IM SO FUCKINV DONE WIRH THIS SHIT WHEN WILL I DIE
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Spoiler Code: <div class="fr-spoiler">A spoiled vent.</div>
Help
i fucking hate the way i turned out and just how i’ve always been
bitch and moan all you want about how you’re sorry for what you’ve done in the past but it’s too late. i can’t forgive any of you because the damage has been done so much it’s beyond repair, and my entire life is beyond ruined
I’m genuinely terrified right now, I’m less then a year from becoming a legal adult and leaving the school system, but due to traumatic events and extreme mental health issues (and less prevalent health issues) I haven’t even been able to pass grade ten. It’s not that I’m not smart, I know I am (this is not some sort of brag, I’m genuinely obsessed with scientific research and build scientifically accurate worlds and ecosystems in my pass time**), it’s just that well, it’s just that it’s hard to get an education when you’re locked away in the mental hospital once or twice a month.
I know I won’t be able to get any sort of good paying job, and wth my sensory and health based issues most occupations here are out of the question (I live on a small island). Really the only thing that I’m okay at is art, but how the hell can I make a living off of that when ai is everywhere these days? Heck- even before ai.
I don’t want to be the next useless mentally ill idiot of the family who relies on welfare and the kindness of their relatives so as to not starve to death…
i know why im angry. it's okay that ive felt the way ive felt so long. but i understand there's no point in being bitter and waiting for an apology waiting for them to realize how they've been treating me and hoping for change. i can't control that. my time and energy is better spent elsewhere. maybe that's what i'ven needed tp realize all this time.
So cool, when you try just get out of your past things. Everyday, I remind to myself how bad I am, that I've done terrible things, and just can't live on this fucking earth. It's so hard to act like I'm a normal person. But I'm happy, now everyone knows that I'm just a freak with bipolar disorder, who is always dreaming of killing. I can't can't help normally people, who am I for now then? Ehehehhheh. Yall, I just hate that I'm living with you all, you didn't deserve such a creep like me. I'm glad I'll leave internet soon
if 1 more horny internet fuck messages me online im going to mutilate my face & post the results so that im undesirable & they stop :3
im not serious ofc! at least not completely! but this is getting tiring asf to deal with! i dont even post anything inappropriate! i tell them all i have a boyfriend! but men fucking suck ig so they dont care!! they are so deranged im going to go CRAZY.
Why I want to say to everyone to kill themselves. Like bruh I can just talk normally with people, but I just....have too much anger because of nothing. I want to throw all my emotions on a random user. And I am too selfish, because I want to hear a response, even just "I'm sorry". I'm just that type of people, who are social parasites, and just looking to attention. I want to be loved, trust me, and while irl I have no support even from parents, I'm looking to get something from internet, but getting so little attention is just.. making me feel like people don't want to talk about me, because I'm a Creep, and stuff. My headache is increasing, nice. I want to to kill myself. Because I'll leave internet soon, but at the same time I am glad that nobody could hear any nonsense from a freak like me. Such an internet yamero, huh?
I don't feel like I deserve to be on this site anymore. I feel ostracized on here and it's like no matter what I do, I can never seem to fit in. No matter what I do, I'm always the odd one out. For a while I really thought I was getting along with everyone, I really thought I was on my way to making friends. Then next thing I know, no one talks to me and I've been replaced. I cannot stand the people who took my place, though I can't get myself to block them. It's such a petty thing and I don't want them thinking they did something wrong. I just want to have friends on here, but nooooo. I think it's best if I just slowly started to make my way out, I never deserved to be here in the first place