Oof yeah that was the same with me. I used to think the RP partner was a close friend and then you start looking back and realize well boy they weren't a good person at all! Gosh and i was the same where it took so long for me to realize that it was all bad because, like, that was my only rp partner so naturally i thought that's how things went? and even then, like you said, i was younger and didn't know any better. but jesus that sounds awful. friggin' just forcing a character that's not even yours to sleep with you. that's awful no matter what scenario, i'm sorry you had to go through that but i'm glad you got out of it.
and yeah! i just finished reading about belial! i absolutely hate what happened to him. i get it like how you said before that you were younger and didn't know any better, but for that person to just... like amp it up and keep encouraging you rather than talk about it. goddd i'm sorry
YEAHH H H H :(((( that seems to be a common pattern for young adults of my generation, realizing a lot of messed up shit about their old rp partners who they thought were good people, but just. "hm it seems im full of rTrauma now, thats strange." im okay though even if my oc has lasting scars (its hard to explain but im like... extremely empathetic [not meaning to brag there bc empathy doesnt necessarily mean kindness or intelligence inherently], which means i overrelate to my ocs and can FEEL their suffering if theyre in pain so even though the wife isnt a "canon" part of his story anymore and therefore kinda doesnt exist at all, he STILL has ptsd from being raped and abused by her)
what i mean to say is im ok, its not the worst rp situation ive been in and im ok even after all of those things too, im older now and have gained a lot of perspective and have grown a lot as a person and im finally letting myself say those things were wrong LOL
and seriously the belial situation was like. oh m y GODDD LOL ok so i was in this rp group and his sister was rped by this like, 25 year old ass woman when the majority of us were freshmen in highschool. now theres nothing wrong with rping stuff w/ younger kids of course, but the fact that she had that oc who was so awful to belial made her age really creepy. we didnt know any better bc we were kids who grew up on the internet, where we're told stuff like incest is okay and normal, but she kind of had no excuse at that age :/;;;
belial tends to doubt himself a lot because "well gawrsh /i/ was the one making my feelings known so arent /i/ technically the abuser???" is a common thought in his head but the fact of the matter is he's not, because she neglected her duty as an older sister and never taught him the right way, never tried to get him help, never even let him down gently, she just did nothing but subtly encourage it and that painted her rper in a really freaky light. the rper was definitely established to have some disturbing fetishes like rape and abuse and incest and stuff (which, being 21 now myself, is so like "OK WHAT KIND OF ADULT SHARES THEIR FETISHES W/ KIDS O_O;;;;;") so i dont doubt she in some sense enjoyed what was going on
thank you for reading though! it was sort of harrowing to write because as i said above, i can feel his sadness and pain and feelings of being dirty when he feels them, so it means a lot to me that folks read it and were thinking about it
PicklePantry
Alcott Northwind
Oof yeah that was the same with me. I used to think the RP partner was a close friend and then you start looking back and realize well boy they weren't a good person at all! Gosh and i was the same where it took so long for me to realize that it was all bad because, like, that was my only rp partner so naturally i thought that's how things went? and even then, like you said, i was younger and didn't know any better.
but jesus that sounds awful. friggin' just forcing a character that's not even yours to sleep with you. that's awful no matter what scenario, i'm sorry you had to go through that but i'm glad you got out of it.
and yeah! i just finished reading about belial! i absolutely hate what happened to him. i get it like how you said before that you were younger and didn't know any better, but for that person to just... like amp it up and keep encouraging you rather than talk about it. goddd i'm sorry
5 years, 8 months ago
YEAHH H H H :(((( that seems to be a common pattern for young adults of my generation, realizing a lot of messed up shit about their old rp partners who they thought were good people, but just. "hm it seems im full of rTrauma now, thats strange." im okay though even if my oc has lasting scars (its hard to explain but im like... extremely empathetic [not meaning to brag there bc empathy doesnt necessarily mean kindness or intelligence inherently], which means i overrelate to my ocs and can FEEL their suffering if theyre in pain so even though the wife isnt a "canon" part of his story anymore and therefore kinda doesnt exist at all, he STILL has ptsd from being raped and abused by her)
what i mean to say is im ok, its not the worst rp situation ive been in and im ok even after all of those things too, im older now and have gained a lot of perspective and have grown a lot as a person and im finally letting myself say those things were wrong LOL
and seriously the belial situation was like. oh m y GODDD LOL ok so i was in this rp group and his sister was rped by this like, 25 year old ass woman when the majority of us were freshmen in highschool. now theres nothing wrong with rping stuff w/ younger kids of course, but the fact that she had that oc who was so awful to belial made her age really creepy. we didnt know any better bc we were kids who grew up on the internet, where we're told stuff like incest is okay and normal, but she kind of had no excuse at that age :/;;;
belial tends to doubt himself a lot because "well gawrsh /i/ was the one making my feelings known so arent /i/ technically the abuser???" is a common thought in his head but the fact of the matter is he's not, because she neglected her duty as an older sister and never taught him the right way, never tried to get him help, never even let him down gently, she just did nothing but subtly encourage it and that painted her rper in a really freaky light. the rper was definitely established to have some disturbing fetishes like rape and abuse and incest and stuff (which, being 21 now myself, is so like "OK WHAT KIND OF ADULT SHARES THEIR FETISHES W/ KIDS O_O;;;;;") so i dont doubt she in some sense enjoyed what was going on
thank you for reading though! it was sort of harrowing to write because as i said above, i can feel his sadness and pain and feelings of being dirty when he feels them, so it means a lot to me that folks read it and were thinking about it
5 years, 8 months ago