felt able to express himself freely, and so he did, quickly becoming flirty, assertive, fruity, smug, and confident.

This newfound strength and confidence led to Geoff getting into fights and winning them; however, this didn’t earn him many friends. He still isn’t particularly a social butterfly, even to this day; while he gladly makes connections with as many people as he possibly can, he keeps a small, treasured selection of close friends instead of having shallower relationships in excess.

Flaw 3: “When I’m not exploring dungeons or ruins, I get jittery and impatient.”

Geoff is unfortunately stubborn and deals with stress rather poorly. Digging and exploration were his outlets since childhood, and he hasn’t outgrown the need for them yet. His studies in particular are where he flees when pressure heats his life; ruins and dig sites don’t expect anything of you, unlike how a wife or child might. While he can suppress his thirst for exploration and knowledge while in the presence of others, he can’t quite suppress the urge to run headfirst into any vaguely archaeological excavation site and immediately start asking questions and gathering information.

Personality Traits and Flaws

Ideal 1: “Preservation. That artifact belongs in a museum.” (Good)

Geoffrey learned of the fragile, fleeting nature of life early on when he learned of a small, destroyed coastal town near the edge of the woods he grew up in. Destroyed by a tsunami long before he was born, nature ate away at it with every passing year, and before long, there wasn’t anything left of it but the memories of such a beautiful, empty space. Geoff isn’t unhappy that Mother Nature has rightfully reclaimed what was once hers, but he regrets not doing anything to save the memory of it more than just being there at times.

Bond 3: “I have a friendly rival. Only one of us can be the best, and I aim to prove it’s me.”

Geoffrey doesn’t seem to like talking about his rival any more, dodging the question whenever asked about it, but catching him on a lonely, drunken night might reveal an upset, wistful clue or two to why this is the case. They’ve allegedly known each other since childhood, but it’s been quite a while since they’ve been in contact.

The most obvious answer to this broken rivalry is how Geoffrey is now an outlaw: he is wanted for battery, harassment, interfering with the peace, and cavorting with aberrations. There is a 500 GP bounty on his head with an additional 200 GP bonus if captured and turned in alive. Temporarily discarding his academic goals, his primary goal is to live life outside prison, though clearing his name or atoning for his crimes are also high up on the list.

Now that he’s found Missile, a direct victim (consequence?) of his actions, he’s remembered the unfortunate reality that he’s responsible for more than just her; both finding her sister, Mercury, and helping the two understand their identities feels like the least he can do — and something only he can do.

Goals and Bonds




CP
6








SP
278








EP
50








GP
128








PP
0




  • ×1 Adept’s Armor

A curious set of leather armor with writhing vein patterns baked into its hide. When worn, the wearer’s AC is 11 + their Dexterity modifer. It also increases the wearer’s Intelligence score by four to a max of twenty. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Boots of Big Dick Energy

Geoffrey’s signature set of special knee-high boots. The soles are thick and noisy, lending to a resounding, pleasant clacking when he walks on wood floors. He casts spells with these by flamenco dancing. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Bullseye Lantern

This would be more useful if Geoff weren’t an elf with darkvision! Alas, woe unto a mostly-useless piece of equipment. Received from background.

  • ×1 Business Card

Made of stone, it summons the card’s identified person if snapped in half. The card is delicately carved with an emblem of a smoky fox, leaving an M behind it. From the M, it reads “Memories Manifesto.” The owner’s name was Mordecai or something, wasn’t it...? Eh, we’ll probably remember it when we summon him.

  • ×1 Canopic Jar

A dig-site trinket that’s unfortunately been desecrated with bug guts. Don’t look inside if you value your sanity and your lunch staying right where it is. Received from background.

  • ×2 Cufflinks

Among the manliest, if not the manliest, kind of jewelry in existence. These buttons are made to be threaded in and out of a short area for holding your fancy kissed French cuffs on your bourgeoisie dress shirt together.

  • ×4 Dagger

You like stabby things? I hope you like stabby things. One received from basic class training, four received from Cloud of Dagger mishaps. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Dungeon Map

“A map of my eyes, because you always seem to be getting lost in them!” — no, but Geoff wishes it were. It’s just a detailed map of a set of coastal ruins in a mangrove forest. Geoff allegedly made this himself. Received from background.

  • ×1 Earplugs

Everyone’s favorite anti-screaming device.

  • ×1 Jewelry Box

A collection of gifts from Bacon. Inside are shards of amethyst (×2), chalcedony, obsidian, onyx, opal (×2), and rose quartz; then spheres of chalcedony, hematite, moonstone, onyx, opal.

  • ×1 Knitting kit

Fantastic balls of yarn and knitting needles in every color under the sun! Come on, stop wasting time! Let's make sweaters already.

  • ×1 Lapis Lazuli Shards

A gift from Missile. Aww, this stone is a symbol of friendship. Adorable!

  • ×1 Map Case

It holds maps! ... Or so the tales say. Some say Geoff holds other things in here. Others say that he’s a stupid idiot. Received from background.

  • ×1 Mysterious Mushroom

Geo wrapped this strange mushroom up in a makeshift envelope after he found in the woods. Similar fungi were found growing on a green dragon’s shed scales and on the collarbones of people known to be in frequent contact with a green dragon. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Traveler’s Clothes

At first glance, it almost seems like Geoff would prefer not to wear these, but he’s not looking forward to being charged with public indecency atop everything else he’s wanted for. Received from background.

  • ×1 Traveler’s Guide to Flavo’rr

A hardcover book on the finer points of visiting Flavo’rr. The annotations inside include a general grouping of the bad parts of town, a trail from the guild to a rental room, and a “beast-taming” festival being held at the Dowllem Celebration Hall.

  • ×1 Two-Person Tent

Geoff claims that he has never slept with anyone in that tent, but onlookers tend to doubt it. Received from class background.

  • ×1 Pith Helmet

Geoff’s favorite hat! You’ll never see him without it. Geoff likes to claim that “yes, the hat stays on all the time, even during sex!” Received from background (Dust Digger feature).

  • ×1 Shovel

How does a digger dig a thing without a dig-thing? Move Earth casters need not apply. Received from background. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Shrunken Hand

A shrunken troll hand, for, well, when you need to lend a hand. Once per long rest, this hand can restore 10 hit points to Geoff if he drops to 0 hit points. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Spellbook

An essential part of being a wizard, as what other critically important item could possibly be eaten by a dog while you’re attending wizard school? Received from basic class training. This item is available only during adventures.

  • ×1 Stationery kit

A lovely quill, two wells of ink, and a notepad for taking notes on. These are often used for things that are not taking notes, such as autographing hats, drawing mustaches on ancient, priceless artifacts, and for making envelopes to hold extremely dubious mushrooms in.

Inventory








14




Passive Wisdom (Perception)
Darkvision: 60 ft
Senses




  • Current familiar: Klaus Wolfgang III the Otter (uses weasel stats).
  • Spellcasting modifier: INT +7 (4 + 3) / CHA +7 (4 + 3)
  • Spell Save DC: INT 15 (8 + 4 + 3) / CHA 15 (8 + 4 + 3).
  • He has a pet cockatoo, Lucy, who is surprisingly not his familiar. She’s just a regular bird, surprisingly enough. Since cockatoos live long lives, she’s more than likely still around, so where did she go after Geoff’s involvement with the Nightworm queen drove her away?
  • Associated Major & Minor Arcana: The Devil, Ace of Swords
  • Profile code by SchwarzerAlptraum; heavy edits by shagoliravioli.
Notes