Woah, you're such a fucking hypocrite.
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Help
Man I think I just do comms so I think people like me. Like why do I slave away for minimum wage I have a job that pays a little more lol. I do enjoy art and in that way I feel like it's a part of me. And I prob have bpd from my childhood and shit so people not comming me feels like rejection and it hurts more than it should. I feel like laughing cause it seems silly when I'm rationally thinking about it. But damn I rack up all these comms then feel so empty when I'm doing them.
Imagine when you're believed by people in a tournament, and you lost almost all things, even for those who are weaker than you
Honestly want to cry, but I don't want to show my emotions
Why am I such a loser? Why I make everything wrong. My parents were right with saying that I need
To Kill myself
i cope with my emotions in a healthy way, like dismembering a png of my comfort character in ms paint and then adding blood and tears
i feel like today was the day i;ve gaine conciius and i hate it i don’t understand why i’m feeling this way but i feel like everday before this point all i’ve been doing was blissfully be unaware of everything and had my head up the clouds until now i feel weirdly hyperaware of everything in my body or whatever i want to stop thinking because all i want to do is cry
I'm venting too much, I know I know, I feel guilty that you have to read this. But I'm done with all this. I'm so anxious, so stressful, almost having a panic attack because of a CONCERT?! Like I have to play in 1 concert, and bruh, I'm just scared by others, by viewers, it seems like I'm just a 1 guy who just...idk...I just want to go away, but I can't, because I'm playing in orchestra. Everyone needs to be there
I hope i won't kill myself after a bad performance