Nymus's Links
When I met Applelight I didn't think highly of her. She was naive, impulsive, light-hearted in the face of the clearly difficult task we had been entrusted with. To this day, I'm not sure why StarClan chose her as one of the three and if I'm honest, of all the cats we travelled with that didn't betray and try to kill me, Applelight is probably the one whose company I enjoyed the least.
But now that it's over, I see her struggling with her past relationship with Sparkstorm, trying to keep her head up and move on from what we had went through and I find myself admiring how hard she is trying. Out of us all, she might be the one that grew the most. Taking a FogClan mate for her kits was a brave decision and I've come to respect her.
When I look at how I'm doing myself, I don't know where she gets all that strengh from.
I started off disliking Applelight when we met - almost out of principle. For all I knew she was just messing with Sparkstorm, and even if she wasn't her company certainly wasn't good for him.
Almost against my will, I came to respect her spirit, her feistiness and how much she clearly cared for my friend, for all of us even.
But she was naive, we all were. I was glad when the two of them ended their relationship, but of course that didn't last long with how alone I felt with everyone gone. I respect her for choosing a FogClan tom as her mate after everything, even if my heart aches for Sparkstorm. Seeing what are clearly his kits grow up in a different clan is...challenging.
My opinion of him was not necessarily positive from the start.
Not only was he a grumpy furball, Thunderfang wasn't exactly happy that Sparkstorm and I liked each othe andr rather than support his best friend like my sister did with me he showed his displeasure.
Well ... over time it turned out that he had the best overview of all of us and somehow he became the leader of our small group.
I looked up at him and respected his decisions and at first it seemed like everything was going to get better...
Well, It didn´t.
To this day ... it's complicated.
For one thing, I know what he went through. What we all went through
I am sorry for him and, unlike the other Clan cats or my sister, he was at the journey, which forms a strange bond - On the other hand, I know that he is happy that Spark and I are no longer together, which in turn annoys me a lot.
Where do I even begin?
When I think back to when we were young, Devilpaw and me, we just never really got along. She was always lazy, snarky and frankly more on the heavier side. She never listened, didn't respect a single cat, not even the higher ranking ones, and would butt in whenever she could, especially if it was none of her business.
When she followed us on the journey I was annoyed, but the longer we spent away from home, the happier I was to have her next to me. I noticed her changing, but I thought it was for the better. She just seemed so much more balanced, so much more confident...I can't believe how blind I was. I should have seen through her earlier.
Maybe if I had, I wouldn't have had to...maybe things would have been different.
I still see her dead eyes in my sleep, her fur soaked in blood. I see her staring at me when I'm awake.
She was my responsibility, and I failed her and everyone else.
I always thought Thunderfang was too hard on his sister.
She was clearly struggling, and I figured him badmouthing her wasn't helping...but at some point during the journey I came to see why their relatinoship was the way it was. She would criticize everything and everyone, no matter their feelings or thoughts of her or cats close to her - including me, despite my efforts to defend her and be nice to her. She didn't offer help or helpful suggestions, he just wanted to put others down to feel better about herself.
Now of course she changed while we were away, and originally I was glad, especially with her and Thunder seemingly growing closer again.
But of course I was wrong. Turns out I'm just as blind as everyone else when it comes to those I think to know.
I not happy it had to end this way, but Thunderfang had no choice when he killed her. I only think of her in relation to his pain, I don't miss her.
I would be lying if I said I didn't see the way she changed on the journey...but I never would have thought the scale of this change to be this big. I saw the way she acted, the way she steered everyone towards the direction she wanted, but Quailpaw's death made me incapable of staying on top of it. I couldn't help but follow her lead, I was was so much pain and rage...and of course she knew this.
If I hadn't let my emotions guide me so strongly, maybe I could have gotten through to Thunderfang before there was no other path left anymore. What she brought over us was terrible and she will get her dues in the afterlife, but I still remember her for her struggle to find her way.
My brother had the wisdom of a cat multiple times his age. He had such a good heart, he didn't deserve to die like this. I can't believe he had to give his life to protect everyone from themselves, they should be ashamed...
Mudclaw was a tom I had great respect for. He possessed wisdom beyond his age and a heart the size of his giant paws.
After the sacrifice he made for the clans, I respect him even more, though I am saddened by the loss of a great cat like him. LeafClan can be proud of having been his home.
