The Empore (sic)
Corny fantasy AU where there's swords and magic stuff. A concerted effort to make myself lighten up a bit and have some fun for a change. Tis all just a joke. Mostly.
The Knights of the Holy Frig are the Emporer's (sic) crack team of the most epic warriors in the realm. You know how badass and overpowered the knights of the round table are in arthurian legend? they're pretty much like that. Don't let the plate armour fool you, each knight devotes themselves mind body and soul to the mastery of all kinds of martial arts and mediations in the imporeal (sic) kansian dojo. Yeah, they have those in kansia.
They don't just let any old schmuck become a knight--you need to be a powerful battlemage, adept in all manners of combat, and mega strong in both body and mind. You can't just be a meathead either, you've gotta be flexing that intellectual prowess as well. If you meet this criterea, and you prove yourself to be intensely honorable and valorous, you MIGHT get a chance at knighthood. If you're seriously serious you have to take some intensely restrictive oaths and if you do, congrats, you made it. Also the only way you can get out is by death or exile, so, I hope you enjoy your new life <3
These guys are the best of the best, and they all huff imporeal farts with the most chivalrous devotion imaginable. As you can imagine it makes them each the most joyless motherfuckers on the planet, and, worse, they're all pretty smug about it too. Then again, smugness is really the only satisfaction they're allowed to get out of life, so. Let them have it.
Knightly duties include:
- Elite bodyguard to the Emporer and/or Emporess
- Leading military units in wartime
- Apprehending and/or Eliminating enemies of the empore
- Random Acts of Law Enforcement
- Being paragons of virtue and chivalry
- Slaying dragons, and any other elf-beasts you happen upon
- Cleansing oneself of all emotion & honing oneself into a perfect invincible blade