I only had little to do with Roseblood when we were apprentices, she certainly seemed more headstrong than her sister. I used to think her a coward for always cowering behind Applelight and not speaking up, but after getting back it seems she has grown quite a bit.
I respect how much she supports her sister, but I can tell she's neither a big fan of Sparkstorm, nor me.
When I met Thunderfang for the first time, I thought he was a jerk.
Sarcastic, grumpy, downright mean...but he also turned out to be frustratingly ressourceful. Once we got to know him a little better I could at least respect his leadership skills, but I never considered us friends.
I learned a little more about him through his brother and that certainly improved my opinion of him, but after Mudclaw died I just...I see him suffering, and I see him pushing everyone away. It reminds me of how my sister tries to avoid her feeling, and it hurts them both.
I don't think he acts the way he does with us because he's strong and has gotten over it, I think he does it because he feels weak.
I only met Roseblood once before we started our journey, and just a couple times after we returned.
I don't have much of an opinion of her, but I noticed that her aura had changed during the time all of us were gone. I can see the way she supports her sister and I can respect her vor working with Mudclaw to take care of the clans while we were away.
When I see her with Applelight, she reminds me of my sister.
Dawnfeather and I don't have much to do with each other. I only saw him once before he left with the other to look for our leaders, and then once again when he came back. We share a look on gatherings, but that's it. I also think he's not too fond of Applelight for some reason, so that's doesn't help things.
He's very reserved and quiet, but seems intelligent.
I don't have a problem with him, but that's pretty much it.
After everything that happens, Dawnfeather is still sitting at StarClan's paws, like a dog awaiting orders.
I can feel the bitterness seeping out of him, but he refuses to let it change him. If any of the others could even begin to understand what I'm feeling it would be him, all I sense when he looks at me is pure understanding and it vexes me.
Because all I can think of in his presence is what I almost did to him, and what I had to do afterwards...
It's like his eyes...her eyes...they stare right through me. I can't face him.
It's been a long time since I spoke to Thunderfang.
Obviously what happened between us put a wedge in all of our relationships, but instead he's acting like he barely even knows me, just like he does with the others. I don't really hold a grudge against him anymore, if he's to blame for my sister's death that's true for me, too.
This is a type of pain we share, I can see it eating him up. I just hope he can start healing some day.
Dawnfeather is a tough one to get to know, given that he hardly talks to anyone.
Over the course of the journey I noticed him opening up to everyone and I came to enjoy his company, he's quite intelligent and if you're lucky enough to catch him in a good mood, he can be very funny.
I can tell that losing his sister took its toll on him and I sympathize with that, but after what happened between him and Thunderfang things are a little uncomfortable between all of us.
Of course I haven't seen him in moons...but I hope he's doing well. I hope all of them are doing well.
Sparkstorm is a difficult cat to judge.
I know he's never really felt at home with his clan, under the pressure of being the deputy's son and then suffering through what happened on our journey. Now that his father has become leader, he chose to leave altogether, something I don't agree with.
I don't personally dislike him, he has a big heart, but he's still got a lot of growing up to do.
Sparkstorm has a legacy and duty here, running away is never the right path. I think that sooner or later, he'll come to see that.
Ough, THAT guy!
He doesn't give a fuck about me anyway, he's just trying to shoo me off so he can get back home - I wish he'd take my memory away after he disappears so I wouldn't have to think of his arrogant face anymore!
Why can't they just choose some bastard lying around drunk in a ditch somewhere, a broken bird for him to fix...and leave me alone!
Yatsu had only heard of Kyori from other students, until the latter suddenly appeared in front of his classroom and proceeded to blackmail him with a video that shows Yatsu having sex with another female student.
They've since spent more time together, however Yatsu still greatly dislikes him and would prefer he left him alone - mostly because he's annoyed to no longer be allowed to have any relationships, short as they may be. His behaviour is so out of character that his best friend Noboru has tried talking to him about it, but Yatsu still hasn't told anyone about what's going on with Kyori and why he suddenly started hanging out with him.
Noboru hasn't had much to do with Kyori until recently, only knowing of his existence through what other people were saying. However, since they got to know each other a little he has grown to like the older student and enjoys his company when they are out with other friends. He noticed quickly that Kyori seems to like his best friend Yatsu, paying him a great deal of attention and has already tried talking to his friend about his rude behaviour towards Kyori - which, to his knowledge, is without reason.